Tips for Success

[h2o]

Prologue – Beware, this is a lengthy thread, and this is the shortest version available. Luckily, I’ve made the important points standout, so you can skim if you like.

I’ve been away from this site for about a week, and even though it was only a week, I’ve realized quite a few significant lessons, which I am posting here as tips/thoughts; they should be equally as helpful to some as they also serve as a reiteration for myself. Be wary, that parts of it may be (or sound like) a re-hash, though I like to think of having put a new spin on things from my perspective/experience. And to be honest, I feel like I took too much time to write this...makes me feel like I made up for all the posts I didn’t make this past week…but I won’t be around as much, so I’m okay with it.

I’d also like to note, I refer to the “be a prize” theme a lot throughout this tip. Yes, credit to him for saying that, but I actually never really liked the way he wrote…way too much filler, and took too long to get to the point. And my point here is not to make a wonderful post, etc…I simply hope someone else also finds this helpful. I seriously think a lot of you are…well, just read on…

If anyone reads it completely (best of luck with the attention span, lol), I hope it helps….

Chapter I – Balance

I initially had in mind to leave the site for a good 6 months or more, mainly because I was upset at myself for a recent lack of self-control in terms of my time-management and prioritizing of daily activities. I felt I was spending too much time here (on this site).

Since then, I’ve discovered the significance of balance.

If we all had balance in our lives; meaning proper time management and the ability to appropriately prioritize our daily tasks and goals, etc, we could all be so much more successful in all aspects of our lives (namely, with women).

I felt this site was almost like my crutch. Recently, our fellow CrotchSniffer flamed others (see Thread) for using SoSuave as their

Originally posted by CrotchSniffer
only social outlet!

This statement is wrong, not because members don’t do that, but because this site should not be your social outlet at all!

Yes, it is nice to chat with other people who are as mature as us, but this should not be a social outlet. That is lame, and unproductive, and I fell victim to it.

The Void

Also, aside from that, I kept on reading and reading, as if to fill some sort of void. I kept thinking I was lacking something, despite having gone out and shown that I can be successful with women. I was missing having a fcuking life.

Someone on this site once said, “I think on a sub-conscious level we are in awe of our own potential,” which is indeed very true; the only way to truly understand the reality of this statement is to take action and reach for the sky. None of these quotes or articles will truly mean any thing to you by just reading them, no matter how many times you read them.


I think a lot of us here have been truly afraid of taking that next step of getting our lives together and making that leap forward. We are too comfortable with trying to fill that void, so we stick around day after day, reading more and more, in an attempt to find more answers on how we can get women.


I know, I know, we all learn and grow at different paces, but it’s sometimes literally sickening to see some guys who have been on this site since 2003 or 2004 to still have difficulties with general interactions with women. It is almost like a disease, but only in your own mind, and you are weak by letting it get to you. It’s a lack of desire; of will power…you simply must not want it bad enough. Even more so unbearable is posts by guys who recently broke up with their girlfriends who post about the most utterly meaningless crap like how their hair looks, and sht. You have never understood the main concept. It’s guys like these who went out and tried a few tricks/tips, landed themselves a girl, and never realized that true confidence and other qualities don’t have sht to do with women.


I repeat what I wrote earlier, which I believe is the answer to this problem… I was missing having a fcuking life. In other words, I was not the coveted “prize,” you all speak of. Very very few members here are, and I highly doubt those of them spend lots of time on this site, or continue to discuss “game,” because they’ve seen the bigger picture. A man who truly is the “prize” does not have time to lavishly waste discussing seduction on the Internet. Seriously, if you have your life together, have a cushy well-paying job, a nice ride, a lavish bachelor pad, work-out several days a week to maintain killer abs, have a couple friends with a healthy social life, and have women fawning over you left and right, do you think you’d have a second of time to be discussing who is and is not a fcuking alpha male? You wouldn’t give a sht. You’d be too busy enjoying life and being happy. I don’t even have all that yet, and with just trying to simply have a balanced life this past week, barely had time to waste on Internet forums or the like.


