When I broke up with a girlfriend three years ago, just before I went off to college, her mother -- a bitter, man-hating lesbian -- gave me the following words of wisdom: "You will never amount to anything." My ex-girlfriend elaborated: "You will not do well in college. You're going to flunk out in your first year and end up working as a secretary for your whole life."
With some people, nothing makes them more determined to succeed than being told that they cannot. Determined to prove them wrong, I loaded up on the credit hours, while keeping my full time job, studying constantly. I swore off girls during the first semester of school so that I would be sure to do well. I ended up getting straight 4.0's that semester, but that isn't the point of this tip. The point is that, while I had the goal of doing well in school and keeping girls at a distance, the girls were pretty much beating down my door. Of course, at the time, I didn't really understand this -- I was actually pretty irritated by it. "Just my luck," I would think, "whenever I have time for a woman, I can't get one. And whenever I don't have time for a woman, they're all over the place."
I noticed the same thing when I was in a long term relationship. You probably have noticed the same. When you're single, there isn't a chick in sight. When you're in a committed relationship, there are girls everywhere. Again, I would just curse my luck... Why was fate working against me?
A few psychology and sociology classes later, I was smarter, wiser, and in a better position to evaluate the human behavior behind this phenomenon. Everyone puts a higher value on the things that are difficult to get. We put a higher value on platinum and precious jewels, which are not necessities but are very difficult to get, yet we don't put a high value on air, which is required for our survival but is all around us, easy to acquire, and free. When I was always around and easy to acquire, I wasn't valued much. But once I was difficult to get, because I had other things going on, the girls knew that I wasn't going after them, and that in order to get me they would have to work for me. I had other things going on in my life, and they wanted to be a part of it.
I would tell them, "Hey, I don't really want to complicate my life right now." I thought it would get them to go away. But it just drove them wild. The more distance I tried to put between them, the more they tried to bridge the distance. I began to realize that, sometimes, the key to getting women is to honestly be doing something else. Then, they will often knock each other over to get to you. The cool thing is that, if they don't come running after you, at least you have accomplished something else. So throw yourself into a major goal. Fix up an old car. Write the next great American novel. Throw yourself into school. Learn to play an instrument. No time that you spend doing these things is wasted, and it just might end up making the women come to you instead of the other way around for once.
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"What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!"
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2
With some people, nothing makes them more determined to succeed than being told that they cannot. Determined to prove them wrong, I loaded up on the credit hours, while keeping my full time job, studying constantly. I swore off girls during the first semester of school so that I would be sure to do well. I ended up getting straight 4.0's that semester, but that isn't the point of this tip. The point is that, while I had the goal of doing well in school and keeping girls at a distance, the girls were pretty much beating down my door. Of course, at the time, I didn't really understand this -- I was actually pretty irritated by it. "Just my luck," I would think, "whenever I have time for a woman, I can't get one. And whenever I don't have time for a woman, they're all over the place."
I noticed the same thing when I was in a long term relationship. You probably have noticed the same. When you're single, there isn't a chick in sight. When you're in a committed relationship, there are girls everywhere. Again, I would just curse my luck... Why was fate working against me?
A few psychology and sociology classes later, I was smarter, wiser, and in a better position to evaluate the human behavior behind this phenomenon. Everyone puts a higher value on the things that are difficult to get. We put a higher value on platinum and precious jewels, which are not necessities but are very difficult to get, yet we don't put a high value on air, which is required for our survival but is all around us, easy to acquire, and free. When I was always around and easy to acquire, I wasn't valued much. But once I was difficult to get, because I had other things going on, the girls knew that I wasn't going after them, and that in order to get me they would have to work for me. I had other things going on in my life, and they wanted to be a part of it.
I would tell them, "Hey, I don't really want to complicate my life right now." I thought it would get them to go away. But it just drove them wild. The more distance I tried to put between them, the more they tried to bridge the distance. I began to realize that, sometimes, the key to getting women is to honestly be doing something else. Then, they will often knock each other over to get to you. The cool thing is that, if they don't come running after you, at least you have accomplished something else. So throw yourself into a major goal. Fix up an old car. Write the next great American novel. Throw yourself into school. Learn to play an instrument. No time that you spend doing these things is wasted, and it just might end up making the women come to you instead of the other way around for once.
------------------
"What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!"
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2
