To wait or not to wait?

[hottiedoggie]

A girl and I are going to sit for our national exams soon which is in a couple a weeks time. I'm wondering will these exams affect a girl's mind of whether they would date/get together with a guy? It seems to be the case for me where the people around me asked me to wait. Since its going to end in 10 weeks, I don't see any harm not waiting. However, I'm not sure how am I going to approach her after the exams. Also, how do I actually get together with someone? I do not just ask the person right?

Recently she has been cold towards me in the way she talks and texts. She claims it was due to her results(she msged me) so right now im on NC with her. Is that the correct move?

 

[Skyline]

A girl and I are going to sit for our national exams soon which is in a couple a weeks time. I'm wondering will these exams affect a girl's mind of whether they would date/get together with a guy? It seems to be the case for me where the people around me asked me to wait. Since its going to end in 10 weeks, I don't see any harm not waiting. However, I'm not sure how am I going to approach her after the exams. Also, how do I actually get together with someone? I do not just ask the person right?

Recently she has been cold towards me in the way she talks and texts. She claims it was due to her results(she msged me) so right now im on NC with her. Is that the correct move?

For the more smarter and girls that care about their grades, yes it can affect them. However if she's the "I don't care" type/party girl type, then she's probably flaking you out.

Let's assume she cares about her grades:
You'll probably get "Well she wouldn't wait for Justin Bieber now would she?" which is a great counter example on display of value on your end. I see that you text her often and that can kill relationships or any potential for one. Tone that down, only text/call her when she contacts you. Even then, make it short. Phone calls no longer than 10 minutes, and don't reply so fast to a text.

You have two options, you can ask her after or during the exams. If you want to ask her during, make it seem like a chill simple hanging out. If she's so stressed then spending some relaxing/chill time with you should not be an issue. Studying together is also an option.

After, is basically the same approach. You're both so "stressed" out so you offer to go to an activity that's relaxing to the both of you. Don't mention the word date.

If she's the outgoing/party type:
She's into another guy, or sometimes called "Your princess is in another castle" around here. And she's basically sugar coating your rejection until you get the hint.

Going Ghost(Only contact her when she contacts you) is correct in both of these situations seeing how you already asked. But remember, if you're already emotionally attached this could mean nothing. You have to talk to other girls in the mean time, this will prevent oneitis and you could possibly meet someone else better.
During this time, I would read the DJ Bible and step up my game. It could be you coming off as creepy in the mix.

 

[hottiedoggie]

For the more smarter and girls that care about their grades, yes it can affect them. However if she's the "I don't care" type/party girl type, then she's probably flaking you out.

Let's assume she cares about her grades:
You'll probably get "Well she wouldn't wait for Justin Bieber now would she?" which is a great counter example on display of value on your end. I see that you text her often and that can kill relationships or any potential for one. Tone that down, only text/call her when she contacts you. Even then, make it short. Phone calls no longer than 10 minutes, and don't reply so fast to a text.

You have two options, you can ask her after or during the exams. If you want to ask her during, make it seem like a chill simple hanging out. If she's so stressed then spending some relaxing/chill time with you should not be an issue. Studying together is also an option.

After, is basically the same approach. You're both so "stressed" out so you offer to go to an activity that's relaxing to the both of you. Don't mention the word date.

If she's the outgoing/party type:
She's into another guy, or sometimes called "Your princess is in another castle" around here. And she's basically sugar coating your rejection until you get the hint.

Going Ghost(Only contact her when she contacts you) is correct in both of these situations seeing how you already asked. But remember, if you're already emotionally attached this could mean nothing. You have to talk to other girls in the mean time, this will prevent oneitis and you could possibly meet someone else better.
During this time, I would read the DJ Bible and step up my game. It could be you coming off as creepy in the mix.

Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately(?), in my school i am known to be quite a player, in a sense that i talk/text a lot of girls. She even asked how many girls i text other than her. But it kinda sucks cause idk why but I can't be myself when I'm around her. It's like I'm more shy with her.

I think I am going to wait till our exams are over, it is just 10 more weeks! I'm still not sure how do I go about confessing to her. Do i actually ask her? (personally i find this kinda lame) :crazy:

Also, since I NC her, do I just wait for her to MSG me?

 

[Skyline]

Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately(?), in my school i am known to be quite a player, in a sense that i talk/text a lot of girls. She even asked how many girls i text other than her. But it kinda sucks cause idk why but I can't be myself when I'm around her. It's like I'm more shy with her.

I think I am going to wait till our exams are over, it is just 10 more weeks! I'm still not sure how do I go about confessing to her. Do i actually ask her? (personally i find this kinda lame) :crazy:

Also, since I NC her, do I just wait for her to MSG me?

