Tried to help friend...was i wrong??

Pandora

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I usually don’t post stories but I lost a friend over sum AFC sh**and need opinions.
On new years days a friend of mine and 2 other guys went to a bar to meet some girls. My friend worked with this chick and had a major crush on her. According to him they would flirt at work and she would tell him about how much she really appreciated him. According to him she had trouble adjusting to the new workplace and everyone was mean to her. So we go to the bar and wait for her for over an hour. She was apparently busy at another bar even though she was supposed to meet us an hour ago. She finally shows up with her friend. Both are hot as hell. They hangout for a while before I introduce my self, hit on her friend a little and then leave. I didn’t want to interfere with his game. I go to another bar right down the street because I wasn’t feeling the atmosphere at the first bar. I approach a bunch of girls and I’m having a good time when my friend comes to look for me pissed off. He says he wants to leave. Before leaving I head back to the original bar with the 2 girls. While there ( im a little drunk) I grab her friend and ask her for a new years kiss. I got it. I told them me and the other guys aren’t feeling this place and that we are going to a strip club down the street. In reality it was a sausage fest in the bar and I didn’t want to linger too long over these chicks. Every guy was hitting on them and the few other females weren’t really giving us too much play. The girls had all the power and they knew it. I was out. I tried to convince them to come along but they declined. We leave. On the ride to the club my buddy is texting her like crazy saying he’s sorry for leaving. Ever since then at work the girl is not talking to him and ignores him. He approached her about it and she told him it was because he left her at the bar and that he’s not the guy she thought he was and all this other BS. She hasn’t talked to him all month. He now blames this on me. We almost fought over this. I try to tell him that she just was not that interested in him and shes playin him. It's hard explaining to an AFC who happens to be a good friend to man up. Was I wrong here…..?
 

T-X

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Leaving the girls to go to a strip bar was a bad call, then inviting them to come with.... Lol! This may have most likely killed her interest.

Still it isn't really your fault. There's not much chance of your friend reinstating her interest, he's just going to have to next this chick.
 
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jophil28

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Pandora said:
So we go to the bar and wait for her for over an hour. She was apparently busy at another bar even though she was supposed to meet us an hour ago. She finally shows up with her friend.
That order of lateness is appallingly RUDE. IN the language of behaviour she was telling both of you that she values both of you as if you were her slaves.

Your friend was sucked right into her "poor me" story at the office. Women like this feel entitled to be "catered to" - and she is playing the victim role to recruit a Capt Save a Ho.

What were you thinking waiting for a woman for an HOUR ? THat's not chivalry, that just dumb slavery.. Live and love by the 'ten minute' rule. If she is running late and she has not called you or texted you inside ten minutes AND APOLOGIZED ,then you just leave.
 

Trader

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Pandora - here's the funny part

Even if you did *kill* his chances with that girl (which obviously you didn't) - why is your friend making such a big deal about it?

It is just a girl. Repeat. It is just some girl. And so he is going to let that one missed opportunity kill your entire friendship.

He is either

1) Desperate for girls
2) Places low value on your friendship so that he would trash it so quickly
 

horaholic

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He should be thanking you for ruining his chances with an obvious psycho drama queen. She's pissed at him because he went to another bar? And, he invited her? Jesus! Tell him to grow a pair and tell that chick she's being a retard. Did he just leave without saying goodbye or something. He didnt 'leave' her at the bar. You guys gave them the option to come along, and they declined. Why didnt your friend just stay there and keep at it with his girl? Did you hold a gun to his head and tell him he has go? Your friend is an idiot. I would have stuck with the girl, and tried to get them to a more secluded place.

I dont know what to tell you. Your friend needs to realize that his girls is being a stupid bytch about it, and frankly, so is he for blaming you.
 

squirrels

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She invited him to meet her at a bar.

She made him wait an HOUR while she was doing what? Important business? Family stuff? NO! Hanging out at ANOTHER BAR, probably flirting with OTHER GUYS.

And then SHE gets ticked off.

And instead of telling her off, he apologizes to her the whole way to the (.)(.) club. He's pretty much given this girl his balls and now she's juggling them at work.

Were they BOTH set against the strip club? Or just the girl your buddy was into? I would've tried to isolate the friend and left your buddy behind with HIS girl to try to work his game (or lack thereof). Or you could've tried to isolate to another (non-(.)(.) ) bar.

But then, if the girls are down, or if they have enough drinks, they'll go to a strip club. I've been dragged onto party-buses with girls that have wanted to go to strip clubs. I'm willing to believe you sold it in the wrong way...you should probably be more subtle leading into something like that. Make them think it was THEIR idea.

But yeah, they're just chicks.
 

Julian

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You were right bro. Your biggest mistake was trying to meet up with random b1tches you didnt know on NYE. That should have been like an afterthought/side mission.
 

Pandora

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Thanks guys i appreciate all the replies:

Were they BOTH set against the strip club? Or just the girl your buddy was into? I would've tried to isolate the friend and left your buddy behind with HIS girl to try to work his game (or lack thereof). Or you could've tried to isolate to another (non-(.)(.) ) bar.
No only the girl was against leaving for the strip club. I wanted to go cuz it was my first time. My buddy also wanted to go. The funny thing is her best friend (a local bartender) that she came with knew the names of all the strip clubs around and had actually been to alot of them.

Even if you did *kill* his chances with that girl (which obviously you didn't) - why is your friend making such a big deal about it?
Yeh i mean this is exactly wut im sayin. If a girl is that fickle with her interest in you to drop you after sumthin so petty then she wasnt really feelin him in the first place. He refuses to accept this fact. GIRLS WHO ARE TRULY INTERESTED IN A GUY WILL LET A GUY GET AWAY WITH ALMOST ANYTHING AND STILL COME BACK TO THE GUY. An besides shes just one chick!
But the whole situation makes me realize that there are alot of guys who have never matured in their perception of women. For lack of a better term there are alot of guys still stuck in the "matrix". To them when a beautiful chick is not interested in them, they blame it on some wrong that they committed. Guys like us understand that there is a manipulative side to a lot of gorgeous women. With guys like my buddy you can preach to them all you want but they refuse to accept the truth.
 
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