hey guys
There's a woman I've been talking to on and off for a little while that I felt good about, but now have that feeling that things went south pretty quick. I work at a large corporate campus in an east coast city, and started seeing her around campus and we'd smile and say hey as we'd walk past, then I ran into her at a neighborhood bodega, introduced myself, and said see you around. Later in the week, our work softball teams played against each other and we started to chat, and we wound up riding our bikes home together. We did this through the rest of the season, and would carpool sometimes. One day, I got a little more persistent about grabbing a drink, and she politely declined, and later explained (via text) that she was going through a bit of a rough breakup and needed to let me know where she was at for her own conscience. I took the hint, and, while we'd occasionally bike in together on nicer days, the communication seemed to be few and far between.
Fast forward a few months, and I started hanging out with honestly the hottest girl I'd been with, similar situation (see each other at work, ran into each other, etc) but I started to get the sense that the girl was certifiable in the insanity dept. on Christmas Day, I was sending out some merry Christmas texts and decided to send one to the first girl. She responded, and obviously scrolled through my Instagram, and when I returned from visiting family, I got an email from her asking if I wanted to go to the out door ice rink in the city. I, not fully committed to calling it off with the other girl, declined, but did accept her offer to get a drink. When we met up we hardly drank and wound up having a really good time, so the next week I said we should go skating, which we did. Again, it was fun, but she was leaving the country the next day, also her bday, and still had freelance work to finish so we called it a night. In the morning at work, I brought her a piece of a cake I had made earlier in the week as a birthday gift, which she greatly appreciated.
Since she got back, we went to dinner one night about a month ago, and then she met me out for drinks on my birthday 2 weeks ago and brought me a trinket she had gotten from the country she visited. She turned me down once for a second dinner date somewhere else in the last month with a bit of an oddly worded excuse. We were discussing grabbing drinks last weekend, and she and her friends wound up at the bar a friend and I were about to go to. It was a frigid night but, as I hadn't seen this friend in a while, we decided to make the 20 minute walk to the bar. To catch up. Along the way I missed a few texts including "when are you getting here" and "we are getting ready to leave". Luckily I managed to see her on the way out, but her friend (who also works on our campus) seemed none-to-pleased. She hung for a few minutes after her friends left while her uber came, but she didn't seem to want to cancel on a fear of being charged. That was a clear sign to me that she was disappointed. I texted her the next day saying essentially that it was a **** move on my part and that Next time the drinks were on me. The conversation didn't seem to slow down then, but shortly thereafter, boom, she started taking longer to respond, and gave a vague response of "but I'd be down for drinks next week" when I asked if she wanted to meet up this past weekend.
The justification my brain uses to save my feelings is that she is very busy. She is a photographer for a branch of the company that has started to answer to another part, and they spent the better part of the week on location in the area. She has a stressful job being on a small team being asked to do more, and she is admittedly a little high strung. That said, I know from past experience that some will move mountains to make plans. She came out for drinks and pushed back plans she had with others when she heard it was my bday, and she's made time in the past, but I don't get the feeling that she is making that effort now. She also pulled the "hey I saw your text but was really busy, and now I lost my phone (last part is entirely possible. She is the least smartphone-reliant person I have ever met.), but...(response to question)" via email.
This is that critical point where I have a tough time admitting that I should shelf it and move on. Do you guys agree that that may be the best move here?
TL;DR girl reached out to get drinks, did, we t on more dates, we were having a good time, I kind of flaked, interest is now waining
There's a woman I've been talking to on and off for a little while that I felt good about, but now have that feeling that things went south pretty quick. I work at a large corporate campus in an east coast city, and started seeing her around campus and we'd smile and say hey as we'd walk past, then I ran into her at a neighborhood bodega, introduced myself, and said see you around. Later in the week, our work softball teams played against each other and we started to chat, and we wound up riding our bikes home together. We did this through the rest of the season, and would carpool sometimes. One day, I got a little more persistent about grabbing a drink, and she politely declined, and later explained (via text) that she was going through a bit of a rough breakup and needed to let me know where she was at for her own conscience. I took the hint, and, while we'd occasionally bike in together on nicer days, the communication seemed to be few and far between.
Fast forward a few months, and I started hanging out with honestly the hottest girl I'd been with, similar situation (see each other at work, ran into each other, etc) but I started to get the sense that the girl was certifiable in the insanity dept. on Christmas Day, I was sending out some merry Christmas texts and decided to send one to the first girl. She responded, and obviously scrolled through my Instagram, and when I returned from visiting family, I got an email from her asking if I wanted to go to the out door ice rink in the city. I, not fully committed to calling it off with the other girl, declined, but did accept her offer to get a drink. When we met up we hardly drank and wound up having a really good time, so the next week I said we should go skating, which we did. Again, it was fun, but she was leaving the country the next day, also her bday, and still had freelance work to finish so we called it a night. In the morning at work, I brought her a piece of a cake I had made earlier in the week as a birthday gift, which she greatly appreciated.
Since she got back, we went to dinner one night about a month ago, and then she met me out for drinks on my birthday 2 weeks ago and brought me a trinket she had gotten from the country she visited. She turned me down once for a second dinner date somewhere else in the last month with a bit of an oddly worded excuse. We were discussing grabbing drinks last weekend, and she and her friends wound up at the bar a friend and I were about to go to. It was a frigid night but, as I hadn't seen this friend in a while, we decided to make the 20 minute walk to the bar. To catch up. Along the way I missed a few texts including "when are you getting here" and "we are getting ready to leave". Luckily I managed to see her on the way out, but her friend (who also works on our campus) seemed none-to-pleased. She hung for a few minutes after her friends left while her uber came, but she didn't seem to want to cancel on a fear of being charged. That was a clear sign to me that she was disappointed. I texted her the next day saying essentially that it was a **** move on my part and that Next time the drinks were on me. The conversation didn't seem to slow down then, but shortly thereafter, boom, she started taking longer to respond, and gave a vague response of "but I'd be down for drinks next week" when I asked if she wanted to meet up this past weekend.
The justification my brain uses to save my feelings is that she is very busy. She is a photographer for a branch of the company that has started to answer to another part, and they spent the better part of the week on location in the area. She has a stressful job being on a small team being asked to do more, and she is admittedly a little high strung. That said, I know from past experience that some will move mountains to make plans. She came out for drinks and pushed back plans she had with others when she heard it was my bday, and she's made time in the past, but I don't get the feeling that she is making that effort now. She also pulled the "hey I saw your text but was really busy, and now I lost my phone (last part is entirely possible. She is the least smartphone-reliant person I have ever met.), but...(response to question)" via email.
This is that critical point where I have a tough time admitting that I should shelf it and move on. Do you guys agree that that may be the best move here?
TL;DR girl reached out to get drinks, did, we t on more dates, we were having a good time, I kind of flaked, interest is now waining
