tired after 21 approaches since mid-january,live in Madrid

[danieljsalas]

hey guys, i am from venezuela but moved to madrid, since i arrived here with no friends I have been wanting somebody, i have done almost everything in my reach, i went to french classes, dance classes, apart from my master's classes, go out with the few friends i have made, just to see if i could meet anyone. Since january i also promised myself to approach girls to get experience and hit the ones a like the most.

After 21 approaches i have gotten some emails and phone numbers but to no avail, all girls flaked, i was left stranded once at one place, others never picked up the phone, others never sign in over the MSN so i couldnt talk to them.

I approached a HOTTT girl while buying a jacket, it was nerve racking, she seemed nervous as hell and i was a bit too, that was the most freaking of all the approaches since she was with co-workers.

Today I saw a HOTTT one at the mall, she is a 9.5 without any doubt, problem was that the image of that first approach to the girl who sold me the jacket wasnt not fun at all and i was scared like hell for the simple reason that she is busy and sometimes talking with co-workers. So today when i saw this girl talking with a co-worker, i didnt know how to go in, since i wasnt going to buy anything. Also for what i noticed with the other one, this kind of approaches generally fail because she is working and busy and their co-workers are nearby
Any experience with that guys?

2) Today i have realized that I am tired of approaching and not getting anything, i try to do it as normal as possible, trying to be funny and talking just as she was an old friend, but apparently things work different here in Madrid. I know i must not give up, but the worst thing that is happening right now is the lack of motivation to go into the approach since i have not gotten any possitive response.I am tired of feeling lonely but i tried as hell not show it and not act needy or desperate.

any opinions would be welcome

thanks

Daniel

 

[nando]

sad story man

 

[danieljsalas]

i know man, I dont believe it's me, i consider myself a great catch, sometimes i lack confidence and that is what i think is affecting, S****

 

[lyamdb]

It is impossible to practice and not progress.
Although you're not getting any visible and concrete results yet, I think these 21 approaches you have done have had a great positive effect on you. Its just that you don't know it yet. you know, I think its like learning to play an instrument. you seem stuck when practicing and it feels like its going nowhere. but when you get back at it tomorrow, you notice that you have made hell of a progress. I think we don't learn right when we're practicing. the learning takes place after the practice is done, almost unconsciously. this may sound odd but it's not just my theory. read about learning psychology and you'll see.
I think for now its best for you just to give it a short break and have some fun for yourself. don't concentrate on this part of your life for a while. you are concentrating on all the negative feedback you're getting way too much. just let it all go for a while. and don't set a time limit for this break cuz it won't let you feel totally at rest. it may actually take you less than a month but don't think about it. after a few weeks you'll naturally feel like meeting new girls and your confidence will be much higher than now. and then you will know that these 21 approaches weren't absurd!

 

[sav]

ur problem is most likely that you give off an air of desperation, girls can sense it.

you have to NOT need them and they will come flocking.... its an aura that you give off that attracts them to you.

 

[JackPrescott]

I despise the Cold Approach, and myself, refuse to do it. My attitude is "They gotta come to me" And it does happen, and when it does, 90% of the time, they are legitamatley interested in actually dating. Last night, I was sitting next to an HB7, late night at a pub, she was dressed for attention, but she gave me none, and I gave her none, consequently, she was bored all night.

 

[Sandow]

europe is pretty different that the states, it's a lot harder to approach and be successful. except barcelona. lol

 

[Sandow]

or go to ibiza. if u cant score there then there is no hope man.

 

[danieljsalas]

damn....well i thought madrid was a little bit easier....but this is hitting my confidence level like hell, even though i know it shouldn't .....

 

[Tookie]

Your theory holds up cause that is how the body build muscle not when were lifting but when we sleep.

 

[Tookie]

Just keep trying man maybe you come off as a little needy (maybe). Try just getting a job while your trying to find *****es, find a place to play b-ball or some other sport pick up a public hobbie as well as keep approching many you'll be a beast before you know it.

 

[NoMoreTapDancing]

I think it was Einstein who said that the surest sign of madness was to keep doing the same thing and getting the same result. Well... lets look at the facts. 21 approaches. 21 flakes. That is a 100% failure rate. To top it off, you were stood up. These are all not good things. Now, allow me to outline your problems if you will:

Cold Approaching. - If a woman hasn't given you eye contact or any signal that she might be interested, and she's attractive, what make you think you are any different from any of the other 100 guys who have come up to her today?

