Trouble escalating after first kiss

[Matt Rogers]

OK so Im dating this girl and having trouble escalating things. We've had three dates by now and Im not getting very far. She is just very passive. I've got some decent kino in and she seems to enjoy it. Stuff like holding her hands in mine across a table in a bar while talking, playing with her hair, resting my hand a little too long on her thigh, a bit of handholding while walking. But when I break contact I cannot seem to get her touching me back like most girls who like me do. I kissed her on the lips goodnight at the end of our second date and she made no attempt to turn her head or anything and afterwards smiled at me real big and said goodnight.

But on our third date I just failed to get anywhere. The problem is she talks all the time and when she is not talking she is asking me questions. Im a good listener and can draw people out and do enjoy listening to her but at the same time I am attracted to her and want to get physical sooner rather than later.

Even when Im kinoing her she seems not to notice and continues chatting. And there are none of the silences in the conversation or "come hither" looks which give me an opening to kiss her and start making out.

It seems kinda rude to interrupt her when she is talking by kissing her so Im looking for a way to create a situation where we move beyond conversation and start doing some extended kissing and making out.

Maybe she is just not that interested which is why she isn't giving me opportunities to kiss her. Or maybe this is just her personality. Or maybe Im going about things the wrong way by taking her to dinner and to bars where she has the opportunity to talk all the time.

What would you suggest for a fourth date and how should I go about things differently?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know if this fits into your personal style (as she sees you) but if it doesn't don't do it because it'll freak her out more. If we are standing while kissing, I have looked into a woman's eyes and literally taken her hands and put them on a specific area of my body. No not there, but somewhere below my waist (hips, thigh, butt). They get the hint right away but then again I don't usually sarge passive women.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Hmm not sure that would work with her.

I think it is combination of passivity and moderate interest. Most of the girls I date are forward and have high interest, which makes it seriously easy for me and after kiss them and they figure Im into them they throw themselves at me. The others have such low interest that I do not make it past the first date or second date.

So not really sure how to proceed or what to suggest for the next date. First date we had a drink, second date we went to a gig, and third date we did dinner and drinks. I really want to avoid another date where all she does is talk at me.

 

[woods]

Sounds like a cantidate for a movie date. She cant talk too much there.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I thought about that.

Ive not had a huge amount of success in the past with movie dates. Although it is a good opportunity to get some kino in (putting my arm round her and resting my hand on her knee and holding hands) most girls seem to want to watch the movie rather than make-out which I really want to do to move things along a bit.

 

[2Cool]

At this point just kiss her gently on the cheek while she's talking. Be smooth about it, pick your moment right, and just do it. One of a few things will happen. She'll shut up and want more, or she'll shut up for a moment and wonder just what happened and be scared off, or she'll keep talking.

Ms. lady will know where you stand and where you expect things to go. If she isn't willing to travel with you on the romance path, then put her into friend zone, and don't worry about it. You apparently are not so hideously ugly that you can't get a girl to go out in public, so you can find another woman, if you have to.

 

[Matt Rogers]

That sounds like an ace plan 2Cool. When you say pick the moment what do you mean?

Usually with girls we talk and then there is a pause in the conversation and we look into each others and they smile shyly and it is obvious that it is the right time to kiss her. But if she is still talking how do I pick my moment?

 

[2Cool]

The dynamics vary obviously. Consider if you are alone, lighting, or in a club dancing close, or sitting on a love seat, etc. A setting that would ordinarily provide you a chance to get close and not make her uncomfortable. Anyway, don't think too hard on this. The more analysis you put on this the less value I would put on trying to kiss her. You've been out before and already kissed her. She knows you want to get physical.

The way I am invisioning this is since we know she is a talker and is taking up valuable time from you to make a move (in the traditional sense), I am thinking if you are next to her walking, standing, or sitting and she's babbling on as usual, lean in and kiss her on the cheek or neck. I can see me doing this with no problem, and quite honestly I have. Sometimes it works sometimes not. It's life.