Tried Pug's approach method, ahh, I feel so stupid!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Derek Flint
And after awhile, you will become desensitized to being rejected, which will only give you more confidence.

You would think so but I've seen too many guys in clubs that they are SO desensitized, they have an uber fvck you attitude. You've seen these guys, they get very bitter and belligerent when they are rejected and act like complete @ssholes.

 

[skinnydart]

I had on a brand new pair of jeans (US Polo I think), slightly washed out, new white/black tennis shoes, on the top a black Guess t-shirt, a blue athletic-type vneck shirt on top of that, then a black sueade shirt unbottoned on top of that. My hair was messed up but gelled.

I was thinking of hitting on the chick that was putting away books but after the look on the girl's face that I approached, I was afraid I would be kicked out or something.

the "are you single" question opposed to "do you have a boyfriend" is credited to David DeAngelo

Great

I thought as well that after the first one, the rest would be a lot easier but now I don't really even want to think about it.

I'm always open to trying to start a convo with a chick but they all seem to just ignore me and go about their business.

In fact, I actually saw the red-headed chick in this picture (http://www.newbeginning.biz/skinnydart.jpg) which was taken almost a year ago. I haven't seen her sense that picture was taken but she might have regognized me sense we go to the same college. I wanted to try to the "are you single" line on her, but she was sitting on these couches talking with a bunch of friends (a few guys too) and was still there when I left.

 

[MRomeo99]

It's pointless everyone arguing about the "Are You Single?" approach. It definitely works, however there is so much to it.

If you listen to David DeAngelo who originated this opener. You will realize that an opener is only 7% what you say, and 93% of all the other stuff. You have to take into account different things like:

1. Your body language.
2. Your breathing(Is your heart beating 140bpms)
3. Facial Expression, are you smiling, deadpan, flushed, etc.
4. Eye Contact, are you looking directly in her eyes when you say that?
5. Delivery of the line. Hard to show this online. But, imagine the difference between rushing through the line, "Are you Single?", versus speaking it slowly with authority.
6. Timing, if you approach her in a bookstore, how centered is she in the moment. She might be still thinking about what she was reading, rather than giving you 100% of her attention.

When I played around with this opener, I had it scripted out as well. Find a way to continue the conversation, because you never know. For instance off the top of my head, here is what I might come up with.

Me: Hi, can I ask you a quick question?
Her: Ummm.... sure.
Me: Are you single?
Her: No!
Me: Cool, so you have experience with relationships. I just started dating this girl casually a month or so ago, and it's her birthday. Normally I would ask my sister for advice, but do you have any suggestions for someone that I've just started dating that isn't exclusive?

1,000 different directions that conversation can go. And it's better than just ejecting in my opinion. I have found that the Are You Single, doesn't work on about 1/2 of the women, and if you keep talking to them, they will admit they lied when they said No.

Anyway, the whole point of my post is that there are so many other aspects to the approach than just the words coming out of your mouth. And as someone else suggested, you're not going to have success until you've delivered it enough times. One approach isn't a track record. Heck even 100 approaches isn't a record. Try, try again.

Just get the words out for the first 10-20 times, don't worry about your results. And eventually start fine tuning all the little things that you can.

HTH,

--Romeo

 

[MrCode]

Everyone should re-read MRomeo99's post...about 5 times. It is gold, and so good I now feel no need to post much myself.

I will add that your attitude and body language are such a huge part that eventually you could approach and say crap like "Do you like donkeys?" and it would still work.

 

[Pugsley_f5]

How about instead of blaming the approach you may want to look at yourself and figure out why you are getting bad responses from chicks when you interrupt chances are there is something you don't know of thats really giving off a bad vibe with them, maybe body language.....and OF COURSE YOUR GONNA FEEL STUPID, THIS IS UNLIKE ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE DONE IN YOUR LIFE, IT"S CALLED STRECTHING, AND THATS WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!!!....


The only reason you feel stupid is cause your self concious and your self image is bad, when I approached the chick im dating I felt like a total loser, but how I felt and how she saw me were two totally diff things, don't infer your feelings as being the same as someone elses......just cause you think you look ugly don't assume that everyone else thinks that too.....Just keep doing it man, don't give up heres what i did with mine....


TRY>>>>FAIL>>>>>ADJUST


you will eventually figure out how to make it work with your personality.....just keep doing it and develop a thick skin and keep your body language and posture freindly and smile!!!


Pugs

 

[Oxide]

Do you guys realize the awesomeness of this? Pugsey went out there in real life, and got 21 approaches.. plus a great girl..

Now, he comes back here and shares his EXPERIENCES with the guys who are just starting out. If pugsey never went out, this skinnydart would never get help from pugs and get better...

this is why i like this forum. I feel if i give info out, someone is going to read it and become a better person. That is a really good feeling you know.

Skinny, personally i've found out that the more time you spend getting to know the girl = better chances (by that i mean the time you talk to her before you go for the kiss)..
I would say if you are not getting any signals from her, talk to her for at least 3 minutes..then ask her to join you for coffee.

However, if she keeps looking at your lips, and starts grinding on you in the middle of barnes and noble, you better wake up, get dressed, and go look for that girl


Good luck mate. Ill check on you in a month or so. You better have at least 30 approaches. Dont worry, after 7 it will be easy sailing.

 

[Jager_Boy]

Im telling you guys, its not that hard. If you are a decent looking dude, work out and project confidence, getting girls isnt hard. At 20 years old, I weighed 120lbs soaking wet. Girls always said I was cute and all that garbage. WEll, I started working out and now weigh in at about 190lbs, so Im still cute/hot or whatever, plus Im muscular. Now, just getting big isnt going to give you game. But if you are bigger, you will feel more confident. And slowly but surely, you will start getting more looks, getting more confidnet and eventually will become what you guys call an "Alpha". Ive gotten more pu$$y this year than I did my whole life just from having this confidence from knowing Im bigger and badder than most people at the club/bar/mall etc.

A few things that work for me, use MSDS and CDV

MSDS = My $hit Dont Stink

CDV= Cool Dude Vibe

If you walk around like you couldnt care less what a broad thinks about you, they will wonder why? Why is this dude so ****y and confident? Dont walk around the club/mall like you are nice and all happy go lucky. Walk around semi slow, dont make fast movements and move out of peoples way like a lil biatch. Make sure you dont stare at girls for too long, a quick glance to see if she is checking you out will suffice. I usually , not always, but usually will not approach a girl right off the bat/instantly if I catch her staring. I will make another round or two, then when I see her again, I will make my approach, and its always different depending on the situation.

Im telling you, if you dont wholly believe that you are the shiznit, reading every damn thing on this forum wont help. So if you are a skinny dweeb, its probably not gonna work for you, because if it did, you would already have it naturally and wouldnt be on this forum....

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Man oxide , you make me sound like I am a fricking guru or something, that which I am not, but I geuss an ego boost doesnt hurt

Pugs

 

[Trance]

No one in this site is successfull at a good rate with this kind of aproaches by doing them when the only thing you're there is to do aproaches, only thinking "i need to get a girl", "i need to get laid", "im a loser if i dont get her number", etc.

Success comes when you do this kind of stuff in the right time, moment, and without being there in the antecipation of doing it to the first hb you see.

Focus on your social life.