Told her I can't be friends with her, she got angry

[Siragoos]

So there was a female that I hung out with only a couple times. I'm still starting to implement this stuff so the goal here for me was to just get comfortable conversation-wise.

She has a boyfriend, long-term. It was clear after the second time we met that she wanted me as a friend when her boyfriend wasn't around.

A few weeks later she tried getting me to hang out again and I told her that I can't be friends with her. She got angry, telling me how she didn't know she was leading me on, that she assumed we were friends, blah, blah, blah.

I feel like I did the right thing. I want to avoid the friend zone and I know I have to be more sexual next time. However, she tried making me feel guilty.

 

[SgtSplacker]

The way I see it, if you are not paying for her crap she should be able to come around anytime she wants to. It's only good social proof for you and you never know...

As long as she is not expecting you to buy her stuff, it can't hurt.

 

[Siragoos]

The way I see it, if you are not paying for her crap she should be able to come around anytime she wants to. It's only good social proof for you and you never know...

As long as she is not expecting you to buy her stuff, it can't hurt.

That's true, which is why I tried a second time. But I determined it was hurting more than helping my development. I don't want to hear about her bf (which would be inevitable) and right now I don't have many plates, so I'd become more invested into her. And because of my status as "friend", mentally it's just hard for me to run game on her right now--I'm not experienced enough. So those bad habits will carry over to other plates.

Also, I can't really go back on what I said now.

Also forgot to add that she says she has many guy friends and they were all ok with it.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I really think this would have been a great exercise for you man. You need to get used to hanging around with girls. Nothing better then to have friends that are girls to make other girls see you in a good light. This is why you want female friends around.

Men and women have completely different ideas of what friends are. To a woman a dude that is trying to bang her is her friend also. And technically she is right. Men never have to deal with things like this so we have higher standards for what a real friend should be. Lets just say i'm a masseuse and I know a dude that is constantly trying to get a free massage from me and I know this person would not hang out with me otherwise. He's not my real friend... he just want's free massages.

As long as you are not expected to buy her stuff, keep her around it can only do you good. I have female friends and we go out together all the time, and I make passes at them all the time too. Certainly I respect them, but they know i'd tear that up in a second if they let me. We laugh about it too, it's all good. Keep things light and positive. And never hide your sexuality, in the end if you lose a female friend because of that you are just weeding out the undesirables.

 

[LP700-4]

Very smart choice. Avoid these types of women at all costs. They want the sexual and physical side with their boyfriends but want a beta orbiter around who will take care of their emotional and "girlfriend talk" side.

I've been through the exact same situation. I tried to be that "good friend" until she started talking about "I wonder how big that guy's c0ck is" to me, I knew I had definitely entered the dark cesspits of the friendzone. I immediately told her I can't be friends with her and she went absolutely nuts. Insulted me, told me how she thought she could trust me, how she thought I was her friend and blah...blah...blah.

Just ignore her and cut off all contact. Women like that are crazy.

 

[VladPatton]

Well done. The fact she got pissed and is trying to take your balls because of it is her problem. Laugh and walk away. You lost nothing, and no matter what, it was your choice, you owned it and you are sticking to it. GTFOH with that friend crap girls try to pull on you. I understand to say hello and talk about the weather when you see them in a social gathering scenario, but to specifically meet them, hang out, hold their bag as they shop and hear about some other dude's hard-on in her mouth and how tasty it was is just cold rudeness towards a male.

No self respecting male would do that. What for? Just to be seen with a good looking girl for a few hours? Fück that.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'd love for a girl to talk to me about sex, by the end of the night after the drinks and talking about sex all night she will be so horny. If she want's to talk about sex take advantage of that. LEARN how to be suggestive to women. You can start planting the idea in their heads that you are an awesome lay. One night she just might say "why not" he's a cool guy were friends. Slutty chicks like that are awesome. Don't turn your back on awesome because you're scared.

The only reason i'll cut a girl off is if she either cawk blocks or thinks I need to pay for her stuff and won't take a hint.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Its funny how most women feel entitled to a man's friendship while simultaneously making it clear that he is not entitled to her p*ssy. :crackup:

She should get friendship because she WANTS it and for no other reason. However.. a man wanting p*ssy is the man's problem.

 

[skinnyguy]

What do you guys think about using some of these girls to help you meet women?

Yes, you'll just be friends with her b/c she has a boyfriend…but if she introduces you to other women, then it's a great situation for you because you're not just some "random guy". I've found that my success rate is off the charts when I'm introduced to someone.

Don't spend time like actually hanging out with her. Just ask her if she has friends that you might like. While the gut instinct might be to cut her off, she could actually be of use to you. If she doesn't comply or have female friends then of course get rid of her.

