Trying so hard not to give up.

[Warrior74]

Everything has failed. I've had nearly all of my clients back out on this deal. My car has broken down. I'm sick. I'm overloaded on my day job and I got three tickets to pay and I'm flat broke and of course there are no women. I'm tired man. I am sick and tired of struggling. **** it. Still going to meet a new client today. Maybe I can salvage something. But I tell you, my heart ain't in it.

 

[Warrior74]

Well. Client cancelled the meeting. Doesn't need my services. I'm done. women. success. whatever. See you guys around, I'm tired of trying.

 

[BeDJ]

Have you tried volunteering or being an active member of an organization? Sometimes going a bit out of you way to help others can provide a rewarding sense of self-value and boost your mental well-being. It's easy to get stuck in a rut for a long time, please do one thing productive each day that your future self will thank you for. =]

 

[AttackFormation]

Do you go to the gym?

 

[guru1000]

Warrior, I got to tell you, you touch a soft spot in me. Maybe because I was in your position five years ago, but I didn't give up.

What if you changed your philosophy about life?

Life is not about enjoying its fruits, without its pains--the sacrifice. What if you adopted the philosophy that you are being tested to see from what type of substance you are bred? The goal, then, would not be to win, but to fight unrelentingly, and to rise every time you fall. Winning--a societal convention--is simply the byproduct of your efforts.

Here is why we suffer:

1. You must struggle to feel enough pain to change.
2. You must struggle to evolve.

This is life. We all have struggles; each and every one of us do.

• You are broke, so what.
• You have no gf or wife, and?
• You have a floundering business; great, pick yourself up and fight the waves of resistance.

Rise and soldier on. The destination is not riches, marriage, or a prospering business. The destination, simply, is your resilient ability to fight against insurmountable hurdles notwithstanding how difficult these impediments appear, and to never, never, never capitulate, irrespective of the circumstance. You fight to the end; you fight like a warrior. Is that not your name?

That, my friend, is life; the only life worth living. And when I die; it will be an honorable death, as I know--irrespective of my trivial "accomplishments"--that I have looked fate in the eye--a myriad times--and stated, "You are no boss of me."

 

[Teddy_Beer]

Warrior, I got to tell you, you touch a soft spot in me. Maybe because I was in your position five years ago, but I didn't give up.

What if you changed your philosophy about life?

Life is not about enjoying its fruits, without its pains--the sacrifice. What if you adopted the philosophy that you are being tested to see from what type of substance you are bred? The goal, then, would not be to win, but to fight unrelentingly, and to rise every time you fall. Winning--a societal convention--is simply the byproduct of your efforts.

Here is why we suffer:

1. You must struggle to feel enough pain to change.
2. You must struggle to evolve.

This is life. We all have struggles; each and every one of us do.

• You are broke, so what.
• You have no gf or wife, and?
• You have a floundering business; great, pick yourself up and fight the waves of resistance.

Rise and soldier on. The destination is not riches, marriage, or a prospering business. The destination, simply, is your resilient ability to fight against insurmountable hurdles notwithstanding how difficult these impediments appear, and to never, never, never capitulate, irrespective of the circumstance. You fight to the end; you fight like a warrior. Is that not your name?

That, my friend, is life; the only life worth living. And when I die; it will be an honorable death, as I know--irrespective of my trivial "accomplishments"--that I have looked fate in the eye--a myriad times--and stated, "You are no boss of me."

This post right here, has just made my "mental block" thread obsolete.

Muchas gracias, kind sir

 

[Desdinova]

Well. Client cancelled the meeting. Doesn't need my services. I'm done. women. success. whatever. See you guys around, I'm tired of trying.

One step at a time, dude.

Lemme tell you about my Christmas 2012

In September, my ex-wife got the ball rolling on our divorce. She asked for somewhere in the vicinity of $26,000 and was planning to move out of town with my son. I had to fork out the cash and hire a lawyer so I could fight to keep my kid, my house, and our lives intact.

I started selling a bunch of my 5hit to keep paying for the lawyer, and I began hunting a part-time job. My girlfriend was good at being supportive.... at least in the beginning.

