To the women on here

Milano

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Lol, NOW I see the issue. When I clicked on the thread this morning was right after Neil posted. I read what he said and thought he was the one who started the thread, which is why I replied the way I did.

I totally missed the first two posts, lol.

In all honestly, it's getting tiring to continue to try and justify my presence on here. I get asked/called out every 3 months or so, and my reply is the same, and it's not trivial. In fact I was just asked this on PM a few weeks ago, and answered it.

As I am dating now, I get a lot out of this forum. I'd love to be able to ask questions in regards to how, as dates, you want me to interact when specific things come up, but there's always someone who decides to be an a$$ to me when I open up, and/or get a little vulnerable. So I tend not to ask.

About hitting the wall, which dez has said happens at 27, so I am assuming that it's our collective "wall" age. I didn't feel like that at 27. I was getting male attention and I had a bright future. I was happy to enjoy myself and keep dating. IMO 34 would be a better definition for the wall. Unless a female has frozen her eggs, thats more likely a panic point. To be honest (and I do have humility, and I feel very lucky) I've managed to keep my looks well. I'm hoping to continue to do this and know that my opportunities and plentiful the more I retain a lean body and good looks.

@Milano....I hear you. If I could solve all of this frustrating sh1t for every one of you, I would. Sincerely.
Then lets meet when i come to Texas next month lol
 

sazc

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Then lets meet when i come to Texas next month lol
Lol, two things
One, that wouldn't solve anything long term for you, you would just feel good for a moment.
Two, in as much as I am sure you are high quality, I don't do stranger D1 k. Tried a ONS (sleepng with someone early once) and felt horrible about myself. It's not my route or style. I always joke about how none of you guys would date me because I always require monogamy and I always wait a while to make sure this is sometime I want to date long term and be committed too.

Flattering offer tho! TYVM :)
 
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wifehunter

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Guess who else likes ladies?

 
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Lol, NOW I see the issue. When I clicked on the thread this morning was right after Neil posted. I read what he said and thought he was the one who started the thread, which is why I replied the way I did.

I totally missed the first two posts, lol.

In all honestly, it's getting tiring to continue to try and justify my presence on here. I get asked/called out every 3 months or so, and my reply is the same, and it's not trivial. In fact I was just asked this on PM a few weeks ago, and answered it.

As I am dating now, I get a lot out of this forum. I'd love to be able to ask questions in regards to how, as dates, you want me to interact when specific things come up, but there's always someone who decides to be an a$$ to me when I open up, and/or get a little vulnerable. So I tend not to ask.

About hitting the wall, which dez has said happens at 27, so I am assuming that it's our collective "wall" age. I didn't feel like that at 27. I was getting male attention and I had a bright future. I was happy to enjoy myself and keep dating. IMO 34 would be a better definition for the wall. Unless a female has frozen her eggs, thats more likely a panic point. To be honest (and I do have humility, and I feel very lucky) I've managed to keep my looks well. I'm hoping to continue to do this and know that my opportunities and plentiful the more I retain a lean body and good looks.

@Milano....I hear you. If I could solve all of this frustrating sh1t for every one of you, I would. Sincerely.
I'm not talking about 27 I was thinking when that magic number 39 passes and they realize they wasted their 30 on getting pumped and dumped. Then they hit 40 without a suitor lined up and they freak out. And start sleeping with everyone in sight to lock down a husband or at least a sperm donor. I guess that's where the saying (older women are easier to pick up then dry dog $hi! Comes from). Then they start hating men and collecting cats I'm just amazed they don't see it coming and try to either accept it or be more understanding with the man they had. So just humility? No panic, regret, blame?

I thank you for your response even though I did have to wade through all the code talk thats an hour I'll never get back:)
There is not much Anyone can do about people flaming you there's only two ways you can take it laugh it off or get butt hurt. As long as you stand behind what you say let the chips fall where they may.
 
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Lol, two things
One, that wouldn't solve anything long term for you, you would just feel good for a moment.
Two, in as much as I am sure you are high quality, I don't do stranger D1 k. Tried a ONS (sleepng with someone early once) and felt horrible about myself. It's not my route or style. I always joke about how none of you guys would date me because I always require monogamy and I always wait a while to make sure this is sometime I want to date long term and be committed too.

Flattering offer tho! TYVM :)
Dam I thought #1 would be as I am dating now.
Ok play on player @sazc I see you. Spinning those plates I guess we are rubbing off on you.
 

sazc

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@shesabranchswinger
Lol learn to love code!

TBH I question weather those females even have the ability to be that self introspective. I feel like they mostly sit around, petting their cats and complaining how fvcked up men have "always" been. You don't have to be a BPD to lack the ability to be hard core honest with yourself about your choices.