 

[Siragoos]

Its funny how most women feel entitled to a man's friendship while simultaneously making it clear that he is not entitled to her p*ssy. :crackup:

She should get friendship because she WANTS it and for no other reason. However.. a man wanting p*ssy is the man's problem.

So cutting her off was ok? Even though she tried to make me feel guilty?

 

[Siragoos]

I really think this would have been a great exercise for you man. You need to get used to hanging around with girls. Nothing better then to have friends that are girls to make other girls see you in a good light. This is why you want female friends around.

Men and women have completely different ideas of what friends are. To a woman a dude that is trying to bang her is her friend also. And technically she is right. Men never have to deal with things like this so we have higher standards for what a real friend should be. Lets just say i'm a masseuse and I know a dude that is constantly trying to get a free massage from me and I know this person would not hang out with me otherwise. He's not my real friend... he just want's free massages.

As long as you are not expected to buy her stuff, keep her around it can only do you good. I have female friends and we go out together all the time, and I make passes at them all the time too. Certainly I respect them, but they know i'd tear that up in a second if they let me. We laugh about it too, it's all good. Keep things light and positive. And never hide your sexuality, in the end if you lose a female friend because of that you are just weeding out the undesirables.

Well.....i got rid of her now. I think it's too late

 

[Siragoos]

What do you guys think about using some of these girls to help you meet women?

Yes, you'll just be friends with her b/c she has a boyfriend…but if she introduces you to other women, then it's a great situation for you because you're not just some "random guy". I've found that my success rate is off the charts when I'm introduced to someone.

Don't spend time like actually hanging out with her. Just ask her if she has friends that you might like. While the gut instinct might be to cut her off, she could actually be of use to you. If she doesn't comply or have female friends then of course get rid of her.

She has very few friends because she's new to the area and works a lot. The ones she does have are all taken and a couple years older than her.

The issue was she was trying to soak up my friday/saturday nights to "hang out". After 2 times, I had enough.

 

[nismo-4]

That's true, which is why I tried a second time. But I determined it was hurting more than helping my development. I don't want to hear about her bf (which would be inevitable) and right now I don't have many plates, so I'd become more invested into her.

Sometimes you gotta solve the problem by eliminating the source. Smart move.

And because of my status as "friend", mentally it's just hard for me to run game on her right now--I'm not experienced enough. So those bad habits will carry over to other plates.

Forget about that girl. That's the best option.

Also, I can't really go back on what I said now.

Don't go back. It won't do you any good.

Also forgot to add that she says she has many guy friends and they were all ok with it.

They're all ok with being beta orbiters (women with penises)? That's what she wants from you.

Read betw- You know what to do.

Also, I had a time when I told a girl that I have enough friends. She got mad she couldn't get another orbiter. I went to kiss her again, she stops it and offers me a...handshake? I walked away with no letup. Judge nismo don't tolerate that "friends first" sh*t.

OP, the fact is she tried the alpha fux, beta bux game with you as the beta. She was pissed you wouldn't accept being her girlfriend she whines to about her man who just f**ked her in 3 positions last night.

LJBF's are rejections. They always were.

Case closed.

 

[Igetit!]

You have any additional info to add to this little story? Cause if not,honestly.....this little situation (imo) is all YOUR fault.

I agree with HER.

For example,you said.....

So there was a female that I hung out with only a couple times.

Ok,well HOW did this whole "hanging out" thing start to begin with? What....did you walk up to her and ask her out? How did you even first meet this chick to begin with? Reason I ask is cause I'm trying to see THE CONTEXT of how you first got around each other to begin with.


Did you ask her out,she tell you no cause of her boyfriend,and then you CONTINUED hanging out with her anyway? How did you two start out?

I'm still starting to implement this stuff so the goal here for me was to just get comfortable conversation-wise.

Oh....so you're a newbie. Well I give you props for putting yourself out there and trying,but honestly dude.....you picked the WRONG chick to try to build up your skillz on.

You say you're just starting to implement this pickup stuff. Well you should have chosen a SINGLE girl to work on. I'm not really into chicks with boyfriends,but if that's your thing,then cool.......but a chick with a BF is FAR too advanced for a newbie to begin with.....that'd be like a 4 or 5 year old who hasn't learned how to add or subtract going straight to algebra and geometry.



You need to start with the basics first,then level up.

She has a boyfriend, long-term. It was clear after the second time we met that she wanted me as a friend when her boyfriend wasn't around.

ALL CHICKS do this...they all do the "surrogate boyfriend" thing when their real one isn't around. So don't think it's something unique that ONLY YOU had to deal with between you and this chick....all girls do it.


And you can't blame her,cause it's a FEMALE thing. You take her out,put ANY OTHER CHICK in the same position,and she'd do the same thing.

A few weeks later she tried getting me to hang out again and I told her that I can't be friends with her. She got angry, telling me how she didn't know she was leading me on, that she assumed we were friends,

This is the part where I meant I'd have to side with HER....