So, rather than make this into one of those vague psychoanalytical posts that preach some bullsht on being the “prize,” and do nothing to tell you how to achieve that level, I will give you some helpful points to get started…keep in mind these are things that I still have not employed to my own full potential quite yet, though I speak from experience in all of them.


Read on...

 

[h2o]

Chapter II – Time

Time-management and Prioritizing

There have been better posts on this subject, but it all comes down to what is important to you. Write down your goals with respect to what is important to you. Keep in mind the long run, and the probable consequences of your actions. Do not plan too much. At most, write down 4 things to focus on, no more than that. Yes, we all want it all, but too many goals can lead to diverting your focus, and hence, failure…besides, you don’t have that much time to be good at everything anyway. Too many goals, and you will likely be mediocre at best, at each…the fewer the goals, the more you can focus on each.


For example, my goals are to improve my grades, continue to take every opportunity with regards to improving my social skills and getting women, to get healthier, and to truly have fun and be happy all the while.

Now prioritize those goals, and dedicate an amount of time to them each day, based on level of importance.

There is no quick fix (see The Void). Sorry if that ruined your day. Unfortunately, for those of you looking to create a façade of techniques, tricks, routines, and canned material to hide your inner ugliness and lack of personality, or lack of ability to develop an original character…you are just as repulsing as the 300lb obese losers who feel like they can watch one fitness video and shed pounds while they sleep.

Success breeds success. Get that in your head, because it applies to any aspect of life in which success and failure are applicable…so, basically it applies to everything.

I had trouble with getting my studying underway. I procrastinated almost endlessly to the point where I began to fail a few tests…not good. I felt like whatever I did, I could not study in a timely manner, a little bit for each course, each day. I always left studying for the very last day before an exam or writing an essay the day before it was due. For a while, it was okay, and I got by…but some courses became more difficult, and I began procrastinating even more.

Deep down, it is like any other fear. Yes, fear. Like I mentioned earlier, “I think on a sub-conscious level we are in awe of our own potential.” I was fearful and apprehensive of ever getting started. And it seems as though I would always put off the harder subjects for last.


So, I wrote down all the bad habits that kept me from studying efficiently. I also figured out what it was that helped me to study during all those "crunch" times when I actually did study efficiently for exams, etc. Since then, I have begun to implement those good study habits on a daily basis. Going to class also helps.


So, Develop habits, good habits. How? Take your bad habits, and turn them into good ones. Change your ways. Do the exact opposite of what you have been doing.


And, if like me, you still could not get going, understand that all it takes is one step. I kept on putting the items on my to-do list off day by day by day. I finally got started, and since then, I have not been able to stop. Get going, just start, it will be the best thing you have ever done. Success breeds success.


Apply this to your approaches and interactions with women. When you first want to approach, you may have some fear, but once you climb over that hill, you will be on top (and eventually you may literally get on top of her :cheer: ). You’ll feel pretty good about yourself, and you’ll want to run down and climb up it again…just like when you were a little kid. Each time you do it, you get better at it, and soon you’ll move onto bigger hills and maybe even mountains. If you succeed…well, I don’t even need to say anything about that…you know how that builds up your momentum. Just keep at it.


You have to spend time on your goals. Day after day, and that really is what makes success that much sweeter. It is the journey, not the destination. You can read that statement like I used to read it, and think ‘yeah, true’ or you can go out and live it, and realize what it’s all about.

Side Note: I discussed time-management with one of the members of this site who does have his life in check, and he recommended post-it notes. I started sticking these on the wall beside my door, and on my room door, to remind myself of things I need to do when I go in/out of my room. It somewhat helped me to get started on my path…and although after starting, I have abandoned the idea, I think it could be a helpful hint for some of you others (?)


