To contact or not?

[GoinDeep07]

Had a great spring and summer with a young lady. She had a boyfriend from out of state that she gave me the impression she was going to dump. She was prying me to be in an exclusive relationship. All along i told her i was not interested in an LTR. One night on a vacation i caved and told her lets do it (the LTR) and she would have to officially end her other relationship. she flaked and said she loved him. I asked "What are you doing with me then?" she said we had chemestry and i was exciting and all this bs. So after that night i never contacted her again its been about 2 months.

My good friend dates her roomate, he told me this morning that the girl i had been seeing had been hospitalized due to an accident on Sunday. She is now out of the hospital and will be staying at my freinds house for the next couple of weeks. He and her roomate are leaving on vacation and in a few days and he told her i could help her out if she needs anything.

Question is do i contact her?

 

[Findog]

If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you. I don't see anything wrong with wishing her well in recuperating, but why would you want anything else from this girl?

 

[Delly2000]

This is a very tricky situtuation.

I say go ahead and contact her. Just to be clear you don't owe her anything. But I say help her out if she needs it but just as a jesture of being a good human being. As far as relationships go she is a closed door. Its finished. The chapter has been written and it is done.


But realize she isn't right for you. Nor can you go back. She was cheating on her boyfriend with you for starters which should tell you the type of girl she is. Then she ended up picking the boyfriend over you which would show you that she doesn't particularly hold you in high self-esteem.

She should have dumped the boyfriend first..then got with you. Then I would have given her at least some points. But she just messing up all over the place and u incahoots with her.

So if she contacts you by all means help her out. But keep your feelings in check. Even go as far as to say you are dating someone else if you need to reinforce the boundry. If she wants to give it up cool. You are going to be "messed up" for cheating on ur "girlfriend" and you are telling her indirectly that you and her are on the same level as far as integrity goes. But I can understand if you want a lil bit of action. But dont fall for her mate. She history.

 

[scrouds]

fùck no! why the hell would you? She gave you one nuclear of a sh!t test, you capitulated, and she took a dump on your face.

Now you want to contact her? If you were doing it for some backup pùssy, I could buy that, but you just want to call her cause she's hurt. Why?

 

[sodbuster]

She won't appreciate it anyway, so don't volunteer to help. IF she calls, do the decent thing;but, don't expect anything OR rekindle the relationship...she had her chance.

 

[Die Hard]

You believe the current circumstances offer you the opportunity to achieve what you desire.
Unfortunately, the wish is father to the thought and if you don't snap out of it, it's gonna blow up in your face.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

My good friend dates her roomate, he told me this morning that the girl i had been seeing had been hospitalized due to an accident on Sunday. She is now out of the hospital and will be staying at my freinds house for the next couple of weeks. He and her roomate are leaving on vacation and in a few days and he told her i could help her out if she needs anything.

Question is do i contact her?

To hell with whether or not you should contact her or not. To me that's a secondary issue.

MY question is...why would your friend "put you out there" like that? Am I the only one here who takes issue with this? Seems to me like "your friend" might just need his candy-ass kicked for this...OR, am I missing something here?

 

[Jitterbug]

Yeah I'd be asking why your good friend pimps you out just to get some poon from her room mate.

 

[Die Hard]

GoinDeep07 told his friend to tell her. He's falling prey to the typical AFC thought that she'll reward him with her love coz he's being so considerate to her while she's going through hard times... He's basically trying to 'White Knight' her, hoping she'll reward him with her love.

Like I said, snap out of it or it's gonna blow up in yer face! Your desire is leading you towards supplication, pedestalling and other no-no's. Get it under control.

 

[scrouds]

GoinDeep07 told his friend to tell her. He's falling prey to the typical AFC thought that she'll reward him with her love coz he's being so considerate to her while she's going through hard times... He's basically trying to 'White Knight' her, hoping she'll reward him with her love.

Like I said, snap out of it or it's gonna blow up in yer face! Your desire is leading you towards supplication, pedestalling and other no-no's. Get it under control.

Quoted just because its truth and OP should read that twice or as many times as needed to sink in.

 

[GoinDeep07]

Good info here. My freind asked if i wanted to stop by the house this afternoon to see "Hannah" i told my friend that "i hope she getts better and i will be around if something comes up". thats the only action i will take. My freind and her roomate keep trying to get us back together.

On the other note i dont want to jeoprodize social status. Hannah is very attractive and is from out of state so not many know about the boyfreind. Seversl girls seem interested in me and have mentioned they heard i was with Hannah or have seen me out with her. Also Hannah and her roomate alsways seem to have a number of good looking women with them when they are out so its cool to join the group for drinks when i am around them.

I know its a done deal with her other than the potential for a one nighter if it comes to that. I reaaly am over it just trying to manage the consequences.

 

[Boilermaker]

fùck no! why the hell would you? She gave you one nuclear of a sh!t test, you capitulated, and she took a dump on your face.

Now you want to contact her? If you were doing it for some backup pùssy, I could buy that, but you just want to call her cause she's hurt. Why?

^
This.

I could rep this guy more if I could. This is the second one of his golden contributions today.

Read this carefully.

Your question is not even wrong.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

She wants her cake and to eat it too...she wants BF-stable and FB on the side...hard situation, human part of me says, "she's hurt", this lies beyond sexuality, "hitting it" that sort of thing -- but one question might be: how hurt is she? Is this like near-death, you want to make amends before she may perish sort of thing? Or is she just going to be "okay" after some healing time?

IDK man...if you are just trying to save face because of a social group...ehhhhh...if you genuinely feel bad she's hurt and want to help her out of an act of kindness (despite the fact that she will never want to be with you and prefers to give her real love to her boyfriend [of whom she is not willing to be loyal to but will not leave for you]), ask yourself: how much do you really want to invest in her? Would she do the same for you?

I'm not trying to be cold, (ie, kick someone with broken bones when she's down)...but it might just be best to keep some distance man. Because your friend was with her friend, there could be a psuedo-subconcious motive (for their own mental image of themselves) to get you both back together...people seem to enjoy the quad-dating situation (2 male friends date 2 female friends)...a sort of couple-reinforcement...when 1 couple degrades it either can degrade the other, turn them against one of the friends entirely...or maybe even out of a selfish motive, get you back together for their own sake..(*we* liked it when *you two* were together)...

If you're friend really cared about you, he'd probably want to see you with a chick whose not unwilling to give her "love" back, or unwilling to leave her manipulated BF for you...this chick is bad news...your friend is probably just trying to do the right thing but doesn't understand that this is a bad situation all around...

This is just another reason why I keep stressing (despite a number of posters) that getting with a girl whose got a dude can really throw some complex sh!t into the air...

Here's the REAL QUESTION:

Why the hell doesn't the BF she "loves" so much help her in her time of extreme bodily harm? This is his job.

Both you -- and him (whose being played) -- ought to have a heart to heart and leave her there on the couch...

She's got two roommates right? (you're friend and his gf)

 

[GoinDeep07]

She has a severe leg injury that prevents her from driving. She is staying at my friends house becuse her place is an hour out in the sticks. They expect the damage to heal but she may need to see the doc and stuff. Her roomate and my freind are flying out on vacation tomorrow for 10 days.

the way i see it her gf's can help her or the bf can fly up for the week. I simply said i would be around if something comes up (last resort). I've done my part. i am not going to contact her or change my schedule to be available.

Another piece of information, A week after our parting i got real sick and ended up in the hospital for a day. she sent me an email hoping i get well soon and to let her know if i need anything.

Either way it doesnt matter....done deal!