Trigger Alert/Black Pill: Confidence Doesn't Work Unless You Are Good Looking

[lizardking82]

And to add something to the discussion: I've seen around this forum, but also in general social interactions in my country with men and sometimes even women that a lot of importance is given to how the general perception of the public is for the girl or the girls you are dating/banging/like/turn you on. I couldn't care less. That girl that everyone calls a 10, yeah, I'd like to bang her, at first sight. However, I've had communications with girls like that and they are often times just nice looking, genetically lucky pieces of meat, nothing more. No charming, no teasing, no playing, no mindbang, they don't know how to ride or s0ck unless they're a seasoned ***** and I don't get along well with those since they are cold, broken, full of meaningless games and want money, cars, bla bla.

Guys have to understand one thing: If she turns you on, that's all you need. You don't need the approval of guys here in the forum on whether she's a 8 9 or 10. Scratch that. What's a 10 to me is not a 10 to someone else. To me personally, if she can behave submissively and moans beautiful and has a the type of body I like, is not a ballbreaker, etc. she's a 9 or 10. I believe a lot of guys struggle to find a decent woman because they care about socitie's standards of the woman they're dating LOL

 

[Alvafe]

If I win 10 matches Im confident in my skills, if i lose 10 matches I get less confident in my skills...I dont see anything hard to understand in that.

After I won 10 matches and only lost 2 Im still more confident than what I should be in the second league.

Unless of course you believe confidence is based on something different than being succesful, I do believe REAL CONFIDENCE comes from being sure about possessing the necessary skills rather than convince yourself to possess them.

I also believe in the "fake it untill you make it" but I wouldnt call it confidence.

im' confident that I can bench 200 pounds because I did, im not confident in beanching 230 pounds cause I failed when I tried...do you believe in the second case Im wrong and more confidence would power up my muscles??

but tell me how you could bench 230 without trying? you are not confident you can do the 230, but you are confident you trying you will get there, even if that means doing less reps to achieve it. having confidence on your skills is more about confident you can do well regardless what will happen, I do belive most here are losing the scope of what you should be confidence, and aimming on for achievements, and not trying to get more and better

I do find you saying this strange even, I mean with that forum nick, I would guess you would always be more daring even if others said no

 

[AttackFormation]

Why the need for a label and simplicity?

So you can spend your brain power on other things and move on with your life while having the knowledge needed.

 

[17 shots]

who you look good to, is subjective, no matter how you look... so as long as you are confident around the women who think you look good, no matter how few there are, it should all even out right? lol...

 

[lizardking82]

While I agree, there are plenty of guys out there who have good enough looks but no confidence to back it up.


If you ask me, there is zero benefit to any aspect of this discussion.

First, an example of 2 men hardly makes for enough proof to extrapolate broad theories. These two men can be just as much an anomaly as the ugly guys we see once in a blue with a hot woman.

Second, the idea that you'll never have a chance because 23.5% of men are far better looking than you presumes you will always be up against these highly attractive men. Do you think that guy on the other side of the room who is a 9 is eyeballing that 7 you're chatting up? No. He's got his eye on better looking women just the same as the woman who eyeballs a 9 guy but cant compete with those 9 women he regularly interacts with. So unless you're aiming way above your paygrade, such a comparison like this is moot. You might as well tell guys to roll over and abandon confidence because they aren't 9s.

Third, everyone has their normal pool of competition; a "league" of men that they compete with daily and a "league" of women to be had that they can be competitive in without being blown out constantly. Typically these men in usual competition with each other will not have extreme differences in looks. One man may be a little better looking than another, obviously, but we're not talking about trolls vs. models here. Under these circumstances, confidence will often make a huge difference in tipping the scales of attraction in your favor, even if another guy is slightly better looking than you are.

And finally, a small sample taken within a social circle is not really a controlled experiment that can isolate and pin point the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of confidence. These men might be getting nowhere in this social circle exactly because these women know these men are well known to constantly hit up on other women within the social circle itself. The results might have nothing to do with confidence or looks and just may be purely coincidental.