After I had success in the courtroom, I got into a car accident on the way home. The front of my vehicle was pretty fvcked up.

I had no desire to put up a Christmas tree, but my kid begged me. I reluctantly put one up, solely to make him happy. I couldn't let him feel the hell that I was going through. God was it tough to put that tree up.

All my money was drained from paying for the lawyer and I had little cash to buy gifts for Christmas. I bought a couple of things for my girlfriend, and was able to get my kid some used and free toys. Unfortunately, some were broken and some were missing parts.

Two weeks before Christmas, my girlfriend ends our 1+ year relationship. There was nothing really wrong with our relationship other than her sister and parents pushing her to get rid of me. So she did. I went and returned the gifts I had bought her. I would have not bothered, but I really needed that extra money.

I got in contact with an old ex-girlfriend whom I figured would be lonely on Christmas. She had planned to cook us dinner on Christmas day, which was something positive I was looking forward to.

On Christmas eve, my furnace broke down. Winters here reach -35 degrees, so I scrambled to repair the furnace myself since I couldn't afford a $200+ repair bill at this time. I found the faulty part, and wired up something that simulated what the part did, and got the furnace up and running. I ordered a new part off the internet for $80 and put a rush on it since I had no clue how well my fix would hold up.

On Christmas day, the girl I was supposed to have dinner with cancelled and quit answering my text messages. I put on a war movie, laid on the couch, and bawled my fvcking eyes out for 2 hours. I was broke, heartbroken, my kid was playing with broken toys, my furnace was functioning on junk I found in the garage, and my vehicle was all fvcked up. I deserved to cry.

I eventually got my truck dealt with, and it was in the shop for a month. I was driving a red minivan during that time. The part for my furnace arrived and worked like a charm, I cut contact with that bytch who cancelled dinner, I was able to put myself back in the dating world at the end of January, but the heartbreak really took a toll on me. It fvcked me up for most of the year.

This past Christmas was good. I bought myself some stuff, my kid got all new toys, and it was a great Christmas. I'm not all heartbroken anymore, and I've been stuffing money away to get myself a new vehicle. Life is looking good now.

You can't give up, especially if you've got kids involved. They need their dad to be strong and a fighter. They need their dad to survive because they rely on him. They need to feel secure that dad is gonna look after their 5hit.

And if you don't have kids? Then you need to look after your own 5hit so you can survive.

When you get hit with a 5hitstorm, there's nothing wrong with falling down and even taking some time to lick your wounds. But you have to know that you need to get your ass back up and start fighting again, because licking your wounds for any lengthy period of time won't get anything accomplished.

Do what you gotta do in order to get yourself in the right frame of mind so you can eventually pick yourself back up and start fighting again. If that means hiding away for a couple of days doing nothing, then so be it. Just keep in mind that you can't do it forever.

Hope things turn around for you

 

[backbreaker]

i'm not going to give you any platitudes about success or any **** like that. That's useless at this point.

ASsuming that you want to get out of what you're in, make a list of the stuff you need to do and set up time lines for everything you want to do one after the other. in other words focus on one thing at a time.

that's the only way you're gonna do this. one thing at a time. pay your tickets off. get your rent caught up. get your website going, whatever i don't know exactly what you need to do but I don't need to.

Man, i get it. I really really get it. It's not even so much that you're struggling it's that you aren't being rewarded for trying. It's like, the more you do the further away you are from just being normal. Going on dates and having self confidence, wiht a girl you're actually attracted to. Being able to go out on a Saturday night and look sharp in a half decent car. Being able to take a half decent vacation. Being able to have real hobbies. **** that normal people take for granted that you haven't experienced in quite a while.


Going out to get something to eat and seeing avg ass guys with women that right now, you'd kill for because you haven't had a real avg woman in quite a while. not even about sex (for me at least) just real companionship. Being able to go to a movie theater not by yourself. I know man. it cuts deep. it hurts.

