trying to get ex back , help

[SunnyD]

but SunnyD how will I ever get us back together again?

You know if you give in right now she'll pull away so fast you'll wonder what went wrong. Just be busy for a little while. Don't be an ******* to her, answer one out of every 5 texts or calls, then be busy. When she starts treating you with respect and ending her stupid games, and SHE brings it up that she wants to get back together..then you can make your move. Until then, assume she is just messing with your head because she craves your attention.

Trust me, I've been trying to get my ex back and when he started seeing some other girl I tried even harder. Especially when he was suddenly never around..it drove me crazy. So I did the same thing, started seeing some new guy and ending complete attention to my ex. Gave up really and just went out and had fun and lived my life. And now guess who ended things with the girl he was sleeping with and is coming back around wanting to get together?

Again, don't be a jerk...just be busy. Until she smartens up.

Also expect this to come next..her telling you she is dating a new guy. Which will likely be 98% bull**** and her next attempt of wheeling you back in.

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah the guy thing will be a ruse jacob.

She might even post a picture on Myspace of her and someother guy together but if she's as hot as you say she is be fully aware that chicks like that have armies of AFC orbiters who they can go to, to get strength and ego repair from as well unwittingly help them in their little schemes with the main guy that they are trying to win a game with.

Even if she posts a picture of her kissing some guy be aware that its all just to get a reaction out of you and its likely an orbiter who believes falsely that his number has finally been called for all his months of dedication to kissing her ass.

 

[SunnyD]

It's true, because I truthfully am not dating a new guy..haha.

I said "hanging out with"...which is true, my friends. Haha, but he doesn't need to know that. I'm playing the game he's playing on me.

 

[KontrollerX]

LOL, Sunny thanks for the backup and being truthful about things here.

Another great female contributor we've got here gentlemen to add to the list of Penkitten, WaterTiger and BlackWidow in Sunny D.

Note it well.

 

[jacob]

SunnyD you're scaring me woman, you said he started dating, you were going crazy then you started dating that gives me no comfort at all, as far as answering maybe 1 out of 5 calls I already had that today with 2 texts she never came on that strong after the break up, who's to say that was her last try to give me a shot again? I know from experience that it's true that she'll lose interest if I jump whenever she calls so I'll make her sweat a couple days and I pray she'll call again but KontrollerX as far as 2 weeks I risk being forgotten. SunnyD, you're a big help and the only woman I think that frequents this site (idk) I cherish your advice so keep it coming along with all the guys, as documentation we'll see if this site really knows what kind of reaction will come from a lady. I'm listening and I'll try my best to execute the advice I get according to the consensus. again thanks for supporting me.

 

[SunnyD]

SunnyD you're scaring me woman, you said he started dating, you were going crazy then you started dating that gives me no comfort at all, as far as answering maybe 1 out of 5 calls I already had that today with 2 texts she never came on that strong after the break up, who's to say that was her last try to give me a shot again? I know from experience that it's true that she'll lose interest if I jump whenever she calls so I'll make her sweat a couple days and I pray she'll call again but KontrollerX as far as 2 weeks I risk being forgotten. SunnyD, you're a big help and the only woman I think that frequents this site (idk) I cherish your advice so keep it coming along with all the guys, as documentation we'll see if this site really knows what kind of reaction will come from a lady. I'm listening and I'll try my best to execute the advice I get according to the consensus. again thanks for supporting me.

au contraire mon frère...I said I let him THINK that I've been dating. I haven't actually been, but as soon as he figured as much...he came back around.

I'm glad I could be of help to you...I am in the same spot as your ex right now so I know exactly what is going through her head. Trust me. She won't give up yet. I knew my ex was sleeping with this new (hideous) girl and I didn't give up but I felt "well ew, if that's what he left me for.." and did my own thing. He never left my mind though, and I've been waiting for him to end things with her, which he now has. I stopped contacting, but ofcourse the minute he called me..I was all over it.

Stay in touch, but sparse touch..and stay mysterious so she isn't SURE what you're thinking.

 

[jacob]

SunnyD ok so you're saying like starting from ground zero with her like someone trying to win her heart again i.e being mysterious, unavailable, a challenge how I did in the beginning, prob is we lived together and a pattern was established she kinda knows my routine. Can you tell me from you're situation what your ex should do to get you both together again.

 

[SunnyD]

SunnyD ok so you're saying like starting from ground zero with her like someone trying to win her heart again i.e being mysterious, unavailable, a challenge how I did in the beginning, prob is we lived together and a pattern was established she kinda knows my routine. Can you tell me from you're situation what your ex should do to get you both together again.

Yes exactly that. Let her think she COULD have had you but she blew it and now you're busy.

In my situation, it's me trying to get him back really...so I can't really say what he can do to get me back. I'm ready now but his still playing it cool and acting like he has options is keeping me intrigued.

He called me 3am Sat. for a bootycall and I turned him down because I don't want to be all available any time he snaps his fingers. So I'm kind of playing his game back at him and seeing how it goes. It's all about the challenge...you know that.