Ah, you have a status for that their. Her asking how many girls you talk/text to other than her was a sh*t test, you should have replied with "Only the attractive ones" and smirk. Or another response with indifference.

If you really hook up with a lot of girls easy, then she's playing the odd man out. With all of those other girls, it was so easy but her, she puts doubt in your mind thus creating fear in yours. You're shy because you're already emotionally attached and are waiting for her approval. In short, your ego is stabbing you in the back right now. This is why talking to multiple girls at once, without going too far, is advocated a lot here. It prevents that emotional attachment, gives you a variety of choices, and social value.

And if you're talking about confessing your feelings, remove that concept from your head. You NEVER tell a women what you truly feel, it will almost always result with you walking away with nothing. Show her with your actions.

My solution would be to go Ghost and spin more plates(talk to other girls in the mean time).

No contact is usually ensued after a break up, meaning you basically cut that person from your life until YOU get over them. No contact is also called "Walking Away."

Going Ghost is basically not contacting them unless they contact you. Meaning messages/phone calls have to be started by her. In real life scenarios, you interact with her when she interacts with you. You do so like nothing happened.

 

[hottiedoggie]

Ah, you have a status for that their. Her asking how many girls you talk/text to other than her was a sh*t test, you should have replied with "Only the attractive ones" and smirk. Or another response with indifference.

If you really hook up with a lot of girls easy, then she's playing the odd man out. With all of those other girls, it was so easy but her, she puts doubt in your mind thus creating fear in yours. You're shy because you're already emotionally attached and are waiting for her approval. In short, your ego is stabbing you in the back right now. This is why talking to multiple girls at once, without going too far, is advocated a lot here. It prevents that emotional attachment, gives you a variety of choices, and social value.

And if you're talking about confessing your feelings, remove that concept from your head. You NEVER tell a women what you truly feel, it will almost always result with you walking away with nothing. Show her with your actions.

My solution would be to go Ghost and spin more plates(talk to other girls in the mean time).

Lets say I see her in school, I would only interact with her if she interacts with me? So if she doesn't do that I would just treat her as a hi-bye friend? What if she messages me asking why I didn't MSG her/am I avoiding her. How should I reply her?

 

[Skyline]

Lets say I see her in school, I would only interact with her if she interacts with me? So if she doesn't do that I would just treat her as a hi-bye friend? What if she messages me asking why I didn't MSG her/am I avoiding her. How should I reply her?

Ghost = only interact with her when she initiates. You're not avoiding her you are letting her come to you. When she does, treat her like before(normally).

If she asks, you have been busy.

 

[hottiedoggie]

Ok, one more thing. There has been instances where I do not text or talk to her and she would just assume that I'm either angry with her or ignoring her or both. Cause right now I think she may think I'm doing that.

 

[hottiedoggie]

Update: she texted me asking whether I forgotten about her. This is the exact text: did you forget me?

 

[Skyline]

If you say no then you are defending yourself. Reply with something funny/indifference. If she thinks you are angry or ignoring you just say you have been busy if she wont drop it.

Keep doing this, you can set up a date now if you want. Its only been a few days i would at least wait a week, depending on how much attention you gave her prior.

 

[hottiedoggie]

It has been a week since I last contacted her. I replied asking sorry who's this?

 

[hottiedoggie]

Oh, recently she has been hinting that I have an obsession on boobs, cause I teased her about her boobs. Is it a good thing?

 

[DanZy]

Dude come on. She's clearly flirting

 

[hottiedoggie]

Her boobs are small. She was talking about some other girl who posted her bra size on Instagram

 

[hottiedoggie]

Is she showing signs of interest or is she just looking for someone to talk to? She said "I just realised that we have not talked to each other for damn long." When I was talking to her and while texting she said I was wondering why you didn't reply.

 

[Watawata]

Go For It! She clearly likes you!

 

[hottiedoggie]

Go For It! She clearly likes you!

How do I go for it? I can't just confess now can i?

 

[Skyline]

How do I go for it? I can't just confess now can i?

Okay so going Ghost for a bit raised her IL. And no you never confess your feelings. Texting seems to be her getaway to you so i would cut down on that a little, she can have her cake(you) but cant eat it. Ask her to "hang out" somewhere and then escalate.

 

[hottiedoggie]

I'm just gonna wait till after our exams. Until then (8-9 weeks) what should I do to keep her interest up?

 

[DanZy]

Dude you really need to make some decisions of your own. So far you've asked us to tell you how to do everything

 

[Skyline]

Dude you really need to make some decisions of your own. So far you've asked us to tell you how to do everything

I agree. I dont mind giving you advice but you need to learn how to make some if not most of these decisions yourself. This forum wont always be there at specific times.

Anything not needy/desperate is pretty much right.