I was a bitter motherfvcker lol once I got a little money. People who have never done what you are doing, have no right to criticize someone who has for how it changed them. it's hell.

life is telling you to stop beating your head against the wall. the plan you have now somehow is flawed. come up with another plan. but don't give up.
when i get really really down in the dumps I watch new movies that i have not seen.

 

[Desdinova]

life is telling you to stop beating your head against the wall. the plan you have now somehow is flawed. come up with another plan. but don't give up.

Backbreaker is right on this point. If what you're currently doing isn't working, then you need to do something different. I ALWAYS keep that in my mind when I'm doing my job. It has made me much better at my job, and more efficient. It's also a good rule to apply to life, dating, and raising kids.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Warrior,


Many years ago, another great SoSuave poster named JOEKerr31 was having a similar bout with hopelessness. So I'm gonna say the same thing to you that I said to him back then.

"If you haven't already---get off the internet and reach out for the support of your friends, relatives, and associates that may be able to help you mentally, physically, materially, or spiritually. It's specifically during times like these that our real-life relationships can serve us best.

For me, the ROCK that keeps me standing during the darkest of times is my Spiritual beliefs. But unlike many, my spiritual beliefs are not the product of childhood training, traditional church indoctrination, OR “societal pressures"---but are the product of my conscious recognition of how LIVING BY THOSE BELIEFS have impacted my life over the years.


Whether you're a man of spiritual faith or not---you're STILL a man of faith, because EVERY man believes in SOMETHING. And it is our beliefs, core values, and/or codes of ethics that KEEPS us going---MOTIVATES and INSPIRES us to move forward in life---despite the obstacles we face.

So I would encourage you to continue to view your current situation through the eyes of whatever personalized form of FAITH that you subscribe to.

Also remember that HOPE is a byproduct of maintaining a viewpoint that sees through the clear lens of unlimited POSSIBILITY----as opposed to just squinting through the cloudy "peephole" of mere previously experienced PROBABILITY.

I would also remind you that:

Your PAST does not have to equal your FUTURE.

Count your blessings my man. Take some time to list AND APPRECIATE all the things that you usually take for granted------things that if you didn’t have them, your life would definitely be even more negatively impacted.

I have found that an attitude of GRATITUDE is a powerful weapon in overcoming a spirit of DEPRESSION.

Depression Field Report:

One Christmas, many years ago, after the death of my Grandmother (who raised me, who I took care of for many years due to her prolonged battle with illness), I was thinking in a similar fashion as you----NOT suicide, but definitely ambivalence over living or dying.

At the time, my life was filled with only the mundane. No women worth anything in my life, dealing with chronic, inexplicable health issues, working the most mundane of jobs, etc. You get the picture…Anyway, while I was deep into “hour three” of my self-pity party, I was distracted by the sound of laughter. Somebody on CNN was laughing like hell, almost hysterically so.

I turned the sound up-----it was CHRISTOPHER REEVE. Here he was, a quadriplegic, strapped to a machine, with a tube connected to his throat-----talking and chuckling about how much he was enjoying his day.

What the FUKK????

And here I was, with problems, and dealing with adversities that were nowhere NEAR as challenging as his must have been, YET, I was the one wallowing in my own self-magnified grief like a BIIITCH. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long after seeing that to snap the fukk out of it and get over my mutherfukkin’ self.

That’s the day I started purposely reminding myself to always try to have an attitude of gratitude. Sure, there are still dark times. I’m fighting my way through a NEW barrage of them as I’m writing this right now, but still----I MARCH ON.

Why?

Because my mindset now is that every day ABOVE ground is a “good” day-----if for no other reason, than just because another day alive is another chance to GET IT RIGHT.

One step forward from where you are, one minute away from where you are now, or one decision that you make from now, can make ALL the difference in your present mood.

The storms we face in life, the down times, and that little bit of fear that we face as we step from certainty into uncertainty is the price we pay for having our eyes OPENED.

Yes it's true, my friend.

Sometimes your eyes DO "hurt because you haven't used them before."

But there are ALSO times when your eyes hurt "because you've been staring too hard at the same ole' BAD SHYT for too damn long."

