To all the Asian DJs/PUAS/aspiring on this website.

[novaknight]

I was digging through some older SS posts, looking for valuable tips from some older men here. Found a few nuggets of precious material. But what appalled me was that I found a HUGE amount of threads about Asian men, unhappy about how they could not get white women.

I could easily relate. Being an Asian kid myself, and having a very huge preference for white women...I was once quite unhappy. Till I started to pick up on PUA material, and got a limited degree of success. However, the amount of success I got was very limited indeed. Got a girl interested in me (slightly above average only). And that was only once. It wasn't even from school. Damn, it feels almost impossible to get a white chick in school. After all, nobody wants to lower their status and go out with an asian guy right?

But it all started changing. I found out about this site. PUA does indeed work in my opinion. However, just cause you have PUA skills does not mean you will have the confidence to use them. Getting a girl, it's kinda like winning a battle. There's many different fighting styles you can use. Some are direct. Some are subtle. Some snipe, some shotgun, but in the end, there's so many different ways to win the fight. PUA and DJ are like different martial art styles, in my opinion. They serve different purposes. PUA gives you the tricks to handle the fight. DJ is self improvement, and gives you the confidence to fight. Now with these skills, I set out to score the type of chick I want.

It is rough. And I didn't score yet. One day though, recently, it all changed. Walking down the high school halls, something caught my eye.

It was a pretty-boy, pathetically skinny, short asian kid, with a chick who was exactly my type. He was DAMN short, probably like 5'2". And skinny enough to make my anorexic past self look jacked. I stood an entire foot taller than him. Granted, I do not consider myself blessed with an attractive face. I have bad-looking eyes, and a fat nose. But god dammit...he looked like a effeminate, nonsexual b1tch. A metrosexual. I may not have as good looking of a face, but I'm 6'2, a lean 165 lbs (probably at least 70 pounds more than that guy), and look much more masculine than him (and trust me, I'm definately not the most manly-lookin guy).

This hit me hard. Novaknight, stop using your race as an excuse! Look at that little runt! Look at who he is with! IF HE COULD DO IT, SO CAN YOU!. Asian guys of SoSuave...that skinny piece of crap can get a white girl, a HOT one. I can bet that any guy who is reading this...is at least 4 times as many looking as him, asian or not.

Now, you can say that white guys have it so much easier. Which may be true, or not. I dunno. But it matters not. I bet that kid got shot down too. Shot down quite a lot too. I bet he held it out, until he could finally score, not letting it get to him. And it didn't. I see that guy strutting down the hallways, emitting some sort of aura of confidence that's not of this world.

If he didn't let all that get to him...then whatever past history you have of rejection...you should be able to let go of. If he could score, you can too, no matter who the hell you are.

 

[piday314]

You obviously see race as your defining factor, and therein lies your problem. Be a unique individual, not just another member of some group, whether it be Asian, black, engineer, whatever.

 

[allbeef]

90% on here are either Asian, short, very poor, or under 17 years of age. Basically, a 35 year old wealthy man who is of average height and not Asian is going to understand that money trumps all unless you are very short, Asian, or young. This is all in the class entitled, "Romance 101".

 

[pimpan]

Asian guys of SoSuave...that skinny piece of crap can get a white girl, a HOT one. I can bet that any guy who is reading this...is at least 4 times as many looking as him, asian or not.

Now, you can say that white guys have it so much easier. Which may be true, or not. I dunno.

I have a lot of asian friends. Two have a thing for white girls and are consistently successful with them. They both act and dress completely like white guys. If you followed them around through their daily lives without seeing their faces, you would not tell that they were asian. A lot of asians (in Toronto) are cliquey and by not being exclusive to that crowd, you stand out from all the other asian guys.

IMO this is the number one reason asian guys have trouble with white girls. Get some edge, show you're not afraid to stand out from the crowd. A close number two is they think white girls would never consider an asian guy. And maybe 70% won't, but if you bat 0.300 they'll put you in the hall of fame.

 

[jhl]

IMO this is the number one reason asian guys have trouble with white girls. Get some edge, show you're not afraid to stand out from the crowd.

Pimpan is spot on here. As an Asian who has experienced trouble in this area, let me expand on what he's written and you give my perspectives on the underlying problems.

The biggest issue in my opinion is that the personality traits that are taught and be required to socially adapt to one's own Asian culture is completely different from what is required for one to become socially adept in America.

