Trying to be friends with my ex!!!

[NeedToImprove]

it's about 6 months that me and my ex gf ended up the relationship ( she ended up that's the truth ), and we ended in the worst way possible with conflicts and quarells, i never understood why she ended up ( till i found sosuave and learned i am a an afc ) and wanted an explanation because i was clueless.

the thing is i wanted her back but she never gave me a chance, in fact when the relationship ended she treated me like she hated me from the bottom of her heart even though we spent one year together and she told me many times she loved me and that i was very special to her... she never treated with disrespect when we were together really but then she started to act like a *****

even time didnt help,she moved on with her life, she has a new boyfriend but she still hates me even though she has no reason for it i believe. i read in the forum somewhere that one could consider the chance of being friends with her ex so that she could introduce you to her other female friends even though that doesnt work many times... but this girl is irreductible she treats me like im garbage, she said that she wants me to leave her alone, that she wants me to die etc... when during 1 year she was telling me that i respected and treated her like no other did, i have a clean conscience that i was a good boyfriend gave her love and respect, ok i did some errors like not being a challenge but she has no reason to treat me like that

is this a normal reaction? i mean, why do ex's act like this, do they have a reason to hate us so much?

 

[Jariel]

I wish I could be more optimistic, but the truth is she wants you out of her life and she's being cruel to be kind, trying to get you away from her and leave her alone...and move on for your own benefit of course. Afterall, how can you have a relationship with someone when your ex is still in the picture?

She probably has no reason to be nasty to you except that you aren't taking the polite hint. As a rule, the harder you try to be friends with an ex- the more she will resent you. Consider yourself lucky she's not tagging you along, getting you to buy presents or feed her ego etc.

However, if you are standing for this sh1t she's throwing at you and STILL want to be friends, she will see you as quite pathetic and not willing to stand up for yourself I'm afraid. As soon as anyone treats you like that you should turn ice cold and get them out of your life.

I remember my break ups, everyone was telling me to move on and I kept making excuses like "I can use my ex to meet new people" or "She'd make a good friend", but they were all excuses when honestly I just wanted her in my life again so I could try and use "DJ skils" to persuade her to come back to me.

The solution is pretty much standard and I'm sure most guys here will verify it's the best way to go. Basically, you have to move on, stop talking to her and cut her out of your life. At the best she'll realise how much she misses you and come crawling back, and at the worst, you both move on with your lives and meet someone else.

PS. Read the post in my signature about handling rejection for some examples.

 

[Monkey]

Let the past stay in the past, learn from it and move on.

 

[HeartThrob]

Everyone goes through a break-up or several break-ups throughout their lives. The most important thing is to learn from it. It sucks, it hurts, but if you want to be a man and not a typical AFC, you will move on. Remember the good times, so when a conversation comes up with a girl or whomever about ex's (hopefully not often) you can say good things. No reason to hold angst or want things back to the way they were, it will only make you look and feel like a chump.

My first ex of 2 years I tried the same ***** thing. I tried to make it work, I tried to kiss ass. The last ex of 2 years, I did for a little while but then I regained my composure and said **** it. She was the one who called me and I gained my dignity and control back by being a man. Haven't heard from her since.

This is your second chance. You've got a chance to meet a lot of great women and really better your life. Look at it as graduating from high school or whatever. Remember the good times and move on forward.

-CT McMahon

 

[Truewest]

Don't try. Ignore her! That will in some way get her attention. I have and am currently where you are at. You are too convenient to her. Go find the hottest chick you can, and try to get on with your life. If she does not respect you know, even if you get her back, do you really want a girl who will treat you like that? Come on my man. I know how it feels, and it is easier to say than to do. Walk away with some dignity that you have left. I know it crushes your ego, because you feel rejected. The moment you let a women in the driver seat you're done. She wants a man. Act like one.

 

[Shiftkey]

Why would you want to be friends with someone like that? Move on.

 

[resilient]

To quote my good friend on this board Joe PMed me when I was going through your hard time a month ago:

trust me, being alone isn't as hard has having a b*tch in your life. when you hang on to a b*tch you're going to end up alone anyway - except it will probably be because she cheated on you and dumped your *ss.

better to get out of your own volition, versus being used, abused, f*cked and ch*cked.

Stay strong, run silent and deep. Keyser Soze her if you have to. Don't worry you'll come out on top again. A stronger man with a stronger shell. Women hate it when a man knows how to walk away from what harms him. They don't care if you love or hate them just as long as you FEEL something towards them. Just move on. Living well is truely the best revenge. Good luck!!
:rockon:

 

[backbreaker]

being friends, real life friends with ex's is possible, but not plausable.

I don't even talk to all but one of my ex's, and that's my last one.. I mean, I am civil with all of them, if I see them there is no beef, but I have no reason to keep the m in my life.

My last x and I still check up on each other from time to time.. no feelings there, she has a BF and I have a GF, we dont't alk about dating, but we get along and because we do we don't have a problem talking to each other, but even then it's not even close to regularly, maybe one time every two weeks, that's a strong maybe, more like one time a month