too awesome to be someones boyfriend?

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
382
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
Well, I have decided to put the word out there that I would consider looking for another LTR. I enjoy single life. I enjoy ****ing lots of stupid broads. But the quality of women is just really getting ot me on a more... metaphysical level. I feel my respect for women as a whole just taking a nosedive, so I have been seeking more quality women.

Im talking intelligent, well educated, well bred, money having, cultured, stylish, beautiful, well spoken (not that I can really tell the difference in Japanese) women.

We always have a lot of fun. Good conversation, good times wherever we go out. Sometimes its one on one. Sometimes its with friends.

But I have been getting this same thing lately. Pretty much to sum it up "he is really awesome, but a little too awesome. I would love to date him, but Im afraid of______________. I would definitely be a lot of fun dating him, but....."

So it happens again. I always end up ****ing them and being alone.

Its not that I project myself as a party person at all. Or unreliable. Or untrustworthy. Or immature. I talk about goals, dreams, experiences Ive had around the world. Philosophy. Science. Art. Love. Sex. The ****ing 4th-10th dimension. How things relate to each other. Human soul connection.

I figure this is what women want but apparently all it is is status enough to **** them. Horrible. How should I handle this? Am I throwing out too much(passion, social prowess, conversation versatility/depth) on the frontend? Like intimidatingly so?

Anyone share the same experience?
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,074
Reaction score
8,922
powpow said:
But I have been getting this same thing lately. Pretty much to sum it up "he is really awesome, but a little too awesome. I would love to date him, but Im afraid of______________. I would definitely be a lot of fun dating him, but....."
What's the part you're leaving out? Maybe the answer is there.
 

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
382
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
the part I am leaving out is the variable in the girls reasoning.

Ive gotten this from four different girls now. Actually, my friends have relayed this information to me.

one said she thinks I am a "playboy". maybe thats a japanese term? its like a player kind of feeling to it.

one says she doesnt want to get hurt

one says she doesnt want to have to deal with other women constantly eyeying me. thats total bull****, I think

the last one says since I am a straight up crazy mother ****er with no respect for social norms that her parents would pretty much hate her.

FML
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,074
Reaction score
8,922
Okay, three out of four of those reasons, and maybe even all four, boil down to she thinks you're a player. In other words, the girl thinks she will just be another lay for you, or that you will get bored with her and want to screw other girls. I saw in one of your other posts that you've slept with a lot of girls recently. Maybe you are putting out some sort of vibe.

Sounds like the girls find you attractive, but think you're a poor risk because you're a player. They don't think you will find them special enough to stick with them. They probably figure "Once a womanizer always a womanizer".
 

neghitzbrah

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
103
Reaction score
3
Location
NYC
zekko said:
Okay, three out of four of those reasons, and maybe even all four, boil down to she thinks you're a player....Maybe you are putting out some sort of vibe.
I've been a bit MIA on these forums because I've had a lot of success following everyone's advice and the DJ bible. I can say from personal experience that girls say the samething with me. I was seeing this chick I was kind of into for a few weeks. Then she got all pissy because she thought I was dating other girls, couldn't trust me, etc... Kinda pissed me off. But I gave off that vibe because I wasn't digging her.

When you find that girl you will turn the world around for, you won't give off that vibe because you will focus your attention on her. I have had that, but nothing came from just talking to her for a while because she had a boyfriend. Seems like nowadays, the one you're REALLY into is the one you're not going to get. At least for me, that's the case. Live and learn
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

DJ422

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 25, 2011
Messages
57
Reaction score
1
zekko said:
Sounds like the girls find you attractive, but think you're a poor risk because you're a player. They don't think you will find them special enough to stick with them. They probably figure "Once a womanizer always a womanizer".
I'm no expert, but it seems to me like it might be helpful to tone down the "player" aspect of what you do. Maybe flirt with a few less girls, like if you flirt with girls that you consider a 7 and up, try flirting with only the 7.5's or 8's and up.
 

IamJosan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
230
Reaction score
9
Location
LA
You are probably an attractive person, but you're probably not boyfriend material. I hear girls talking about this all of the time. They'll say things like, 'that guy is so hot, I'd fvck him, but I wouldn't get with him', and things like that. Girls are looking for guys who will treat them like princesses and just kill themselves for them, it's ridiculous!
 

dementia

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2004
Messages
283
Reaction score
1
Age
41
Location
over the hedge
Youre all overlooking the fact that these are just words coming out of their mouths, not actions... So, it has CLOSE TO ZERO VALUE..

u game any of those reserved girls properly and of course they'd want to get close to you once uve built comfort.. They only say this **** cos they dont know you and it doesnt mean anything...


Actions not words... never forget it..
 

