Tried Pug's approach method, ahh, I feel so stupid!

[skinnydart]

After reading pug's approach journal I was inspired. I bought myself a nice new suit of clothes, and after work went over the Best Buy tonight, told myself to just go up to the first girl I saw and go for it. I spotted a hb looking at movies in the same isle so I walked by her looking at different dvd's myself. "That's a good movie isn't it?" I say. She just glares at me and goes back to the shelves. Wow, so people are really friendly.

So seeing that there was no other hot chicks in there I walk next door to Barnes and Nobles and every hb there is either staff or sitting there with their boyfriend or their dad (I know it was weird, like 3 chicks were with their dad, because of the break I guess). After about an hour of wanding around, letting a few slip by I just picked one hb who was looking at a book in an isle with no one else. "I'm not letting another opporotunity like this slip away" I told myself. She was about a 6.5, I had told myself I wasn't leaving until I made at least 1 approach. I just needed to do it so I could go eat dinner. I already had a responce ready for anything they said like "I'm seeing someone", "I have a bf", etc.

So I walk right up to her and say:

"Hey"
she looks up from her book with a "what do you want" look.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" I say
"um... go ahead"
"Are you single?"
She looks at me like "what the heck were you thinking you moron"
"No" she says quickly and goes back to looking at her book.
None of the replies worked for this one, I mean I was exspecting at least a "i have a bf" or "no, I'm sorry"

Not only was that the hardest thing I've ever done, walking up to her after stalling for an hour, but that was the most humiliating thing I've ever done. I felt to stupid. I couldn't wait to get out of there. It was a lot harder than it looks, I mean this was way harder than even asking out a girl for the first time (that i knew).

I was dressed pretty well, and looked pretty good. I'm not bragging I'm just saying I was prepared, trendy clothing, cologn, mints, hair gelled, just like I would normally get ready for going out for an evening.

I didn't get any ec from anybody the whole evening, they all just seem to be so involved in their own business and converstions like even when I make it a point to try to make ec with a girl it doesn't work. I'm not fat or ugly, I mean, with the exception of the 2 other somewhat good looking guys that were there w/ their gf's, I was one of the better looking guys there. What's wrong? Maybe it's just where I live. Man, part of me says go keep being humiliated, and another part doesn't want to ever try anything remotly like that again.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Interesting...

 

[Jager_Boy]

That sucks, work out for 3 years and try again...

 

[georgie24]

wow bud your really over analysing this.

heres a mini crash course

1. make eye contact

2. make her laugh

3. ask her some light questions

4. feel her out after you did 1-3 that should tell you whether to move on

 

[rawr582]

in places like those mentioned.. i normally go for like george24 said... ill make eye contact with her and if i see her stare back ill slight wink and if she blushs and turns away quick ya know ya got her attention then move in for the kill with some light friendly questions.. i wouldnt ask her dating status the 3rd question in a book or computer store...

 

[Layla]

Hey dont sweat it bro,
different approaches work for different people and maybe pugsleys isnt your ticket to ride.

I mean, i can never see myself approaching a girl with the first question being "are you single". you should talk for a couple of minutes first, and build rapport.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

That's my experience 70% of time when doing Cold Approaches.

And most girls say I'm very cute so I imagine i'm at least a decent looking guy.

Even when I break the ice the closing gets them nervous you can see it on there faces.I've tried everyline you can think of,every dumb question know to man,every pick up spot around here. Nothing really works like a charm. It's just pure luck of meeting a loose chic or chic that's already interested in you.

There are just so unatural and weird that I stopped doing them all together last month.

Unless I get signals I do not them. Big waste of time IMO.

 

[iCY]

Mabey it isnt a good idea to approch in a bookstore since most of them are there to read or study and dont really like being disturbed. Would you like to take time out to talk to a stranger while you were busy studying for a test or something? Studying makes people cranky. Try it again in a different place where they dont seem busy with anything.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Dude, whatever you do (if you choose not to give up), don't ever limit yourself on where you sarge. You may not be successful every time (alright, you'll NEVER be successful every time) but you can't be so afraid that a place will dictate your DJism.

You need to be comfortable with yourself if you expect any woman to be comfortable with you. Were you truly comfortable in Best Buy? In B & N? Would it be any different anywhere else?

Fall back, regroup (analyze what worked and what didn't), make the appropriate changes and try again.

Oh and by the way, I love sarging in B & N. But understand, it's one of my favorite places in town, when I'm there I'm the ruler of that domain.

 

[skinnydart]

Try it again in a different place where they dont seem busy with anything.

Like where, bookstores are the best place I could think of. I'm at home in a computer store (I'm a computer nerd) but the chicks aren't for some reason. (They need to get a real hobby).

I did feel really comfortable with myself and how I was dressed and everything, just not that comfortable walking up to some strange evidently-married and not-even-that-hot chick and asking her if she was single. Man, where was the rock to crawl under when i needed it.

It makes the one girl I've dated a few times seem to be worth more for some reason. Before I just thought with a little effort I could go get a bunch more numbers.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Man I am with you Skinnydart. I have been rejected by plenty of girls in my life and for me it never gets easier. I personally have trouble understanding these guys when they talk about the more you get rejected the easier it becomes. To me it feels equally bad everytime I get rejected.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

You care far too much about what others think of you. Be happy that you are man enough to go after what you want.

