Total Failure with Women

[Stavrogin]

Here's the latest:

I am now 28, still a virgin, and still have not been on a date. I don't understand why women give me their phone numbers, without my even asking, then don't want to go out with me when I call them for a date. I don't think I'm obnoxious, sarcastic, or otherwise unlikeable; I try to keep a lid on that. One girl agreed to go out with me, then changed her mind a few days later. So I must have done something right to get her to initially agree. I've also been told by several women that they'd call me back, but then they never do. Can somebody please explain what this is all about?

It seems that all the pretty girls my age are married or have boyfriends who they will marry. I frequently get the eerie feeling that I have a narrow window of opportunity that is closing fast. I don't want to be one of these 45-year-old guys chasing after sorority girls because there are no single women his age. Nor will I settle for some chick who looks like Rosie O'Donnell. I can't force myself to be attracted to an obese girl. I also don't want a divorcee with three kids and a violent ex-husband. Am I being picky?

I have started at an enormous disadvantage because I am sexually inexperienced, I am probably not that attractive, and I don't make a lot of money. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there aren't a lot of women cutting in line to meet a person fitting that description. But I am trying to be proactive. I went back to school not too long ago so I can make a ton of money within the next few years. Women still don't notice me. Will making money hand over fist and driving around in a Porsche one day compensate for my deficiencies? Or am I destined to be a spinster?

 

[Mischka]

Nobody cares, if some anonymous Stavrogin is a virgin or not. Nobody cares, if sexually-inexperienced Stavrogin is picky or not. This is _good_ news, think about it.

You don't want obese girls? Whoa, that's useful information. I bet there are other forums on the net and there is a Stavrogina complaining about whining men with no attitude. Could this include a guy like you? Are you the guy you would "settle" for (as a girl)?

Sorry Stavrogin, but...you are 28. There is indeed a "window of opportunity". It is about getting an education, becoming financially independent and getting a manly, relaxed attitude.

Tell us how you're going to get that Porsche and how it will make you irresistable. Would be more fun to read.

 

[joekerr31]

if you aren't giving men blow jobs then you haven't failed with women yet.

you just haven't scored a touchdown yet. no big deal.

stay in the game and eventually the tides will turn your way.

:box:

 

[Stavrogin]

Some people are going to end up alone. That's a fact. Who's to say that won't be me? I know this will sound like heresy, but if I haven't gotten so much as a peck on the cheek by age 28, what makes me think I ever will? How many 28-year-old virgins go on to get laid? How many virgins go on to get laid when they couldn't even do so in college, a time when girls are everywhere and their hormones are in overdrive?

 

[Latinoman]

Some people are going to end up alone. That's a fact.

LOT of people will end up alone...but not without first being with someone in their lives. Heck, I might end up alone when I'm in my 70s...and I was married and had my share of women in my life!



So...if you truly believe you are going to end up alone...you have two choices:

1- Do nothing (other than stop whining)

or

2- Do something (other than whining)

Very simple choice, if you ask me. So, what's going to be? 1 or 2?

 

[Latinoman]

make urself better looking by hitting the gym, wearing nice clothes, and doin ur hair nicely

looking good will deff help in getting girls to wanna kiss u

Read before giving advice. He is OBVIOUSLY good looking. He is getting the digits WITHOUT even asking for the numbers. He clearly stated that in his original post.

 

[WestCoaster]

Quit expecting women to do the dirty work for you. You're the MAN, ask them out. Who cares if they give you numbers, YOU choose.

I heard a stand-up comedian say this: "In the old days, the man always asked out the woman. Now with women's lib, women making more of their own choices, and being independent, the man still asks out the woman."

That's the way it is, take charge.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Going back to school is a great start. Treat yourself as a prince as Pook always says. Start believing that you're the prize. Take guitar lessons. Hit the gym. Get involved in something. Get busy. Participate in a Making Strides event (lots of women) or join your local Jaycee chapter.

