Torn mentally as of late, advice wanted.

DonChino

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Exactly like the title says I have been torn mentally in these recent weeks. I don't know exactly what it is, I have been going forward socially and now I'm at a crossroad. To elaborate more, I have been trying to avoid social interaction. Reason being is it's stressful for me trying to make conversation flow. I have three girls I can call up and set up a "date" but I have been avoiding it like the plague.

Banter for me is VERY difficult for some reason. With these three girls in particular I feel pressed to carry conversation. I have interacted with other girls that wouldn't quit talking and it was very easy to have flowing convo as I would just make sporadic comments and they keep on talking. But I can't do the reverse. Does that show low interest by the girls in particular if I feel so pressed to force conversation? I mean they gave me their number and showed interest. But it seems I'm putting in all the effort.

This is on the same subject but on a side note/question:
One of the girls I texted new years night through a comment out of the blue and I ended up deleting her number
me: "happy new year!"
her: "U2 but leave me alone" **this comment literally blew my mind because I didn't expect the "leave me alone" at all**
me: "wtf? alright its w/e haha"
-10min later-
I get a call I let it go to voice-mail and its a guy using her phone saying to the effect "I'm her boyfriend, shes not feeling well right now but find a new friend"

I literally laughed after hearing the message and delete her number immediately. Three days later I get a text with her apologizing saying she was drunk and her friend (lol?) had her phone. Now should I just keep her nexted or should I follow up? Keep in mind she is attractive should I try something with her just for the experience regardless of outcome?

In my mind the proper course of action is to say "**** it" and set up something with all three and just do it for the experience. If I can't carry the convo because they aren't putting in then it will be awkward but in the end it's better than not doing anything. If anything the I don't give a **** attitude will help me and I can just experiment. I'm not getting any younger and I'm still a virgin at 21 years old haha. 1 more class from associates and I can transfer to university, living at home is draining the life out of me. I make a step foward and then I have the extreme urge to make a few steps back but damnit I can't let myself fall back into recluse mode.
 

beatoven

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DonChino said:
Exactly like the title says I have been torn mentally in these recent weeks. I don't know exactly what it is, I have been going forward socially and now I'm at a crossroad. To elaborate more, I have been trying to avoid social interaction. Reason being is it's stressful for me trying to make conversation flow. I have three girls I can call up and set up a "date" but I have been avoiding it like the plague.

Banter for me is VERY difficult for some reason. With these three girls in particular I feel pressed to carry conversation. I have interacted with other girls that wouldn't quit talking and it was very easy to have flowing convo as I would just make sporadic comments and they keep on talking. But I can't do the reverse. Does that show low interest by the girls in particular if I feel so pressed to force conversation? I mean they gave me their number and showed interest. But it seems I'm putting in all the effort.
instead of bantering, why not do something with them? By engaging in an activity, you'll have a source of discussion and won't have to worry about forcing conversation.

in my experience, it's best to keep calls brief and to the point. Ask her out, don't drag the convo on or you WILL wonder why she's suddenly not interested.

This is on the same subject but on a side note/question:
One of the girls I texted new years night through a comment out of the blue and I ended up deleting her number
me: "happy new year!"
her: "U2 but leave me alone" **this comment literally blew my mind because I didn't expect the "leave me alone" at all**
me: "wtf? alright its w/e haha"
-10min later-
I get a call I let it go to voice-mail and its a guy using her phone saying to the effect "I'm her boyfriend, shes not feeling well right now but find a new friend"

I literally laughed after hearing the message and delete her number immediately. Three days later I get a text with her apologizing saying she was drunk and her friend (lol?) had her phone. Now should I just keep her nexted or should I follow up? Keep in mind she is attractive should I try something with her just for the experience regardless of outcome?

In my mind the proper course of action is to say "**** it" and set up something with all three and just do it for the experience. If I can't carry the convo because they aren't putting in then it will be awkward but in the end it's better than not doing anything. If anything the I don't give a **** attitude will help me and I can just experiment. I'm not getting any younger and I'm still a virgin at 21 years old haha. 1 more class from associates and I can transfer to university, living at home is draining the life out of me. I make a step foward and then I have the extreme urge to make a few steps back but damnit I can't let myself fall back into recluse mode.
I'd call her, ask her if she wants to meet up and do something. Use her reaction as a gauge. If she says yes, you're good. If she hesitates/declines, no use wasting your energy on her. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen.

also, remember this quote: "fortune favors the bold." Make your move, even if she says no, every time you go through the process it gets easier.


hope I could help.
 

DonChino

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beatoven said:
also, remember this quote: "fortune favors the bold." Make your move, even if she says no, every time you go through the process it gets easier.

hope I could help.
Yes, you did help. I really do need to make it my purpose to keep on making a move until they say no; I tend to think for them when I should make it come out their mouth and not mine.
 
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