I think that one huge downfall of females is that they think they can change a man. This segues into the idea/your idea that they could have been nicer to the men in their lives. Women think they will be able to change someone. That causes resentment on both ends. Failure to wait for a good match is epidemic. I still see it in my dating today. Men who try to convince me that liviing an hour from each other isn't going to be an issue, etc.

Do I have regrets? Yes. Do I look back and see some men who would have been great partners, that I ran from because I wasn't ready for that kind of intimacy and vulnerability? Yes, I do. Did I pick men who were wrong for me? Yes. Did I pick a man to marry who wasn't a good match because I felt like my time was running out, yes.

Knowing what I know now, would I make different choices then, absolutely. But i can't change the past The only thing I can do is raise my standards, needed on the personal lessons I have learned, moving forward.
 
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wifehunter

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BetterCallSaul

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wifehunter

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Speak of the devil.
Hahaha
IMO, there are only two great examples of women on here. One of them very much has her sh!t together and although I might differ on small quibbling issues here and there, I actually overall think she adds good perspectives to the community because she is in touch with her feminine core and she trusts it. The other is a very nice woman, but much more emotional and flowery, though I question whether or not it's healthy for her to be hanging out here. There is yet another who chimes in every now and then, doesn't participate much anymore, but who seems fairly together.
Ooooh! Ooooh! I'll take a guess. Is it LiveYourDream, sazc, and penkitten?
 

BeExcellent

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IMO here these threads pop up once in a while & that is understandable. It is, after all, a men's club. I think it is great that men have a place to come and ask the questions they REALLY have, without worrying about looking ill informed or clueless to whoever the woman in question might be.

I am humbled by the kind words from so many of you here. Both on this thread and in PM and elsewhere. Thank you.

Also we mustn't forget @penkitten ! She is part of the old guard here (she's quite a bit younger than me however, lol) and she is a great example of what a man should look for, and what a woman should aspire to in relationship.

I see y'all offering so much support and camaraderie to one another and I think y'all really are a great group of men here for the purpose of helping each other become better men & lifting one another up when life throws out a nasty curve ball. I've gained perspective that in reality men actually care deeply about the things going on in their lives and that includes the woman (women) that they fancy. I've developed great respect for many of you, even some with whom I disagree.

I learned so very much from my father, but he NEVER lost frame and so I never got much view behind his inner curtain, of his inner struggles, his deep contemplations, his fears and uncertainties. Stumbling onto this internet outpost in the twilight of my father's life gave me a deeper understanding of WHY he was the way he was, which in turn gave me a better understanding of him, what he stood for, how he conducted himself...and we were already very close, I had the honor of calling him a beloved friend as well as my Dad. The perspective here gave me greater context to appreciate & respect my Dad even more, which I consider such a gift. For that too I am grateful.

This community has helped me offer support to my lover and understand the dynamic of his severe BPD ex-wife, and showed me that he is not the only one with such struggles.

This community has helped me understand how a man should set out expectations for his own life, and has demonstrated how emotionally mature and healthy men conduct their lives and their affairs. It has helped me set my own expectations concerning my ex husband and his personal goals and growth as a father and as a man. It helps me understand a man's experience in the world, which helps me better relate and encourage, and support the men in my life, both professionally and personally.

This community has helped me see first hand the way the dating market exists for the youth. As I've noted often I am raising a high school son and two younger daughters who will eventually be in the dating pool. It's been an eye-opening experience to be sure, but knowledge is power. The way I am raising my daughters (to be young ladies with character, manners and traditional values, including waiting until marriage *preferably* for sex) is construed as terribly old fashioned and erroneously categorized as prudish at times, but it is anything but that. I want my children to develop sufficient self esteem to have restraint, consideration of consequences, and a moral compass that isn't simply swept away in the moment. I want them to be worthy life partners. I want them to recognize their value and be able to discern the intrinsic value in those around them. The expectations I set for them is high, as are the expectations I set for myself. I try to be a good example and offer practical and pragmatic solutions both to them and when I contribute here. But boy do I see what I'm up against!

The best thing for me personally about being here is that it refutes the lie of late stage feminism. There are still manly men (MUCH rejoicing!!) It reaffirms all the things my wise and beautiful grandmother said to me as a young woman. Things about the importance of reputation, of manners, of how my behavior reflects on myself and those around me, and how it is a privilege to be in the company of a well regarded man.

I am happy some of my perspective is useful to you on your journey. Much of y'all's perspectives are informative and helpful to me. I for one will never collect cats. Or dogs. I find men endlessly and delightfully fascinating. I adore men since being a tomboy all those years ago.

I talk too much. It's the extra "X" chromosome. :rolleyes:

Cheers to each of you -BE
 
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