In most East Asian countries, you are taught the importance of group dynamics from a very young age and they emphasize the group over the individual. They teach you to be humble, to make sure that you don't stand out (you shouldn't be a know-it-all in class), and not to show a lot of emotion. This is exactly the opposite in the good 'ole USA where you are taught the importance of the individual...to be creative and to stand out.

The biggest problem here is that an Asian who is living in both of these worlds (Asian home and friends, vs. say...non-Asian coworkers) finds it very difficult to make a transition in these personality traits from one setting to the other. This isn't a simple matter of changing your language from one setting to another. It requires a complete attitude and personality adjustment. To give an analogy, imagine yourself from switching to AFC from alpha and back..in a span of a few hours... Trust me it isn't easy.

Because we were raised with this "Asian mentality," we have these things hardwired into our brain to some degree....and in my opinion this is the biggest deal breaker when you break into a the mainstream non-Asian communities whether it be dating, friends, coworkers, or what not.

I've been in the USA now for...about 14ish years and I have almost unwound all of this Asian programming. I'm not 100% culturally compatible still b/c of the fact that I was raised overseas and I've lived 1/2 of my life there but I am one of the few that can do well in non-Asian groups, I am able to pull white girls (albeit dropping a couple of points in the looks category compared to my Asian counterparts), and I do very well at work and networking with very high profile people in the US.

So what do you need to do to get white girls? You gotta be very culturally and socially compatible with these gals. Take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself. If you are the only Asian in a group of 20 white girls and guys and when they are talking about music, tv shows they watch, movies they watch...are you able to mesh in 100% of the time in the group? If not, these are the areas that you have to improve in the social department. I find too many Asians that are very boring. All they do is go to Asian bars, clubs, restaurants, and their hobbies are watching Asian TV shows and playing drinking games. To top that off, they seem to go to the same damn bars and restaurants. Compared to our non-Asian counterparts, I think our experiences with other cultures are WAYYYY too limited and it shows up very clearly in our conversations.

In terms of attitude adjustment...this one is tough...it took me many years. You have to undo those "humble upbringings" that were hardwired into your brain. The most important thing is to learn that everyone is equal and talk in a manner that shows that you believe they are your equal whether that person is your boss, your teacher, an 80 year old grandma, etc. Speak up when necessary, do not be timid to express your viewpoints, and stand your ground when someone challenges you. And lastly...be enthusiastic. Too many times we are influenced by our stoic fathers who don't show any emotion when we are growing up. That is a deal killer in US.

If you got any questions I'll be happy to help you out. I'm quite experienced in this area.

 

[jhl]

Food for thought:

I understand that you are attracted to white girls. Since you're young, you may not have experienced this yet, but white girls in general age rapidly compared to Asian women.

Most Asian girls maintain good+tight skin, body shape, and their looks into their mid 30s and I find them to be a much better value to me since in general, they look younger, are less *****y, take care of their men better, and are more culturally compatible than white females.

Just keep this in mind....your preferences may change once you get older.

 

[novaknight]

Food for thought:

I understand that you are attracted to white girls. Since you're young, you may not have experienced this yet, but white girls in general age rapidly compared to Asian women.

Most Asian girls maintain good+tight skin, body shape, and their looks into their mid 30s and I find them to be a much better value to me since in general, they look younger, are less *****y, take care of their men better, and are more culturally compatible than white females.

Just keep this in mind....your preferences may change once you get older.

Yeah I've noticed white girls tend to get fat and stuff....cause after all the western diet doesn't exactly go well with being sedentary. The ones that stay in shape are quite hot though.

I've seen plenty of fat asian people though too.

Why not just game younger ones though?

 

[jhl]

Not sure about your question. Are you asking me why I'm not going for younger white girls or younger girls in general?

I have a professional career requiring 60+ work hours a week in addition to the studies I am pursuing to get into a top notch mba program. In my opinion, I have to be more picky and have to screen more to find the right white girl (the non-entitled, non-nagging, non-*****y type) and it's just not worth the effort to pull white girls who are young. They are the hardest to pull for me, not to mention that I am not as attracted to them as I am to cute Asian girls. I can pull phenomenal Asian girls...my 2nd to last girl was a Miss China (regional) so why settle for a substandard white girl? And yes...I pull young non-fobby Asians (21-24 has been the age range) but the generational gap, entitlement issues (which is on a whole different level than girls 27+) and their tendencies to have ADD (<24 girls) really bugged me. Now I auto DQ them no matter how attracted I am to them. The roller coaster rides have gotten really tiring and I'd rather have someone who is older, more stable and is on a similar page in life. It's a myth that you can find a young girl who is "mature". Most likely, the guy is overlooking such traits b/c he's attracted to the girl or hasn't seen the full personality spectrum yet.