Cold approaches become much easier with experience. Your still not going to be near 100%, but who cares. People will only think your a loser if you think your a loser. If you walk away without a care in the world, content that you went after it, you end up looking like a hero.

As you get more comfortable with it, you will learn to talk a little better, instead of just walking up to a stanger and asking if they are single.

Keep on it. It DOES get easier.

Mr. Mystery

 

[duke007]

You need to learn to laugh at yourself. Don't take it so seriously...cold approaches are supposed to be fun and challenging. Even the most good-looking skilled DJs are at high risk of crashing and burning.

Let's say you told your AFC friends what happened. They'd probably laugh and at the same time be in awe of you for having such big balls.

So when you next do a cold approach, view it how others would and appreciate the craziness of the situation. Don't you find it hard not to chuckle when they get that nervous expression on their face? Also isn't it amusing when girls get all cold or b1tchy for no reason? There's examples of that all over comedy TV.

This mindset helps you and the girl relax because you'll begin to exude a happy-go-lucky attitude.

You can't really lose....either you meet a confident, cool chick who can see how special you are, or you amuse yourself with illogical female antics and end up with a sweet story to tell.

Keep it up mate

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mr. Delicious
Man I am with you Skinnydart. I have been rejected by plenty of girls in my life and for me it never gets easier. I personally have trouble understanding these guys when they talk about the more you get rejected the easier it becomes. To me it feels equally bad everytime I get rejected.

Don't believe the bozo's that tell you that. They just say that to convince themselves that they may have a chance if they just stick with it. They swear that will power will pull them through. It won't. With that mindset the best that they will achieve is the ability to continuously be turned down without knowing why.

As for you Skinny, work on new intro lines. "Are you single" has AFC written all over it. Here's what goes through her head when you ask that:

1. OMG, not another one.
2. Is that the best he can do?
3. Pervert, I bet he's undressing me with his eyes.
4. He's desperate.
5. So he won't talk to a woman unless she's single?

You might as well ask you if she spits or swallows because either way you have missed out on one of the major aspects necessary in engaging women.

YOU NEED TO BUILD RAPPORT BEFORE GETTING PERSONAL WITH ANY WOMAN!!!

Just because YOU went to B & N to pick up someone, doesn't mean that she did. Don't approach her as if she did, simple as that. You're in a book store, ask her about a fvcking book!!!


You prepared yourself physically by dressing up, that's good. Don't let it stop there, you need to prepare yourself mentally. Understand the environment you are sarging in, understand the type of women in that environment, know your commonalities with that woman then approach her.

 

[Interpol]

This is the downside to the direct "Are you single?" approach. Since you have no rapport whatsoever with the girl, she's not even going to bother to let you down easily. Rejection comes hard, swiftly, and often.

I would really recommend going into the approach with the mindset of "I'm going to start a conversation with this girl" and not "I'm going to try to pick up this girl as quickly as possible".

If the girl isn't receptive to conversation, eject. If she is, keep it going, build rapport, figure out if she's even someone you're interested in.

This brings up another point I don't like about the "Are you single" approach - it makes you look like a shallow, desperate loser because you're already trying to set up a date before you even know anything about the girl!

So anyways, get some good conversation going, and if you're feeling the vibes then ask for her number. If you don't get it, who cares, you got some good conversational experience which is important!

Conclusion: Enough already with "Are you single?"

 

[AverageFC]

Francisco, I'm curious as to what kind of openers you use.

 

[Oxide]

I'm there I'm the ruler of that domain

Of course, no wonder you are such a big nerd

Haha, i imagine my man here walking in the B and N and every old lady who works there rolls her eyes and says "here we go again."

So fransico gets a book, sits down in a chair so he can watch the enterance, and reads..of course he isnt reading much, but it looks like he is. Then a hot girl comes in.. oh wait, nevermind, make that an old hag. She goes over to "For women over 50" romance novels section. Franciso slowly puts the book down, gets up and goes for it.
"May i help you?" he asks the "beautiful lady"
"Do you work here? interrupts a lady at the counter..
"HELL YEAH, cant you see THAT?!" he replies.. "I just LOOOVE bookworm freaky girls!"




Nah, im sure there are "TONS" of models who come to read at B n N... hahah, i just cant stop, sorry man, you can get me right back

 

[Derek Flint]

I love direct game, so I'm a proponent of the "Are you single" approach.

But with direct game, you will "Live by the blitz, die by the blitz" if I may borrow a term from the NFL - in other words, with that approach, you will get shot down hard a lot, but when you do succeed, it will have its rewards.

And after awhile, you will become desensitized to being rejected, which will only give you more confidence.

BTW, the "are you single" question opposed to "do you have a boyfriend" is credited to David DeAngelo

 

[I-am-someone]

Skinnydart, I am worried about your looks though. Would it be at all possible to post a pic of you in your "going out" outfit, so we can see if you need any help on that.
Personally, I don't ever "improve" my looks just for something like that. I just try to keep a high standard of looking good all the time and I think you should do this as well.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Oxide
Of course, no wonder you are such a big nerd

No, I am a geek with style, there's a difference y'know...