Remember, you can apply “Success breeds success” to literally anything.


Lastly, with regards to this site, manage your visitation appropriately as well. Apply the old 80/20 Rule. I will be coming here maybe once a week, or once every two or three weeks. Only then will I be able to post something of substance or to ask real questions. I suggest you do the same. No offense, but 85% of the posts (on the main Discussion forum, specifically) here are useless bullsht that do not help neither the original poster, nor those who read and try to help him (or her, lol). The Anything Else forum? Get a social life…again, don’t let this place be any tiny bit of your social outlet, because it was never meant for that purpose.


So, basically, 80% experience, 20% reading. Visit this site 2-3 times per month to Preach What You Practice …and not the other way around, please.

 

[h2o]

Chapter III – Feel Good

Smile goddamn it. I can’t begin to explain how much this helps. No matter how much of a pimp or player (and I’m not) you think you are, just smile at a few girls to start off your day.

Okay, you don’t fear women, and don’t have problems interacting with people, but why should you walk around with a frown on your face? Make yourself feel good…smile at someone so they will smile back at you. When someone smiles at you, I find it very difficult to not smile back, if they are smiling naturally, keyword, naturally. It is almost as if it is some instinctual response programmed into our brains that instantly triggers a smile when someone smiles at us that way. Look, for all you science geeks who are going to analyze the technical validity of my previous sentence to death, don’t bother…I’m not trying to make any rocket science discoveries here. Just smile at one person to get them to smile at you, hence, making yourself feel good, and starting your day off on the right foot. I still do it every day, still greet one or two girls on my way to class, simply because it makes me feel good.

Do it for yourself.

 

[h2o]

Chapter IV – Be Interesting

Be interesting. To be interesting, you must be interesting. Catch-22? Not exactly.


I recently lost all of whatever respect I had for Mystery (the renowned PUA), and all other PUAs ever known to mankind. Listen to this audio clip by Mystery. It was posted in a thread I read here today.


I was absolutely repulsed by it. If you did not listen to it, I typed out some of it verbatim, here:

“When what you say and how you say it don't match up in a natural manner, you have what we call, Incongruence. To get a woman interested in you, you must be interesting.”

Okay, true, very true indeed. But just when I thought he was saying something meaningful, he blew my mind with the rest…

“That is why the seduction community shares interesting stories and routines, so that you can BE interesting. What one man can do, another man can do. Some have suggested, that you should “just be yourself,” and not use, successful pickup artists' interesting scripts. You can't solve the problem of incongruence by simply being yourself, unless of course, you want to continue being alone. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. A change must be made to make you interesting, and that change occurs through the use of interesting field-tested and proven material.”

And that's where I stopped listening and lost all respect for any pick up artist who ever existed. What the FCUK? He is brainwashing young guys to cover up their self-esteem and confidence issues to buy his tricks/routines/material. Unfortunately, many guys fall for it. This is the worst advice EVER.


Let me clarify the nonsense in his bullsht advertisement. Yes, you should not keep doing the same things if you are not getting anywhere, but it does not mean you must use complicated pick-up material. It is very detrimental for those who lack inner game, to resort to these tactics because they will never progress mentally. It is a façade, and you can’t keep it up forever.

I think it was Fingerz who once wrote…if you use such PUA tactics and fake your mystery and air of being a “prize,” and the girl unexpectedly shows up at your door one day…”you’re sitting there, playing video games, unshaven, half-eaten pizza on the floor, room messy as hell, etc…mystery gone, you are no longer the prize, and bam! She will lose a significant amount of interest.” Don’t live your life covering up a lie or hiding the secret that you are really a fake.

Learn to be real.

To truly be interesting is actually simpler than the whole tactics, bullsht PUA route. Sure that will get you some women in the short-term, but then again, being a MAN is so much more appealing. So, how do you become interesting? There are some prerequisites and requirements. You must like yourself…err, you must love yourself. You must be happy.


