This is a real tough one.
Unfortunately, I fell in love with this one chick and she walked all over me (see a recent post "How to Survive A Broken Heart)
www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/009272.html).
Like a dumb idiot, I obeyed her almost every command and let her mess with my mind and disrespect me. In my state I became a total retard (high interest level rocketing). Unfortunately, folks, I hate to say this, woman will take advantage of this and use you as pure sport.
One preventive method is to be rotating woman -- have a couple in the works. This will kill your desperation and you've got a backup. This should help take off the edge of your interest level.
The only sure way is to mentally understand that *no* woman, and I mean no woman is worthy of such feelings unless she has *proven* herself over a long period of time. What I mean by *proven* is that she is kind and giving, fun to be around, loyal, has integrity and displays *very* high interest in you. Don't let your interest level increase if she makes you feel good. This is not a valid reason.
Even then, when you think you have her hook line and sinker, falling in love can be a dangerous thing. The transformation you go through when in love takes away all that she found attractive in you in the first place. A true DJ, I believe, should never fall in love, or should I say, should never *let* himself fall in love.
One of the fundamental AFC mistakes is to be mesmerized by a woman (especially a pretty one), not even know them and give them *way* too much credit. You need to develop the mindset that *she* has to prove *her* worth to you. Eventhough, she may seem nice, gorgeous, fun to be with and so on -- that means nothing. She needs to prove herself over a long period of time and *give you her heart* and total *loyalty*. I think WildThing said this well in the above post I referenced to.
What you must understand, like the other posts indicate, is that she is just a normal human being like you and I. Unfortunately, our emotions can get the better of us and we build elaborate illusions. The reason we build them is that we want them so bad to be true: the perfect person for me and so on.
In reality, relationships are nothing but two normal people going through a series of power struggles to try to get what they want. Regardless of how we feel, there is really nothing romantic, special or spiritual about it. Remember we are just animals going through a crazy mating dance.
These are the hard facts of life.
And one more thing, find something in your life (not a woman) that you can fall in love with. Have some kind of hobby or interest that provides you with a great source of pleasure. If you can find great satisfaction and contentment in the things you do, you will be no way near as needy for a female. Why? Because you can be happy without her. This is the crucial key.
[This message has been edited by DarkDream (edited 12-07-2001).]
