quote:Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Screw clubs and parties man, you don't need them, because you already have the best resource: the college classroom. And hopefully, you can find some girls there who aren't slu-ts, but nice girls like that are becoming rather uhh... hard to find. Still though, your chances of finding these worthy women is not that high in clubs or parties. I can see that you and I think similarly, because you don't seem to want just a quick lay, you want a relationship. Nevertheless, the DJ advice here remains the same, because once you have her attracted to you, she will automatically go into relationship mode.... meaning, you shouldn't focus on creating that relationship, but instead focus your attention purely on being attractive, if that makes any sense to you. I think a lot of girls get turned off quick when a guy "moves in" on them or tries to take it to a relationship too quickly, because I think subconsciously it gives them the idea you are dependent on them and you need them, not the other way around.
Make your moves, but at the beginning, never call anything a date, never change your personality and act all happy if you think you have her, never do anything that gives her the idea you are working to get her, because these are all turn-offs to her. DO be a man of action and give her the opportunity to meet you again, do let her call you back before you call her again, do treat her just like you did when you got her # in the first place, and if you don't really have anything else to do than spend some time with her, make something up so you don't appear boring, desperate, or of low social status. Let's face it, women like interesting people, and a big part of this is having an interesting, unique, personality. No matter how attractive you are, if you're boring, you are in bad shape.
About being coc-ky: you know about coc-ky/funny I presume.... so I will tell you that as long as you put humor in what you say, you can be as coc-ky as you want. You need not worry about offending them, because if she can't take a little teasing from you, do you really want to be with them? Just consider it your "bi-tch test." She gets offended and gives you attitude, she loses, you didn't want her anyway. On the majority of women, a little coc-kiness will make you shine. It is basically just super-confidence, so it makes sense. Once again, I think the problem with most men is that they are afraid to speak their minds, afraid to push her buttons, and ultimately, they end up as her friend. I have seen countless men try to talk to girls like they are mackdaddies, but all they do is have normal conversations, thinking they are actually getting somewhere by getting personal with her. NO. Don't just have normal convos with women. I can't help but roll my eyes everytime I see some loser in a backwards hat thinking he is the shi-t because he can have a regular conversation with a hot girl..... hahaha. Then I step in and show this girl who the boss is, show her something she hasn't really seen before, let her know there ARE men out there who actually have a PERSONALITY, who actually have a sense of humor, who are down-to-earth and aren't afraid to say it all. They don't want a fake guy, someone who talks but doesn't really have any attitude. This is boring to them. Women want something different. Let me ask you this: what distinguishes you from the 100 other men that hit on a particular woman? Confidence is great, it gets you far, but sometimes you need just a little edge over the competition, and a unique personality will get you there. I can almost guarantee you that none of those 100 other guys were coc-ky, none busted her balls, none had the courage to do that, and to that girl they all blurred into one big mass of AFC nice guy. In fact, they were all super respectable, and verbally kissed her ass, and even if they did act cool, they never really interacted with her in an attractive way.... all they did was sit back and pretend, they didn't have the balls to do anything more, much less the brains. Women don't find "nice" particularly attractive. You will make a great FRIEND, but that's it. I have said it before: You can be a coc-ky bas-tard and yet still be the nicest man on earth. Talk like a bad muffuga, but every now and then show her you're a nice guy with your actions, not words. The way you treat her from the very beginning, you should continue to act in that way throughout the relationship to keep the attraction up. You have said what you were doing is not working, so I encourage you try something new. If you are not getting very far with women, maybe just a slight change in the way you treat them will finally allow you to reach your full potential. I don't have all the answers man, I just know that if what you're doing isn't working, it makes no sense to continue like that. I understand you probably already know most of this, but it helps to hear it again anyway.
One more thing: don't ask her what she's doing. That is not a good idea, because it implies that you really don't have any plans and you are allowing HER to call all the shots. You gotta be a leader, be dominant. You from now on tell her you are going to be doing something, and then invite her to do that with you, or suggest that she join you for lunch or something, but don't "ask" her to. If she is interested, she will make time to do something with you, or she will call you back to offer an alternative, or whatever. If not, forget her. If she gives you the busy bullcrap, tell her you are going to just have to do those things with someone else, and to call you back if she changes her mind, all in a nonchalant manner of course. You have shown her you see right through her games and you aren't going to play along, very good. In the case she really IS going to be busy, who cares? Since when do attractive, busy women not have a single hour in the week to spend time with someone? They always make time. You wouldn't tell a girl you were interested in that you are sorry, you're going to be busy the whole weekend, would you? No, you would make a counteroffer, you would tell her when you WON'T be busy, you would make time for her, anything but just say, "sorry, I'm busy this weekend." It could be a game to her yes, or a test, but I've already told you how to completely disable all that. If that is the case, you should do fine, and she would eventually call you back. I hope I have helped you at least a little bit.... sorry for the book, it is my TV hour though
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