too good looking?

[Take No Dirt]

Sorry to hear that, bclarke675. That is a bummer.

High maintenance wives with unresolved emotional baggage will drag you down like a block of concrete deep into the Hudson River for sure. Now that you're a freebird, you get to put into practise all the DJ principles and techniques to your heart's contentment.

It's like you've been given a new lease on life so live it with gusto!

 

[bclarke675]

Absolutely!

 

[Don the Legend]

Originally posted by bclarke675:
I thought I was lucky when I met my ex-wife, because she liked both things you mention, Take No Dirt! However, she had other major problems, and once she figured out she wasn't going to change me to accept her warped views of certain things, she left me. At first, it was a major bummer, because I was in it for the long haul, even with the disagreements. Now, I feel like she did me a BIG FAVOR! For the first time in my life, thanks to your (collective) help and what I learned from her, I'm becoming a real ladies' man, and thoroughly enjoying it!

Hey Bclarke,

I am happy for you. She did do you a great favor. You have the power to determine what kind of life you want. You are no longer have to live your life at someone else's terms, only yours. Keep up the great work.

Legend


------------------
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

"Do not fear failure." George S. Patton

"Do not make excuses, whether it s your fault or not."....George S. Patton

 

[Walt]

But I thought girls didn't care about looks

....

 

[jose]

Palerider, i feel for you, and its so hard to find people who understand you. From other guys, i get criticism when I complain; but people have to know that when you are better looking than the girl, the girl almost treats you as if you were worse than her.

Why? She doesn't feel comfortable around you. She is partly afraid you will find her unattractive, and the other part of her is being introverted, afraid of doing something stupid that will REALLY make you dislike her. Instead, she acts like a doe in the path of bright headlights. I've experienced this many times, and i just didn't know what to make of it. She pretends to not like you, she doesn't talk much, and gives none of the normal buying signals.

What do a lot of guys think? Most guys initially believe she is interested, but then they second-guess themselves, and later believe their initial gut feelings were wrong.

What must you do instead? Come in neither high nor low, & ease under her defense. Then, put your aggressive/passive playa skills to work. Work her up, work her down, and then give her an outlet for all the emotions she is feeling. That's YOU buddy. And if you played it right, she will be ready for anything she is comfortable & experienced with. In a lot of cases, she is not gonna have sex with you if she is a virgin. She is not gonna give you a bj if she is a religious fanatic. What she WILL do, is go as far as she's gone before, and probably something she has considered doing. This is not a hard and fast rule, because if a virgin is considering losing it, this is your lucky night.

 

[Oxide]

i just love dressing up nice and walking around mall looking at girl's eyes, making them look down. cause babe, im the ****.

 

[bp1974]

I loved reading this post.

Now when I see a really good-looking guy, I can feel comforted that he has just as many problems with women as I do.

(Don't burst the bubble - it works for me)

bp1974

 

[daFunkJunkie]

I know what you mean. I can spot whether a chick is into a guy a mile a way. But for some reason always find a way to "write off" whether a girl likes me. I am completly oblivious. I always find some excuse to jsutify her flirtatiousness if she is coming on strong. Then there is when you find out from someelse ( in my case usually one of my friends who is a girl) how so and so thinks you are hot etc. SO you talk to them next time, knowing what they had said, and they seem so indisstant. So I know what you mean. Also, why are the uglier/heavier ones more vocal about what they think of you. THey have some nerve!!!

 

[backbreaker]

funny story:

2 fridays ago I went to see I-Robot. While I was there I saw my younger cousin who is 18. She was with a girlfriend of hers, who is cute, not extremely hot or anything, but cute. I checked her out and to be honest she didnt' seem all that interested, she wouldn't even look at me. I decided it was in my best interest not to make a move.

3 days later this girl calls me and leaves a message saying that she wanted to talk to me. Turns out that she was petrified to talk to me and went to my grand mother to get my phone number.

I asked her why she acted the way she did at the movies and she said she was just scared and very nervous.

 

[John Dope]

I know what Palerider is talking about.

and I want to thank Don the Legend for his advice, will definatly try that.

 

[lostpony]

I've been reading through this site for quite some time. I can't believe it took me this long to find this thread.

I have trouble dating. I should not have trouble dating.

I look like Tom Cruise.

I $hit thee not: my nose is a little smaller and rounder, and I have slightly darker skin (I'm 1/4 American Indian, so I have a sort of perma-tan), but I look so much like Tom Cruise that people tell me -- ./at least/ once a month -- "You know who you look like?" "Yes," I say, "I look like Tom Cruise."

I have a great stomach, perfect teeth, black hair, and ice-blue eyes. I work out five days a week. I was a Sergeant in the Marines in Desert Storm (I'm 33), with a bullet scar on my arm to show off; self-confidence and bearing is definitely not my problem.

I have conditioned myself to never say "um." I speak three languages fluently -- English, French, and Russian. I wear Italian shoes and a Movado watch. I drive an Audi A6 during the day and a black convertible 1967 Boss 302 Mustang at night. I work as a consultant, so I'm constantly meeting new women every couple of weeks. I should, rightfully, be getting more @$$ than a Kennedy.