 

[jacob]

awesome idea. I'll disappear for sometime then maybe a week from now I'll call her at 3 in the morning so that way if she doesn't answer I won't feel rejected and the ball is back in her court, but do I leave a voice message or should I text her something mysterious so as to stir her curiousity and make her feel compelled to return the call? and if so, any idea what message i should leave? let me know if this is a good idea?

 

[MacAvoy]

Jacob,

don't turn into this guy do yourself a favour and read through all 23 pages of the thread.

You don't need our help to tell you exactly every little detail. Just come for general advice, have some faith in what you are told, we shouldn't have to hold your hold the whole way through, you need to learn on your own.

However the good news is that you HAVE taken our advice and have seen the benefits. Now please read the entire thread and make the choice to take control of your life and not let ONE pvssy control you.

 

[Last Man Standing]

She is not worth "getting back"!! How old are you?

 

[Z Man]

I am rooting for you, jacob. I am interested to see how this works out. Also, SunnyD's comments are very telling. I wonder if two months of no contact with a girl is "sparse" enough, as I would like to see her again.

Go jacob! Go jacob! It's your birthday! Go jacob! :cheer:

 

[jacob]

lastmanstanding I'm 33 she's my 2nd LTR and I've pretty much have short term relationships from one night stands to about a month, I think I'm good looking and I've been told by a lot of women and girls as I was growing up that I'm gorgeous. I'm not big I'm tall and lanking but I'm in shape because I used to be a boxer and take jujitsu. as far as Carmen not being worth it, maybe, but I, as a man have a high sex drive and Carmen used to be a stripper, not only did she fall for me, I had nothing, like I said I ride a bicycle I still live with my parents, before Carmen I had no credit, my room was a pig style and I worked part time. She excepted me for who I was and spent thousands on me and all I had to offer her was me and my time. I was AFC when I was young and that's why even if I was handsome I would be bad with the girls. alot would be attracted to me but they tell my friends that I'm too slow. As I was working at this hotdog stand I met this valet guy named Joe he had nothing was dirt poor but he was total Don Juan. Joe also rode a bicycle to work and told me he lived in the woods and his toliet was a bucket, but man would I see him with fine as b*tches meeting him at work. He would come to the stand to beg for lunch and kick it with me and talk story he was also a musician, he was top notch at rapping and beat boxing he was 22 years old pretty handsome, and full of love for anybody. We would kick it and watch all the honeys pass by and he would beat box joke around and nothing would piss him of and he taught me about kino, not purposely, but he would give me a hug when I feed him left over food and just sit close and invade my private space and rub up against me like it was something natural. I know it's starting to sound gay but it's not. He was just comfortable with his fellow human beings and knew how to love and the love he showed me was brotherly love but he had girls as lovers. He also taught me about eye contact and just gazing into someones eye and getting really close with a smile on your face cause before he would hug me he'd do that. Look, I'm straight as an arrow and it's against my religion to do homo **** but the things this guy did started making me attracted (lol) although again I would never turn or do gay stuff and it hit me, I knew why a lot of girls liked him. So to make a long story short before I found this site, I imitated Joe and his attitude in order to get Carmen and the other girls before her and it works like a charm then I came upon this site and it validated everything Joe did, the way he acted and was. The point is, I had my fair share of women, I have 2 kids the girl is 12 and the boy is 13 I'm not with the mom because I was AFC and now I know why I lost the mom after 7 years, I have learned alot through this site and experiences with real life Don Juans like Joe and I used to be in a gang when in high school so yeah my other friends were also natural DJs but they did the techniques subconciously I guess they were "sexy jerks" and "bad boys" that girls fell in love with. Carmen was a prize not only is she a manager at Ross's (she makes way more than I do) she also was the best sex I ever had all the nasty stuff you see in porn she would do to please me if I wanted, infact we made a lot of porn hence she's porn material. Also outside of bed she was very loving and thought of me like buying me clothes, food, this computer etc. and in return i couldn't keep up with my income I couldn't afford to buy her nothing but Mcdonalds. So it's hard to think she's not worth it and that she's the one losing me. Again I'm a man with a high sex drive and she having been a stripper knows how to please me the way I like, she could easily be in a Buttman video, and that's why I'm trying to get my ex back.

 

[jacob]

forgive me for the rant turning AFC again gotta get her off my mind and kick her off the pedestal.

 

[Last Man Standing]

lastmanstanding I'm 33 she's my 2nd LTR and I've pretty much have short term relationships from one night stands to about a month, I think I'm good looking and I've been told by a lot of women and girls as I was growing up that I'm gorgeous. I'm not big I'm tall and lanking but I'm in shape because I used to be a boxer and take jujitsu. as far as Carmen not being worth it, maybe, but I, as a man have a high sex drive and Carmen used to be a stripper, not only did she fall for me, I had nothing,

This sounds like a troll post!!!!

If you had nothing before you met her, you now have less than nothing now!!! How is that possible, you ask? Because she is sucking your spirit out of you and you are losing your manhood in the process!!! From the outpouring of your lamentations, I thought you were 19 years old! Why didn't you just tell us the she is a stripper hor?? You deserve whatever strife that becomes you, for being beholden to that which should not even be grasped!!!!!