Get a fcuking life.


This goes hand in hand with the whole time-management thing. Add some fcuking substance to your life. Stop being mediocre. I mean, get some hobbies. Start having fun. If you’re in school, join some clubs/activities. If you’re not in school get involved in community clubs/activities. Join a gym and remember to go.

Fill your daily/weekly/monthly schedule with interesting, fun activities. Have something fun to do, and make sure you choose things that will help you excel with respect to your goals. Will a certain opportunity help you excel socially, mentally, or physically? Take it then.

So many guys here preach the whole “be the prize” and very very few actually live it. Like I mentioned earlier, if you did have such an interesting life, why would you come here so often, or how would you even have time? And I say this not because I've been the prize...but I just took some very basic steps (as I have described here), in that direction, and I barely had any time to waste this past week. And was I meeting girls? Phew...I met so many girls in the past week...I haven't met that many in the past few months...it was like several a day.

Meet people, and lots of them.

Unless you are socially challenged because you are seriously mentally retarded, you will meet new people, guaranteed. In fact, if you do any of the above and do not meet any new people, send me a PM with your address, and I’ll send you a check for 10,000USD. You can’t not meet people or not have a social circle if you get out and have a life. It’s simply impossible.

So many posts here by guys in school who want to know where to meet women; God damn, there’s women everywhere. It’s like every time I go out, I see them. LOL.

 

[h2o]

Chapter V – Life is a Game

“Life is a Game! …Play or Die”

A perspective that has helped me very much, posted by the late Player_Supreme, is viewing life as a game. Here’s an excerpted portion of his original tip:

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Life is a Game!

Everything is a game.

You have the choice of entering the game and playing or sitting on the side lines.

How many of you when you get on an elevator:

A. look at your feet
B. Look straight ahead
C. Look at the numbers
D. Start talking to people around you.

If you choose D then you are the type of person who enters the game. Everything you encounter is a transaction. You can enter it or not.

If you’re in line at the grocery store you can enter the transaction of (being in line) and make it to your benefit or you can do a-c.

Thereby missing opportunities to grow.

I just read a post about when the game ends? I responded that it never ends. And that is true! Everything is a game.

Think about how many missed opportunities that you allow to pass you by each and every day!

I’ve been subscribing to this perspective lately, and each day I get better and better at it. Even though the elevator is just an example, since then I have not rode in an elevator without making brief conversation or joking around with others (and I use an elevator at least once a day). I have yet to not take an opportunity any more. Regret? Bah, what’s that? I have opened so many girls in the past week alone, that it is just crazy…like I said, they’re EVERYWHERE. (ok, ok, I know I've been saying this a lot, but it's because it's true)

You all need to just open your eyes, because it is a lot easier with your eyes open.


Comfort Zones

I would like to expand this perspective to the idea/concept of comfort zones. Everyone has places where they are more comfortable than others. With regards to the above tip, I do not expect that you would be comfortable chatting someone up in an elevator if you rarely ride in one, or you are somewhere you have never been before (or rarely go).


In other words, there are many areas where you have been before, and are comfortable, but still do not take advantage of. Go through one complete day, and note all the times you could have made conversation with someone and did not. I bet there are tons of opportunities. Don’t take yourself so seriously, do it with the intention of enjoying it, and just relax…(see Smile, if you need to get started on the right foot). Also, who cares if it’s a hot girl or an ugly old hag? Talk to everyone. I’ve found that some times it is more enjoyable conversing with the ugly old hag than with the super hot chick, who is so messed up by society she almost 80% of the time thinks that just because you talk to her that you want to fcuk her, and thus, lacks personality or refuses to show it.


