Trusting with her guy friends

[1-2-3]

MY gf of about a year seems to have more guy than girl friends. I know that if you can't trust someone then don't be with them. but when she talks to them and stuff it always seems to make me jealous and pull her away from them.

its not that i don't trust her; i have a hard time feeling 100% secure knowing what its like to be a guy and what these other guys might be up to or telling her.

is there anything i can do or anything i should say? usually, after thinking about it i start to feel better but it always ends up coming up again. anything i could even do to make her feel kinda the same as i do?

 

[icallug]

same thing here man, its like she acts more interested in them than she does with you right? i just dont let it get to me, and i always just hang out wiht my other friends who are girls and she gets so jealous. just like gettin back at her. she flirts sooooo much. so i just return the favour

 

[uniassign]

is there anything i can do or anything i should say?

Nothing. Anything you say or do in reaction to her situation will be perceived as insecurity.

It seems you are quite insecure anyway. You have to come from the frame that she is LUCKY to be with you, and that her socialising with her chump male friends should only highlight how good you are in comparison.

If you are not coming from that frame, she will smell it and eventually cheat on you.

anything i could even do to make her feel kinda the same as i do?

Improve your skills and go PU other chicks.

 

[Trapspringer]

This can be a bit complicated. There is a fine line being perceived as insecure and being a man and laying down the law and not being a push over. You don't want to take away her friends but you will want to draw some lines. For example, I would have something to say if she will be the only girl going out with the guys to get drunk.

She could just love the attention from them but desires your attention a lot more than any of them. Whatever you do, you don't want her to get the "my boyfriend doesn't care" attitude. This often leads to makeouts that doesn't involve the boyfriend.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't be a chump - never let your woman be alone with guys - only when you are present!! Period!! Tell her to blow if she doen't comply! Demand respect or you will get none. You shoild have did this the first day you saw this. Put her in her place,
you'll see where her loyalty lies - if she wants to see them on her own - say "you can be on your own!!! You need balls to do this and accept losing her. It bothers you for a reason, it's because, "YOU"RE A MAN!!!!! Now act like one!!

 

[trajhenkhet]

If she is just someone you see for fun, don't worry about it. If its supposed to be serious, then let her know the score. My opinion on this is to let it ride and start seeing multiple ladies but hey, to each their own.

 

[Trapspringer]

PuertoRican_Lover, said it better. I was a bit too PC with mine.

 

[DJnomore]

Originally posted by 1-2-3
MY gf of about a year seems to have more guy than girl friends. I know that if you can't trust someone then don't be with them. but when she talks to them and stuff it always seems to make me jealous and pull her away from them.

Ever consider that this is exactly why she does it?

Some women flirt with other guys to get you to show you are jealous which they see as being interested.

I like the suggestion to just join in the conversation and gently hold her hand. I am guessing they all know you with her but she is probably wanting more from you if she is flirting with them in front of you.

Women who cheat do it behind your back and don't flirt with the guy in front of you.

 

[honeyshark]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Don't be a chump - never let your woman be alone with guys - only when you are present!! Period!! Tell her to blow if she doen't comply! Demand respect or you will get none.

Respectfully, I don't agree. It is ridiculous to demand that a girlfriend never be alone with guys except when you are present. It screams insecurity.

For 1-2-3, remember it takes two people to cheat. There are two possibilities, 1) you are jealous and insecure, or 2) you have a suspicion that she not faithful and you are right. Ask yourself which scenario you are in, and react accordingly.

Listen to DJnomore, he knows what he is talking about.

Peace.

 

[jbbrain]

its really that simple-Listen to honeyshark

When you decide which of the 2 options you subscribe to, go a step further and ask yourself why.

 

[CLOONEY]

Re: Re: Trusting with her guy friends

Originally posted by DJnomore
Ever consider that this is exactly why she does it?

Some women flirt with other guys to get you to show you are jealous which they see as being interested.

I like the suggestion to just join in the conversation and gently hold her hand. I am guessing they all know you with her but she is probably wanting more from you if she is flirting with them in front of you.

Women who cheat do it behind your back and don't flirt with the guy in front of you.

Hit the nail on the head, girls who cheat do not flirt with the guy infront of you. This is just her personality. If you can accept it, then from now on shutup. If you cant accept it, you are with the wrong girl. Thats all that needs to be said.

 

[Trapspringer]

This is one of those topics that will continue to come up around here. Yes, at this point, there really isn't much you can do as far as laying down the law because you have let this happened for too long.

I completely agree with DJnomore last statement even though two recent cases I can think of where this wasn't true just keeps popping up in my head. But in most cases, it is true. Lets clarify one thing---there is an difference between the guy that screams insecurity and a man who won't accept BS and takes control of a situation. a demonstartion of the two.

Scenario 1:

Girl: I am about to go and hang out with my guy friends at the local bar.

Woosy boy: Baby, I don't feel right with you going to the bar with abunch of guys when I am not around. I wouldn't do the same to you with abunch of girls

Girl: Don't be so insecure. You know I love you. Bye!

[Goes off and get drunk and who knows what else while wearing your pants]


Scenario Two


Girl: I am about to go and hang out with my guy friends at the local bar.


The Sheriff: Over my dead f*cking body!

Girl: Don't be so insecure. You know I love you. Bye!


The Sheriff: Don't come back and I mean it!


While both guys can be cheated on, only the Sheriff will wear his own pants and keep women around that respects him.


We all know guys and girls who are The Sheriffs. The guy dating the Sheriff will be known as "whipped" while the girl dating the Sheriff will be known as "sprung." In either case, the Sheriff tends to be more sexually attractive than their counterparts and they won't be taking BS.

