Trust what a girl says about abortion?

[aznflexxx]

So if your ex-gf told you she got an abortion but doens't want to talk to you or see you ever again, do you trust her that she got it? I am pretty sure she got it but I am not 100% sure, and the little doubt could come back to haunt me in the future. What would any of you guys do, just believe her and go on with your life? If not, what could you do to make sure she got it, keeping in mind she doesn't pick up any calls or want to see you. Seems a little off to me because she does not even want to be friends, I know I said some nasty things to her but I dunno that it warranted never speaking to me ever again, which is why there is the little doubt that she might be tryin to keep it an not tell me, or am i paranoid.

Thanks

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

She's probably just really upset right now, and while she said she doesn't want to talk to you ever again; she more than likely will, after quite a bit of time.

Do you trust her--that's up to you, but I know that I would have to respect her opinion and leave the ball in her court (even though that goes against all the 'rules'. But, these so-called rules are meant more as a guide.

Another option, is that after a few months, you could contact her, or try, and ask her if you can see your baby. If she hesitates, and says no, then she probably lied to you. Beware, though, because that kind of thing is tough for girls--a friend of mine several years ago got one, and she said it was the most difficult decision she had ever had to make, and while she didn't regret the entire thing, she wished that she had never gone through with it.

So, if you do ask a question like that, be prepared for a b!+ch session, or a slap in the face, depending on how you contact her.

Option three is just to leave the he11 alone. Personally, I don't know which option I would go with, but there you go.

 

[aznflexxx]

thanks u laid out the options very clearly, i knew it beforehand i had very little power though heh. Nobody else has any thoughts on this? guess not a lotta ppl go through this situation then.

Also, if anyone has been through this process, I was wondering if you could tell me how this sounds, she said she was going to get it done and I got her to talk to me on the phone finally and i asked her about it but all she said was that it was done and she doens't want to talk about it ever. However, I found out that she has a OB/Gyn appointment a week after the so called date she told me she got it done, she also has another ob/gyn appoitment a week and a half after the 2nd appoitnment. Does this sound right for an abortion process? Thanks in advance to anyone that can help me out with this.

 

[aznflexxx]

oo yea, forgot to add that for the date she told me she got the abortion, she was 5 weeks pregnant, so the appointment a week after, she woulda been 6 weeks pregnant, and so on. I did not know if she had an appointment when she was 5 weeks pregnant though, I only knew that she told me she was going to get it, and that she didn't go to work that day, that is all. I know forsure that she had an appointment when she was 6 weeks pregnant though and the one 1.5 weeks after that one.

 

[DisobeyThePope]

second only to the three second rule is the all important ask to see the fetus rule

 

[DarkLight]

Yo...

I been through this, pretty much w. my Xgf. Sh!t was not fun... aka... hell.

Let me break it down for you... as it was for me, and my experience. The reason why she could totally be cutting you off, w. no interest to see/talk to you is cause...

Abortion is not a fvckin fun thing for chikx.

Its shameful, theres guilt, its painful (emotionally/physically) the workx bro. And she's really not tryin to consort w. the one that half caused this. She probably feels mad shame, guilt, and just bad about this entire experience. And doesn't want to rehash it, through you being a reminder of all this.

On top of that... theres also the thing that, now she knows unequivacly that your not interested in having a baby w. her. And that my friend, hits something in the core of a woman. She knows there is very little potential for a future with you now. And it doesn't even matter if thats how your feeling now about it, and maybe would consider later having a baby w. her... or even if she didn't want the baby at this moment also. Doesn't matter... she knows that the ultimate togetherness of you 2 is fruitless... for the time being. Thus no future!

And on top of that... your only a reminder of this horrible very emotional experience. So for all these reasons... thats prob. why she wants nothing to do with you.

Women I have noticed are not like men, in that they don't deal with things head on. They're like ostriches. They just want to bury their head in the sand, and forget about the lion running at them. They just want to move on, forget about, turn away, etc. So this is her perfectly normal woman response, to what you all are going through.

The best advice I can give you... (and I've been here)

Is to man up, and get a hold of her. Talk to her, and try to see her in person, and tell her you'll be there for her through all of this. Be fvckin hero for her through all of this. Even if the relationship is over... Be a man, and help her through this time/experience. Straight up.

And I don't give a fvck what people have to say on this site about that advice. This isn't about DJ'ing in a situation like this. Its about being a man, and owning your actions and the results they create. So man up, and be there for your woman (x, or whatever) and be there for her.

At the same time, you'll find out if she did actually go through w. it. So your doing the right thing, and you get your own self-interest fulfilled through finding out. But don't just chump it w. her, just to find out. Own up, be a good man... and then walk away in peace.

She'll get over the emotions, etc. of it soon enough. And you'll be cleared in her eyes, all the while walking that much taller as a man.

Thats all I can say homey... its a tough experience all around, just got to face it like anything like that w. heart, and keep it real.


SuaveOn'
-Darklight-

 

[MightyMate]

Its really hard to say. You have to see results..

 

[Create Reality]

Cut your losses. Keep it baby-free next time and you'll never have to worry about that money again.

 

[aznflexxx]

thanks darklight that helped. The thing is, we talked about it during our relationship that if she ever got pregnant she would abort, cuz she is a lot older than I am, I am 21 an still in college with no job, so obviously I am not in a great position to help raise a child. She just said she is more emotional now that she was pregnant or is pregnant and had thoughts of keeping it. I want to contact her and just be there to support her or help her emotionally but like I said shes being the most stubborn b**** about this situation. I send emails, call her, send numerous texts saying how im sorry and just want to talk, etc. but she just wont do it. I did finally get her on the phone but she does not want to meet. I even went to her place an caught her in person before, she was surprised and told me that I wasn't respecting her decision that she wanted to be left alone. I told her she wasn't respecting me in that I need to know what is going on with the kid, to which she replied, "not your problem, I don't care how you feel, you don't always get what you want", basically saying that I am selfish for not leaving her alone. It was a little weird because it almost seemed like she was trying her hardest to be mad at me, becuase when I tried to joke with her she laughed, but quickly composed herself each time and brought up an issue to argue about, finally telling me that she doesn't need to tell me sh*t and ran away from me. I do miss her but right now all I care about is knowing wats up with the kid. She was smoking the last time i saw her though, telling me that shes definately going to get the abortion, but how can u ever 100% trust a woman. So I should probably make some more surprise visits later on to see if her belly has grown is what Im thinking, heh... dammit hate this situation.