So for now...REST easy, soldier. For tomorrow is a new day...

With new challenges...

New obstacles...

New opportunities...

And YES...

...new VICTORIES."


----------------------------------------

Warrior,


As the other brothers here have already shared in this thread---many of us have been where you are (and may be unfortunately be heading our asses "back there" again). So you are far from being alone.

Depression, frustration, and a sense of futility are enemies that I'm TOO DAMN familiar with---both due to unfortunate personal experience AND due to my proximity and/or involvement in the lives of those people that I love and care about.

Your "current" story is SO familiar and common that I did a show about it years ago. If you ever feel up-to-it someday soon---I HIGHLY recommend that you (or ANYBODY going through hard times) listen to the message that I tried to convey during that show-----because I sincerely believe that it may help give you a different (but still very REALISTIC) outlook on your present circumstances:

Hardcore Hope for Lonely, Depressed, and Frustrated Men Everywhere


March on.


V.U.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm overloaded on my day job

You have two jobs? Most people I know don't even have one, myself included. It must be nice to get to leave the house and talk to other people, to have somewhere to go every day. I sure as hell don't have that.

Being happy with what you have has very little to do with how much you have. It's all in your head. If you offered anyone the chance to trade lives with you, the line of people would stretch out as far as you could see and disappear over the horizon. If you turned them down one at a time, the people in the back of the line would make babies fast enough so that the line never disappeared.

 

[BeDJ]

Warrior74, did you pick up a secondary source of income as a financial adviser?

One step at a time, dude.

Lemme tell you about my Christmas 2012

In September, my ex-wife got the ball rolling on our divorce. She asked for somewhere in the vicinity of $26,000 and was planning to move out of town with my son. I had to fork out the cash and hire a lawyer so I could fight to keep my kid, my house, and our lives intact.

I started selling a bunch of my 5hit to keep paying for the lawyer, and I began hunting a part-time job. My girlfriend was good at being supportive.... at least in the beginning.

After I had success in the courtroom, I got into a car accident on the way home. The front of my vehicle was pretty fvcked up.

I had no desire to put up a Christmas tree, but my kid begged me. I reluctantly put one up, solely to make him happy. I couldn't let him feel the hell that I was going through. God was it tough to put that tree up.

All my money was drained from paying for the lawyer and I had little cash to buy gifts for Christmas. I bought a couple of things for my girlfriend, and was able to get my kid some used and free toys. Unfortunately, some were broken and some were missing parts.

Two weeks before Christmas, my girlfriend ends our 1+ year relationship. There was nothing really wrong with our relationship other than her sister and parents pushing her to get rid of me. So she did. I went and returned the gifts I had bought her. I would have not bothered, but I really needed that extra money.

I got in contact with an old ex-girlfriend whom I figured would be lonely on Christmas. She had planned to cook us dinner on Christmas day, which was something positive I was looking forward to.

On Christmas eve, my furnace broke down. Winters here reach -35 degrees, so I scrambled to repair the furnace myself since I couldn't afford a $200+ repair bill at this time. I found the faulty part, and wired up something that simulated what the part did, and got the furnace up and running. I ordered a new part off the internet for $80 and put a rush on it since I had no clue how well my fix would hold up.

On Christmas day, the girl I was supposed to have dinner with cancelled and quit answering my text messages. I put on a war movie, laid on the couch, and bawled my fvcking eyes out for 2 hours. I was broke, heartbroken, my kid was playing with broken toys, my furnace was functioning on junk I found in the garage, and my vehicle was all fvcked up. I deserved to cry.

I eventually got my truck dealt with, and it was in the shop for a month. I was driving a red minivan during that time. The part for my furnace arrived and worked like a charm, I cut contact with that bytch who cancelled dinner, I was able to put myself back in the dating world at the end of January, but the heartbreak really took a toll on me. It fvcked me up for most of the year.

This past Christmas was good. I bought myself some stuff, my kid got all new toys, and it was a great Christmas. I'm not all heartbroken anymore, and I've been stuffing money away to get myself a new vehicle. Life is looking good now.

