Tips on letting them KNOW that I like them...

[Cod3r]

Babnik, I know exactly what you're talking about man. I find it extremely difficult to kino girls on dates if they don't know that I'm sexually interested in them first. I have an answer for you, that's worked for me.

First off, I disagree with delta in that you should NEVER show your feelings to a woman. This is completely ridiculous, even though I used to believe it was true. You need to let the girl know that her interactions with you are sexually interested from the very beginning, preferably even before you get her number. NO, you don't tell her "I like you" like an 8th grader would--it's best if you ask her about herself [qualify], then tell her you find it sexy how she does something unique. Make it sound genuine. Don't base it off of looks.

So here's how it works: you let a girl you're sexually interested in her, you watch how she reacts. If she takes it well, then you can get her # and set up a date--THEN on that date, she WILL EXPECT you to get physical. Why? Because by now, she knows very clearly, you want her sexually and she HAS to either choose whether she wants you also or doesn't. If she agrees to the date, then SHE HAS AGREED to let you get physical from the beginning. If she doesn't agree to the date, then congratulations--you just saved a lot of time and can move to the next girl before even wasting your time taking the girl out on a date to hear her say "I thought we're just gonna be friends."

Just asking a girl out IS NOT ENOUGH to make your intentions clear man. If it was, then why would we hear all those stories of people getting put in the friends zone after numerous expensive dates with women?? It's because they NEVER let the girl know they were sexually interested in them!! Hope this helps babnik.

Well spoken bro.


-COd3r

 

[Raikojo17]

dood, dont be a mystery about ur intentions. it doesnt work, women will spend half the time wondering if u like them instead of liking u. for me, i usually am straight up. like on my last pic up, the girl asked me after i asked for he rnumber if i was tryin to game her. u kno wat i said? yes! yes! im tryin to game u. an now she new wat i wanted in the first place and gave me her number. she kno's im interested. so dont be like a little kid, make ur kno that u like her.

 

[Demon]

I will also concur with Jester090.

With one of my recent girls, even I made the mistake of not demonstrating sexual interest. I only made my relational interest clear to her. Despite investing time, energy, and money into developing her relational interest, her sexual drive kicked in and she found some loser (and I really mean loser in the truest sense of the word) to bang. She had a boyfriend, too.

She dropped her standards, although I don't think they were high anyway, because she needed to satisfy her craving. I'd wager that she would have satisfied that craving with me, every night until a part of me fell off, if I only would have more strongly showed sexual interest. Given the constraints of this particular situation, I could successfully pursue a remedy, but I'm not interested in any girl who would choose such a loser over me.

The march simply isn't worth the parade.

 

[Delta]

definitely show.

never say.

"i like you"... ridiculous.

also, if things are so murky on the date, it seems like either the date was agreed upon under dubious pretenses (just friends) or there is absolutely no sexuality being acknowledged. so i guess that was the question then?

kino, eye contact, checking her out...

BIG CONCEPT:

ESCALATING! always escalating. pushing it.

delta

 

[Demon]

"i like you"... ridiculous.

There are no hard and fast rules. Stop the nonsense.

If you're not a wordsmith, you clearly won't succeed with language. You also have to consider that conversation is supremely important to getting women hot and bothered, and even moreso than demonstration, which us men thrive on. We like to see; women like to feel. Women feel more strongly through conversation; yet, what's actually said in the conversation doesn't really matter. It's all about how you say what you say.

If you just come out and say, "Hey, I like you", you're a moron. Any explicit, meaningful statement needs to fit the context, complement the mood, and adapt to the flow of the conversation. More importantly, any explicit and meaningful statement needs to have utility. If there's no reason to say "I've got it bad for you, girl" because her hands are already performing miracle work, then you simply don't say that... unless you can do so in a way that strengthens the vibe and ups her performance.

 

[Delta]

what nonsense? there ARE hard and fast rules - in all kinds of situations in all kinds of disciplines.

and if you read what i had to say about WHY you don't say such things in the previous post, it's pretty obvious that the tactic is well nigh indefensible. within the context of what i was saying, it's dead-fing-on.

