bloodhound
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2015
- Messages
- 10
- Reaction score
- 5
Hey guys,
I'd like to preface this post by stating I'm no expert by any means when it comes to seduction or courting women. As a Beta and soon-to-be aspiring Alpha, I've had my fair share of rejections and misfires in the past with women. With that being said, I have learnt a great deal in my recent experiences that I'd like to share with y'all. In particular, I noticed that alot of the guys here tend to dig themselves into a big hole when it comes to overtexting and reacting from a place of paranoia. My objective here is to share some of my observations about the value of maintaining self control and keeping one's composure, and how it pays dividends in the long run.
1. Texting
As it has been emphasized before countless times, the phone is STRICTLY for setting dates and logistics only. Bantering over text does absolutely NOTHING to increase your chances with a girl (unless it involves sexting or a game). When it's all said and done, you're more likely to take yourself out of the game by overtexting than by undertexting. Mundane questions such as 'How are you?' and 'What you up to?' are not only boring but also demand a response from the girl. If anything, you should be saving these questions for a personal meet up to keep the conversation flowing.
Think about it from the other side, are you more likely to respond to a text that reads 'How are you?' or another text with a joke that conveys value? Even if you do reply to the former, its forced and purely out of a sense of obligation. To create rapport, you can't 'demand' anything from a girl and must establish a certain level of comfort.
Are you more likely to keep texting a girl that does not reply or a girl that overtexts you? The uncertainty that comes with not knowing what the other person is thinking is more POWERFUL than a long winded text.
Why do guys constantly feel compelled to send follow up texts? Because they're not in control of the conversation and have to have absolute certainty that the girl has acknowledged their text and not forgotten about them. The solution? End the conversation by either saying you have to go or not responding to their text (I personally prefer the latter). If you're not expecting a text from them, you won't feel anxious or feel the need to resort to excessive texting.
Recommendations:
A. Unless you are confirming the time and venue of a date, DO NOT ask questions about her that demand a response. Instead, make statements that convey value, playful jibes, references to when you guys met, that tempt her to respond.
B. If you have nothing to say, don't say it. DO NOT reply to texts like 'okay', 'good night' or 'hahaha' and just leave it at that. Bottom line is, if there's no value to be had in responding or nothing important in their response, just forget it.
C. Where possible, end the text conversation on a high note and leave it at that. That way, it doesn't seem like you're on the losing end if you text again a week later. Chances are they'll text you first if you don't let it drag on.
D. You don't always have to answer her questions directly. For instance, I always respond to 'How are you?' questions with something completely random or leave them hanging. E.g the girl said but you haven't answered my question and i would say well meet me and find out then
E. NO LONG texts. Always reply with texts that convey only half the amount of investment she puts in. Brevity is the soul of wit. Are you more likely to reply to a long ass text or a short one (that raises more questions than answers)? The trick is to put yourself in her shoes and think about how you would respond.
2. Fear
This generally only applies to girls you have ****ed, girls you've been intimate with or girls who have invested alot of time and effort into you. The fact of the matter is, a woman's emotions are NEVER constant. One day they can be into you, but the next thing you know they could be avoiding you like the plague.
A. A Vicious Cycle
The first step to getting out of this mentality (where you have to constantly make sure the girl is still into you) is to take a step backwards and take a deep breathe. Understand that its a cycle, and that women will not always be into you 24/7 and that there will be times when they'll lost interest (like cats!). Once you understand that they'll always come back (one way or another), you'll no longer fear losing them.
Whether you're married or in a relationship, the attention from her will not always be there forever. There are times when you just have to take a step back and let her internalize her ****.
B. Attraction cannot be forced
When a girl has clearly lost interest in you, no amount of texting, pining or things you do will EVER get it back. The same concept applies when it comes to those who are anxious about losing their woman to another man. You can't change the way a woman feels about you (in the moment) or 'force' her to fall in love with you again. Reaching out to her when she clearly doesn't want you (right now) is only going to annoy her further, whereas inaction will create a sense of mystery and make her wonder. The more you pressure, or control her, the more likely you are to drive her away permanently as she'll feel less comfortable around you. Besides, what's the point of forcing yourself to police her all the time? You won't be able to relax and will always be on anxious and on the edge. If she's gonna cheat on you, she'll cheat on you. There's nothing you can do about that, as far as her feelings are concerned.
The only thing that is within your power to do, is to show her a good time and remind her what a catch you are and what she's missing. Always make sure she associates you with positivity and good emotions. Then, let time take its natural course and take care of the rest.
NEVER ever lose your composure and show her the side of you that's desperate or needy. Women are turned off by men who are insecure or attention seeking. Above all else, its about maintaining your integrity as a man and not compromising yourself for her attention.
