To ignore, or not to ignore?

[Wodinart]

What do you guys do after one of the plates you're spinning rejects you?

There is a lot of talk on this site about the value of persistance when gaming women. Some people like to use the "3 strike rule," others only 2 strikes. Still others maintain that you should keep gaming an individual plate until you get a very firm (not necessarily verbal) rejection.

It is clear that the most important thing to do if it becomes evident that a certain plate is not worth your time is to move on and keep spinning the others.

However, my question is this: what do you guys do if the HB who you've given up on isn't just some random girl you've picked up at a club, but a member of your social circle, someone you can't help but see all the time?

Do you just try and ignore her as much as you possibly can, speaking only when spoken to etc? As I see it, this would have the benefit of not letting her have the satisfaction of having you as a friend, especially if she LJBFd you and you want to end things on your terms.

Or does the approach of ignoring her risk alienating you from your social group, if people who are used to seeing the two of you getting along fine (eg if the HB was a former friend turned potential lover) think you're being unnecessarily harsh towards her?

To ignore or not to ignore, that is the question. Any thoughts?

Wodinart

 

[todays_news]

This is always the problem when you get with people in your social circle. Dont ignore her, women are manipulative creatures and she will make it obvious to others that you are ignoring her. Be cool, and above all be a man, so show respect and be decent enough about it.

 

[Wodinart]

This is always the problem when you get with people in your social circle. Dont ignore her, women are manipulative creatures and she will make it obvious to others that you are ignoring her. Be cool, and above all be a man, so show respect and be decent enough about it.

Fair does, so where's the line between "being cool and showing respect" and "being her friend?" Having just been LJBFd, I really don't want to be a "friend" to her (or anything else for that matter, I can get pu$$y elsewhere ;P), but ignoring her completely appears socially counterproductive- especially as she has some hot friends outside of my immediate social group...

 

[Strelok]

Treat her as you would treat a guy from your social circle to which you are not so close.
Dont treat her as an unknown but not even as a friend,a half way.

 

[Wodinart]

Treat her as you would treat a guy from your social circle to which you are not so close.
Dont treat her as an unknown but not even as a friend,a half way.

Nice idea, never thought about it in those terms before. I've now got this guy in my head who I'm going to pretend she is in my mind when she's around- will let you know how it works.

 

[todays_news]

Fair does, so where's the line between "being cool and showing respect" and "being her friend?" Having just been LJBFd, I really don't want to be a "friend" to her (or anything else for that matter, I can get pu$$y elsewhere ;P), but ignoring her completely appears socially counterproductive- especially as she has some hot friends outside of my immediate social group...

well just be civil, you dont need to be ringing up to do things (that should be obvious) but when she's around, maybe say hello etc.

Yeah you've got the right idea of not ignoring, as all it shows is that its got to you. By being civil, keeping up appearances and continuing to have fun and chirpse other ladies, everything will go swimmingly.

Being the massive fvck up pie that women are, she might start to show an interest again and play a more active role in your life.

Remember to be a man though (a DJ to be more precise) and be cool with everything and calm at all times around her!

 

[Wodinart]

Great advice guys, this site is awesome!

There's no way I'm letting this one "play a more active role in my life," though. She's one screwed-up ho. Big time. I want absolutely nothing to do with her and if I could initiate complete NC, I would. Got a 2nd date with another gal this evening to look forward to...

 

[Ztr1der]

Just act as if nothing happened,talk to her normally as if you never even hooked up

 

[todays_news]

good, see the other women! forget the *****!

 

[Wodinart]

Being the massive fvck up pie that women are, she might start to show an interest again and play a more active role in your life.

Too right, unfortunately for her. She just indirectly (but unambiguously) asked me to hang out with her again, just the two of us. Errr.... no.

 

[Lord Sidious]

Just show indifference.

Put her in her place. Be cool, relax when she´s present, be funny and...show indifference. Plain as that, bro.

 

[Wodinart]

Ok, so I've been following your guys' advice to be cool and indifferent and I have some new developments on this one.