BTW - i bring this up because i just talked about it in another thread - pet peeve, man, i HATE IT when guys say "girl" like that. it may work and work well (and i've known many successful djs that say that) and it's not a criticism... but it sounds so utterly "eaaaauuuuughh" to my ears. i am actually shuddering.

delta

 

[Demon]

Your advice would be useful if members of this community were vegetables.

Real DJs adapt their behavior; they don't restrict their game.

Welcome to my Ignore List. It's growing!

 

[mrRuckus]

Welcome to my Ignore List. It's growing!

Wow you're cool. Please add me.

 

[Delta]

haha... oh demon... i am soooo devastated. my mighty heart... she is breaking.

delta

 

[Demon]

Wow you're cool. Please add me.

Thank you! I added you to my Buddy List just to spite you. :rock:

 

[Babnik]

Babnik, I know exactly what you're talking about man. I find it extremely difficult to kino girls on dates if they don't know that I'm sexually interested in them first. I have an answer for you, that's worked for me.

First off, I disagree with delta in that you should NEVER show your feelings to a woman. This is completely ridiculous, even though I used to believe it was true. You need to let the girl know that her interactions with you are sexually interested from the very beginning, preferably even before you get her number. NO, you don't tell her "I like you" like an 8th grader would--it's best if you ask her about herself [qualify], then tell her you find it sexy how she does something unique. Make it sound genuine. Don't base it off of looks.

So here's how it works: you let a girl you're sexually interested in her, you watch how she reacts. If she takes it well, then you can get her # and set up a date--THEN on that date, she WILL EXPECT you to get physical. Why? Because by now, she knows very clearly, you want her sexually and she HAS to either choose whether she wants you also or doesn't. If she agrees to the date, then SHE HAS AGREED to let you get physical from the beginning. If she doesn't agree to the date, then congratulations--you just saved a lot of time and can move to the next girl before even wasting your time taking the girl out on a date to hear her say "I thought we're just gonna be friends."

Just asking a girl out IS NOT ENOUGH to make your intentions clear man. If it was, then why would we hear all those stories of people getting put in the friends zone after numerous expensive dates with women?? It's because they NEVER let the girl know they were sexually interested in them!! Hope this helps babnik.

Thats true. I do not think its too late however, to act sexually on maybe 2nd "date"? I am not freaking taking them to dinner. I took this one girl to a shop and she MADE me buy her ice cream ($3, who cares). Like, she said "Oh...I forgot my credit card!" That date went like so boring and bad...but she agreed to hang out past 10 PM this week. I swear its either my place or her place to watch a movie. No f*cking dinners! And I so need to learn to sexualize my FIRST conversations with a girl and then ask on a date!

 

[Babnik]

Should've expected this....went out on a "date" with that girl and flirted and touched her a little, but in the end she started talking to me as if I was a friend and I was lost...so I thought that this is a lost case regardless and just said "I want to be more than a friend*" to which I got a reply "I just got out of a relationship and I don't know..., but its up to you, I am not forbidding you to date other girls..."

I don't think its worth calling and picking up phone in this case, lol.

But I don't get it...those girls talked about guys who were hitting on them and all they were doing was just talking to them...and they took it as hitting! So, then...me flirting and touching and talking to them all night was NOT hitting? WHAT THE ****?

 

[Bible_Belt]

womenese:

"I just got out of a relationship and I don't know..., but its up to you, I am not forbidding you to date other girls..."

translation to English:

"I just got ouy of a relationship with a clingy afc wuss who cramped my style. Now I'm enjoying the attention I'm getting from men, including you, but I am still going to date several guys. I expect you to date several girls, and if you did that, I would then be especially attracted to you."

