true story about being a challenge

[indiorunner]

Ok, about a year and whatever ago, I ran track and I didn't have a care in the world, not women, not money, not anything...then I bump into this 10 girl(that seemed to find my wits charming) and I tell her up front that I don't want a relationship or anything(cuz my full attention was at training for the fall cross country season)...so then she pursues me more and more. She begs me to come to her b-party, I decline giving some excuse. You know what she said? "you're the first guy who hasn't pursued me like all my exs."
Then she emails me, talks about me to her friends and before you know it we're makin' out in her house. Then I tell her we can only be a fling for the summer...first she is very upset and argumentative, but she then writes back telling me if that's all I can give, then she'll take it, that I am so "sweet and caring" and blah, blah. She spent the whole summer trying to convince me to make us more than a fling.
Take notes...I was a challenge without even knowing it. But I became far less of a challenge as I gave in. I saw her more often in the summer (every single weekend, and I ditched my other friends' plans for her) and I NEVER TRAINED FOR THE TEAM IN THE FALL LIKE I WANTED TO. I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE TEAM CUZ I WAS PUTTING A LOT OF TIME INTO THIS GIRL. She wanted me to stop running and I did, for a while. (more evidence of being whipped)
After a while, I saw a different side of her, the angry b#tchy side. Don't get me wrong, she normally was a very nice girl and that's the reason I thought I had to become super nice and treat her well and come to her every whim. Well, eventually she gave me the boot and I was devastated...I hadn't run in months, I was off the team, and my grades were horrible.
She later told me that the "spark" was gone. I had her LAST on my priorities when I first met her. For some strange reason, this made her want me more. She would write me these huge emails about how she missed me and blah blah.

Anyway, I am back to running now, grades are better, and after reading some of the stuff on here, way more understanding when it comes to women.
I had lost control of my life to a girl and I am just tellin' ya even the nicest of girls will pull the plug on you if you don't keep her guessing and leave her wanting more.
The way you do that is simple...just keep doing whatever you were doing before you met her...sports..anything.DON'T EVER GIVE IT UP FOR HER! That'll show her that even if she dumps you, you are still happy and you wouldn't give a two-bit damn because you're occupied with your own life.

-true story!

 

[AlfredB18]

Originally posted by indiorunner:
I had lost control of my life to a girl

Just that one snippet made my shiver like never before....


Thank the lord that you extracted your head from her rear end!

 

[Don the Legend]

Good write up. Thanks for the tip. Examples like yours helps more people than you know.

BTW. What is your best time on a mile?

Legend

 

[Neophyte]

Well this is certainly a number one experience that must be stated in the DJB post.

Excellent tip indiorunner!!

You are right, I'll never give up the things I like for a girl!

Cya,
Neo

------------------
Don't let the Matrix control reality, take control of your own life starting now!
Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined!

THE DJ BIBLE

 

[indiorunner]

My best mile was 4:40..but that was in training. I had to run a 16:30 5k to make the team in the fall and I was soo close..but, after I met this runstopper(the evil witch), I could barely run 5:40 and I had gained weight. Now I am getting back in shape and hopefully in time to run a marathon in the fall and I am rediscovering why it was that I loved to run...

Everyone has their own dreams...to get a good job...to be this or that. You have to realize no dream is too far fetched. When you start working towards that goal, it will show in your actions/behavior/confidence level and that's exactly what women will pick up on. It will show very clearly that you're not just an average Joe with hormones trying to hit on every girl that passes by.

Another thing many guys forget to do is to be the best man all around. You can't rely solely on goals alone..you have to still take care of yourself physically..dress well, workout,etc...no woman wants a bum. You walk into any place dressed to kill, I'll guarantee you girls WILL take notice. You have won half the battle already. Once they get to know the real you, with all you have to offer...you will be attracting all the right females. The BEST part is they can brag about you to their friends. Something they can't do if you're still in the bum phase.

"Hey guys, I met this great guy, he is a janitor at the local highschool and he likes to bowl and he has this lovely beard and hair on his back, and that lovely beer belly."

"Hey guys, I met this great guy, he is a consultant for AOL and he travles all over the world. He speaks 5 languages! He looks so cute in that suit he wears...blah blah"

which one would you rather be like?

 

[Rico]

Great story indiorunner! This has to be probably the best "real life" story (with a moral all DJ's should know) I've read on this site. Being a challenge is the number one thing in sustaining a relationship. If you remember one thing in life, let that thing be to live life the way that makes you happiest, and not worry about what other people think.