DonJuanit0

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
564
Reaction score
18
Age
35
Location
Athens
IamJosan said:
You are probably an attractive person, but you're probably not boyfriend material. I hear girls talking about this all of the time. They'll say things like, 'that guy is so hot, I'd fvck him, but I wouldn't get with him', and things like that. Girls are looking for guys who will treat them like princesses and just kill themselves for them, it's ridiculous!

OUT! Go read the DJ bible!!

Anyway, as for the op,

I've met women telling me that they can't see us being together simply because I'll get bored fast and that they shouldn't invest emotionally on me or I'll cheat on them bla bla bla! Despite this, with a little bit of talking everyone can be convinced that she is the one you'll not get bored of! :p If you are sure for yourself and ready to have a LTR maybe you should discuss the matter with her (w/e she is)!

Also, have you thought that maybe you talk too much? I mean you said you talk about everything to look like a mature and educated person! Maybe what you get is boredom!! Maybe you are a good looking guy, who they would easily f*ck, but they can't picture themselves having you talking to them all the time! It's just a Question, do you think there is a chance that you talk too much?
 

falconslax89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
250
Reaction score
3
Location
Earth
DonJuanit0 said:
OUT! Go read the DJ bible!!

Anyway, as for the op,

I've met women telling me that they can't see us being together simply because I'll get bored fast and that they shouldn't invest emotionally on me or I'll cheat on them bla bla bla! Despite this, with a little bit of talking everyone can be convinced that she is the one you'll not get bored of! :p If you are sure for yourself and ready to have a LTR maybe you should discuss the matter with her (w/e she is)!

Also, have you thought that maybe you talk too much? I mean you said you talk about everything to look like a mature and educated person! Maybe what you get is boredom!! Maybe you are a good looking guy, who they would easily f*ck, but they can't picture themselves having you talking to them all the time! It's just a Question, do you think there is a chance that you talk too much?
i was thinking the same thing
 

falconslax89

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
250
Reaction score
3
Location
Earth
DonJuanit0 said:
OUT! Go read the DJ bible!!

Anyway, as for the op,

I've met women telling me that they can't see us being together simply because I'll get bored fast and that they shouldn't invest emotionally on me or I'll cheat on them bla bla bla! Despite this, with a little bit of talking everyone can be convinced that she is the one you'll not get bored of! :p If you are sure for yourself and ready to have a LTR maybe you should discuss the matter with her (w/e she is)!

Also, have you thought that maybe you talk too much? I mean you said you talk about everything to look like a mature and educated person! Maybe what you get is boredom!! Maybe you are a good looking guy, who they would easily f*ck, but they can't picture themselves having you talking to them all the time! It's just a Question, do you think there is a chance that you talk too much?
i was thinking the same thing
 

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
382
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
DonJuanit0 said:
OUT! Go read the DJ bible!!

Anyway, as for the op,

I've met women telling me that they can't see us being together simply because I'll get bored fast and that they shouldn't invest emotionally on me or I'll cheat on them bla bla bla! Despite this, with a little bit of talking everyone can be convinced that she is the one you'll not get bored of! :p If you are sure for yourself and ready to have a LTR maybe you should discuss the matter with her (w/e she is)!

Also, have you thought that maybe you talk too much? I mean you said you talk about everything to look like a mature and educated person! Maybe what you get is boredom!! Maybe you are a good looking guy, who they would easily f*ck, but they can't picture themselves having you talking to them all the time! It's just a Question, do you think there is a chance that you talk too much?
I appreciate all of you guys responses. This is pretty much a new road for me to travel on. I have never been actively pursuing a partner.

And to answer your question, I dont talk too much. And usually when I talk, I talk about them. I know how to conversate properly, and that includes being able to gauge where a conversation is heading. But thanks for the heads up... sometimes I forget to think about stuff like that.
 

Sh0t

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2005
Messages
134
Reaction score
4
Most times when girls say you are too good for them, they are dumping you in a polite way.

Same way we lie to girls about similar situations.

On the other hand, I would say keep gaming and playing until you get that natural shift in your alignment. If you try to force it early, it won't work out right.

Eventually, we change internally and others can sense that. Then you'll really be ready for a change of pace.

Right now I think you are just looking for variety of experience. GFEs are overrated, though.

Most of the guys on SS in general, are bad actors. If you really want to be a player, or get yourself into a situation where you can have a very good choice in a mate, you need to become a good actor man. You have to learn to NOT give off player vibes. Once you spend a few years as a master manipulator, you will lose taste for it and slide into a nice happy medium where you are ready to be a good alpha mate. Or not, I'm still waiting for that part myself.

Not giving off player vibes is strategic, not just tactical. You have to effect your lifestyle in a way that you don't give off player vibes. Tone down some of the "bachelor pad" stuff at your crib, maybe downgrade or "mainstream" your clothes a bit, etc.
 
Top