I guess I feel bad for the kids really. They have to deal with the separation.
It never gets better either. It's not fun to be shuttled around between two divorced parents.
Sometimes one parent after a divorce and the children cease a relationship too.
I have a semi unusual situation where my parents separated when I was 15 and finalized the divorce when I was 16. I was essentially an adult when my parents finally realized that their dog shiit relationship could no longer go forward. My mom didn't start dating again until after I was 18 and semi-independent. I was in college at that point and living away from home.
My mom re-married in my mid-30s. I do not enjoy spending time with my mom's husband. Nor do I enjoy being forced into spending time with my mom's husband's adult children either.
I do not ever initiate texts with my mom's husband's children either. I don't want to play fake happy family. I'm not happy about the current familial arrangement.
My mom's husband is an ok guy but I don't feel a need to spend any time with him since I didn't meet him until my mid-30s. He's not my father and I live on my own.
Do you see what a difficult position this puts me in? I'm 39 and a grown man. Imagine how a 9 year old child feel about stuff like this.