Just my 2 cents! Writing about it is also therapeutic for my situation.
I'd like to preface this post by stating I'm no expert by any means when it comes to seduction or courting women. As a Beta and soon-to-be aspiring Alpha, I've had my fair share of rejections and misfires in the past with women. With that being said, I have learnt a great deal in my recent experiences that I'd like to share with y'all. In particular, I noticed that alot of the guys here tend to dig themselves into a big hole when it comes to overtexting and reacting from a place of paranoia. My objective here is to share some of my observations about the value of maintaining self control and keeping one's composure, and how it pays dividends in the long run.
1. Texting
As it has been emphasized before countless times, the phone is STRICTLY for setting dates and logistics only. Bantering over text does absolutely NOTHING to increase your chances with a girl (unless it involves sexting or a game). When it's all said and done, you're more likely to take yourself out of the game by overtexting than by undertexting. Mundane questions such as 'How are you?' and 'What you up to?' are not only boring but also demand a response from the girl. If anything, you should be saving these questions for a personal meet up to keep the conversation flowing.
Think about it from the other side, are you more likely to respond to a text that reads 'How are you?' or another text with a joke that conveys value? Even if you do reply to the former, its forced and purely out of a sense of obligation. To create rapport, you can't 'demand' anything from a girl and must establish a certain level of comfort.
Are you more likely to keep texting a girl that does not reply or a girl that overtexts you? The uncertainty that comes with not knowing what the other person is thinking is more POWERFUL than a long winded text.
Why do guys constantly feel compelled to send follow up texts? Because they're not in control of the conversation and have to have absolute certainty that the girl has acknowledged their text and not forgotten about them. The solution? End the conversation by either saying you have to go or not responding to their text (I personally prefer the latter). If you're not expecting a text from them, you won't feel anxious or feel the need to resort to excessive texting.
Recommendations:
A. Unless you are confirming the time and venue of a date, DO NOT ask questions about her that demand a response. Instead, make statements that convey value, playful jibes, references to when you guys met, that tempt her to respond.
B. If you have nothing to say, don't say it. DO NOT reply to texts like 'okay', 'good night' or 'hahaha' and just leave it at that. Bottom line is, if there's no value to be had in responding or nothing important in their response, just forget it.
C. Where possible, end the text conversation on a high note and leave it at that. That way, it doesn't seem like you're on the losing end if you text again a week later. Chances are they'll text you first if you don't let it drag on.
D. You don't always have to answer her questions directly. For instance, I always respond to 'How are you?' questions with something completely random or leave them hanging. E.g the girl said but you haven't answered my question and i would say well meet me and find out then
E. NO LONG texts. Always reply with texts that convey only half the amount of investment she puts in. Brevity is the soul of wit. Are you more likely to reply to a long ass text or a short one (that raises more questions than answers)? The trick is to put yourself in her shoes and think about how you would respond.
2. Fear
This generally only applies to girls you have ****ed, girls you've been intimate with or girls who have invested alot of time and effort into you. The fact of the matter is, a woman's emotions are NEVER constant. One day they can be into you, but the next thing you know they could be avoiding you like the plague.
A. A Vicious Cycle
The first step to getting out of this mentality (where you have to constantly make sure the girl is still into you) is to take a step backwards and take a deep breathe. Understand that its a cycle, and that women will not always be into you 24/7 and that there will be times when they'll lost interest (like cats!). Once you understand that they'll always come back (one way or another), you'll no longer fear losing them.
Whether you're married or in a relationship, the attention from her will not always be there forever. There are times when you just have to take a step back and let her internalize her ****.
B. Attraction cannot be forced
When a girl has clearly lost interest in you, no amount of texting, pining or things you do will EVER get it back. The same concept applies when it comes to those who are anxious about losing their woman to another man. You can't change the way a woman feels about you (in the moment) or 'force' her to fall in love with you again. Reaching out to her when she clearly doesn't want you (right now) is only going to annoy her further, whereas inaction will create a sense of mystery and make her wonder. The more you pressure, or control her, the more likely you are to drive her away permanently as she'll feel less comfortable around you. Besides, what's the point of forcing yourself to police her all the time? You won't be able to relax and will always be on anxious and on the edge. If she's gonna cheat on you, she'll cheat on you. There's nothing you can do about that, as far as her feelings are concerned.
The only thing that is within your power to do, is to show her a good time and remind her what a catch you are and what she's missing. Always make sure she associates you with positivity and good emotions. Then, let time take its natural course and take care of the rest.
NEVER ever lose your composure and show her the side of you that's desperate or needy. Women are turned off by men who are insecure or attention seeking. Above all else, its about maintaining your integrity as a man and not compromising yourself for her attention.
Just my 2 cents! Writing about it is also therapeutic for my situation.