Just observe relationships around you. They provide lots of information and advice. You will see that a situation such as this is much more complex than simple insecurity issue which can be very black and white.

How many guys and girls you do PERSONALLY know that frequently allow their partners to be alone with a group of the opposite sex? Just ask them. By them, I mean the every day people you socialize with. I guarantee you that you realize that you are not the minority here.

 

[THA REALNESS]

Don't trust anyone. Tell her you don't like her having guy(gay azz hell)freinds if she doesn't like it ..hit her.




One.

BanME!

 

[GropeDope]

Bro..just make sure you F*CK THE SH*T OUT OF HER and I guarantee you won't have anything to worry about with her being around the guy friends. But when I say **** THE **** OUT OF HER I'm talking about banging her so friggin well that when you're done screwin, she's crying over how good it was. Sex for an hour + giving her multiple orgasms = tears of "hapPENIS" in her eyes afterwards. Also, as an added security measure, go down on her all the time..even better if you surprise her at random times and go muff diving. If you do all of this (and do it well), then whenever she's chilling with all those males friends of hers, the only thing they'll be doing to her is causing her to wish she was with you.

 

[GropeDope]

I thought I read that you have been going out for ONE MONTH not ONE YEAR. Damn man. Maybe it's all a sign then. Maybe you should end it if you're starting to have doubts about trust. Relationships aren't **** without trust. It's perfectly normal for you to feel this way, after a year and all. Shiyt..I mean, your **** is probably better at counting sheep than you are by now (after being in that same old snatch for 12 months). It's probably just tired of it and been sending messages to your testostorne and hormones (while you weren't paying attention) to start making you feel angry and insecure about her. Yea..blame it all on good ol mr ****. He's an easy scapegoat for everyone. Seriously though....you've been going out for A YEAR and never mentioned anything to her about you having problems with her being around male friends. So there's probably nothing you're going to be able to say or do about it by now that will make her stop. If it's something brand new she just started doing, then it probably means she's keeping her post-breakup options open.

 

[dietzcoi]

Going out with all male friends is showing you serious disrespect. Will she be doing that after she is married? I think not. You need to lay down the law or dump her. Stand up now!

I cannot recall ever hanging out with a group of guys and one girl who was a girlfriend of some other guy not in our group. That would have been very strange to me. Be assured in this case one or more of my friends would have been trying to get with the girl, absent boyfriend or not.

The whole idea is stupid. Do not trust a woman who cannot find her own women friends. Very odd.

You had better take action and save yourself from pain later on.

Dietzcoi

 

[squirrels]

Sheesh. Go ahead and lay the law down for her...tell her you don't want her to ever be within 50' of another male again or else...or else you'll scream and cry about it some more.

Just don't even worry about it. Let her do whatever she wants. First wind you get of cheating, cut her loose, no excuses, no second chances.

There's something wrong when all of a girl's friends are guys...that's a red flag there. And you know that at least half, if not all of them, are trying to get in her pants one way or another. Whether she's letting them in, that's another story.

Keep this one around while you look for a normal girl...date her, bang her, and make sure you're always gaming other women, so she knows that if she slips out of line and decides to actually screw with one of these supplicators, she'll be replaced so fast it'll make her head spin.

Maybe YOU should go out with a bunch of YOUR girl "friends" and see how she feels about it.

Always remember: you keep her around because it's enjoyable for you to do so...you don't NEED to make ANYTHING "work," because she can be replaced at any time.

 

[dietzcoi]

Squirrels

Despite your sarcastic first sentence, you are giving good advice.

I agree with you... something is wrong with a girl who has to hang around with a bunch of male supplicators instead of other girls.

Dietzcoi

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Squirrels

Despite your sarcastic first sentence, you are giving good advice.

I agree with you... something is wrong with a girl who has to hang around with a bunch of male supplicators instead of other girls.

Dietzcoi

Then again, there are those girls who HAVE female friends, but also have the cast of AFC supplicators hanging out.

These guys all feel like there's some "list" and their goal is to be friends with the girl until they make it to the top of the "list." Then as soon as she sheds her current boyfriend (you), they feel like, because they've waited in line, it's their "turn."

Then they get all confused and disheartened when she goes and finds another guy who wasn't even on the "list."

The truth is, the "list" is the list of guys who are friend-zoned.

 

[Rondavu]

I went out with a girl that had a "Guy" friend. He was a big dork and no threat to my position. He wanted to bang her though so that's all that really mattered. The problem wasn't that she wouldn't cheat on me. I knew she wouldn't. The problem was that she would sit on his lap playfully at a bar oblivious to his intentions while he was getting a woody. The problem was that his intentions were different than hers and I knew it. The problem was that she didn't know it. I told her straight out that I had a real problem with her hanging out with a guy friend that wants to bang her. She said I was being silly. A week later he secretly handed her a love letter and she had to apologize to me because she honestly had no idea he wanted to bang her.

Look bro. The real issue is the fact that women even think they CAN have guys as friends. Guys want one thing. You know it, and I know it. While your girl is waltzing around hanging out with her "guy" friends as she calls them, she's thinking it's like an episode of friends and it's just a fabulous plutonic world. You and I know it's not. It's more likely closer to an episode of the real world. Any guy hanging out with an at least half attractive girl, sacrificing his time, will and most times aspires to bang her. It's that simple. Given that fact, I will never ever allow a girlfriend of mine to hang out with a bunch of dudes who wanna pound her from behind while she acts oblivious to the real intentions at play. Tell her to wake up and smell the testosterone.