You can't give up, especially if you've got kids involved. They need their dad to be strong and a fighter. They need their dad to survive because they rely on him. They need to feel secure that dad is gonna look after their 5hit.

And if you don't have kids? Then you need to look after your own 5hit so you can survive.

When you get hit with a 5hitstorm, there's nothing wrong with falling down and even taking some time to lick your wounds. But you have to know that you need to get your ass back up and start fighting again, because licking your wounds for any lengthy period of time won't get anything accomplished.

Do what you gotta do in order to get yourself in the right frame of mind so you can eventually pick yourself back up and start fighting again. If that means hiding away for a couple of days doing nothing, then so be it. Just keep in mind that you can't do it forever.

Hope things turn around for you

Thanks for this story, Desdinova.

 

[Warrior74]

Yah. I read all that shyt. I listened to VUs shyt. Fvck all that shyt. Nearly 20 years of struggling. Apparently its not gonna change. Life has winners and losers man. Its the truth no dude wants to face. I've had it rubbed in my face for nearly 20 years. I know it. I've seen it, lived it. I work for the winners. You watch sports? Yeah? Then stop acting like it's not losers in life. Grow up.

Don't give up? Never give up? You know what competition is about? Winning and losing. For ever microsoft how many defunct software companies are out there? Nobody ever looks at the losers. Losers are to people as betas are to women. Invisible. They only see the winners, they only talk about winners. But there are way more losers than winners The lie that you are sold in this life is that you can be a winner. It's fvcking rare, there's also the lotto and jesus if you like fairy tales and long shots. If everyone was a winner, nobody would be. Only idiots keep playing a losing game.

I'm done. I've had every hope and dream in life crushed or go unfulfilled. I have nothing to look forward to. I have nothing to work for besides food, water and shelter. I can do a 9-5 and get that.

Family? Friends? Framily? Nah brah. Don't have any of that. People really don't give a shyt about you honestly. Even family. When it comes down to you or them, they choose themselves. This is life. Friends? Time sucking leeches. I've always been the friend who helps people when they are down. Not one of those fvckers ever helped me when it counted. Maybe one or two but they are half a world away or married with children now. I don't have friends here. I have people I don't hate and people I don't know.

I read somewhere that you have to have an unrealistic, near delusional belief in yourself. Life is too short not to have delusions of grandeur. Well guess what? A delusion with no evidence is insanity. I'm way to rational and logical for that. If that was the case I'd believe in god and governments, I have very few delusions.

Here's teh truth. If you are on this site bytching about women. You are a loser. Even you married guys. Sorry but it's true. If you are guru helping people, you are a loser. It's true. Have you ever seen a guru who didn't stink of loserdom? I've accepted the truth. Can you? Probably not. Good luck.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I have nothing to work for besides food, water and shelter. I can do a 9-5 and get that.

Well that must be nice. I can't. How sorry for you do you think people in a worse situation than you are? From that perspective, you would look like an ungrateful complainer. What makes you think you deserve to win the lottery of life? What makes you so special that you deserve better? You act like you're God's chosen one who has been denied your holy destiny of being a rich assh0le. boo-hoo, you're just a poor assh0le like the rest of us. Deal with it.

 

[guru1000]

1. Do you solicit 100,000 prospects (400 calls * 240 business days) a year to build your business?
   
2. Have you invested 70 hours workweeks over a five-year period into your business?
   
3. Do you even have a business plan, which outlines your stratagem?
   
4. Have you solicited 100+ investors to partner up with you as shareholders?

I guarantee you have done none of the above. You haven't even made one cold call. And yet you have the audacity to complain about your life.

Boohoo, I didn't get a free ride. You are not a loser; a loser tries and loses. Your halfhearted attempts do not equate to "trying." You are a piker; that is a small fish among an ocean of sharks.

Sorry, but that is the bitter truth.

 

[BeDJ]

1. Do you solicit 100,000 prospects (400 calls * 240 business days) a year to build your business?
2. Have you invested 70 hours workweeks over a five-year period into your business?
3. Do you even have a business plan, which outlines your stratagem?
4. Have you solicited 100+ investors to partner up with you as shareholders?