You also need to constantly expand your comfort zones. The more you go somewhere and interact socially, etc, the more comfortable you will become. For example, have any of you read the tip once posted here that suggested that “when you walk around somewhere you should act like you own the place” in order to project confidence (or confident body language)? Well, that is complete bullsht. If you’re not comfortable, then do not fake it until you make it. However, when you truly extend your comfort zone to somewhere you were not originally comfortable, you will, deep-down, feel like you actually own that arena.


I have one or two particular places where I can open anyone, start a conversation with anyone, and I do act like I own that place, because I actually feel it. I naturally project that aura…and people have complimented that I have an “aura of confidence and security,” even though I was not aware of it at all. Half the time, cute girls will open me…and not the other way around…and no, it’s not my room, very far from it. We all have that one or two places we love to be, where we can truly be ourselves, and naturally attract the presence of others. If you don’t, well then get out there and start expanding your comfort zones…you must not be getting out as often as you should be.

 

[h2o]

Chapter VII – More on Comfort Zones

Respect Other People’s Comfort Zones

I know for sure that Gunwitch has discussed this concept in his article “GWM Club.” With regards to club approaches, he advises that you should not approach girls who have just entered the venue, because you should give them a little time to settle-in and get comfortable with the environment (among other reasons). Although you may think this does not apply to daytime, it does actually. It is a very important concept if you would like others to easily be comfortable in/with your presence.


Definitely do not do approaches before having resided in the near vicinity for at least a few seconds, have made eye contact, or have smiled/signaled. Sure, you can still bolt at her, but it surely will not be as effective. Take your time. There is no rush. Take time to make eye contact, to smile, then to converse. It is not rocket science, if you do it enough, you won’t even think about it.


So basically, what I’m saying is, "fcuk the 3-second rule". Yes, for you who are still fearful of approaches, stick to it; but if you are no longer afraid of approaching, forget you ever read it.


Start observing your surroundings. Look for an opening or think of something you’ll open with. Just “hey” or a simple greeting is fine, but be creative and have fun with it…that’s not to say go contrive an entire conversation in your head…I’m saying, have fun and think of openers on the fly, and enjoy yourself god damn it.


Also, the reason you have to enjoy it and have a good time is because, like Mystery said (though backed up with extremely poor explanation/bullsht)…you have to be interesting to attract women. Heck, you have to be interesting to genuinely attract anyone.


For example, if you are in a library or a bookstore, and you see a girl reading a book, be sure you have a good reason to disturb her. Do you think just because you want some pvssy she’s going to stop reading and be all eyes and ears just because your boring-ass said so? Nope. Again, this is after you’ve conquered your fear of approaches. Yes, a few girls hang out at such locations for the sake of meeting guys, and that is why you must observe her for a minute or so before approaching. You can tell if she keeps looking around or if she is literally buried in what she is reading. If the latter is evident and you choose to approach, you must capture her attention. Even if the former situation is the case, you must still offer something better than what she is currently engaged in (though more difficult if she is already fully engaged in something). Your presence must be interesting, and you should offer her something more interesting than what she is interested in at the moment - in other words, she's very likely to reject you if you are boring. That is not supplication or trying to impress her (it unfortunately can be if you take the PUA route), it’s a fact, so accept it. If she did not find you interesting, who gives a flying fcuk; either it was not the best time/place to approach, or you two were just not meant to be, accept it. Don’t regret diddly squat. Always focus on the present.

 

[h2o]

Epilogue

Don Juan is a terrible name for this site. According to dictionary.com, a Don Juan is ” A man who is an obsessive seducer of women.”


That is a PUA. Therefore, the name, Don Juan, contradicts most of the articles in the Bible and Tips section of this site.

Hence, there is much much confusion over what/who a Don Juan is. Too many guys here are trying to be pimps and players, or trying to be something that they were not born to be...something they are not.


The very few members who consistently attract women with little external game effort, do not subscribe to that (above) definition. Let’s all assume being a Don Juan is being a man. Let’s say it is how I described it earlier in this post, as:

Having your life together, have a cushy well-paying job, a nice ride, a lavish bachelor pad, work-out several days a week to maintain killer abs, have a couple friends with a healthy social life, and in addition, have the basic self-confidence and self-esteem inner game issues in check.


