Transition from AFC to DJ's (Trends many AFCs on these boards seem to make)

Player69

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After some observation, I also decided list the transition phases that it seems a lot of AFC to DJs on this site seem to make. This is just based off my observation, so feel free to comment and or correct me on this. Keep in mind that all these happen after the AFC is already infatuated.


Phase 1 -- AFC with the case of the one-itis

At this stage, the AFC is infatuated with this one girl, and wants to do what ever he can to impress her. He asks girls for advice, other AFC friends, and wonders why everything he tried never seemed to work, while the average jerk can get a girl.

He probably liked this girl in the first place because the girl made the first move, but seemed to lose interest thus toying with his hopes. He was more or a challenge at first, because he did not initiate the first move and had common interests, but started acting to needy, or didn’t make a move soon enough.

The other scenario is a little more rare since it doesn’t actually involve a relationship to begin with, but is just a big crush on a girl and not sure how to approach her. This is more common on the high school boards.

Phase 2 -- The realization of how attraction works
The AFC actually comes across useful information (in this case www.sosuave.com , or other stuff like www.fastseduction.com , and etc…) Lots of them have similar info, and the AFC comes to a realization of “So this is how it works!” He absorbs this info with a thirst, but one key flaw still remains… his infatuation for this one girl. He sees the trends, and thinks some stuff makes sense, but still thinks that this one girl is different. He begins to type neglected or so called stupid posts titled things like “how do I get this one girl I have been friends with forever to like me more?”

Phase 3 -- Improper use of techniques
The AFC is still an AFC, but with DJ tendency’s. He is still focused on getting this one girl to like him, and will try adding things like kino, or neuro linguistic programming. He is still inexperienced at throwing his DJ aura of confident charisma, but at least he is trying. Of course on the don’t call so much, lots seem to mess up on. This especially happens when the AFC to DJ dude over analyzes and things he messed up something and tries to confirm that he did it correctly (acting insecure) and calls the girl again to say he was only joking or something like that. At this point, he may push the girl farther away, and think that the methods are BS. Those that continue trying to be DJ’s will thrive eventually, but others drop out at this point to be forever AFCs.

Phase 4 -- Accepting the truth
The DJ in training realizes that he isn’t being as respect as he wants, and isn’t getting what he wants out of life. He notices that the girl may not be as special as he thought, but won’t want to accept it. He gets response posts saying to NEXT the girl, but most likely won’t and will eventually learn it the hard way.

Phase 5 -- Resentment
The DJ trainee with the one-itis finally loses the girl for one reason or another and is bitter (usually being to nice/needy and treating her to well). He thinks in his mind “What if?” all the time, and what went wrong. He realizes that all the information did have truth, but was to blinded to listen. At this point, he will either wallow in his own AFCness and act depressed, or go out there and play the game right. Sometimes the first for a while before the second. He will usually at this point feel bitter thoughts crossing between hate and love about the girl, and sometimes hate towards other women in general because of their messed up logic. He may decide to go and put his DJ skills, the REAL DJ skills to the test. He knows what to avoid now, and how to prevent himself from repeating the same mistake. At this point, he isn’t necessarily doing this for himself, but to smite that “really special” girl he loved that hurt him.

Phase 6 -- Rebirth
The DJ lost his fears of doing things wrong, and is just out there to have fun and get girls with no one girl in mind. (maybe still the one he had the one-itis on before to an extent.) He has fun with them, and finds out what works and what doesn’t. He doesn’t call the girls right away, or all the time, and doesn’t need to because he is finally doing things right. This part may take time depending oh how fast the DJ boosts confidence, but eventually its built up. He gets better at the game, and doesn’t get infatuated with any girl. He is happier then before, and has a magnetic personality. He gets more respect around women, and all people in general.

Phase 7 -- Seeing his X without the dark shroud of infatuation
The DJ thinks back at times about his X that he actually truly loved once, and wonders why he let her get away. It doesn’t cross his mind to much since he has lots of girls that care about him, but since he had string feelings, it’s still there. He runs into her in one way or another, and notices that she really wasn’t as special as he once though. When he compares her to the girls he has now in personality and looks, she just wouldn’t make the cut anymore. Sometimes at this point, the X may start to notice the reborn DJ, but the DJ hopefully knows better then to get back with her only to repeat history. Some may, but the ones that know better move on to be true DJ’s

Phase 8 -- The master DJ
At this point, the DJ knows what works and what doesn’t. He is a strong alpha male who is ****y and fun, and always comfortable with himself, and around other people. He knows how to make women feel comfortable, and aroused. He knows that if he is always confident, women will feel comfortable around him. He lets no one walk on him, yet shows respect to others, and doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. He gets more respect at work, or school, and with women. J


[This message has been edited by Player69 (edited 06-25-2002).]
 

rimmon

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THis is very true.

It sucks but it seems like this is the way it has to be.. skipping steps is hard. You have to come to realizations on your own for it to sink in.

Im at phase 3 right now. Hopefully I can break out of it quickly or avoid the pain and move on to phase 4 and continue on the quest to be a DJ.
 

