too old for no LTR?

[Alpha King]

I think it's safe to say that most of us on this forum want to be in some sort of long-term relationship at some point in our lives. I haven't been in any LTRs myself, and I'm 24 (the longest I've seen a girl consistently is 5 weeks). When I was 21 if I told someone I had never been in an LTR, they didn't make a big deal of it. Nowadays, though, I'm starting to get a puzzled look, like "what is wrong with you?"

This leads me to believe that at some age you're pretty much expected to have been in an LTR. Being in an LTR is one of those rites of passages, and there may be problems if you haven't had this experience. Girls will label you immature, a player, or worse yet an AFC. What age do you think this is (in America)?

If you're wondering why I'm asking. I expect that eventually the girls I will meet who I might be in an LTR with will be in my extended social circle. It's easy to lie to girl you meet at a bar and tell her you were in some relationship, but if it's a girl who knows you and your friends you can't hide the truth for long. Also, this is a relevant question for me now b/c I've met a handful of girls who've been into me, but my reciprocating interest -- though not low -- hasn't been high enough yet for me to justify getting rid of my fun with multiple girls and latching on to one chick. I've met a couple of girls in the last 2-3 years that I have genuinely liked and who I was interested in being in an LTR with, but things didn't work out with these 2 girls. Should I lower my standards to get the much needed relationship notch on my belt or am I just smoking crack and I should continue to see girls casually until something works out with a girl I'm really into?

 

[frivolousz21]

and I should continue to see girls casually until something works out with a girl I'm really into?

yes

 

[penkitten]

dont settle and sell out your hopes and dreams of what you want in life out of loneliness.
if a chick you date is not what you can be happy with, dont get into a long term relationship with her.
nothing is wrong with you!
more people should be waiting for the right one before they make commitments.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I hate the idea of being 40 and single. At some point you get to old to be considered marriage material. Who wants to marry some old chick; The hot 25 yr old will be chasing men under 35. Being a player for too long ruins the chance of having an ideal marriage.

Time to get jumped on.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

It is essential by the time you turn 30, you must have at least TWO LTR lasting 9 months and more. Women will overwhelmly agree that a man who is well seasoned and trained in relationships is able to deal with women as well as life better with a woman if he is experienced.

Fck pretty boys and puas.

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by Alpha King
When I was 21 if I told someone I had never been in an LTR, they didn't make a big deal of it. Nowadays, though, I'm starting to get a puzzled look, like "what is wrong with you?"

So why in the world are you going around talking about LTRs with people?

It's pretty rare that someone interrogates me on my LTRs. Why does this keep coming up for you?

 

[Vincent Freeman]

First of all I want to say that there is nothing wrong with with saying you have not had a LTR. Even if a girl asks, you can always say that you have just not found the right girl, doesn't mean you have not dated. Also, it shows that you know what you want which gives you a nice head start of the game by indirectly demonstrating your in charge.
Second, I would not exactly recommned you to drop your standards. Rather reevaluate where you go to find girls. For example I have never really had a LTR with some chic I picked up at a club or bar. Rather the library, Starbucks, or even the bookstore. Maybe it's because I am a medical student and I expect to be with a girl who is mentally stimulated and can hold a conversation. But either way, in general these women tend to have lives of their own and have a greater understanding of maturity. In a bar, your most likely to run into an AW who probably can't even take care of herself, let alone support you.
Lastly, my advice to you (despite what many people in this site might advocate) is to be patient and let it come to you. In other words, don't go out specifically to find a wife. Shop around and take your time. Kind of like shopping for a car. You don't go out and buy the first car you see. On the contrary, you test drive them and see which one you like best. So don't be in a hurry, women are plentiful. Good luck to you!

 

[bobbob]

If you have to lie, just lie! I'm 27 and I've never had a gf, so u damn sure can believe that I would never admit that to a girl i wanted to date.

I remember being on a date with a girl a few years ago and when she asked me about my previous relationship, I just said "well it started out good and it was fun for a while, and then it didn't really work out in the end".

See, that's generic and would hold true of any relationship that ends! Then change the subject.

Lie lie lie lie lie. Nearly everyone who is ****ing women is lying about something or other.

peace

 

[Alpha King]

Apocalypse, I don't keep getting interrogated. There's only a few people who have bluntly asked me about my LTRs. However, I'm in graduate school, so it's a tight social world for me. The problem is that even if a few people know, then girls who are interested in me tend to ask these friends and acquaintences about my LTR history. You're right, though, it is best to keep this sort of information only among your closest peeps, and I try to do that.

Bobbob, I've definitely lied or evaded questions about this in the past. One girl I was going out with asked me on our 3rd date about my previous relationships. I tried to be funny and evasive about it by talking about the girl I used to play 'house' with when I was 4 years old and how she was 'the one.' On our next date she continued to press the matter, but I didn't say anything. (BTW, I liked this girl, but she moved to a different city shortly after our 4th date.)

Vincent, I have been evaluating my strategy. I don't think where I pick up chicks is so much of an issue since I find most of them in the university through common friends. I think the biggest hole is that most of the girls I go for are a couple of years or more younger than me. A substantial number of these 19 - 23 year old chicks don't seem mature enough for me to invest all my attention on (and the ones who have been have either been in relatioships at the time or things just didn't work out between her and me). So, maybe when I am older and I'm going after girls who are 24 - 27 the pool of girls I go after might provide a better chance of finding the right kind of girl for an LTR?