Does it even matter? A lot of times, this topic is treated with no regard to social skills, smartness, character. We talk like we're robots with attractivness numbers sticked on our backs like 6 or 8 and if I am robot with number 6 I can't bang a girl robot with number 9. Humans are more complicated than that.

 

[Who Dares Win]

but tell me how you could bench 230 without trying? you are not confident you can do the 230, but you are confident you trying you will get there, even if that means doing less reps to achieve it. having confidence on your skills is more about confident you can do well regardless what will happen, I do belive most here are losing the scope of what you should be confidence, and aimming on for achievements, and not trying to get more and better

I do find you saying this strange even, I mean with that forum nick, I would guess you would always be more daring even if others said no

Being confident about having chances to do something is different than being confident aboutsomething you regularly do and are proven to succeed.

To say "I could make it" and "I know I can cause i do it everyday" are two different degrees of confidence, thats what Im saying.

 

[guru1000]

Some of you men fail in understanding distinctions.

Confidence in X <> Confidence in Y

Genuine confidence in X can only be incited from a track record of success in X. Period. All other confidence is contrived.

To have benched 275 means you are confident in benching 275 right now or in the near future assuming you lost no muscle mass. This man with a 275 max would not be confident in benching 350 as he has always failed such a feat. But this does not mean he is not confident that one day he will be able to bench 350 because his previous track record also demonstrates that as long as he keeps training and eating right he will continue making strength gains.

Distinction fellas. Think.

As to the OP:

"Confidence doesn't work unless you are good-looking"

This is a bit of a oxymoron, as to have genuine confidence with a particular league of women means you have a track record of success backing you in that league of women, so to have that confidence is already an illustration that YOU can do (and have been doing) well with those women.

What you're referring to OP is men who don't do good with women who project a contrived confidence. Such a contrived confidence can be sniffed out and recognized by most women and thus is generally ineffective (edit: to the extent that she recognizes the confidence to be contrived).

 

[Spaz]

I've not truly yet fully understood the red pill concept as being espoused by many here (seems jumbled up - I've made my own version of it) and now there's a black pill to further muddle the water.

Someone care to explain what is the Black Pill?

 

[lamath]

I've not truly yet fully understood the red pill concept as being espoused by many here (seems jumbled up - I've made my own version of it) and now there's a black pill to further muddle the water.

Someone care to explain what is the Black Pill?

Same here
Black pill, purple pill wtf is all that.
Dont have the time to watch all those youtube video.

 

[Alvafe]

Being confident about having chances to do something is different than being confident aboutsomething you regularly do and are proven to succeed.

To say "I could make it" and "I know I can cause i do it everyday" are two different degrees of confidence, thats what Im saying.

but then how you can guess who is who?

and your I could make it, I could change to "I can do it" regardless I have previous experience or not

 

[corrector]

So yeah I know a couple of guys who are extremely active "players" if you wan to use that term. They hit on every pretty girl in our social circles. Every. Single. One. They have no "approach anxiety." They are extremely confident. They smile. They joke. They are totally at ease with themselves and with the girls. Here's the catch. They are both on the average to ugly end of the spectrum. One of the guys hasn't changed his outfit in the entire time I've known him. The other claims he has a good job, and he dresses well, but his face looks barely human. In the past year...

...How many girlfriends have they gotten as a result (from the group)?

Drum roll please.....

Spoiler: Click to here find the answer

ZERO.

...How many dates have they gotten as a result (from the group)?

Spoiler: Click here to find the answer!

ZERO ONE ON ONE DATES.

How were the women's reaction to the guy? Were they rude with him or did they look like they were having a good social time. Is that what these guys want or have they revealed to you they are secretly frustrated the ladies are not taking them on?

I mean, if they are happy and are able to have a good-time socially with women, and that is what they want, then what's the problem? If I were MGTOW monk-mode then I'd probably take that approach as well (i.e. limit involvement but be open socially).