I guarantee you have done none of the above. You haven't even made one cold call. And yet you have the audacity to complain about your life.

Boohoo, I didn't get a free ride. You are a piker; that is a small fish among an ocean of sharks.

Sorry, but that is the bitter truth.

I like what you had to say earlier.

If you are making 400 calls a day, you are not a successful salesperson. ;-)

PS, those aren't solicited calls, you are SPAM.

 

[Warrior74]

1. Do you solicit 100,000 prospects (400 calls * 240 business days) a year to build your business?
   
2. Have you invested 70 hours workweeks over a five-year period into your business?
   
3. Do you even have a business plan, which outlines your stratagem?
   
4. Have you solicited 100+ investors to partner up with you as shareholders?

I guarantee you have done none of the above. You haven't even made one cold call. And yet you have the audacity to complain about your life.

Boohoo, I didn't get a free ride. You are not a loser; a loser tries and loses. Your halfhearted attempts do not equate to "trying." You are a piker; that is a small fish among an ocean of sharks.

Sorry, but that is the bitter truth.

It is. I just said I accepted it. What's YOUR point? Or do you just like agreeing with me?

 

[guru1000]

What's YOUR point?

You are not a loser; a loser tries and loses. Your halfhearted attempts do not equate to "trying."

Shame; your thoughts demonstrate you have potential.

 

[Desdinova]

Nearly 20 years of struggling. Apparently its not gonna change. Life has winners and losers man. Its the truth no dude wants to face. I've had it rubbed in my face for nearly 20 years. I know it. I've seen it, lived it.

I was a defined "loser" for the first 20 years of my life. I grew up in a religious cult, had Birthdays and Christmas taken away from me, spent my Saturdays peddling magazines at doors, spent every Tuesday evening, Thursday evening, and Sunday afternoon listening to boring religious discourse, got the 5hit kicked out of me at home, got the 5hit kicked out of me at school, and have the PTSD to show for it.

I don't consider myself a loser anymore. I consider myself a fighter.

Don't give up? Never give up? You know what competition is about? Winning and losing. For ever microsoft how many defunct software companies are out there? Nobody ever looks at the losers. Losers are to people as betas are to women. Invisible.

Is it all about money? I work a 9-5 job. I don't get paid an amazing amount of money, but I get paid enough to support myself. In fact, my job isn't 9-5. Some days it's 9-12, but I still get paid for a full day. This job gives me lots of "me" time, and that's what life is all about... having as much "me" time that I can get. I could slave my ass to build my own business, or I can pay for my 5hit and do the things I love while doing as little work as possible. And that's another thing... I don't hate my job, I love it! But I still want to spend as little time doing it as possible because I have more fun stuff that I could be doing.

That is the satisfaction of life - enjoying the time you have to do the things you want, and you don't need a lot of money to have that. Once my house is paid off, I'm going to hire a fvcking maid so I have even MORE time to do the things I want instead of cleaning the damn house.

Friends? Time sucking leeches. I've always been the friend who helps people when they are down. Not one of those fvckers ever helped me when it counted.

I hear that. Most of the friends who actually give me support (and not the financial kind) are women. They are much more loyal friends than men because they don't get pvssy whipped. Male friends are unreliable when they get a woman in their life, but women will generally say "fvck you" to their bf and spend time helping you pick up your spirits.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Just to show the other side of the coin - I'm a corporate lawyer, making over $180,000 a year (which is actually much less than I could be earning if I wanted to work harder) and am absolutely miserable with it. I wake up, dreading every day that I have to go in. If you're a loser then I'm no less of one. And I know a lot of lawyers who feel the same.

Edit: I made this post just before Midnight City posted his. I totally agree with him.

Also, I second the stuff said about male friends. I have them but I wouldn't count on a single one of them to be there if I really needed them. I had a best friend I thought was like a brother to me. Guy gets into his first serious relationship a few months ago. Barely heard from him since.