Now, I exist outside the social norm, so that works against me. I travel to Europe a lot for work, I was never in a frat so the social conditioning for the meat-market was never quite ingrained into me, and I don't have a cadre of guy-buddies I dress up with to go hit the town. I am definitely a red card among the black cards.

That said, I get numbers fairly regularly, but girls rarely call me back. I've dated a couple of drink/dinner w****s, but the last time I got even remotely laid (in this country) was six months ago; after professionally and skillfully (didja read the Bourne thread? Marines, baby) pummeling a guy in a bar, the chick he'd been pestering met me outside (I got thrown out, of course), took me to her car "to show me something," and blew me. And she has never returned my calls.

This weekend I got stood up TWICE. Friday AND Saturday, two no-show/no-calls.

I constantly hear how gorgeous I am -- but never from a girl herself until/unless we're having sex -- it's always from one of her friends, the same as was said above: 'She thinks you're gorgeous.' But girls never -- NEVER -- show any interest in me. At least, not to my face.

Two weekends ago I saw a girl in the bar's mirror reflection making hand-grasping motions at me as she walked by. I went over and talked to her -- cold fish. Aloof, not interested, nodding her head in time with the music. Kept staring at her friend with her eyes wide, like, "What the hell is this guy doing talking to me?"

The sad secret is that they are just as f---ed up by gorgeous guys as we are by gorgeous girls.

What's interesting is that, traveling in Europe, I score almost every night that I go out looking. No exaggeration; sometimes with American girls, but usually with French girls, who are not necessarily as slutty per se, but who are far more forward and unabashed about their sex drive. If a French girl is attracted to you, you'll know -- she'll be climbing inside your shirt.

I think we need to make American women know that it's okay to be horny, and it's acceptable behavior for a girl to grab a guy she's attracted to by the back of the head in a club and say, "F--- me."

Keep the suggestions coming; I'm open to anything.

 

[Oxide]

Little thing to think about:

You know how you see a goregeous babe..just stunning.. every guy looks at her as she walks by. If you are not very confident/expecting to be liked by a lot of girls ... you will start making up a story of this girl's life : "probably rich parents. probably a great rich successful boyfriend"... she is not so high on your peidistal you cant even raise your head that high...

but then this "idol" approaches YOU. you, a simple, insignificant human... what is wrong?! Is your idol not perfect? why in the world is he going for you? is he trying to make fun of you? what in the world is HIS problem?




ok.. now a little more down to earth..lostpony. I have found this out a while ago man, if a girl isnt down to earth, if she pulls out "b1tch shields" just cause she doesnt want to be easy... then leave her ass alone. i honestly dont want to go through all that bs just to talk to her.. when there are many other girls WHO WILL BE DOWN TO EARTH when you try talking to them.

Are you arrogant? are you too ****y? Simplicity is the way. Talk to girls like you are... YOU. You are not tom cruise.. you might be the sh1t, but as long as you know it on the INSIDE, you dont have to prove it to every girl you meet (hey, look i drive and audi and look like tom cruise!)..

Be Real.

 

[One on One]

I have this exact problem. I basically look like the man of any girl's dreams (except I don't have much of a tan). I'm tall, cut up, and I have blue eyes, dark facial features. I catch looks everywhere I go and it makes me feel damn intimidated.

It really sucks to walk into a bar and immediately you see at least 5 pairs of eyes follow you and then proceed to constantly check you out the whole night. This happens to me everywhere. At the gym, I catch girls checking me out all the time.

It's difficult to start a conversation with these girls because if you start with small talk, they'll be all nervous like "oh my God this guy is talking to me." It's like people worship my looks, man, it sucks. The constant attention just sucks. I'm shy so I don't know how to deal with this. Like Tupac said, "Now I know how it feels for the hottest girl to walk into a club and get rushed by 5 guys before she's ready for it."

 

[disciple]