Lesson: get as good looking as possible within your means. This is the no. 1 factor in attraction by far. It either is or soon will be, the no. 1 source of leverage in a relationship. Women make as much money as men and in many cases more money than men. They don't need men to survive. Therefore, physical appeal rather than financial survival will be the key criterion.

If you don't adapt, you are screwed and not in the good way.

How can you get good looking as possible? You can't really change your face, and there are threads where people bulked up or worked on their body and it didn't dramatically change their results and have women just throwing themselves at them. If it were all about looks, then the solution would just be to go to the gym, bulk-up or look ripped and then problem solved. I don't think its that simple because I don't feel there is any real hope that bulking/ripping is the way to go to make any type of difference otherwise everyone would do it and problem solved and you won't need this board, right? If you have the right face then it won't matter if you are fat and out of shape. What do you think?

 

[zekko]

Black pill, purple pill wtf is all that..

Black pill is a more pessimistic version of the Red Pill. Things are worst case scenario when it comes to women. They especially lean toward the idea that looks are everything, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Purple pill is a mix of red and blue pill. They embrace some of the red pill ideas but soften them with retaining some of their blue pill outlooks.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've not truly yet fully understood the red pill concept as being espoused by many here (seems jumbled up - I've made my own version of it) and now there's a black pill to further muddle the water.

Someone care to explain what is the Black Pill?

Black pill is the theory that women care the most about a guy’s looks.

It’s not that other traits don’t matter, but looks is considered (by black pill believers) to be the dominant reason why women select certain men and reject others.

 

[The_411]

The whole premise is flawed.

Read the points made by Amante S. in the thread. He’s spot on.

With all other things being equal, if you could take two men who were exact replicas except for their looks the guy with the better looks would be more successful.

That being said, save for indentucal twins, we are all different so the application of looks matter especially when you take a man who looks like an Armani model versus a neck beard who is 75 lbs overweight who has social anxiety.

The point of becoming better with women is to improve your chances with women as a whole.

All people have limitations in non-tangible aspects. One’s abilities and skills are delivered with a floor and ceiling. People hate the idea that hard work can not overcome obstacles.
However that is the reality.

No matter how much I work on my vertical jump I will never be able to take off from the free throw line and dunk because I was not gifted with Michael Jordan’s height and athletic ability.

I could however go from grabbing the rim to perhaps dunking.

This same concept applies to an ability like leadership.

You can improve these things within your range, but you cannot exceed your natural ability.

The point here is improve you to the best of your limitations with the understanding that a woman’s attraction to you increases the closer you are to ceiling of your abilities. It does not guarantee you will be successful with her.

Why do you think women tend like guys who are well groomed, smell great, have great style. Sure there’s a correlation to attractiveness there, but these are things that men can control.

Men can learn to improve themselves and gain insight that relying on a woman to make you happy only will end badly and that by creating a great life, women will be attracted to you because you aren’t putting them on a pedestal.

 

[GrowingPains]

"How can you get good looking as possible?"

Be the best you can be. Everyone's dealt different cards. All we can do is play them to the best of our ability. Shave your facial hair in a way that fits you. Get a nice haircut. Wear glasses if they compliment your face. Lose weight and get some facial definition from it. Plenty of ways to improve. Not saying you'll be a 10 in everyone's eyes because of it, but you should only aim to be a 10 in your eyes. As a byproduct, you will be a 10 in someone else's eyes too.

There is no absolute when it comes to what works best. You cannot just have one without the others and say that one aspect is more important. Maybe those guys that improved their bodies weren't improving personality, style (physical and verbal), etc. Dress well. Express yourself. That's all you can do. I tend to perceive people who are looking for an absolute in one of two ways:

1. They are confused about the holistic view ive just described.

2. They are looking for an excuse as to why what they're trying isn't working or why not to try to be better.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The whole premise is flawed.

Read the points made by Amante S. in the thread. He’s spot on.

With all other things being equal, if you could take two men who were exact replicas except for their looks the guy with the better looks would be more successful.

