De La Soul
Master Don Juan
Confidence. How many articles on confidence will you read before you become.....well...confident. You've read all the great ones on this site but you still don't have it. After you read them you tell yourself: TOMORROW IS THE DAY. I'm gonna knock all the girls off their feet! But we all have to know that tomorrow never comes. You have to start TODAY! You may have read great articles on confidence such as "Be A Man!" by Pook. But the problem with articles like these are that they are a little too abstract. After you read them you get a buzz, but when you get out into the big wide world you find yourself forgetting all about "Becoming the Great Catch" as quickly as you learnt it. Here are some concrete things you can do that will build your confidence.
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1. Discover what you want to do in your life. Write these things down and make a pledge to work towards them. Make a plan of how you will achieve these goals. Aim to achieve at least two of your goals each year. Now what do you have? AMBITION! And ambition is a great confidence builder.
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2. Get a job. Preferably a job that involves a lot of communication with other people so that you can develop your people-skills. Also, how are you going to be confident without some cash in your back pocket? This ain't the movies so wake up and realise that most people who don't work are not confident people. They're not confident because the don't have money. It's as simple as that. Aim high but start small. Even if you plan to be the CEO of a huge, faceless corporation one day, realise that you have to have some starting money to get that opportunity.
The easiest way to get a job is through connections. If you've got a friend who works in a record shop, ask him what the situation there is. If you've got a friend who owns a record shop then get your head out of your ass and tell him to give you a job!
Send an application in to as many places as possible! The best way to have a baby is to have regular sex, the best way to have a job is to post regular application forms. Throw enough mud and some of it will stick.
---------------------------------------------
3. Work out. Get fit, get healthy, get a little bit of muscle on you! WARNING: The Health and Fitness Forum should not be your teacher! If you wanna start pumping iron, go to a gym and ask a qualified professional for some tips.
Having said this, doing a few searchs on the Health + Firness Forum will not hurt. Particularly if you are interested in GAINING OR LOSING MASS.
---------------------------------------------
4. Affirmations. Every day when you wake up and/or every day when you go to sleep strike a pose in front of the mirror and say something positive about yourself, even if it's not true. Say it like you mean it. Imagine that it's true. If you keep this up for a few months, you will start to notice results: many of the things you have told yourself in the mirror will start to happen and you will develop a more positve attitude to life.
Some examples of affirmations are:
- "I am a magnet for beautiful women. I am confident, calm and charasmatic."
- "I am a great man. I am strong. No one dares to challenge my authority and I command the respect of both my friends and enemies."
- "I am great at kino and neg-hits. I realise that both of these are great weapons for attracting babes and I am not afraid to unleash their power."
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5. Join a club. There is no better way to make new friends and other connections. Whether it be football or soccer, darts or debating the result will be that you will come out feeling more confident about yourself.
---------------------------------------------
6. Want to be accepted by others? Well first you have to ACCEPT THEM. This means
a) SMILING
b) INITIATING CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM
c) LISTENING TO THEM.
WARNING: Do not try to impress people. You will come off looking like... a guy who is desperately trying to impress people. Just remember to smile, initiate, and listen.
---------------------------------------------
7. Go out and make eye contact with strangers and then smile at them. Watch them smile back and realise that you have the potential to make anyone on earth smile.
---------------------------------------------
8. Get REJECTED! There is no better way to avoid the pain of rejection than to get rejected. Go out without a care in the world and try to get as many phone numbers as possible. If you seriously try you are guaranteed to get a good number of rejections, not necessarily because people don't like you are because they think you're ugly, but simply for the reason that they're having a bad day or they don't give their number to someone they just met.
Aim to get rejected. Set yourself a quota of rejections each week. E.g. 10 in a week.
The good thing about this is that you will become indifferent to rejection, it will no longer bother you! And you never know, you might even come out of it with a few numbers!
Then you can regroup and have a laugh about your rejections with your friends over a few beers.
Key Rejection Quotes:
- "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." ~African Proverb
- "The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do"
- "If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had tried to do nothing and succeeded." ~Lloyd Jones
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9. Go out to have fun as often as you can. If you've got a free night get your friends together and go out to have some fun and shake things up!
---------------------------------------------
10. Talk to all those people who you see often but never really talk to, and to all those people who you wish you had the courage to talk to. All it takes is a "Hi, how are you doin?" A few questions and you've got yourself the beginnings of a conversation.
---------------------------------------------
11. Be unpredictable. Surprise yourself. Surprise your friends. If a challenge presents itself that you would normailly shirk from, approach it head on.
Finally, throw out the rule book. There are no rules! Live your life as you would love to live it and stop letting your fears hold you back. The key to confidence is in your mind. If you follow all of the above rules, your mind will develop confidence by itself.
Start today. I am not fvcking joking. Start today or don't start at all. Once you have read this article I want you to start being a confident man TODAY! If you are reading this as you are about to go to sleep then go to sleep later! Get into some affirmations or start looking for a job, anything!
You may have come to the end of this article and thought "Hey, I already knew a lot of that stuff....bah I'm not even gonna try it... ALL THAT STUFF TAKES TOO LONG AND TOO MUCH EFFORT." Well if that's your attitude I can tell you right now that is sheer laziness. You have to be willing to try! You will start seeing results within a week of starting any of these things. If you do all of these things you will have no trouble at all seeing changes beause people will probably start telling you that you are becoming more confident or positve.
