Tips on LTR's

[sexy_kuta]

well i wanna make a thread and would like your guys help..

this thread is based on TIPS only..

if you are posting about corrections.. Please message the poster and he will fix it for you.. but please keep this thread for TIPS only...

if u got something to add.. add it..



we all know LTRs arent easily well for most people and then they develop certain things that could turn a girl off.. for examples..

acting clingy- this is when you hung out with the girl.. she did something. like acted romatic to you and u got the butter flies... then the next day u cant stop thinking about her.. u call her lots.. give her flowers... stuff like that.. YOU dont Want that to happen.. CONTROL UR EMOTIONS... cant let her get to you like that..

acting needy - everytime u got a bad day... Dont call her up and talk to her about it.. u know when they say.. if ur having a bad day u should talk to the one u love? BULLLL****! shes gonna leave u if u doo or get turned off.. never ever.. i mean ever come to ur girl for cheering up... u got ur boys for that.. and u got booze too.. your girl should only know one side of u .. and thats the GOOD side...

keep ur self spontaneous - always worry about urself first but dont act selfish.. the first month, the dates should be on what u want.. not her pick.. if u wanna play pool and she wants to go for shopping.. U GUYS ARE GONNA PLAY POOL.. simple is that.. and u arent agreeing to everything she says too.. u got balls to dissagree with her..
BUTTERFLIES.. kill them.. kill them all well at least for 4 months into the relationship.. its natural.. when we like someone we develop the butterfly effect.. this is bad if we use it in the bad way.. you cannot let her know u got the butter flys for her because she might take u for granted or get turned off... dont tell her how u like her. show her.. give her flowers once a while... (after 4 months of going out) do romantic things.. tell her shes beautiful and make it random.. like call her at work just to tell her shes beautiful...

kinda get what im saying? like dont tell her that ur madly in love with her and u would die without her... instead show her ur interested by listening to her..telling her how she is beautiful(dont over compliment her) and make her feel happy


basicly act like yourself... DOnt show off.. dont try to impress her
Let the natural attraction do its thing..

I will gurateed that you will find the woman of your dreams..

 

[Big Eee Zee]

well, then i have a question.

what do you do if you've been with a girl for over a year, and really love her, and she loves you (and you know this, she's said it etc), but she still acts like its just a summer relationship between you?

she never wants to talk, is always saying she wants to go see friends etc.

I know what you'll say, and no it isnt perfect, not if your trying to build companionship.

 

[sexy_kuta]

im not the one to asked because i dont have That much experience but this is what i think...

there are other members on this borad that will ensure u for that.. but i think that you guys arent bounded enough.. try doing romantic things.. kino
when u cuddle make sure ur feet are cuddling too

but your saying that shes not feeling u too hard right now right? she doesnt wanna talk all the time..
u gotta make her want u more...
check the site to learn how to attrach her,
u need her to want u bad thats how because ur ready for that shiit.. its just her

 

[PowertripII]

Setting up for a LTR is in a whole different league than just a casual relationship:

First off, most of what you learn on this board will get you in the door and setup for a few months. After that, you're going to start looking like an absolute weirdo and could be in jeopardy of sabotaging your budding relationship.

She will need flowers at some point but save it for when her dog dies or she's had an awful week. Cheer her up with them, don't reward good behavior because you'll look like a chump.

It's OK to act needy or throw some of your emotional garbage her way- this is taken as a sign of trust (and you should NEVER do this before you feel necessary) that you'll let her peek behind your curtain a bit. They're naturally gossips and always curious so you do have to feed it at times.. Just not all the time.

Keep up the ****y/funny attitude- if you can joke about yourself it's going to save you a lot of battles & nagging down the road. Being oblivious/ego cautious is probably a bigger relationship-ender than most would admit to. Yes, this does mean you can disagree.. just don't take yourself too seriously.

And being spontaneous never hurts- but you do not want to set a pattern that makes her expect it. Some days/weeks you may be bogged down too much to care and it's only going to make you insane if you walk in the door and she's waiting for the 'next big thing'. Pace yourself; start listening to the crap she wants to do and suprising her later on (as it's usually MUCH easier than coming up with it on your own). She's happy, you get points for FINALLY kotowing to her request and everyone lives happily ever after. Or something.

C.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Believe it or not you should consider looking into Doc Love's System when you are considering LTRs.

 

[GatorBait]

Believe it or not you should consider looking into Doc Love's System when you are considering LTRs.

I'll second this.

I'll also say the main problems I see are:

1) The guy loses his identity. Remember before you were going out with this girl and you had your hobbies, you worked out, played sports, and made time to socialize with your buddies? When some guys get into a relationship, they stop doing all the things which made up their personality and attracted the girl to start with. Don't lose your identity and become defined by a relationship.

2) Don't become complacent. A lot of guys will say "Oh, I have the girl now, I don't really need to try as hard anymore." Wrong. Don't let it all hang out. Don't become lazy and show your unattractive side (everyone has one). Don't become needy and hang out with her 24/7. And most importantly, take her out once a week on an official "date". Get dressed up and go to dinner at a restuarant you've never been to. Do something fun and imaginitive. If you do this and don't see her 24/7 your attraction and chemistry will go through the roof. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

 

[sexy_kuta]

wow good tips guys i like it..

and for the butter flies.. its OK to have them.. its ok to love ur girl and to be with her but u gotta understand.. NOT TOO SOON!

i mean At least for the first twom onths... u are the same as u were dating.. only difference is that u opened up A little more.. u start holding her hands..k issing her forehead... and lots of kino.. thats it.. no fuzzy bullshiiiit allowed..

after 2 months.. if u trust ur girl enough u can open up more and more but pace yourself..

come guys more tips!!!! lets make this a sticky

 

[Big Eee Zee]

gatorbait, you win this round. good advice, i have become lazy. i just didnt realize it.