Player69

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Dude, you don't have to break out of phase 3 and go to phase 4. This is just a study of the trends I wrote up bassed off posts people seem to put up combigned with personal experiance. It is more to educate you to avoid our past mistakes and get to be a master DJ faster. I was hoping it would help people here get over the case of the one-itis faster, cause I know how hard that can be.

Being a skilled DJ is more about a state of mind rather then memorizing tactics. Even with the best tactics, if you don't feel like a DJ, you don't act like one. I am sure you will get there. Keep learning the system.

Anyway thanks for the comment.
 

Player69

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It seems my reply didn't post, so I will type it again. If this is a coppy, then oops.

Dude, you don't have to break out of phase 3 and go to phase 4. This is just a study of the trends I wrote up bassed off posts people seem to put up combigned with personal experiance. It is more to educate you to avoid our past mistakes and get to be a master DJ faster. I was hoping it would help people here get over the case of the one-itis faster, cause I know how hard that can be.
Being a skilled DJ is more about a state of mind rather then memorizing tactics. Even with the best tactics, if you don't feel like a DJ, you don't act like one. I am sure you will get there. Keep learning the system.

Anyway thanks for the comment.
 

Zircon

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In phase 5 desperately seeking phase 6 here


Still need a good kick up the ass. Still see some girls as special.

Hthat bites.
 

Player69

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*Sighs* At least you are in the motavated mood. Don't be desperate to get to phase 6. Remember, this was just an observation of the trends people make, not a guide book of what you should do, but what people on these boards seem to do and why.
 

Don diego

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home run!
I reached 8, not so long ago.
it feels good!
 

anakin

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Player69: Good, detailed post and worth the read. I think its an interesting structure for people to know 'where they are' and the phases a DJ to be may go through.
You hit the nail on the head when you said:

"Being a skilled DJ is more about a state of mind rather then memorizing tactics".

Precisely!!! I think its important to remember that it is how you feel within yourself, how happy you are within yourself, your outlook on life that reflects on the type of person you appear to the world (if you behave naturally that is).

Improving thy self is the key, and the by-product is getting a girl you like. That's the way I see it. Personally, I would always do what I WANT, for me, rather than spending my time and other resources exclusively because a chick may dig it.

[This message has been edited by anakin (edited 06-26-2002).]
 

SexPDX

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Every once in a while we will get these posts about the postualted "levels" or "stages" of Don Juanism. What inspires these exactly? Is it a preoccupation with levels and what "level" the poster is at? If so, I don't really think they are all that healthy. Besides, I think it is different from one person to the next.

Nick

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~
 

Player69

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Originally posted by SexPDX:
Every once in a while we will get these posts about the postualted "levels" or "stages" of Don Juanism. What inspires these exactly? Is it a preoccupation with levels and what "level" the poster is at? If so, I don't really think they are all that healthy. Besides, I think it is different from one person to the next.

Nick

What inspired me? I was at college earlier yesterday, and had to take a dump bad. After wards, I realized that there was no toilet papper... in any stalls. There was also no papper towels in the paper towel thing. I reached into my backpack and looked for a last semester papper that I didn't need anymore and found something similer to what I just posted here, and decided to post it up on this site.

Printer papper doesn't feel half as comfortable as the cheap **** they have in public bathrooms. True story.

Anyways, im hungry and taking off now.
 

BGMan

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In my case, it was something like this:

Phase 1 -- Clueless AFC
I started out with no clue as how to get started with ANY girl. I would get crushes on various girls, but would never try to get numbers, flirt, be cool and funny, etc. I was always waiting for the girl to approach ME and ask me out. Needless to say, this never happened, so I decided to start asking for numbers. I was too chicken to get more than two, however.

Phase 2 -- The realization of how attraction works
Same as Player69's, except with the fact that I saw that it made PERFECT sense, and I believed everything. I never actually had any girl on a pedestal. I started to clumsily apply the DJ techniques in my dealings with the ladies, but was AFC with a few of them.

Phase 3 -- Catharsis
One girl that was giving me positive signals for most of the past school year, but who I was AFC with, comes out and LJBF's me when I confront her in an e-mail about a guy living with her. I resolve, slightly misogynistically, to never act AFC again and to always be ready to NEXT someone.

Phase 4 -- Rebirth
Same as Player69's Phases 6 and 7. It has taken me a little while to get the techniques going properly, but I now consider myself a master DJ.

BGMan

[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 06-26-2002).]
 

Ronin

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YEah man u missed some in between stages. I think i'm inthe middle of 6 and 7...into 7 almost.


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Never foget your ABCs': Always Be Closing.
 

RetiredAFC

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all i can say is wow.that was me up until this point.i need to read my bible some more and apply it to everyday life Thank-you for the post Player69
 

loveprefect

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wow...this is very true.(atleast for me)

though i finally can get that special one out of my mind for now.

it feels very good...as that mental obstacle no longer affect my mind in perfecting my DJ skills.

this stuff deserve to be in the DJ bible.
 
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