 

[Babnik]

womenese:

"I just got out of a relationship and I don't know..., but its up to you, I am not forbidding you to date other girls..."

translation to English:

"I just got ouy of a relationship with a clingy afc wuss who cramped my style. Now I'm enjoying the attention I'm getting from men, including you, but I am still going to date several guys. I expect you to date several girls, and if you did that, I would then be especially attracted to you."

Well, I doubt she meant it like THAT, but how the hell would she know if I am dating other girls or not? Seriously...do I just go date others, give her a call and tell her that I am dating other girls? This makes no sense.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This makes no sense.

Of course it doesn't, but neither do women. When you are seeing other people, even if they don't find out from friends (and if there is just one 'friend of a friend' then they usually find out), women seem to sense it intuitively. There are lots of ways to drop subtle clues as well. Don't reveal much about what you do away from her, and she will probably just assume that you date other girls. This is part of the benefit of remaining a mystery and taking advantage of the powerful motivator of female jealousy.

 

[Babnik]

This makes no sense.

Of course it doesn't, but neither do women. When you are seeing other people, even if they don't find out from friends (and if there is just one 'friend of a friend' then they usually find out), women seem to sense it intuitively. There are lots of ways to drop subtle clues as well. Don't reveal much about what you do away from her, and she will probably just assume that you date other girls. This is part of the benefit of remaining a mystery.

That does it. I'm not dating another another American girl. Its all about fun here, not actually caring about someone.

I have more self respect than to date girls who are dating other guys.

I swear...the only girls I could EVER date were in NYC and they were from the Ukraine like me. They would NOT tolerate a guy dating other girls...thats how it should be!

 

[Bible_Belt]

The dating other people does not have to be permanent. The point is to motivate her enough to meet your needs. You can't expect a commitment from a girl from the very start. Demonstrate value and make her chase you. I actually agree that a monogamous LTR is the best way to live, but you have to put your needs first as a prerequisite to committing to her. If you are going to have the upper hand in the relationship, she has to understand that when she stops meeting your needs, you can easily replace her. I know that sounds cold, but I think it is the grim reality of relationship dynamics.

 

[Babnik]

The dating other people does not have to be permanent. The point is to motivate her enough to meet your needs. You can't expect a commitment from a girl from the very start. Demonstrate value and make her chase you. I actually agree that a monogamous LTR is the best way to live, but you have to put your needs first as a prerequisite to committing to her. If you are going to have the upper hand in the relationship, she has to understand that when she stops meeting your needs, you can easily replace her. I know that sounds cold, but I think it is the grim reality of relationship dynamics.

But is that what I want? Isn't being a DJ about improving yourself and doing what you want?

What if I do not want to be in a relationship where I have to do all these stupid things, where I can just relax and not worry that if I call her the next day 5 times she will try to respond and enjoy it?

I SEE relationships like that where 2 people are just completely relaxed, following NO game rules, just being complete AFC and its great....

I mean...grim reality of relationships? What if its NOT what I want? If something that I want does not exist, then I should not pursue it!

I don't want just sex, I don't want to play silly games, but I want someone who cares about me and values the CONNECTION between us rather than seeing me as being BETTER than others.

If you base your life on going up to ladder of who is better in whatever way, then you will never end that chase, you will never really love and understand it...

 

[rsxtreme]

this better be a good thread

haha

 

[Bible_Belt]

I mean...grim reality of relationships? What if its NOT what I want? If something that I want does not exist, then I should not pursue it!

It is admirable that you are romantic and idealistic; these are positive qualities that you can use to your advantage. But the downside is that the world is not always the way you want it to be, regardless of how much you might want it to be a certain way. It would be great if nice guys finished first, but they don't. If you learn the game and how to push a woman's buttons, then you control the relationship and can turn it into whatever you like. When you keep the reigns and the power, you can turn it into whatever fairy tale romance suits your preference. But you have to keep the upper hand. This involves learning that the interaction is really all a game. Even if you can snag a wife by being afc, if you don't understand the game, you will always risk losing her to someone that does. Whether or not that reality is 'grim' may be a matter of perspective, but it is still reality nonetheless.