 

[zerocelcius]

Read before giving advice. He is OBVIOUSLY good looking. He is getting the digits WITHOUT even asking for the numbers. He clearly stated that in his original post.

We don't actually know if girls give him their digits...sounds a little wack in my opinion.

Plus he is 28 and a Virgin. That is a lot of porn!! Somthing tells me he shots his manhood all over some tissues.

This isn't personal, but if you got out of the house and to the gym, than to the club and started hitting on girls, than you just might make 29 and not be a Virgin.

Why is it this sight is so "don't pick on the guy" We are guys what do you want us to do give him a group hug?!!

Calm Down sensitive guy, we are just joshing him. Protectors of the Virgins!

 

[Latinoman]

We don't actually know if girls give him their digits...sounds a little wack in my opinion.

Plus he is 28 and a Virgin. That is a lot of porn!! Somthing tells me he shots his manhood all over some tissues.

This isn't personal, but if you got out of the house and to the gym, than to the club and started hitting on girls, than you just might make 29 and not be a Virgin.

Why is it this sight is so "don't pick on the guy" We are guys what do you want us to do give him a group hug?!!

Calm Down sensitive guy, we are just joshing him. Protectors of the Virgins!

He provided the details.

One of them was that women offer him the numbers.

We are giving advice BASED on what he has provided us.

You choose to IGNORE that particular piece of information to accomodate your attack. So, why not choose and ignore that he might be 20 and not 27? Or that he might not be a virgin?

If we give advice....we have to stick with the information he provided. If the information if faulty...then he will get the wrong advice. And it would be entirely his fault.

Another thing...the person that gave him the advice was 22. Hardly a mature person. I'm 38.

 

[Latinoman]

Calm Down sensitive guy, we are just joshing him. Protectors of the Virgins!

Another thing...I am not protecting anyone.
I lack sensitivity too.

You can josh anyone...but keeping in mind that you are opening the door to be josh yourself. You see? I am ALREADY a MATURE Dj.

I know who is a REAL dj in this place...and I know who is not. I simply choose not to point that out, because it is irrelevant.

And to be honest with you...in my eyes...LOT of you are STILL virgin. Busting a nut in a woman does not make you a DJ or a true success. Fact is...most men are CLUELESS in how to satisfy a woman.

And I have not seen you give an advice that has made me say "Wow...this guy gets it.".

 

[Latinoman]

I read it, and his own opinion of himself was "i am probably not that attractive"........

That's a self esteem issue. Nothing to do to how people ORIGINALLY view him. That explain why he cannot get more than a date. Women notice/sense lack of confidence.

 

[Latinoman]

i am just 22, but i got more experience with gettin girls from meeting to sex than u latinoman could ever wish for, and im tellin u, u HAVE to look as good as possible and have the CONFIDENCE that u are the MAN and shes just a peice of pvssy whod be lucky to get with u.........he is 28 and never had a peck on the cheek? he is either not attractive or simply does not try at ALL - thus he needs to look as good as possible and PLAY THE GODDAMN #s GAME AND HIT ON AS MANY GOOD LOOKING GIRLS AS POSSIBLE

no other way he will gain experience

I have been having sex since I was in the sixth grade.

Preach "game" to somebody else.

 

[Stavrogin]

I didn't say anything untrue. I did not mean to suggest that tons of girls have given me their numbers. It would make no sense for me to lie that some girls have given me their numbers, then in the next breath admit to being a 28-year-old virgin. I'd rather lie about the latter.

I also didn't mean to suggest I was attractive. I stated that I thought I was not. The whole purpose of my original post was to see if anyone understood why women would give me their numbers but then not want to go out with me. The point I was driving at was that maybe I was misreading their intentions.

Which brings me back to that point. Why would a girl give a guy her number and then not want to go out with him? And if a girl gives a guy her number because she just wants to be friends, why would she then not want to jsut hang out with him?