So, the HB in question comes to my room and begs me (as in down on her knees begs at one point, lol) to

1) tell me where "we" are at and
2) be her "friend"

Not that I have any interest in this girl any more whatsoever, but if anyone reading this wants a way to get under the skin of someone who had feelings for you but chose to LJBF you, this is an incredibly effective strategy. I would have told her to f*** off in normal circumstances, but as I said above, we have too many mutual friends for me to ignore her completely.

She tells me how much she still likes me, thinks I am funny, good-looking, bla bla bla. I respond by saying I don't like her, nor do I hate her: I am indifferent to her. I tell her that I simply don't trust her after the games she's played (see my other (very long) post if you're really bored... http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173107).

The thing is that she's now gone and told one of my best mates (an AFC who is her friend as well) that she was massively wasted when we got together, and that I effectively took advantage of her (all we even did was make out, lol). As I told my friend, this is complete bs: she kissed me on the neck before I made any moves on her and she led me a merry dance for two weeks. Again, see my other post for details. Although my mate accepted my argument that "it takes two to tango" verbally, I sense a frostiness between us because of this.

I am really sick of this, and I really don't want it to go round my friendship group that I am the sort who preys on vulnerable female "friends," and then refuses to have anything to do with them afterwards. At the same time, however, telling this girl that we are now friends seems

1) very superficial given the above, and
2) a way of letting her win, as she gets to LJBF me.

Advice?

 

[PRMoon]

You have to be the bigger man in this case. If she wants to tell stories about you "taking advantage of her", and then make pretenses about you two being friends then it isn't worth your time to appease her. If you two travel in the same circles just tolerate her as best you can. College circles change in size and scope regularly so eventually others will catch on to her BS at some point as well. Don't worry about your reputation either. College reps are stupid at best. If you conduct yourself in a good manner and don't bad mouth her then people will respect you. If one of your friends brings her up just tell them you don't want to talk about her and change the subject. By showing them that she's not worth your time, you'll speak volumes more than anything she could possibly say about you.

Other then that be young and have a good time. You can explore all kinds of options with women in college so this one should roll off you like water on a ducks back. All this will blow over soon enough and you'll meet some more coeds to game so get out there and make us proud.

 

[Kailex]

Looks like you made the right choice and really dodged a bullet here with this one.

And second, those "friends" that will believe her over you, aren't really your friends and you are better off without them.

It's college, you probably will never see these people again after you graduate, so whatever. And you probably go to college at a place large enough where you could just develop another social circle in NO time.

Forget this girl and if she wants to go around spreading rumors, let her. Don't fall prey to the "he said, she said" games. You know who was in the right. She's just trying to protect herself and her "image".

But you know better and you're better off with that knowledge.

Game on.

 

[Wodinart]

@ Kailex and PRMoon: You guys are so right, thanks for the advice. To think that a month and a bit ago I was an AFC who only rarely got pu$$y- and if I did, it was by chance, I was grateful for whatever I got, and my so-called "relationships" ended as soon as the girl got bored of me. Although I'm not a DJ yet, I feel I've already come such a long way thanks to this forum. I've actually grown a pair and am sticking up for myself. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I've got laid more in the last month than in my entire life thus far

Let her spread rumours. I don't even care.

 

[Wodinart]

Update: my mate is completely back to normal with me after just one night of being slightly awkward- so I guess you guys were right about everything blowing over quickly.

The HB who this thread is about is still doing everything to get my attention- it's pretty pathetic really. We're both going to a mutual friend's party next week where there will no doubt be alcohol- what should I do if she tries to come on to me again?

 

[Wodinart]

Just to be clear and for the sake of context, the last four times we have been wasted in each other's company, on two of them she made excuses to come to my room. Excuse: "I've lost my watch, do you know where it is...?"- she then grabs MY watch, jumps on my bed and squeals as I try and get it off her... On one occasion, she was very flirty but didn't follow up by coming over, and on the most recent occasion, I went back to my room early and she followed a few minutes later (see initial thread at http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173107)

 

[Wodinart]

For those of you who don't bother reading the longer thread, the last time this happened we made out for about 45mins in my room- only for her to LJBF me the next day (she has a 'bf' throughout all of this btw).