Too forward - caution

[Jariel]

Just thought I'd pass on a little wisdom gained from my disastrous experience tonight.

I went on a date with a girl I've been getting to know over recent weeks. Things started off very well and she was right off the mark showing her interest. She was kinoing me, she barely broke eye contact at all, asked me lots of questions (some of which were very intimate - i.e. sexual fantasy, most unusual place I've had sex etc). Indirectly, she even told me she was interested.

She was coming on strong, no doubt about it and at one point she said: "I like a man who is spontaneous".

So I kissed her.

She didn't react. She froze up and was completely shocked, and not in a good way. She accused me of being too forward and the date went downhill from there. She continued dropping hints and signals, but I backed off and couldn't recover. We cut the date a LOT shorter than intended.

Don't make my mistake. Take your time and don't put too much trust in signals.

 

[sapphire]

If she was giving such positive signals how can she be shocked that you went for the kiss? Sounds like a c0ck teaser to me.

Or maybe you all of a sudden tried to kiss her without first warming her up with a bit of kino.

I always guage interest with kino before I go in for the kiss.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by sapphire
If she was giving such positive signals how can she be shocked that you went for the kiss? Sounds like a c0ck teaser to me.

That's what I thought. Probably using me to feed her ego.

 

[seasonedplayer]

Watch out mate, she is an attention w**re

I fell in love with a girl like that and am in still in love her and have been completely been burned.

Same situation, on the first date, she was saying things like 'if we are together in a month, you can come to my brother's wedding.' When I went to kiss, she froze up. Same thing on the next date. Every time, she would hint, I would get close and then she would push me away. Anyway, it turns out she was f***ing a married guy from her work at the time and was telling her friends she was never interested in me. She was simply enjoying my attention.

These girls are easily spotted and often suffer from borderline personality such as histrionic personality disorder. Telltale signs:
1. Lots of male friends
2. ugly female friends
3. put a lot of effort into looks (e.g makeup, solarium)
4. can get moody
5. often had a poor relationship with one of their parents
6. touchy feely
7. prone to getting into relationships with work colleagues
8. in touch her ex boyfriends

These women are lookign for social recognition and status. They will be with someone they believe will deliver them status. e.g super rich guy, drug dealer, nightclub owner, comedian, whatever.

The best thing to do with attention hos is to burn them

 

[Jariel]

I think you are right on the mark.

She has since contacted me to "officially" tell me she doesn't want to see me again. I didn't reply, so an hour later I got another message telling me she had a sh1t date. I replied "Yeah, good thing we didn't make a night of it. All the best".

She replied to that telling me she couldn't wait to get away. It seems she's trying to provoke me now so I'll ignore it. She really isn't worth it and I'll be glad to forget about her and our date.

 

[sapphire]

Sounds like a real psycho. Didn't you get any warning signs that you were dealing with a *****?

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by sapphire
Sounds like a real psycho. Didn't you get any warning signs that you were dealing with a *****?

She seemed really sweet and adorable when I first met her and the same on the phone. Tonight is the first time I've seen this side of her. I was actually quite shocked by her heavy flirting.

I have to say, every time I make a date with a stranger they turn out to be b1tches or attention hos. I'm probably best sticking to my old strategy of getting to know them (in person) before dating them.

 

[bossdog]

To the poster:

Are you looking for a wife of just to have sex with lots of fine women?

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I don't believe you fell in this trap!

Jariel do you remember what you said on this post:

I dated a girl EXACTLY like this, found all these things out about her, got used and manipulated, got pushed into the friend zone (or rather her "someone to hug and flirt with in public" zone) and even when I was dating her, she flaunted me like a trophy and used me to make her female friends jealous (since apparently they all adored me). Also, when we had sex, she made sure everyone heard about it.

Oh and she purposely made a point of flirting with all her guy friends right in front of me, which I found totally undermining. She also tried to make out that she was educating me about sex, women and relationships, making me feel totally naive.

Then when she finished with me, she tried turning the situation round, started speaking down to me and tried to make out that she hurt me and basically made herself look good at my expense!

When I tried calling her on all her bullsh*t, she pulled the old guilt trip, "you mean the world to me", crying routine and I fell for it!

Maybe I just got very unlucky finding this girl, but she was exactly as you describe and did me more harm than anyone else I've met.

Be sure this girl you're talking about is the SAME as the one you've posted in the past! If she was all interested and talking about sex why would she pull back??? Actually when a girl is giving those sings it's because she's indirectly saying "take me"!

Facts:

Things started off very well (too good to be true)

She was right off the mark showing her interest (typical)

She was kinoing me (they're masters at this)

She barely broke eye contact at all, asked me lots of questions, some of which were very intimate (typical)

She was coming on strong (MAJOR warning sign!!!)

When I kissed her she was shocked (read below!)

Conclusion:

She's a c0ck tease man!

Did you feel confused?

Those type make you believe they're interested and when you go for it, you get NOTHING. Confusion is their favorite weapon. It was just another sick game!

She played you!

 

[TesuqueRed]

rapo player?

 

[DeathDealer]

this is gold guys, read it. some of us guys have been burned by these girls that use their "signs" to play us like a violin and if we were going to try to get intimate (the kiss test) they act all awkward. never believe in the signs, not even hand holding, not even eye contact. go for the kiss.