That being said, save for indentucal twins, we are all different so the application of looks matter especially when you take a man who looks like an Armani model versus a neck beard who is 75 lbs overweight who has social anxiety.

The point of becoming better with women is to improve your chances with women as a whole.

All people have limitations in non-tangible aspects. One’s abilities and skills are delivered with a floor and ceiling. People hate the idea that hard work can not overcome obstacles.
However that is the reality.

No matter how much I work on my vertical jump I will never be able to take off from the free throw line and dunk because I was not gifted with Michael Jordan’s height and athletic ability.

I could however go from grabbing the rim to perhaps dunking.

This same concept applies to an ability like leadership.

You can improve these things within your range, but you cannot exceed your natural ability.

The point here is improve you to the best of your limitations with the understanding that a woman’s attraction to you increases the closer you are to ceiling of your abilities. It does not guarantee you will be successful with her.

Why do you think women tend like guys who are well groomed, smell great, have great style. Sure there’s a correlation to attractiveness there, but these are things that men can control.

Men can learn to improve themselves and gain insight that relying on a woman to make you happy only will end badly and that by creating a great life, women will be attracted to you because you aren’t putting them on a pedestal.

Thing about it is folks natural abilities far exceed what they think is possible.

 

[steelpulse]

How were the women's reaction to the guy? Were they rude with him or did they look like they were having a good social time. Is that what these guys want or have they revealed to you they are secretly frustrated the ladies are not taking them on? I mean, if they are happy and are able to have a good-time socially with women, and that is what they want, then what's the problem? If I were MGTOW monk-mode then I'd probably take that approach as well (i.e. limit involvement but be open socially).

The social circles I'm a part of now are very competitive and tense. The women generally are very friendly overall to the men and very distant with other women. The women aren't overtly hostile, they just tend not to talk to one another. Very little 'girl power' or wing girls. Even the girlfriends don't seem to like each other that much. The men are very friendly to the women and things are tense between men. I certainly don't want it to be this way but the two guys I mentioned are outgunned and are very hateful. They want to be my friend but when push comes to shove, they become insulting and hostile and lose their composure.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes, the girls are very friendly to these guys. Which is almost too bad because these guys then think they have a chance and ask the girls out. They either get rudely rejected or they become an orbiter. The girls keep them around for favors like drinks and rides and for the psychological pleasure of having a servant around. They're like puppies that follow their master around.

How can you get good looking as possible? You can't really change your face, and there are threads where people bulked up or worked on their body and it didn't dramatically change their results and have women just throwing themselves at them. If it were all about looks, then the solution would just be to go to the gym, bulk-up or look ripped and then problem solved. I don't think its that simple because I don't feel there is any real hope that bulking/ripping is the way to go to make any type of difference otherwise everyone would do it and problem solved and you won't need this board, right? If you have the right face then it won't matter if you are fat and out of shape. What do you think?

Extreme end: plastic surgery, limb lengthening surgery, hair implants. Less extreme: gym, braces, teeth whitening, tanning, hair stylist. Shoe lifts, better style, working out, a good photographer for social media.

 

[steelpulse]

Sorry to drop another black pill, but as red/black pill theory predicts, the women I know show exactly zero variation in who they find attractive. They're only attracted to one guy in the group, and they all have a unanimous second place candidate as well. The rest of the guys they find unattractive, but perfectly acceptable as friends and orbiters.

Aside from the married guys and guys with steady girlfriends, there are maybe 10-12 single guys in our group whom the girls have access to.

Black and red pill says there is a top 20% that all women pursue and legitimately find attractive. In our social circles, it is around 15-20% (2/10 or 2/12 roughly).

 

[Spaz]

Black pill is the theory that women care the most about a guy’s looks.

It’s not that other traits don’t matter, but looks is considered (by black pill believers) to be the dominant reason why women select certain men and reject others.

Thanks. I get it. Of course looks matters.

 

[Spaz]

Looks gives a man an advantage but with women it takes a whole package.

If u r powerful and look like king kong she'll still find you attractive.