Trust

[vlf445]

I just finished reading a thread on reddit about cheating girlfriends/boyfriends and everyone's experiences, and god d@mn that was depressing. After reading it, I got a little introspective and realized that I only really trust 3 people in my life. And by trust, I mean having complete faith in their integrity; these 3 people really have my best interests at heart, and would not do anything against those interests for their own selfish gains, nor would they jeopardize our relationship for selfish reasons. It frightens me a little that I only have this connection with 3 people (my girlfriend is not included), and I know that I was not like this a few years ago.

Since I only know my own perspective, I'm starting to wonder if this is normal, or if I have developed some trust issues. A lot of my trust in women in monogamous relationships has dissolved from what I have a learned from this site, but I also see many of my friends/acquaintances are all doing their own thing, with little regard or care to the relationships they have with people around them. Perhaps this is just part of growing up, and I'm having trouble adjusting to the less than perfect world I'm beginning to see, or maybe I'm developing a strong sense of paranoia?

I'd like to hear the perspectives of others in the community on how you guys view trust, where you place their trust and why, and whether or not you feel as though you can really fully trust a girlfriend or other friends. It would be awesome if you all could shed some light on whether I have some issues I need to resolve, or if I am just starting to see things for what they are. Thanks guys

 

[Cheeks]

The way I see it, there are two kinds of people you can trust: fathers and brothers.

I could never really trust a woman, not even my own mother (though in my case my mother actually is a lying psychotic BPD *****).

 

[Boilermaker]

quality and trustworthy people are very hard to come by. But they can just as well be women.

There's nothing special about being a man that makes people more reliable, in my experience ( maybe due to my having interacted with mostly men in "friendship"s) men can even be more insinuating and less dependable.

People are driven by the same motives, money, and a circumstantial edge, competition, and they all tell the same lies.

It's sad, but "being normal" and "innocent" can make a person very susceptible to abuse by others.

That's why a proper DJ foundation is not only useful in dealing with women, but also it is useful from a larger perspective, in dealing with life and its perils.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Vif,
Benjamin Franklin had it right,to paraphrase:"There are only three things you can trust on this Earth,an Old Lover,an Older Dog and ready cash at the Bank"...He had by repute,Children with 14 different Mistresses...His ideas on the charms of an older Women are still one of my guiding lights.

 

[Desdinova]

The only people I really trust in my life are me, my brother, and my best friend. Everyone else I know has fvcked me over in some way, shape, or form.

 

[backbreaker]

what i have learned in my short time on earth here, is that it's not so much that you can 't trust people, but that most people start off trusting everyone, or better stated, adding trust to someone who has other features/traits you want (i.e trusting a woman, simply because she's hot and good in bed), rather than making someone earn trust.

Generally speaking, you know who you can trust if you sit back and obbserve people for a while. The problem lies in taking your emotions, your feelings and just handing them to someone because they have good poon.

I trust anyone who earns my trust, rather it be male or female. I go into every relationship with a person, rather it be male or female, with 0 expecations of what I think they should be, and make them prove to me little by little who they are.

 

[Nutz]

I just finished reading a thread on reddit

Link to thread?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Trust is always earned and when it comes to a healthy relationship:

if you don't have trust, you don't have anything.

 

[DJDamage]

I think you can break down trust into levels of trust, from 0 to 100%. Some people you can trust more and some less depending on the levels of trust you build with them over the years.

Even the people closest to you, there is no way you can trust them 100% even if their intentions can be good they might conflict with your interests. When you meet a woman for example, you realise pretty quickly that if things go well she probably has a long term agenda for you+her (marriage/kids) and she will try to convince/manipulate you that this can be benefiting for you as well.

This is especially true when marriage goes sour, the woman you have loved and trusted is now looking out for number 1.

As a matter of fact, a person cannot even trust himself sometimes to make the right decision.