Everyone here can achieve that.

It all starts with your inner game. Then you take action.


Heck, everyone here can be an “obsessive seducer of women” too…haha, if you want.


Lastly, if you try every single thing, and still don’t succeed…then you must realize that…

If it's not in you, you can't be it, so just face reality...if everyone here was awesome with women, do you think the world would work? Nope...for some to be successful, others will have to fail...if you don't see that on a daily basis, you need to learn to accept it soon enough. For you to succeed, others will fail. In other words, why are there so few guys on this site that keep it real? Because in order for them to succeed others MUST fail. It's just the way the world works. There will always be AFCs, and some of you will be amongst them FOREVER. It's just a basic fact that everybody cannot win.

I think this is a very important point that few people here accept (I should probably post it separately), because they like to feel like everyone can do it. Maybe they’ve been listening to too much PUA bullsht, but honestly, that’s not true, not everyone will make it.


Accept it and live with it.

 

[AFK Protector]

....so beautiful...

Hell, this ain't bible material. This IS the fvckin bible!!

Props man. Props to you, your family, and your children.

5 STARS!!!

 

[jiza101]

Good wakeup call mate, i have been down the PUA route and it is all fake, all of it.... My problem is i am so self conscious, i think if i would **** myself, why would some chick Every guy i judge, i judge his looks, his acts, his flaws, everything, i REALLY NEED TO STOP THIS.. Just not sure what step to take

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Someone on this site once said, “I think on a sub-conscious level we are in awe of our own potential,”

That was me!

Great article by the way.

 

[LIME!]

The post was very inspiring, until the end!

There are unfortunately people who cannot be successful with women: the profoundly retarded, severely autistic, the hideously ugly, genuine paupers -- and I wouldn't even discount these kinds of people in all cases.

The "some people must lose" idea assumes a scarcity. There's not one. If this site doubled the number of DJs on the planet, hot girls would have sex with twice as many men and be happy to do it!

The number of opportunities for sex is astronomical:

HBs on earth X number of 10 minute time slots per year X life span = A BIG Fing NUMBER!

~300,000,000 X 56560 X ~70 = ~1103760000000000

Or about 370000 sexings for every man and boy. So go and sarge for that 370000!

 

[thefonz]

Someone put this **** at the top of the bible......Immediately

Godam H2O you've evolved from prokaryotic bacteria to homo sapien in the span of 1 year ......simply eye opening and incredibly honest.


He's right about climbing hills and getting the ball rolling.......once you start getting the momentum DO NOT SLACK cus as soon as it starts, it will stop if you don't keeping pushing it. To quote Maynard from Tool, "Swing on the spiral out, keep going." Trust me, you will get used to it

Props on explaining the difference between a PUA and a Don Juan. This post is perfect timing on this board

 

[hfxchef]

It's so ****ing true... I need to get a life!!

 

[Carnegie]

Good stuff, man! I got to start living life.

 

[Labayu]

bump

 

[dyce]

damn h2o u just saved my life

5 stars, this better be in the bible

 

[Gobar Bomb]

how can i be more interesting?????????

 

[Anomalous]

Originally posted by h2o
Epilogue




Heck, everyone here can be an “obsessive seducer of women” too…haha, if you want.




Maybe they’ve been listening to too much PUA bullsht, but honestly, that’s not true, not everyone will make it.

 

[guitaronfire411]

IMO, if you have to ask how to be interesting, you probably don't have it.

Just like being a Don Juan. You either have reached that level or you're still working on it in some area. However, once you recognize that you're at least competent, further refinement comes. Ah, the costs.

 

[DJ4Real]

Good post, h20. I knew all the stuff that you mentioned, but it made things a bit more clear.