To vasectomy or not?

[jnMissouri]

I'm in my early 40's. Even as a teenager I knew I never wanted kids, in fact my high school sweetheart and I broke up over it. As a guy with some money, I'm thankful none of the girls I've banged without a condom got pregnant. Most have been on BC. I've had some that would get mad if I wanted to use a condom and they knew I had money so it seemed like a trap to me. I've also had some who told me they were fixed and I used a condom anyways. To an extent, I was emotional sometimes the way I did it, sometimes I just wanted to bang without a condom and only after a few times asked if they were on BC....so I got lucky most had an IUD or were on the pill.

I'm about to retire early. Having kids would ruin that. I've been thinking about having the procedure since 2020. But...earlier this year I met a girl who I actually thought was worth having a family with. Turned out NOT to be the case. It made me re-think having the procedure, as in, what if I meet someone who is amazing down the road and she passes because I can't have kids and she wants them?

I had thought about mitigating this by having sperm frozen, since the reversal procedure is not always effective. It is apparently 95% effective if fairly recent, but about 65% effective it's been 20 years since the procedure. It's $20 a month to store frozen sperm.

I also thought about becoming a sperm donor so I could pass my genes off that way without dealing with the issues, but...all the clinics seem to have an age cutoff of 39....at least in my area.

Having kids would currently derail my retirement plans. If I had them in 10 years, no issue, as the money would be soooo much that having kids would be no issue. The big worry though, is if it doesn't work out between me and the mother and I have to pay ridiculous sums of child support to her, which doesn't really go to the kid(s) so much as funding her lavish lifestyle for her and her new guy.

I'm of the OPINION that having kids or a wife in this day and age is a bad idea and it might just be worth it to have the procedure. I have a pretty good shot at reversal, though the procedure is 5-15K currently to reverse. Not a big deal though. Worst case scenario though, I have the frozen sperm to fall back on. Thoughts? Do it or not? Why or why not?

 

[Slag]

I'm not too far behind you in age, and I'm asking myself a lot of the same questions. I'd say get the reversible procedure done, and if it gives you peace of mind, have a batch froze, too.

When I was younger, I always dreamed of getting married and having 4 or 5 kids. I wanted to replicate the stable and happy family I grew up in. I think there comes a time though, when a guy has to be honest with himself about when the window of opportunity has closed, and it's simply too late to have kids. Sure, you can get some chick pregnant when you're in you're 70's or 80's. At a certain point though, it becomes unfair to the kid. What child wants a Dad who's 75 years old by the time they graduate from high school? I know accidents happen and some people have kids later in life, but that doesn't mean it's ideal. Once a guy crosses the 40 mark, I think the clock is ticking. Intentionally having kids once you pass 50 just seems selfish to me. Maybe my perspective will change, who knows?

If I never have kids (and I don't expect that I will), I hope I can at least find a young person to be a mentor to, as well as being a positive roll model for my niece and nephews.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I'm 27 and I want to get a vasectomy, but the main reason I haven't gotten one is because I'm apprehensive about potential after effects of the surgery. I've heard that some guys get horrible chronic pain as a result of the surgery and there's nothing that can be done about that apparently. Hence I've kept putting it off. That said I've decided to abstain from having sex again until after I get a vasectomy. I don't feel comfortable having sex unless I'm sterile and no woman is worth having a pregnancy scare over. I'm 1000% sure I don't want kids but I keep putting the surgery off anyway

 

[Foe]

I got one no regrets, that being said I have two kids and the thought of anymore is a nightmare. The procedure was beyond painful though, I dont care how hot the girl is Im not getting it reversed for any reason.

It does limit your LTR situation though for sure, keep that in mind.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Find yourself a urology surgeon that does more reversals than vasectomies.

He preferably, will do yours in such a way that it can be reversed. My urologist claims to do more reverses than vasectomies, and he says that when he does his vasectomy is he make sure that they are easily reversible.

 

[Manure Spherian]

OP: you’d want a kid at 50-plus?

 

[SW15]

I would say doing nothing is the best thing here.

You've managed to make it into your early 40s without having kids.

You mentioned that most women you have sex with have used some form of birth control. That's been the case for me as well.

Condoms are a good solution too. I use them. Certain brands/varieties are better than others. I've had sex with condoms with women not using any birth control method and everything was fine.

Even with a vasectomy, you might need a condom for STD protection. That makes it not worth it.

Sooner or later, you'll only be able to attract women who are 40+ who are unlikely/unable to conceive anyway. That's the actual male biological clock. Men can impregnate women quite late into life. However, most men in their 40s/50s cannot attract a young enough woman for childbirth since most men in their 40s/50s have similarly aged girlfriends/wives.

The typical guy who gets a vasectomy is not a guy interested in seducing new women. The typical guy who gets a vasectomy had 2-3 kids with his aging wife. He's getting the vasectomy for her and hoping their marriage can stay together. There are men who get vasectomies for the sake of their wives and end up divorced. It makes her more difficult for them to date in the future because a lot of women want men who are at least capable of producing kids.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I could retire around 40 if I don't have kids, I may just adopt though, I do want a kid eventually, I just can't envision myself staying out of the gaming and getting high or drunk rut if I don't have some ultimate purpose to work towards, maybe that's a selfish thought though

 

[Foe]

The typical guy who gets a vasectomy is not a guy interested in seducing new women.