 

[novaknight]

Not sure about your question. Are you asking me why I'm not going for younger white girls or younger girls in general?

I have a professional career requiring 60+ work hours a week in addition to the studies I am pursuing to get into a top notch mba program. In my opinion, I have to be more picky and have to screen more to find the right white girl (the non-entitled, non-nagging, non-*****y type) and it's just not worth the effort to pull white girls who are young. They are the hardest to pull for me, not to mention that I am not as attracted to them as I am to cute Asian girls. I can pull phenomenal Asian girls...my 2nd to last girl was a Miss China (regional) so why settle for a substandard white girl? And yes...I pull young non-fobby Asians (21-24 has been the age range) but the generational gap, entitlement issues (which is on a whole different level than girls 27+) and their tendencies to have ADD (<24 girls) really bugged me. Now I auto DQ them no matter how attracted I am to them. The roller coaster rides have gotten really tiring and I'd rather have someone who is older, more stable and is on a similar page in life. It's a myth that you can find a young girl who is "mature". Most likely, the guy is overlooking such traits b/c he's attracted to the girl or hasn't seen the full personality spectrum yet.

Askin you why don't you choose younger white girls, but now I see where you're coming from.

 

[Suvian]

Wow have we learned nothing from living in America? Its 2011, we have a black president, I see Asian men with all sorts of different races of women, and we're still having the asian male while girl discussion? I've had my heart broken a thousand times in my life and god damn it I'm still out there giving it my best with a smile on my face.

Don't be so quick to see some Asian dude with some girl and try and draw from that. Its the fact/opinion dichotomy, your opinion is that that dude is some chump cuz hes skinny, its your opinion that that girl is a quality chick, its your opinion that they are even together and they are intimate. Let me tell you man, I grew up as one of the few families of asians (Chinese) in my town, and I have been surrounded by hot white girls my whole life. I was one of those white boy asian boys in high school, and I was really popular not only in my school but at the other high schools in town, I stood out like crazy cuz I was the only Asian dude whose ever gotten really popular like that, everyone knew me, I had the hot popular girls around me ALL THE TIME. I hung out with literally the hottest girl in town every day. In fact my greatest single event in high school was the senior girls (when I was a junior) letting me rub sun tan lotion on all of them while they were topless on the roof of a spring break beach house, it was legendary, I was the only guy that ever set foot on that roof. All the asian guys would just idolize me, they would suck on my tip whenever I was around.

But you know what? I was a total AFC, I never got laid once in high school. I lost my V card in china on a family trip right before college. My first kiss was in senior year of high school and got ultra oneitis (she was a 10) and lost her instantly. Think about how crazy I was in my own head when I was around this all the time but didn't know how to pull the trigger on anything. Honestly I don't know if it was better or worse to have these experiences, all I know is don't worry about race AT ALL, her race, your race, anyone's race, and especially don't worry about what other dudes got on their arm. Be true to yourself, be confident in your actions, work hard on self improvement mentally, physically, and spiritually, and you will be fine.

 

[loveshogun]

I'm Asian (Love Shogun) and I'm slowly conquering eastern Europe. With my c*ck.

Russia, Ukraine, Czech Republic, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria down. Still have about halfway to go.

 

[lifejourney]

I agree with you Novaknight, I'm a asian guy as well. I have a thing for Latina's, people that know me know that my spanish is legendary. I took the time to learn it, to embrace the culture, I eat at latin restaurants as much as I do asian restaurants. But don't get me wrong I don't neglect my chinese heritage, I speak chinese fluently, and in addition to English.
I've had many latina novias, many of them es muy bonita. I would routinely go down to Mexico, Tjuana, Rosita, just to learn the culture and the language. I'm not saying that everyone has to do that, but thats what I like, and thats the extent I'm willingly to go and I have no problem with that.

Now white girls, in my experience they can be either nice or really stuck up. But, most of them are really nice. Just be yourself ultimately, don't let your race be your limitation. In fact theres a blondie in my class, she apparently went to Japan and is learning japanese... well now I guess that works in my favor =)