 

[jacob]

last man standing with friends like you who needs enemies? you zapped my self esteem even more, about leaving her alone and no contact I heard that advice from KontrollerX and McAvoy who seems to understand women and give inspiring advice for the Don Juan brothers in a supportive way. I'm human and I did fall in love with Carmen, so it hurts when I read you calling her a stripper hor, but I forgive you and I ask for guidance with your experience with women so I can experiment and try to win her back. Maybe that's the only way right now is she isn't worth the effort and I should except it, but this being a community supposedly geared toward being suave with women maybe there's another way another option besides that and I'm listening to any other advice someone can offer. SunnyD gave me hope so did McAvoy and KontrollerX, and thanks for the support Zman.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This sounds like a troll post!!!!

Indeed, a troll thread I suspect.

 

[jacob]

what's a troll post?

 

[jacob]

ok it's now 7:44 am here. woke up by text message from Carmen it said "helo" so thinking about SunnyD's advice about responding to 1 in 5 texts or calls I respond "yeah" to which she responds back " so r u the one calling" I put "no" then she responds "k" I come online to find her waiting on the myspaceIM then I look in messages, got one from Carmen saying "can you please take down our pictures" I don't reply to it, then again I get another text on the cell from Carm, again "can you take our pics down?" I respond on the cell "nope" then she respond "y" I don't respond she texts again "helo so y wont u take it down u got someone...she wouldn't like to see that...just some advice" I still don't respond then she text's "y no answer " and then I respond with a text "call me if you want an answer" then she responds "y don't u call???" and I just left it at that. she didn't call and I didn't? So now what? KontrollerX ? SunnyD? McAvoy?

 

[MacAvoy]

You made the cardinal mistake and once again got sucked into her text games. You completely ignored my advice from earlier and look where it got you. I think you need to go back and re read the thread and listen closely to the advice you were given, the advice you took, look at what worked and look at where you screwed up.

Ok heres what I would do. I would continue to ignore the text messages and go with phone calls. There is a reason why women are using the texts, because you can't call them out, its safe for them. They don't like confrontation and they are scared to call, thats why they use texts.

When Carmen calls, just tell her you were busy and didn't get a chance to call her back. Tell her that you didn't call her back cuz she never left a msg so you assumed it wasn't important. If and when she does call, ask her whats up, "what can I do for you", if she says I'm just callin to see if your ok or along that lines, say your fine but your busy and you have to go.
If she wants to be in your life, she has to want to spend time with you, not sucking you into her life on the phone.

You made the mistake of allowing her to suck you into her drama.
To repeat,

1. I said the only method of contact should be the phone.
2. If she isn't calling to ask you out, then immediately end the call by saying your busy.
3. Continue to ignore all txt/communication except phone calls.
4. When she does call, repeat #2 until she asks you out.

Its that simple. Now you've given her validiation by responding to her txts. You've also given her validation by refusing to take down her pics, aka this translates to her, your not willing to move on and need to keep her in your life.

Now I don't know about myspace, but this is exactly why I don't join facebook. I don't want everyone to know who I'm shaggin, or who I'm out partying with. With tagging and stuff like that, if your out on the dating / party scene, sure you can get social proof from it, but it can hamper your game just as much by making you look like a playa.

I would stop going on myspace or block her or something, stop communicating with her that way. These tools give women control, they can dictate how the conversation goes, if they don't like the way its going, they just sign out. However they can't do the same on the phone cuz society deems that rude and unacceptable, however on the net, its normal.

I'm going to post another quote from Kontroller who also spoke on this topic but you keep ignoring. Text plays right into her validation, get that through your thick skull, NEVER NEVER use texts to communicate with women.

Dude didn't you say that before this contact she had deleted you from Myspace and you thought for sure she was gone for good and that you'd fvcked up majorly?

Bottom line is she deleted you after you gave her what she wanted ie the lovey dovey sex talking to via text messaging, she got her validation.

Yay yippee skippy hooray he still wants me time to move on!!!!!

Oh wait a second the validation didn't last I ummm actually have feelings for this guy still that I need to get over, I think I'll accuse him of making a bunch of calls to me to not only humiliate him as though he was that obsessed with me so I can then laugh at his denials of having done that and get even more validation but I get to hear his pathetic whimpering voice acting brave when I know he only wants me to take him back and umm I miss his voice a little bit but whatever the more pathetic I can make him out to be in my mind with my little games the easier I can get over him by placing him in the friend box or the non issue box.

Yay I win!!!

Oh wait he's not falling for it this time...could it be...could it be...no...no...it can't be...he's not over me is he???

OH MY GOD I'M NOT THAT GREAT AFTER ALL THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!

MUST GET VALIDATION NOW I AM WORTHLESS OTHERWISE!!!!!

*Time passes you don't call*

Oh I actually do miss him, I miss our relationship, he loved me so much and I loved him.

Maybe I will call him now finally, not that he would ever want to talk to me after how I've acted but maybe there's hope.

*Sniff*

*SOB*

*CRY*