To be happy on your own.

[Kidd]

A few people on here talk about being happy/enjoying yourself on your own, without others.

I am attempting to do so, with some poor results.


I, alot of the time, feel pretty bored whenever I attempt to do things on my own, such as go to the movies/ice skating/bowling/mall/arcades without anyone.

When I am with friends, I ALWAYS have a good time, no matter what I am doing. This bothers me. I dont want to rely on people all the time. I want to learn to have fun when I am by myself, but I am missing something here. There are only a few things I enjoy on my own: Guitar, skating, workouts, and walks in the park(mostly only early in the morning). But I cannot do those things 24/7. I hang out with friends as much as possible, but I cannot hang out with them every day.

So far, my fun consists of the following:

On my own: 25 %
Friends and social things: 65 %

What I need is, to learn to be more happy by myself. As I said earlier, I do not want friends to play such an important role for me as deciding if I am going to be happy today or not.

Am I missing something?

 

[Carnegie]

Who said you had to iceskate, go the arcade, go watch a movie (theatre) by yourself to have fun? The key thing is to have fun, no one said you had to do group stuff by yourself like skating, arcade, movie. If you think playing guitar, working out is fun by yourself then by all means, continue. But if you think skating, going to the arcade is boring by yourself then stop doing it. I can tell that the most fun you have is when your with your friends. So go out with them and stop trying to absorb every word this forum says about being happy by yourself. JUST BE HAPPY.

 

[Luscious]

Hey Kidd,

Well, I would certainly agree with you that arcade action, or the movies, as well as the other activities you listed would be QUITE lonely - this is understandable because you seem to still be coming to grasp with the concept of having fun.

Think back to all the times in your life when you've had some great experiences - was it meticulously planned out and organized? I can't speak for you, but from my own reference point, all my best times have actually come basically 'out of the blue'. When you were in grade school, you didn't really give a damn about girls, and hey, that was still pretty freakin' fun.

There are several counter-arguments to that, but I'm trying to put across the idea that you need to loosen the control, stop trying to 'quantify' your life experiences, and just DO.

If you don't know how to have fun by yourself, then you need to really explore who you are first. Sounds corny, but try it.

What I'm trying to say here is that nobody could really give you any BETTER advice than to just find things out on your own, as Carnegie pointed out previously - the more you try to absorb on what "should" make you happy by yourself, the worse it will be.

You can't expect to have a life that is non-stop fun 24/7 - but you CAN ensure that you are ALWAYS happy with who you are and what you are looking for out of life.

Hope that helps.

 

[Kidd]

Originally posted by Luscious
Think back to all the times in your life when you've had some great experiences - was it meticulously planned out and organized? I can't speak for you, but from my own reference point, all my best times have actually come basically 'out of the blue'. When you were in grade school, you didn't really give a damn about girls, and hey, that was still pretty freakin' fun.

When I was young, I was the happiest person ever. I really was. I wasn't rich, I didnt have all the luxuries, but I was so damn happy. Back then, as I remember, simple things such as going outside and enjoying the nature made me happy. Back then I didnt care if I was with friends or by myself, I was enjoying 90 % of my life.

I want those times back. I know that now I have alot more responsibilities, but I still want to have as much fun as I did back then. I am trying to find out what made me so happy, and trying to get it back.

 

[Jester]

humans are social animals my man.


its just nature.