Try them.
Confidence is 50% attitude, 50% experience.
De La Soul
[This message has been edited by De La Soul (edited 10-24-2002).]
---------------------------------------------
1. Discover what you want to do in your life. Write these things down and make a pledge to work towards them. Make a plan of how you will achieve these goals. Aim to achieve at least two of your goals each year. Now what do you have? AMBITION! And ambition is a great confidence builder.
---------------------------------------------
2. Get a job. Preferably a job that involves a lot of communication with other people so that you can develop your people-skills. Also, how are you going to be confident without some cash in your back pocket? This ain't the movies so wake up and realise that most people who don't work are not confident people. They're not confident because the don't have money. It's as simple as that. Aim high but start small. Even if you plan to be the CEO of a huge, faceless corporation one day, realise that you have to have some starting money to get that opportunity.
The easiest way to get a job is through connections. If you've got a friend who works in a record shop, ask him what the situation there is. If you've got a friend who owns a record shop then get your head out of your ass and tell him to give you a job!
Send an application in to as many places as possible! The best way to have a baby is to have regular sex, the best way to have a job is to post regular application forms. Throw enough mud and some of it will stick.
---------------------------------------------
3. Work out. Get fit, get healthy, get a little bit of muscle on you! WARNING: The Health and Fitness Forum should not be your teacher! If you wanna start pumping iron, go to a gym and ask a qualified professional for some tips.
Having said this, doing a few searchs on the Health + Firness Forum will not hurt. Particularly if you are interested in GAINING OR LOSING MASS.
---------------------------------------------
4. Affirmations. Every day when you wake up and/or every day when you go to sleep strike a pose in front of the mirror and say something positive about yourself, even if it's not true. Say it like you mean it. Imagine that it's true. If you keep this up for a few months, you will start to notice results: many of the things you have told yourself in the mirror will start to happen and you will develop a more positve attitude to life.
Some examples of affirmations are:
- "I am a magnet for beautiful women. I am confident, calm and charasmatic."
- "I am a great man. I am strong. No one dares to challenge my authority and I command the respect of both my friends and enemies."
- "I am great at kino and neg-hits. I realise that both of these are great weapons for attracting babes and I am not afraid to unleash their power."
---------------------------------------------
5. Join a club. There is no better way to make new friends and other connections. Whether it be football or soccer, darts or debating the result will be that you will come out feeling more confident about yourself.
---------------------------------------------
6. Want to be accepted by others? Well first you have to ACCEPT THEM. This means
a) SMILING
b) INITIATING CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM
c) LISTENING TO THEM.
WARNING: Do not try to impress people. You will come off looking like... a guy who is desperately trying to impress people. Just remember to smile, initiate, and listen.
---------------------------------------------
7. Go out and make eye contact with strangers and then smile at them. Watch them smile back and realise that you have the potential to make anyone on earth smile.
---------------------------------------------
8. Get REJECTED! There is no better way to avoid the pain of rejection than to get rejected. Go out without a care in the world and try to get as many phone numbers as possible. If you seriously try you are guaranteed to get a good number of rejections, not necessarily because people don't like you are because they think you're ugly, but simply for the reason that they're having a bad day or they don't give their number to someone they just met.
Aim to get rejected. Set yourself a quota of rejections each week. E.g. 10 in a week.
The good thing about this is that you will become indifferent to rejection, it will no longer bother you! And you never know, you might even come out of it with a few numbers!
Then you can regroup and have a laugh about your rejections with your friends over a few beers.
Key Rejection Quotes:
- "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." ~African Proverb
- "The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do"
- "If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better off than if you had tried to do nothing and succeeded." ~Lloyd Jones
---------------------------------------------
9. Go out to have fun as often as you can. If you've got a free night get your friends together and go out to have some fun and shake things up!
---------------------------------------------
10. Talk to all those people who you see often but never really talk to, and to all those people who you wish you had the courage to talk to. All it takes is a "Hi, how are you doin?" A few questions and you've got yourself the beginnings of a conversation.
---------------------------------------------
11. Be unpredictable. Surprise yourself. Surprise your friends. If a challenge presents itself that you would normailly shirk from, approach it head on.
Finally, throw out the rule book. There are no rules! Live your life as you would love to live it and stop letting your fears hold you back. The key to confidence is in your mind. If you follow all of the above rules, your mind will develop confidence by itself.
Start today. I am not fvcking joking. Start today or don't start at all. Once you have read this article I want you to start being a confident man TODAY! If you are reading this as you are about to go to sleep then go to sleep later! Get into some affirmations or start looking for a job, anything!
You may have come to the end of this article and thought "Hey, I already knew a lot of that stuff....bah I'm not even gonna try it... ALL THAT STUFF TAKES TOO LONG AND TOO MUCH EFFORT." Well if that's your attitude I can tell you right now that is sheer laziness. You have to be willing to try! You will start seeing results within a week of starting any of these things. If you do all of these things you will have no trouble at all seeing changes beause people will probably start telling you that you are becoming more confident or positve.
Try them.
Confidence is 50% attitude, 50% experience.
De La Soul
[This message has been edited by De La Soul (edited 10-24-2002).]