Pedestaling (Let go of your rating system HB9.5 , HB10 that stuff feeds your ego which creates the next problem on the list which is...)

Nervousness Approaching women is like sonar. You get back what you feed out. If you approach a woman with nervousness, that nervous energy will be fed back to you and the approach will suck. You approach with confidence, you will get confidence back.

Trying to be funny. Stop trying to be funny. Some people have a sense of humour, others don't. If you try to be funny, you will bomb every time. You have to develop a sensitivity and read her personality to know what kinds of things will make her laugh. Also comedy is often funniest when its either abstract of through observing and commenting on the environment and events around you.

Theres more but i think that should cut your flake rate by at least 50%.

 

[NoMoreTapDancing]

Well, RE Cold Approaching, Mr_Elor has made a good point which i failed to point out. You can approach consistantly and hit, and I didn't mean to imply that cold approaching means failure every time. Some people CAN approach 15 girls and get 15 hits. In this instance, it is probably down to the energy you are giving off, relating to the point on nervousness. If you are in a good or better mood than the girl you approach, she CAN become attracted to you based on this alone, which I ought to point out.

Secondly, it is true that anyone can learn to be funny, but it has to come from inside. Comedy is actually a symbol of authority. Something can only be funny if the person making the funny comment has a good grasp of the situation and what is going on. This is why women find guys with good sense of humour attractive. A funny guy understands whats going on around him to the extent that he can look at it in a humourous way, which is a long-winded way represents that he has control of a situation, which makes women feel safe. The funnier the guy, the safer the woman feels. But you have to be funny as in intelligent funny, not toilet humour or clown funny.

 

[ChrizZ]

hey guys, i am from venezuela but moved to madrid, since i arrived here with no friends I have been wanting somebody, i have done almost everything in my reach, i went to french classes, dance classes, apart from my master's classes, go out with the few friends i have made, just to see if i could meet anyone. Since january i also promised myself to approach girls to get experience and hit the ones a like the most.

After 21 approaches i have gotten some emails and phone numbers but to no avail, all girls flaked, i was left stranded once at one place, others never picked up the phone, others never sign in over the MSN so i couldnt talk to them.

I approached a HOTTT girl while buying a jacket, it was nerve racking, she seemed nervous as hell and i was a bit too, that was the most freaking of all the approaches since she was with co-workers.

Today I saw a HOTTT one at the mall, she is a 9.5 without any doubt, problem was that the image of that first approach to the girl who sold me the jacket wasnt not fun at all and i was scared like hell for the simple reason that she is busy and sometimes talking with co-workers. So today when i saw this girl talking with a co-worker, i didnt know how to go in, since i wasnt going to buy anything. Also for what i noticed with the other one, this kind of approaches generally fail because she is working and busy and their co-workers are nearby
Any experience with that guys?

2) Today i have realized that I am tired of approaching and not getting anything, i try to do it as normal as possible, trying to be funny and talking just as she was an old friend, but apparently things work different here in Madrid. I know i must not give up, but the worst thing that is happening right now is the lack of motivation to go into the approach since i have not gotten any possitive response.I am tired of feeling lonely but i tried as hell not show it and not act needy or desperate.

any opinions would be welcome

thanks

Daniel

Post a pic of you. A pic says more than 1000 words.

You can pm one if you don't feel comfortable posting it here...

 

[Donnie Rome]

Keep campaigning until you get elected. Never appear desperate or unsure of yourself.

Being new to the area is a perfect conversation opener. Ask the women about Madrid and where the happening places are.

Don't look at approaching as a job or task. Have fun with it. There's no such thing as failure, only feedback.

 

[danieljsalas]

Thanks a lot guys, this has encouraged me a lot, i know it is hard but i can feel that if i keep on doing it, things will get smoother in a mid-term period. I dont know what the difference between US and Spain is. BUt maybe that can affect too. i'll just keep trying at my best. I have heard that cold approaches are harder than clubs, i dont know to what extent.

Thanks guys.

Bu the way for the person who ask me about the picture. I can send it to you...but what for?

thanks

 

[Microphone Fiend]

keep o approaching man. Ignore all this talk about how things are harder in X country or easier in Y country. Just focus on where you are right now and keep pushing for success man.

Also, usually when I encounter a problem I look into the DJBible/Archives because someone else has likely experienced it already in the 6-7 years that this site has been active, or you can make an approach journal so we can tell you if we spot something awry with your technique.

Anyways happy hunting and stay in there man, Rome wasn't built in a day