Originally posted by seasonedplayer
Watch out mate, she is an attention w**re

I fell in love with a girl like that and am in still in love her and have been completely been burned.

Same situation, on the first date, she was saying things like 'if we are together in a month, you can come to my brother's wedding.' When I went to kiss, she froze up. Same thing on the next date. Every time, she would hint, I would get close and then she would push me away. Anyway, it turns out she was f***ing a married guy from her work at the time and was telling her friends she was never interested in me. She was simply enjoying my attention.

These girls are easily spotted and often suffer from borderline personality such as histrionic personality disorder. Telltale signs:
1. Lots of male friends
2. ugly female friends
3. put a lot of effort into looks (e.g makeup, solarium)
4. can get moody
5. often had a poor relationship with one of their parents
6. touchy feely
7. prone to getting into relationships with work colleagues
8. in touch her ex boyfriends

These women are lookign for social recognition and status. They will be with someone they believe will deliver them status. e.g super rich guy, drug dealer, nightclub owner, comedian, whatever.

The best thing to do with attention hos is to burn them

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by Jariel
She seemed really sweet and adorable when I first met her and the same on the phone. Tonight is the first time I've seen this side of her. I was actually quite shocked by her heavy flirting.

I have to say, every time I make a date with a stranger they turn out to be b1tches or attention hos. I'm probably best sticking to my old strategy of getting to know them (in person) before dating them.

yeah dude, hang out as friends first.

 

[DJDamage]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Jariel
She seemed really sweet and adorable when I first met her and the same on the phone. Tonight is the first time I've seen this side of her. I was actually quite shocked by her heavy flirting.

I have to say, every time I make a date with a stranger they turn out to be b1tches or attention hos. I'm probably best sticking to my old strategy of getting to know them (in person) before dating them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Yeah don't even bother to figure out this one Jariel. When a chick is not normal and has issues, it don't matter how good of a DJ you are and how tight your game is, she is playing by her own rules and is controlled by her crazy mind.

Avoid the following: The walking wounded, The Borderline personality, The Bi-polars, the attension wh0res, the gold-digger, the playeratte, the c0ck teaser, the psycho and the princess.

It sad to say it but I have to: Women are like parking spaces, all the good ones are mostley taken and the rest are handicapped.

Don't change your strategy just because you had a nut case on your hand.

 

[BGMan]

In my opinion, it's better to date girls who are a bit shy and nervous, rather than those who are all over you and stroking you like a puppy (which is how they view you). Reason being, when they're shy and nervous, they really DO like you and don't want to screw up and say something dumb.

The ones who are more confident will try to talk to you in a low, smooth voice, often a bit slowly, meaning they're trying to speak carefully -- again, so as not to screw up. If you're careful, you might notice a slight quiver... listen for it!

Originally posted by DJDamage
Women are like parking spaces, nearly all the good ones are taken and most of the rest are handicapped.

Classic! (I even fixed it up a little for you there, too.)

BGMan

 

[Jariel]

Thank you all for the valid input. It's interesting that you all think she is to blame, and in retrospect I agree. Until reading the replies I believed I was to blame for being too forward or desperate, but she shouldn't have been playing games with me.

Strangely enough, she contacted me today to say that it was a misunderstanding and she has asked me on a second date.

Wow, I'm so lucky to get a second chance!

Needless to say I've nexted her.

 

[Scought]

Too strong or not enough?

This debate has opened up some questions.

Yes, the woman was coming on to strong.
But from a male perspective when you first get a number and agree on a date, how can one show they are trying to be more than just friends, versus coming on to strong and blowing it.

Sometimes you get a number, get coffee, hang out, etc. and things are just friendly, move slowly and nothing develops.

However, you can come on strong make it clear, but move to fast. What do you all suggest are ways to make it clear without doing the extereme of coming on to strong, versus, not strong enough.

I feel like its a fine line.

 

[christz]

Originally posted by DeathDealer
this is gold guys, read it. some of us guys have been burned by these girls that use their "signs" to play us like a violin and if we were going to try to get intimate (the kiss test) they act all awkward. never believe in the signs, not even hand holding, not even eye contact. go for the kiss.

yeah but sometimes you do get play, but the only reason you got play is because they love the fact that guys want to bang them. guys that they're intrested in.

so even if you do get sex, if your seeing these signs and or flakyness or she's takeing one step towards you and 10 steps backwards.. chances are she's giving you just enough to keep you intrested

 

[AFK Protector]

This episode only saved you time. You coulda spent a month on her and gotten the same thing. Think of it that way. You saved a month of banging busty babes. <--alliteration

 

[seasonedplayer]

the exact same thing happened to me. I burned her after she burned me then she rang me and begged for a second chance. I stupidly gave in to her.

They will do the minimum required to keep you e.g kiss you or talk intimately

Now she doesn't even want to talk to me - they eventually get sick of you and move on

This sounds really childish but the only way to beat them is to send them an abusive email e.g criticising the way they look - Something to hurt their ego. YOu don't beat them by burning them because they have 5 other AFCs calling them every day.

 

[seasonedplayer]

i have slightly contradicted my previous post...