To me,SHE was right.

You said she told you she assumed you two were friends. Ok,uhh...well? Why wouldn't she think that? You said.....

I know I have to be more sexual next time.

So you WEREN'T sexual with her. You hid/held back your sexual interest.....didn't do or say anything sexual to convey your interest.....


Ok,umm....well? If you held back all sexual interest,no flirting,no asking her out,no nothing,then WHY would you have a problem with her assuming you two were just friends? You never did or said anything sexual,so WHAT REASON would she have for thinking otherwise???



There's only 3 ways a chick reacts to a guy showing sexual interest in her....

1: She reciprocates,or shows interest back...
2: She rejects you....
3: Or she pulls the friendzone card,(which is just another form of rejection)


Now.....when you stepped to this chick,did she do any one of those three? Cause if not,that means YOU screwed up in making your interest known

It's cool.....you're a newbie,so you're supposed to make mistakes,but you have to realize it WAS YOU who was in error. Trust me...the last thing you wanna do is go around making mistakes,but not be able to correct them cause each time you blame the girl.

I feel like I did the right thing.

Well...the "right thing" would have been to eject the second you learned she was already in a relationship. Not because of any moral dilemma,but because you need a regular,single chick to work with,not some complicated situation of a chick with a boyfriend.

However, she tried making me feel guilty.

I don't think she did....I think her reaction was NORMAL.

You blind-sided her with your interest. You hung out,hung out.....never showing any sexual interest,so that's what she got used to.

Then when she called you up asking to hang out again,like THE OTHER PREVIOUS TIMES,you OUT OF THE BLUE tell her you two can't be friends anymore.

And that was HER fault?

It's no big deal man,you just made some mistakes here,that's all. All I'm saying is,you need to learn to recognize when IT'S YOU who screws up and when the girl's at fault.

 

[DonJuanit0]

I hate it when guys like Igetit or bible_belt and some others come and post cause they leave nothing else to say! Really amazing post by Igetit.

What I just want to sum is that the "I can't see you as a friend" phrase should be after making your intentions clear, when the woman tries to LJBF (let's just be friends) you, or really early before letting the friendzone slip in there.

 

[Siragoos]

It's no big deal man,you just made some mistakes here,that's all. All I'm saying is,you need to learn to recognize when IT'S YOU who screws up and when the girl's at fault.

I'm not denying it's my fault. I made mistakes. When I learned about the bf, I couldn't decide whether to go through with it, keep her around to have a female friend, or tell her then and there I can't do it. So that came back to bite me.

What I'm interested in knowing is whether what I did now was the correct thing to do, dropping her.

 

[Perroloco]

Maybe you shouldn't have come right out and told her. When she wants to hang out, say you are busy. Not in a mean way, just like what a shame it is you can't hang out with her but you've already made other plans.

That way you don't have to put up with her JBF bull****, you seem like a man in demand, and if she breaks up with her BF you are in a good position.

 

[Siragoos]

Maybe you shouldn't have come right out and told her. When she wants to hang out, say you are busy. Not in a mean way, just like what a shame it is you can't hang out with her but you've already made other plans.

That way you don't have to put up with her JBF bull****, you seem like a man in demand, and if she breaks up with her BF you are in a good position.

I'd actually been doing that for a couple months. The danger of this is if I kept doing it, eventually she would have given up entirely/auto-rejected herself, so if her guy does break up with her, she would have already mentally crossed me out and forgotten.

That's why I did some of this and, after a while, I had to say something.

 

[Perroloco]

True story

Years ago when I was very blue pill, I was a beta orbiter of a certain young woman. I was madly in love with her and was in competition with about 3 or 4 other orbiters. I had been friendzoned enough before to know it wasn't going anywhere. But I liked this girl much more than any of my previous crushes.

One night I told her that I couldn't be her friend anymore because I was in love with her and it hurt too much to be around her. I told her I knew and understood she didn't love me. And to my shock she said "but I do love you" She was my first real girlfriend and we dated for the next two years.

I know it sounds like a disney fairy tale, but it really did happen.

 

[Siragoos]

True story

Years ago when I was very blue pill, I was a beta orbiter of a certain young woman. I was madly in love with her and was in competition with about 3 or 4 other orbiters. I had been friendzoned enough before to know it wasn't going anywhere. But I liked this girl much more than any of my previous crushes.

One night I told her that I couldn't be her friend anymore because I was in love with her and it hurt too much to be around her. I told her I knew and understood she didn't love me. And to my shock she said "but I do love you" She was my first real girlfriend and we dated for the next two years.

I know it sounds like a disney fairy tale, but it really did happen.

Glad you were successful, problem with this situation is she has a long-term bf and when I did convey my interest (telling her I can't be friends with her, to hit me up when she and her bf break it off), there wasn't much she could say.