To yell or not to yell?

[Phyzzle]

This would suggest to me that none of it is coming naturally to any of you. It requires effort to adopt these "DJ" attitudes and hold on to them. Why? Why do you even have to think about "not being AFC?"

I'll tell you why: freakin' Asperger's syndrome!

Anyone who even posts here, probably found this site trying to find out why "nice guys" seem to stay single. The facts of life, so to speak, don't come naturally (to the people here.)

 

[joekerr31]

never yell.

that said, most people aren't able to do that.

but losing your cool is the WORST thing you can do in ANY situation. whether its with a woman, at work, while driving your car, or taking a dump - nothing good comes from losing your cool.

if a woman has infuriated you to the point that you feel you have to yell, its time to start walking.

nothing feels better than dropping the following line on a woman that is busting your balls and trying to provoke you into yelling:

"I can appreciate you are upset right now. I've listened to everything you have to say. Now it's my turn to say something. Right now I'm so repulsed by your immaturity and behavior that if I continue with this conversation I'm going to start yelling. That said, I also have a simply rule in life that I live by, anyone who pushes me to the point where I feel I have to scream or yell back in order to deal with the frustration they are causing is not someone I want or need in my life. And given that we've reached that point today, let me make this very clear, we're over."

then walk out.

either she will totally modify her behavior so as to never push you like that again - in which case you might give her a second chance.

OR

she could care less that you walked out - which then you saved yourself a TON of hassle as she would have kicked you in the nuts repeatedly over the years. She'll head off to try and find another AFC who she can bust on.

 

[newbie81]

If your GF frequently has poor contol of her emotions and you spend more time arguing with her than you do having a good time with her, then I could see walking away as a legitimate option. But using ultimatums when she gets you angry once in a blue moon is much too extreme and continued use of ultimatums also decreases the value of an ultimatum to the point where she will take your offer to break up eventually. Simply ask yourself how many times you will tolerate threats by your boss to fire you (an ultimatum in work) until you simply decide to walk out of the job yourself.

If your GF makes you angry, use a stern voice when dealing with her, like a good father would use a stern voice when teaching his child. She should get the message that you are displeased with her behavior. If she still refuses to settle down her emotions after you sternly tell her what you are displeased with, then perhaps you should end your activities together that day and see her on a later day when she has calmed down a bit.

Using ultimatums is giving your power away: nothing worked so far, so you're using your last option: the ultimatum. That's why, from my experience, women use ultimatums so much in a relationship: to take over power because nothing else worked.

Better is to walk away, but walk away should be used as an ultimatum: nothing else worked so you walk away. It must be your last resort when you clearly can not talk/handle/ with the woman (example: she's a wacko/psycho/loses a bolt/..)

But always, always tell her why you will/are walking away. Women are mostly dumb when it comes to arguments: they will think they did something different wrong. You have to tell them explicitely what it was that they did wrong. You have to give tem the chance to correct their behaviour, if every time a women does something wrong you automatically walk away, you will have to walk away a lot in your life. Use the rule of 3: do it once, do it twice, third time you're out.

Also ****y & Funny is a good weapon in any argument with a woman: while they are yelling/weeping: use ****y & funny (but keep respecting her as a woman). If applied well you'll shortcircuit their emotions & they will start laughing while weeping : "No I don't want to laugh, I'm mad at you I want to be mad you make laugh, stop it". Then show her who's the boss & make sex.

-good luck.

 

[Latinoman]

Oh, for real. I couldn't agree more. But by that point I'm already on to the next one. It's too easy to find new girls, or new things to occupy your time. Every focus on here is about techniques/methods/gameplans/strategies/etc. You post about them, pontificate on them, and explain them to others. This would suggest to me that none of it is coming naturally to any of you. It requires effort to adopt these "DJ" attitudes and hold on to them. Why? Why do you even have to think about "not being AFC?"

If it were coming naturally, you wouldn't even have to think about it. You could do what you wanted, when you wanted, and it wouldn't matter who or how many women accompanied you on your path. You wouldn't have to yell, or "cause drama," or "push and pull," or any bullsh#t like that. It wouldn't have any significance to you, and you'd be a lot happier. It took me a long time to figure that out, and it's a tough transition (that for me isn't quite complete), but I've NEVER been happier in my entire life.

I have never read the DJ Bible (I have heard of it).

In fact, I cannot even access the DJ Bible from my computer due to some access constraints at work.

I know about some of the terminology used, because I figured it out after reading several posts. I try to use the same terminology so people can get the message better.

Everything I write is based on my experience (was married for a long time...managed to have success with several women...managed to fail with some too...and current involved in LTR) and at worst the experience of others.

I cannot share how to attract woman. I truly don't know how to "teach" that. I don't know what a man should do in a date to "attract" a woman...because I only go on "dates" with women I already laid or have at worst kissed.

Although, I have exotic looks...I am, by NO means, a "beautiful man".

All I can do is share how to be Masculine and how to hold the woman's interest in LTR.

 

[Hitman10000]

Watch movies, men who start yelling and screaming have basically gone crazy or lost control of the situation.

Yelling only if you truly are in a situation where it merits that you require someone to hear you. Instances where it does not merit:

1. Getting someone to come to you
2. Illustrating that your opinion matters more than theirs
3. Loudly talking (not yelling but seen as a rude to others)

Again watch movies, you never see Clint Eastwood the cowboy start yelling like some Professional Wrestler who has some "small" issues nor do you see a Kung Fu Jet Li character screamnig wildly when he's about to step on someone's face several times.

 

[Latinoman]

Watch movies, men who start yelling and screaming have basically gone crazy or lost control of the situation.

Yelling only if you truly are in a situation where it merits that you require someone to hear you. Instances where it does not merit:

1. Getting someone to come to you
2. Illustrating that your opinion matters more than theirs
3. Loudly talking (not yelling but seen as a rude to others)

Again watch movies, you never see Clint Eastwood the cowboy start yelling like some Professional Wrestler who has some "small" issues nor do you see a Kung Fu Jet Li character screamnig wildly when he's about to step on someone's face several times.

I agree with your post.

I believe that some movies provide good examples of "alpha behavior" that merit to be watching. I know, "that's Holliwood". That's fine. But sometimes there are masterpieces that allow us to see and provide them as example for others to see.

 

[Centaurion]

Whenever I'm in doubt or inches from losing it, I ask myself how Sean Connery in James Bond would act.

There is usually (especially at the start of a relationship) a power dynamic/struggle going on. If you start screaming like a little b!tch, you have lost. I believe that raising your voice shows a lack of control over emotions, and the first one to show lack of control has generally lost. That is why women usually throw sh!t tests and/or tantrums, they want to throw you off balance to reinset control and take control over your balls.

I usually lower my voice when I'm starting to get pissed. The b!tch usually takes the hint and shuts the fvck up.