I never thought I'd find a discussion on this topic. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I did because I used to think it was only me. I understand exactly what everyone is going through. I'm 6 foot 2 with a muscular build, striking good looks, and eyes that one woman described as "bedroom eyes". When your taller, bigger, or better looking than most of the people you encounter, you automatically stand out and receive alot of attention. I've experienced the good and the not so good sides of this. I would be a liar if I said that having a bangin chick pay you extra attention didn't feel good for the ego at times, but when you always feel like you are the center of attention, you start to feel like your on stage in front of a crowd and everybody is watching you and every move you make. That part of it does start to suck after awhile. Sometimes I put up my own version of the ice shield that women put up when they get alot of attention from men. But I don't like to walk around with a look that says, "Leave me the f*ck alone!"
But what pisses me off is when I see a girl showing signs of interest and then I say something to her and her whole attitude and demeanor change. It's almost as though they just want to look at you and enjoy the fantasy but when you open your mouth and say something its like you interrupted their dream or fantasy and they look irritated. Or, for example, there's a girl at my job I was talking to and everybody in the office kept telling me she liked me and I could tell how she acted around me that she was attracted to me. To make a long story short, I got her number and set up a date. I called her the day of the date and she gave me some bullsh*t about family coming into town unexpectantly and asked to postpone it. The next week at work, I find out from another girl that she had some boyfriend picking her up from work everyday. So I put it all together. She had a boyfriend but enjoyed flirting with the cute guy in the office even though she had no intention of doing anything with me. Isn't that some sh*t?
She was just using me to help pass the time during the day while she went home to her boyfriend at night. I'm not even going to mention all the chicks that I encounter that act cold, aloof, and uninterested for all the reasons that other people have already stated. At times I haven't really known how to act or what I should do. Then there are times I get hit on by some girl I have no attraction to and its sometimes hard to get rid of them.
When it comes to approaching women, I feel my most aggressive and bold when I take the initiative like a lion hunting a gazelle. I feel like a strong aggressive man. But oftentimes around women, I feel more like the gazelle than the lion. Imagine a herd of gazelles all staring at a lion like HE's the prey. That's how I feel. It makes me feel indecisive because I don't feel like the aggressive one anymore and it makes it much harder for me to approach. To be honest, it all gets really confusing. I'll just say one last thing. It is true that alot of gorgeous women are afraid to be hurt and have low self esteem. Think about all the supermodels, actresses, and magazine chicks that have had everything from drug problems to eating disorders. You know why they had those problems? Because their self esteem becomes tied into the attention and approval they get from others based on their looks. Understand this: if you base your self esteem on other people's attention or approval, you really become a slave to their approval. It makes you weak and insecure because you don't control the source of your self esteem, OTHER people do. I think that is why a gorgeous woman being rejected or otherwise hurt by a very good looking guy is worse for them than by a more average looking guy because it is a severe blow to their self esteem. I've known hot chicks who had some slob for a boyfriend and had some good looking guys trying to get with her. But later I found out she was hurt by some good looking guy in the past and she wants to protect herself from that pain and instead chooses a guy whom she feels is less of a threat to her ego. Well, that's my two cents or 2 dollars depending on how you look at it.

 

[disciple]

I want to add something to the last thing I just said. Yes, if you base your self esteem on the attention or approval you get from others, you become a slave to their approval. That not only applies to beautiful women, but it also applies to good looking guys. I have been guilty of this at times. Think about it from a woman's perspective. If an attractive woman wants to get a quick self-esteem boost, what do they do? Put on a sexy outfit and go out with their girlfriends to a club or someplace and show off their stuff and get a whole lot of attention from men. This makes them feel good for a while until the "high" from this wears off and then she returns to her everyday routine maybe even boring uneventful life and all of her insecurities start kicking in again. Then she does the same thing next week. Do you see what I'm talking about? A good looking guy can do the same thing. I've walked into a room and felt and saw alot of females eyeing me and I felt like a mack. Then the next day, I run into one of those females and she won't even give me the time of day. Then I started to wonder, hey, did I look better yesterday than I did today? I'm I dressed so much better? Did I say something stupid? Maybe she wasn't really attracted to me in the first place? Do you see where I'm going with this? It makes you insecure and start second guessing yourself? How can you be a smooth, effective Don Juan in that kind of mind state?

 

[misterethoughts]

hmm this funny this happened to me too

you know whats funny? is that i have gotten the same i be checkin this girl out and she be checking me out all day and **** and then when i try to speak to her she seems that like she just doesn't want to talk and she they keep smilin and smilin non stop but like they just look at me and got nothing to say i dunno people tlel me i am good looking and that she likes me and she had always liked me and **** i am like how come she didn't want to come talk to me and they tell me that the were shy and **** that i might reject them and ****.... go figures...

 

[cyjay201]

This has happened to me more then on one occasion, in fact it happened last week when the girl seemed interested and I got her number. I was getting frustrated because she hadn't called me back, she later did. We went out once, and she didnt seem to talk much.

However when I first saw her all she would do is just stare and smile at me.

 

[Celadus]

Being too good looking, especially in a small college, is rough. I've had the same problems everyone else has mentioned. I'll get over the overattention from girls, but my biggest problem are the jealous guys.

Does anyone run into a lot of jealous guys? When I'm out in the real world it isn't too bad because most people have matured, but guys my age, especially at this small college, are starting to hate me because of all the women that talk about me.

I know I shouldn't care about what they think, but I am trying to figure out if it happens to a lot or people or if there is somethign I can work on. I'm very shy. I think they all have "shy-jackass confusion"

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by disciple
She had a boyfriend but enjoyed flirting with the cute guy in the office even though she had no intention of doing anything with me. Isn't that some sh*t?

Happens to me all the f*cking time. Girls with boyfriends just want my attention for the ego stroke.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by cyjay201
This has happened to me more then on one occasion, in fact it happened last week when the girl seemed interested and I got her number. I was getting frustrated because she hadn't called me back, she later did. We went out once, and she didnt seem to talk much.

However when I first saw her all she would do is just stare and smile at me.

I've got this treatment to the point that the woman wasn't just aloof, but almost rude to me.