 

[WestCoaster]

Don't worry ab out why a girl gives you her number or not. You're analyzing the psyche of women, which is stupid. Women do things just because, or because it feels good at the moment, or for no reason at all. They don't know why they act the way they do, they just act that way.

Worry about numero uno and ask out women. Worrying about the actions of women? That will put you in the nuthouse in no time.

Also, who cares if they want to hang out with you or not? YOU choose, YOU ask them out on dates, YOU decide who hangs out with whom.

Please, don't analyze women ... I've wasted a lot of emotional energy doing that B.S. ... I'd rather analyze why my favorite college football team is struggling in pass defense, it's much more enriching.

 

[zerocelcius]

Another thing...I am not protecting anyone.
I lack sensitivity too.

You can josh anyone...but keeping in mind that you are opening the door to be josh yourself. You see? I am ALREADY a MATURE Dj.

I know who is a REAL dj in this place...and I know who is not. I simply choose not to point that out, because it is irrelevant.

And to be honest with you...in my eyes...LOT of you are STILL virgin. Busting a nut in a woman does not make you a DJ or a true success. Fact is...most men are CLUELESS in how to satisfy a woman.

And I have not seen you give an advice that has made me say "Wow...this guy gets it.".

OK OK calm down! OR don't! DO what you want.

But I have to say calling people Virgins is going a bit far don't you think? That is as low as you could go, and I don't appreciate it at all. Shame on YOU! Name caller.

Sorry I have let you down in my posts. I hope that eventually at least one of my 400+ posts I said somthing remotly helpfull. Have got a lot of PM's on my Sex posts. well again .... back to topic

I really don't see chicks giving this guy their number out of the blue. Could happen out of sepathy or somthing, but that is too sad to think about.
Being shy and poor is bad, since being poor is hard to fix I suggest being less shy....Hell even outgoing.

From your post I would say you have good communication skills. Use that to your advantage. There has to be somthing in your approach that shuts you down with these ladies.

What do you say to them when you call?

When do they give you their numbers?

How often do you get these digits?

How long do you wait to call?

Do you talk to them before you get the numbers?

Lots of unknowns here.

Open for Joshing...Zero out!

 

[Latinoman]

6th grade - well done!

in that case, u should know that this guy doesnt even TRY and he should be going out, and trying over and over and over.....from wat it sounds he makes it seem like he hasnt gotten enough #s - even if he SUCKS with girls, playing the #s game will result in him getting layed, and that experience will carry over into making him better at dealing with girls, aka a self-fulfilling prophecy

I agree with you.

Make no mistake...I feel ZERO sympathy for him (and for that matter anyone in similar situation). And I think I was a little harsh replying to you...considering that I typically ask people to better themselves by staying fit and healthy and improving their careers, etc. So, everything is cool.

 

[Latinoman]

dude go get 50 #s, i bet 35 of those will not ever see u again, while the other 15 will go on a date with u and u can end up fvcking ONE at the very veyr very very least........maybe 5-7 if your game becomes good - so if u get 50 #s in even 3 months, that would mean u'd be fvcking 20-28 girls in a span of one year - even I dont do that much!!!

u see what ur problem is/??? u get 5 #s and none were interested, and now u assume u cant have success - BULLSHYT!

go get those 50#s, play the numbers game, dont use such a small sample size to determine that girls NEVER want to see u after giving u their #

oh yea, dont give them teh virgin vibe........lie if u have to, no older sexy lady will want a man who cant sexuall please her - go read DonJuanForever's post in the Tips section about sexual state, its called "I Finally Have it!!" or something like that

EXACTLY!

 

[Latinoman]

OK OK calm down! OR don't! DO what you want.

But I have to say calling people Virgins is going a bit far don't you think? That is as low as you could go, and I don't appreciate it at all. Shame on YOU! Name caller.

Sorry I have let you down in my posts. I hope that eventually at least one of my 400+ posts I said somthing remotly helpfull. Have got a lot of PM's on my Sex posts. well again .... back to topic

I really don't see chicks giving this guy their number out of the blue. Could happen out of sepathy or somthing, but that is too sad to think about.
Being shy and poor is bad, since being poor is hard to fix I suggest being less shy....Hell even outgoing.