Whats your source for this statement. I got mine to avoid the chance of being coupled for life with a rando. Its very liberating being single and knowing I can do what I want without that as a consequence, my game hasnt changed at all since getting it if anything I have more freedom with this outcome.

Its just the LTR situation that gets stunted, heaps of hot single woman in the 30's bracket who are desperate to lower there SMV to get a baby daddy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

No. This is just weird. How hard is it to wear a condom or just not bang crazy broads?

 

[The Duke]

I'd only have a vasectomy if I was certain I did not want kids.

I had one in my early 30's when I was married.

Never had any regrets, but I did have some second thoughts with one chic I was with. Glad that never worked out.

The older you get the less desire to have kids for most people.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

If you’re tearing it up out there with the chicas, don’t tell anyone you had one. Then you’ll be able to laugh when a gal comes to you and says “I’m pregnant”.

Think of all the unbelievably awesome answers you can come up with!

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Have those of you in this thread who have had vasectomies had any sort of complications from the surgery? My main reservation about getting one is that some guys report incurable chronic pain after a vasectomy. Anyone know how common this is? What is the level of pain immediately after the surgery and how long does it last?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

None at all. Find a male urologist that’s around 40-60 to do it. You want to research the living crap out of his work.

Educate yourself exquisitely about the procedure and set an appt to talk to the surgeon. If they won’t answer your questions satisfactorily or give you **** or seem rushed, next them.

Have those of you in this thread who have had vasectomies had any sort of complications from the surgery? My main reservation about getting one is that some guys report incurable chronic pain after a vasectomy. Anyone know how common this is? What is the level of pain immediately after the surgery and how long does it last?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

None at all. Find a male urologist that’s around 40-60 to do it. You want to research the living crap out of his work.

Educate yourself exquisitely about the procedure and set an appt to talk to the surgeon. If they won’t answer your questions satisfactorily or give you **** or seem rushed, next them.

I've already had a consultation with a urologist but that was over a year ago

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I've already had a consultation with a urologist but that was over a year ago

Just make sure the one you choose is known as the best around.

 

[jnMissouri]

The point about a condom is a good one. As I age, my health becomes more of a concern, so STD's are something I should be concerned about as well. With a high body count and no issues, I'm probably safe as someone said.

My recent gf would not let me lose the condom without getting an STD test. And I saw her take her BC all the time. So condom doesn't get lost until we are in a relationship from now on and she shows me an STD test and proof of BC. No ***** is worth losing my money over to outrageous amounts of child support that go to HER not the kid.

The point about chronic pain is also a good one. That would suck. It's one of the reasons I avoided lasik. 5% have complications and pain. I wear contacts instead.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I’d never heard of chronic scrotal pain associated with vasectomies, the research that has been done on it is limited and the few studies that offer data range from 1% to 14%. The truth probably lay somewhere in the delta.

Does anyone reading know of anyone who has experienced a complication from a vas?

 

[anonymous12345]

I'm also confident about not having kids, but still linger a lot. Haven't read anything about complications, during my research. My thoughts:

• It would reduce anxiety and improve one’s sex life
• There’s something very unmanly about being castrated
• There’s something “potent” about at least being able to reproduce
• One would lose some girls because they go “Oh, well then there’s no reason to stick around”. I guess they’re few and one doesn’t have to tell them about the vasectomy.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm in my early 40's. Even as a teenager I knew I never wanted kids, in fact my high school sweetheart and I broke up over it. As a guy with some money, I'm thankful none of the girls I've banged without a condom got pregnant. Most have been on BC. I've had some that would get mad if I wanted to use a condom and they knew I had money so it seemed like a trap to me. I've also had some who told me they were fixed and I used a condom anyways. To an extent, I was emotional sometimes the way I did it, sometimes I just wanted to bang without a condom and only after a few times asked if they were on BC....so I got lucky most had an IUD or were on the pill.

I'm about to retire early. Having kids would ruin that. I've been thinking about having the procedure since 2020. But...earlier this year I met a girl who I actually thought was worth having a family with. Turned out NOT to be the case. It made me re-think having the procedure, as in, what if I meet someone who is amazing down the road and she passes because I can't have kids and she wants them?

I had thought about mitigating this by having sperm frozen, since the reversal procedure is not always effective. It is apparently 95% effective if fairly recent, but about 65% effective it's been 20 years since the procedure. It's $20 a month to store frozen sperm.

I also thought about becoming a sperm donor so I could pass my genes off that way without dealing with the issues, but...all the clinics seem to have an age cutoff of 39....at least in my area.

Having kids would currently derail my retirement plans. If I had them in 10 years, no issue, as the money would be soooo much that having kids would be no issue. The big worry though, is if it doesn't work out between me and the mother and I have to pay ridiculous sums of child support to her, which doesn't really go to the kid(s) so much as funding her lavish lifestyle for her and her new guy.

I'm of the OPINION that having kids or a wife in this day and age is a bad idea and it might just be worth it to have the procedure. I have a pretty good shot at reversal, though the procedure is 5-15K currently to reverse. Not a big deal though. Worst case scenario though, I have the frozen sperm to fall back on. Thoughts? Do it or not? Why or why not?

You and your HS squeeze were already that serious about kids?