A few months ago, I had a relationship with this girl. At first she was giving me a little crap because I was a freshman (in college) and she was a senior. Anyway I'm a fairly popular guy in college and we both went to the cafeteria during "rush hour." All you college peeps know what I'm talking about. Anyway, she saw that I was a sought after dude (plus I acted as if I really didn't care what she thought) and she literally jumped my nuts later that night. This girl saw that I was not like "all the rest of the guys" (like indiorunner's girl said) because I wasn't desperate for her at all. I had other options and I knew it. This translated to the girl so I was a hot commodity. However as we started progressing...I became less and less of a challenge. We all know what happens from there, but the moral is the same. In life we like thousands of women. If we take the initiative and let a girl know we're interested (but...the world won't end if she's not interested back) I guarantee that everyone of us will be talking about how we can't get all these girls off our backs. Life life dudes! Don't worry about women...they're everywhere and don't ever be afraid of them either. Just do what you do no matter what. No chick is worth your sanity!

 

[SanMiguel]

Excellent post!!!

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"Don't think you are. You KNOW you are." -- Morpheus

 

[Champ]

I feel your pain indiorunner. I too gave up a passion for a girl. I played baseball all through school and was an All-American centerfielder/catcher. I had scholarships to several excellent universities, but being whipped I let the opportunity slip away.

Now my senior year in college, I ended up missing one year of eligibility, lost the full ride scholarship, but managed to get on the team and by the end of my sophomore year I finally got to start. It's ashame we (South Carolina) didn't make it to the CWS. We lost a close battle with Stanford.

Keep your head up and don't let it get you down. You will bounce back and be more psyched about running, as I was, and probably even have more success. Good luck. God speed!

Champ

 

[Don the Legend]

Indio,

4:40!!! Damn!! That's fast. My alltime best was 6:30 and that was 16 years ago in highschool.

Congratulations in getting back to what is important in your life. Thanks again for posting your experience.

All the best,,

Legend

 

[Neophyte]

~BuMp~

 

[Neophyte]

-bump-

 

[Amlothi]

Originally posted by indiorunner:

"Hey guys, I met this great guy, he is a janitor at the local highschool and he likes to bowl and he has this lovely beard and hair on his back, and that lovely beer belly."

"Hey guys, I met this great guy, he is a consultant for AOL and he travles all over the world. He speaks 5 languages! He looks so cute in that suit he wears...blah blah"

which one would you rather be like?

I'd rather be an janitor than work for a fvcka$$ company like AOL.

But a great post. This is one of those "been there done that" moments

 

[Man Of Adventure]

Its a lesson I better learn now. Dont give yourself up to a girl...and remember to keep a challenge nomatter what.

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Stop pursuing, and make them be on the chase.-MOA

 

[Squy]

so true so true, challenge is it. I've had a couple experiences related to this subject. So i can testify this is for real.

 

[shrooming4fun]

anyone else have this happen to them.....i want to know if the ltr is over, and you start being a challange again, does the girl come back to ya?

aim=shrooming4fun
email=badbondith@hotmail.com

 

[hitop]

that was very well stated and lends to the fact that women are ONLY part of the equation and not the WHOLE equation. Amen.

 

[jakeyboy]

wow. this post truly reflects my situation not too long ago... i had the exelling grades and there was this HB9 pursuing me... she was so infatuated. but i told her i didnt want a relationship because i needed to concentrate on my final year exam. so i began to ignore her and she got so frustrated, kept calling me and all... rubbing shoulders with me in the halls until finally i asked her out. she practically pounced on me on the first date and we made out in my car and a few days later, we were back at her house doing some serious heavy petting... since things had already accelerated to this stage, i decided to pursue a relship with her. she made me go out with her so often i neglected much of my studies and my grades dropped like hell.
but soon i realized she was slowly drifting away from me and then out of the blue one day, she jsut told me that she lost feelings fr me, and we could not go on... i was devastated... well, glad we connected in the same way in our posts! learn from our AFC mistakes and always come across as a challenge!

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Neophyte
Well this is certainly a number one experience that must be stated in the DJB post.

Excellent tip indiorunner!!

You are right, I'll never give up the things I like for a girl!

Cya,
Neo

------------------
Don't let the Matrix control reality, take control of your own life starting now!
Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined!

THE DJ BIBLE

Good man. At one time, I was quite an accomplished piano player. I gave up my life's passion for a woman. Never, ever, will I do that again.

 

[LADawg49]

Yall are right.. Always be a challenge to women cause if u aren't , they'll walk over you, get tired of you and kick you to the curb. I been kickin it with this girl for 3 months plus but I am still continuin to be a challenge and wont give up any of my intersts for her.. You all are rite.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Brak86
yea but im always worried that if i make myself a challenge or refuse to show a lot of interest, the girl will just move on to another guy and i just missed my precious opportunity to bag a girl.

This is obviously the biggest concern. I also feel the same way, because to me, being a challenge seems like it can just get tiring after a while. However, I guess being a challenge is not necessarily not showing a lot of interest, but instead making sure that you are not stopping everything in your life just to be with this girl. If you do that, then you are probably seen as needy and girls hate that.