From your post I would say you have good communication skills. Use that to your advantage. There has to be somthing in your approach that shuts you down with these ladies.

What do you say to them when you call?

When do they give you their numbers?

How often do you get these digits?

How long do you wait to call?

Do you talk to them before you get the numbers?

Lots of unknowns here.

Open for Joshing...Zero out!

I know young women that would give their number for NO reason at all as to have a friend (no sex).

I know others that would give their number because they have an interest. However, MY experience is that when this happens is after the man has shown some confidence or done/said something that makes that woman want to know a little more about him.

I know others that give their numbers and then regret it.

Whichever the case...he has to make up his mind..."friend" or "sex". If he wants sex...then he has nothing to lose by calling and PRACTICING on his approach. Like the other guy said...he has NOTHING to lose.

If he wants friendship...then that's cool.

But he cannot have both.

Women sense "desperation". No woman wants to be with a desperate man.

If I was him...I would act a little cucky. I would act a little confident. And I would act funny. Now...I AM all three...but he is not. So, he will have to act...if he wants to get out the virgin part. There is no way around that.

And while he is "acting"...he can also practice and improve with his life.

You are right...he has good communication skills. He just don't know how to apply them.

 

[lee36044]

Bulls**t

Here's the latest:

I have started at an enormous disadvantage because I am sexually inexperienced, I am probably not that attractive, and I don't make a lot of money. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there aren't a lot of women cutting in line to meet a person fitting that description. But I am trying to be proactive. I went back to school not too long ago so I can make a ton of money within the next few years. Women still don't notice me. Will making money hand over fist and driving around in a Porsche one day compensate for my deficiencies? Or am I destined to be a spinster?

Bull****! Women will cut in line to get a chance at what you describe! It's all up to you!

From 20 to 28 I was a drifter. Not a glamorous bad boy or a criminal, I just liked to move. My average job was as a salvage yard parts puller (about $30.00/day pay). I lived in dumps and basically had nothing. I could carry everything I owned in a duffle and backpack! My idea of stylish looks was battered jeans, out of style boots and a T-shirt. I was also a late bloomer sexually. Painfully shy around females too! Even had the same self esteem problems.

The point here is that none of that stopped me from getting sex whenever I wanted! No transport? No problem ... kept enough girls cars running that they would take me anywhere I needed to go. I even had gorgeous women wanting to give me a better place to stay, their bod, sometimes even planning real long term relationships around a just few weeks together!

It's not about the money. It isn't even about the looks. It's about confidence! Living that life, I could relocate to any city in the US on less than fifty bucks and know I would be stable in no time! I had to develop good people instincts to survive. And it showed!

I NEVER chased women at all, partly the shyness, partly I just didn't care at the time! The one thing I did do was talk to people and help them out when I could! Not as part of the "game" so often referred to here. Just treating people right. It payed off ... people might not like me at first, but I got noticed. And the babes loved that I can get by without you and really don't even give a **** about you attitude!

So back to the beginning. It's all up to you! Keep on convincing yourself the ladies don't want you and they won't! Keep putting off trying because you need more money or a better ride and it still won't matter when you get them. The only difference between poor and lonely and rich and lonely is that lonely rich guys can afford more and better porn! It won't matter if you buy a Porsche or a Harley (what chick can resist a ride on one?), it won't matter if you walk in the clubs passing out hundred dollar bills, if you don't build your own confidence and DJ skills now ... the only thing the bux will get ya is used!

Oh yeah ... dating sorority girls when you are forty five is an enormous confidence builder ... especially when you aren't rich. At 46 I can tell you it's true from experience. I can also tell you there are plenty in my age group available and worth dating too. Why limit yourself? Life IS what you make of it! Not what the stereotypes want you to believe!

Regards