Try again after getting rejected possible? Someone did it?

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

based on my other thread, I want to ask you if trying again after a girl rejected you can ever succeed?

In my case, I was rejected after the third date, before everything was perfect and the connection was strong, she showed big interest. End of the third date I behaved weak, needy, jeleous and like a complete jerk by being rude to her while being drunk plus getting into a fight with some random dudes later.

After that she wasnt sure but we were still in contact and she opened up a little but turned my date-offer down finally and told me she doesnt want to date anymore. I wished her all the best and went NC.

I know that I should work on myself and I know that I should move on first. But I want to try one last time sometime in the future cause I think we had a great connection. I know many of you dont like the idea of trying again after rejection but isnt being a strong man also about being persistent and to not give up so early? I mean not in a desperate way. Im really sure she wont contact me ever again..

What do you think? How much time should pass and how should I contact her?

Would be happy about comments to my question even if im sure most people here will think it is a bad idea.

Regards
summersky

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Stay NC. From your own description it sounds like you ruined for her. When a woman loses her boner, that's the end of that. No getting it back. Next.

 

[Filter]

Take it as a learning experience. Why are you getting that drunk on dates? Why are you getting into random fights? You have bigger issues than simply losing this girl, no matter how great the connection.

Look, I've done both of these. Shown up for a date drunk as hell, got into a fight on a date... that was a bad time in my life. Both of those women? Gone for good. Your (and my) actions ruined it for ourselves.

Figure out the discrepancy in your behavior, stop acting like an *******, and move on.

 

[Arcturus]

Did this just happen or was this years ago? You can try again in 6 months to a year if you really have to, but it is almost always a bad idea. Has anyone done it? Sure many times, but the chances of it not working out are much much higher. You might also want to do some self reflection. The fact that you want to try again with this girl after all that happened, seems to indicate your mind is in an unhealthy place and that you are putting this girl on a pedestal from a place of scarcity.

 

[summersky]

Hi again,

I will work on my self of course. Please dont make a "work on yourself thread" out of it. I already got it, already working.
Sad thing is, I am a relaxed man and have my emotions under control usually. Alcohol gets the worst out of me and she saw it all.

Most people told me there can never be a chance under these circumstances. But what do I have to loose? I made a mistake and ruined something, what could become something good and of course I want to make up for it.

Arcturus: It happened almost 3 weeks ago, NC for like 6 days now. 6 months to a year? Isnt it a little too long? I know that in most cases it doesnt work out.

Would be happy to hear from you all!
Regards

 

[oOh Nasty]

Bro, your case is the one-itis version of that specific poster who thinks he's so ugly (even though he's not) and keeps rationalizing his way into getting more and more plastic surgery. I wouldn't say you're mentally ill like he is, but you're definitely a solid case of rationalizing and completely ignoring what everyone is telling you.

You've been told countless of times in your other threads what the deal is with this chick. Forget about it, please.

But what do I have to loose?

You're losing time. The more you keep investing into this girl, the longer it will take for you to get over her. You're losing parts of your life that you won't get back. I believe you've suffered enough to learn a good lesson. Anymore time spent suffering probably won't make that lesson anymore enlightening than it already is.

Please dont make a "work on yourself thread" out of it. I already got it, already working.
Sad thing is, I am a relaxed man and have my emotions under control usually.

It's not what you want to hear, but it's what's necessary. You've dug yourself in a deep ditch and you're trying to reconcile and make amends to yourself for your bad decisions, but it's not going to help you at all. The point of "working on yourself" is so that you can put your future first before your immediate need of her attention.

It's time for you to have a few ONS and spin plates like mad. I'll say it on behalf of everyone here: your chances with this girl while you're in a masculine and leading frame are dead. You might be able to beg your way back, but you'll end up just being a dog that she uses and tosses away for entertainment.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Do whatever you want with this chick but up your game on lose vs loose. /End old man rant

 

[sodbuster]

it's like last months supper. you could maybe eat it. But the chances it will work out for you are low. IF you'd never dated? Maybe. Since you HAVE..... not now..... maybe in a year or 2....

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Any woman who would take you back after rejecting you, you don't want. Trust me. There will be a reason for your rare second chance and the reason will not be a one that works in your favor. Billions of women out there, next this one.

 

[summersky]

Why did I know that your answers would be like that..
But what about persistence? Isnt being a real man also about get what you want even if there are hurdles?
I mean why should a man give up so fast...

 

[sharkbeat]

Ah it happened to all of us. The only way of getting her back is to NC and lose her. Spend your time on yourself, and pray that 6 months later you are in a much better place, and you bump into her again.

Women are finicky creatures, they want every date to be perfect, although they are far from perfect themselves.

 

[Rainman4707]

Yeah, I wouldn't get to drunk on dates to early in the courting phase maybe further down the line you can get drunk because she will know you better, still isn't a good idea to be to drunk round women. They take advantage. Don't worry about it to much though. These things happen. Learn from it. You'll get better with time. Keep improving. The only way is up.

I agree that the girl has dropped you. I think a year or two is far to long to wait though. If you want to try again, then go for it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Give it 2-3 months. Get some other females. They love it when they have competition.

 

[summersky]

Hi again, so im getting better slowly. Already talking to some girls and day by day getting over what happened with this girl. Some parts of my face are still feeling numb but things like that need some time to heal. I use my freetime and picked up on an old hobby I had..

Think about contacting this girl after one month or so. I know it will be difficult and I need a frame of steal.. Any tips? Thought I give her a short message to see how she will reply and then go from it..

 

[Rainman4707]

Hi again, so im getting better slowly. Already talking to some girls and day by day getting over what happened with this girl. Some parts of my face are still feeling numb but things like that need some time to heal. I use my freetime and picked up on an old hobby I had..

Think about contacting this girl after one month or so. I know it will be difficult and I need a frame of steal.. Any tips? Thought I give her a short message to see how she will reply and then go from it..

Once she has lost attraction for you, she will likely next you.

Don't try to hard with this one....if she's not interested, then she's not interested. Move on.