HalfPUAHalfAFC
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2012
- Messages
- 323
- Reaction score
- 62
What happend to the american dream?
Several intersecting things (some of which have been mentioned already):
* The cost of the wars in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and keeping over 700 bases open around the world. Throw in the cost of the cold war and you have most of US debt explained.
* When the corporations that provided jobs for a middle class, they realized that they didn't like paying those wages. So they busted unions (for lower wages) and began off shoring jobs (starting in the late 1970s).
* Mechanization also played into this. Business started investing in technology and now more and more work is done by machines or low skilled workers.
* Feminism encouraged women to go into the job market (I really don't have a problem with this per se). But, more workers in a tight job market means lower wages over all.
* Like the government, people started living on credit and beyond their means. I believe household debt outranks the federal debt.
* Off shoring of manufacturing means the US doesn't produce nearly as many things as it use to. The economy now is heavily based on a "FIRE" economy: finance, insurance, real estate - none of which produce real value or things (just paper value). Most others are Walmart greeters and the like.
* The cost of education has skyrocketed in the last two decades. For those who do get into college, many leave with massive debt and crappy jobs that make it hard to pay that same debt.
* The curse of affluence is that it makes people lazy and complacent. The babyboomers wanted their kids to benefit from living in comfort. Unwittingly, they produced spoiled, entitled, and skill-less children who don't know enough about effort, sacrifice, and self-respect.
Did you have kids?
No. Never wanted them. They change your entire life around and if you are realistic and ready for it, go for it. However, many folks are naive as to how children change what they can/cannot do. They eat up free time, money, and freedom. Also, there are enough people on the planet already.
Were you married?
Nope. This was never on my priority list, and it shouldn't be on your's either. Why? Among the many reasons, let me give you just one. If marriage is on your "to do" list, you will put up with so much BS and nonsense from women that you rightly never should. If marriage is something you are striving for you'll tolerate more cattiness, manipulation, humiliation, etc. because you either consciously or subconsciously think you can't/shouldn't lose this one woman because you need to pair up and grow old with someone. And you'll be miserable too once you marry a woman you've had to put up with nonsense from.
Are you really 50?
45. Most people take me to be in my 30s. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Age will show on you once you have that lousy office job, 2.5 kids, a nagging wife, too many bills and soccer practices, etc. Perceptive age is part appearance and part attitude. Don't dress like a boring father and keep your mind sharp, playful, fun, interesting, etc.
Do you talk to women that are 50+?
Here and there, but not too much. I've dated only a few but I screened them for being (1) relatively attractive (few and far between at that age), (2) minimal amount of baggage, and (3) still into have fun, going out, being playful, etc.
That said, I find most women in their 50s have let their looks go and are looking to find their next husband. Forget that.
Women in their late 20s to early 40s still exist that are fun, decent looking, etc. However, most, but not all, women in their 20s do not see me on their radar in terms of available men (a few do). Once in their 30s, they see me as someone they'd like to know. Again, I do not come off as a middle-aged boring careerist with alimony and a bad, defeated attitude.
Are you financially succesful?
Relatively. I have a secure job that pays decent ($55,000+). It could and should be better, but I have plenty of time off and have insurance, retirement, etc.
MY ADVICE:
Work: Do something you love. Ask a guy who's been in a office cubicle for 30 years if they would either do it again or advise you to take such a job. Their answer will tell you all you need to know.
Body: Learn to eat right and stay in shape. Take up a hobby that involves physical activity, whether a sport or something like hiking. Go to the gym.
Dress: Wear clothes that fit. Find your own style. Quit dressing like a boy (i.e., lose the baseball caps, collared golf shirts, and flipflops). As you age, learn to trim up (your ear and nose hair will sneak up on you in your 30s...one day you'll wake up, look in the mirror and ask, "Who put the freakin pelt in my ears??"
Women: Don't get married. And, these days we treat LTRs as mini-marriages. Date many women simultaneously and you'll put up with much less BS and ditch the ones that give you grief. The women worth LTRs are not necessarily the ones you date/bang/fall into couplehood immediately with, though this seems to be the default mode for many people these days. Date two or three women at a time, rotate the bad ones out and keep the good ones in. Over time, a really good woman will stay around for a while and then you'll be in a better place to know if she's worthy of commitment/monogamy.
Also with women, don't put up with their nonsense. You WILL get some, no doubt. But needless drama, manipulation, jealously, etc. are traits of a low value woman and your self-respect is more important than having her on your arm.
Getting older: First, its better than the alternative, i.e., not being alive to get older. Second, your body will change faster than your mind. You'll still feel like you did when you are 25 but you'll look and even act different without realizing it too much. Soon, you'll be the "old guy" at the club and when that happens, learn to change where you go. Even if I look 10 years younger than I am, that still puts me at 35... I go to bars for live music and a local place for happy hour, etc.... but I'd look totally out of place at those clubs with DJs filled with young hotties and loud thumping music.
Also, as you age, you will have friends trying to get you to make the mistakes they did (misery loves company). Don't give in. If you have ZERO interest in driving kids to school plays, soccer practice, etc., DON'T HAVE ANY. Also, if you enjoy things like live music, festivals, etc., KEEP GOING. Having your kind of fun is key to keeping you feeling and acting young (but calibrate).