 

[GatorBait]

gatorbait, you win this round. good advice, i have become lazy. i just didnt realize it.

Hey man, it's not about winning and losing. It's all about learning. I'm real glad my post was able to hit home with you (I've made some of those same mistakes in the past). I personally think it's a good mindset that you should never have a relationship where you don't learn something - either about yourself or relationships in general.

 

[realsmoothie]

I'm a little bit disturbed by the distrust of any emotion by some of the posters on this board.

"it's OK to fall in love... but not too soon" or something like that. WHAT? Bud, when you fall in love, you fall in love. It's not something that you just decide some night... "oh, maybe I'll fall in love with her now".

And don't give me the whole "love is only a chemical thing" or crap like that. It may be true, but there is a whole realm of experience beyond the physical world. Don't limit yourself to not feeling for someone just because its basis is in your chemical brain somewhere.

Emotions are real. Just because we want to be strong, powerful, confident men doesn't men we shove them deep down and treat all relationships as some kinds of mean to an end.

 

[sexy_kuta]

I'm a little bit disturbed by the distrust of any emotion by some of the posters on this board.

"it's OK to fall in love... but not too soon" or something like that. WHAT? Bud, when you fall in love, you fall in love. It's not something that you just decide some night... "oh, maybe I'll fall in love with her now".

And don't give me the whole "love is only a chemical thing" or crap like that. It may be true, but there is a whole realm of experience beyond the physical world. Don't limit yourself to not feeling for someone just because its basis is in your chemical brain somewhere.

Emotions are real. Just because we want to be strong, powerful, confident men doesn't men we shove them deep down and treat all relationships as some kinds of mean to an end.

well if we live by our emotions we will be forced to act like an AFC>.. the only reason im justifying that u hold ur emotions for at least 2 months into the relationship is that u dont loose control and become clingly.. it happens to alot of people...

after 2 months its ok to open up and to phone ur girl just to tell her u love her..

im just talkin based on my experience man.. i was too clingy with my ex so i lasted only a month and 4 days

 

[GatorBait]

I'm a little bit disturbed by the distrust of any emotion by some of the posters on this board.

"it's OK to fall in love... but not too soon" or something like that. WHAT? Bud, when you fall in love, you fall in love. It's not something that you just decide some night... "oh, maybe I'll fall in love with her now".

And don't give me the whole "love is only a chemical thing" or crap like that. It may be true, but there is a whole realm of experience beyond the physical world. Don't limit yourself to not feeling for someone just because its basis is in your chemical brain somewhere.

Emotions are real. Just because we want to be strong, powerful, confident men doesn't men we shove them deep down and treat all relationships as some kinds of mean to an end.

I really liked this passage from "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People":

"In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.

Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values."

Awesome passage, imo.

 

[milrenkb]

Staying Spontaneous

1. Get a dice

2. Write 6 nice things to do for your girlfriend (Such as cooking for her, bringing her flowers, sending a nice thinking of you e-mail/ BTW: Very AFC when done in excess but very DJ when done in moderation)

3. Write the next 6 days your available.

4. Hopefully you understand what I'm getting at.

- theres a million different ways you can spin with, use whatever works best for you.

 

[Bigg Boss]

This thread will be classic.

I need to get that book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, it seems promising. Love is a verb... Damn those are good words.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'll second this.

I'll also say the main problems I see are:

1) The guy loses his identity. Remember before you were going out with this girl and you had your hobbies, you worked out, played sports, and made time to socialize with your buddies? When some guys get into a relationship, they stop doing all the things which made up their personality and attracted the girl to start with. Don't lose your identity and become defined by a relationship.

2) Don't become complacent. A lot of guys will say "Oh, I have the girl now, I don't really need to try as hard anymore." Wrong. Don't let it all hang out. Don't become lazy and show your unattractive side (everyone has one). Don't become needy and hang out with her 24/7. And most importantly, take her out once a week on an official "date". Get dressed up and go to dinner at a restuarant you've never been to. Do something fun and imaginitive. If you do this and don't see her 24/7 your attraction and chemistry will go through the roof. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Couldn't have said it any better.

 

[GatorBait]

This thread will be classic.

I need to get that book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, it seems promising. Love is a verb... Damn those are good words.

No kidding. I'm about halfway through the book and my outlook on some things has definitely been refined. I got it to pick up tips for school/business, but it's one of those books that will make you become a more well-rounded person overall, which coincidentally is one of the most attractive things to women. I thoroughly recommend it.

I agree with the love part 100%. I've always tiptoed around the idea that the word "love" is overused, but the author put it perfectly into words. Too often nowadays people throw aournd the word "love" and say they are in love with a person without truly knowing what it is to love.

 

[sexy_kuta]

more tips!
less discussing!

how about tips on keeping ur girl interested?

show her u care?