Several intersecting things (some of which have been mentioned already):
* The cost of the wars in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and keeping over 700 bases open around the world. Throw in the cost of the cold war and you have most of US debt explained.
* When the corporations that provided jobs for a middle class, they realized that they didn't like paying those wages. So they busted unions (for lower wages) and began off shoring jobs (starting in the late 1970s).
* Mechanization also played into this. Business started investing in technology and now more and more work is done by machines or low skilled workers.
* Feminism encouraged women to go into the job market (I really don't have a problem with this per se). But, more workers in a tight job market means lower wages over all.
* Like the government, people started living on credit and beyond their means. I believe household debt outranks the federal debt.
* Off shoring of manufacturing means the US doesn't produce nearly as many things as it use to. The economy now is heavily based on a "FIRE" economy: finance, insurance, real estate - none of which produce real value or things (just paper value). Most others are Walmart greeters and the like.
* The cost of education has skyrocketed in the last two decades. For those who do get into college, many leave with massive debt and crappy jobs that make it hard to pay that same debt.
* The curse of affluence is that it makes people lazy and complacent. The babyboomers wanted their kids to benefit from living in comfort. Unwittingly, they produced spoiled, entitled, and skill-less children who don't know enough about effort, sacrifice, and self-respect.
Did you have kids?
No. Never wanted them. They change your entire life around and if you are realistic and ready for it, go for it. However, many folks are naive as to how children change what they can/cannot do. They eat up free time, money, and freedom. Also, there are enough people on the planet already.
Were you married?
Nope. This was never on my priority list, and it shouldn't be on your's either. Why? Among the many reasons, let me give you just one. If marriage is on your "to do" list, you will put up with so much BS and nonsense from women that you rightly never should. If marriage is something you are striving for you'll tolerate more cattiness, manipulation, humiliation, etc. because you either consciously or subconsciously think you can't/shouldn't lose this one woman because you need to pair up and grow old with someone. And you'll be miserable too once you marry a woman you've had to put up with nonsense from.
Are you really 50?
45. Most people take me to be in my 30s. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Age will show on you once you have that lousy office job, 2.5 kids, a nagging wife, too many bills and soccer practices, etc. Perceptive age is part appearance and part attitude. Don't dress like a boring father and keep your mind sharp, playful, fun, interesting, etc.
Do you talk to women that are 50+?
Here and there, but not too much. I've dated only a few but I screened them for being (1) relatively attractive (few and far between at that age), (2) minimal amount of baggage, and (3) still into have fun, going out, being playful, etc.
That said, I find most women in their 50s have let their looks go and are looking to find their next husband. Forget that.
Women in their late 20s to early 40s still exist that are fun, decent looking, etc. However, most, but not all, women in their 20s do not see me on their radar in terms of available men (a few do). Once in their 30s, they see me as someone they'd like to know. Again, I do not come off as a middle-aged boring careerist with alimony and a bad, defeated attitude.
Are you financially succesful?
Relatively. I have a secure job that pays decent ($55,000+). It could and should be better, but I have plenty of time off and have insurance, retirement, etc.
MY ADVICE:
Work: Do something you love. Ask a guy who's been in a office cubicle for 30 years if they would either do it again or advise you to take such a job. Their answer will tell you all you need to know.
Body: Learn to eat right and stay in shape. Take up a hobby that involves physical activity, whether a sport or something like hiking. Go to the gym.
Dress: Wear clothes that fit. Find your own style. Quit dressing like a boy (i.e., lose the baseball caps, collared golf shirts, and flipflops). As you age, learn to trim up (your ear and nose hair will sneak up on you in your 30s...one day you'll wake up, look in the mirror and ask, "Who put the freakin pelt in my ears??"
Women: Don't get married. And, these days we treat LTRs as mini-marriages. Date many women simultaneously and you'll put up with much less BS and ditch the ones that give you grief. The women worth LTRs are not necessarily the ones you date/bang/fall into couplehood immediately with, though this seems to be the default mode for many people these days. Date two or three women at a time, rotate the bad ones out and keep the good ones in. Over time, a really good woman will stay around for a while and then you'll be in a better place to know if she's worthy of commitment/monogamy.
Also with women, don't put up with their nonsense. You WILL get some, no doubt. But needless drama, manipulation, jealously, etc. are traits of a low value woman and your self-respect is more important than having her on your arm.
Getting older: First, its better than the alternative, i.e., not being alive to get older. Second, your body will change faster than your mind. You'll still feel like you did when you are 25 but you'll look and even act different without realizing it too much. Soon, you'll be the "old guy" at the club and when that happens, learn to change where you go. Even if I look 10 years younger than I am, that still puts me at 35... I go to bars for live music and a local place for happy hour, etc.... but I'd look totally out of place at those clubs with DJs filled with young hotties and loud thumping music.
Also, as you age, you will have friends trying to get you to make the mistakes they did (misery loves company). Don't give in. If you have ZERO interest in driving kids to school plays, soccer practice, etc., DON'T HAVE ANY. Also, if you enjoy things like live music, festivals, etc., KEEP GOING. Having your kind of fun is key to keeping you feeling and acting young (but calibrate).
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