time sensitive: the confused ex, please help

[NewMan]

that was one of the reasons i kept things going. he made genuine efforts to fix what i would get p!ssed about. as in the sh!t that would upset me, just one fight about it, and poof! disappeared. i recognized and appreciated that about him. ya know?

**************8

There a big difference between getting caught and getting away with sh#t.

I know, I've done it.

I've meet and been in relationship with girls I'm into - hotties - but have totally fvcked it up because I've been chasing other women - and doing stupid sh#t. Arguments. Fvcking up.

Yeah, I knew it was wrong - but I figured I can work it out. That if I didn't get caught, no big deal - and if I did, then I'd go over to her place, cal her, talk and I'd be back in like flynn.

Yeah it works - but these relationships never last. A resentment builds up slowly. Plus she will never trust you like she did originally.

I remember this one time - I was dating a georgeous girl (how I got her I never know) - and she stayed over my house this one time. I was living in a studio appartment at the time - and had been seeing another girl on the side (who really wasn't hot at all - but the sex was great). Anyways, the girl on the side would call sometimes early in the morning on her way to work - so, when my girl stayed over - I would unplugg the phone from the jack - I would actually reach over when pretending to goto bed anbd slyly take the phone out.

Stupid.

She knew what I was doing all along - and when she finally confronted me - I told a complete lie about how I needed to unplug it with I want my PC to hook up to the internet.


Anyway - point is, guys will do stupid things - even if they are with a girl they are REALLY into.

Sometimes you've just got to walk away and let them grow up a little.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by iqqi
you know what, it is easy for you to say that. both of you. but this is not the same sh!t. i have never had someone that i was so close to, stay so persistent, but be full of sh!t about it!

we all go through drama in relationships. we all have ups and downs. this post isn't me saying i am tired of always getting sh!t in relationships. or that i am disillusioned with the men i meet. or that i am tired of drama and ups and downs. we all are! i know i am not exclusive in getting sh!t i don't deserve.

this post is specific. if you read what i wrote, and can't relate, then don't post. i know i am not retarded for being newly upset about this. this is not a usual issue!

i know i have the right to be mad, and i know why and all of that. you don't have to question my intelligence like that.

i don't have experience or patience or CLARITY in dealing with the fact that he is persistently trying to keep his foot shoved in the door. don't sit here and tell me it is simple, and i am always b!tching about it. because this is a new situation for me, that is why i am seeking PERSPECTIVE.

you can sit here and very easily type in that i should know better. but what are you telling me? that i should objectify men? not trust them anymore? isn't that what YOU all b!tch about? how women don't really care about men or their feelings? how they are all cold hearted shallow b!tches. please. this sh!t is almost funny!

PRL, this guy went wayyy out of his way to get the door of opportunity even cracked with me, so don't patronize me like i just cam eeasy to him. he proved alot to me to get where he did. that is HOW we became so close.

why should i have to explain this sh!T? you all know what it is like to trust someone then get burned! stop acting like i am retarded.

i am confused and unclear (for many good reasons) on how to deal with him not letting go. who couldn't relate? this is confusing for me. i wish i didn't have to be in this position, and it just makes it harder and more confusing that we were friends, and he keeps acting like he didn't do anything wrong. and that i shouldn't be so upset!

someone tell me something that might help!

Okay I guess I'm just an A-hole for being harsh with my last response. Like your response to Squirrels it was an attempt to give you a slap full of sense.

Iqqi I'm not trying to be mean or hurtful or question your intelligence. Just hoping that you will wise up. I've followed many of your threads in the past and notice a lot of drama. You may think this is normal but I do not. I no longer get involved in drama filled relationships because they are a pain and very draining. You really know you've found someone special when there isn't any drama. Its just simple. That's the way it should be.

I will repeat once again. There is better for you out there.

Good luck Iqqi. I hope you figure things out.

 

[playa]

Get rid of this guy and learn to respect yourself in the future by not putting out so fast.

 

[TesuqueRed]

You're reading too much into the signals --

Just got back from the bars, so I won't pretend to be coherent here...

He's not ready to settle or be real just yet.

He's got the skills to do so, which is what suckered you in. But this isn't the time. He knows enough to use those skills to get what he needs, which is female companionship -- you, or someone else -- doesn't matter, he's a male attention wh0re and needs a woman beside him. And he knows to keep them in rotation the way many women who know they haven't met "the One" keep guys in rotation.

It's a useful skill. Wish I had it way back when.

He's a don, or part of one. Imagine the lucky girl when he decides to be real-- problem is, he'll have the game down so cold that he won't trust himself when he meets her.

Take your notes and next 'im.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed

He's a don, or part of one. Imagine the lucky girl when he decides to be real-- problem is, he'll have the game down so cold that he won't trust himself when he meets her.

actually he is a fool.

one thing i have learned on this site is that it is just as hard to find a good girl as it is to find a good guy.

also once a cheat, always a cheat. he has a history of treating his girlfriends this way, then emotionally falling apart whenever something happens to him from the same girls he abused.

the last girlfriend he had? girlfriend, a hot talented girl, not a fcukbuddy. he spent the whole time they were together staring at me, trying to talk to me, he even messed up her night a few times, with his obsession with me. then, once she did something to him (i think she ended up cheating on him), he had to go to church to help him get through it!!!

i always had a hard time putting those two things together. it is making a lot more sense now.

he is far from a DJ. he is far from a man, in my eyes. he is second rank and tacky. in many ways, not just how he treats the girls he supposedly cares about. i agree that he isn't ready for commitment (and so would he), but the way he handles things and the way he cries murder when results stem from his actions, should let you know this a boy we are dealing with, not a DJ, and not a man.

i am still upset, i still miss him, and this is very hard for me. it is hard to realize someone special to you might not be good in your life. and to let go of the fact that it isn't your problem.

very hard.

 

[mango]

Iqqi...and you had the nerve to respond to my post that I was bull****ting? Oh give me a break! What a hypocrite you are!

 

[TooColdUlrick]

just when i thought you were getting it, you turn around and pull this cr@p! who is this one you're talking about, circus-boy or rapper dude? in any event, it doesn't matter...

...OMG!!!

Originally posted by iqqi
actually he is a fool.

one thing i have learned on this site is that it is just as hard to find a good girl as it is to find a good guy.

also once a cheat, always a cheat. he has a history of treating his girlfriends this way, then emotionally falling apart whenever something happens to him from the same girls he abused.

the last girlfriend he had? girlfriend, a hot talented girl, not a fcukbuddy. he spent the whole time they were together staring at me, trying to talk to me, he even messed up her night a few times, with his obsession with me. then, once she did something to him (i think she ended up cheating on him), he had to go to church to help him get through it!!!

i always had a hard time putting those two things together. it is making a lot more sense now.

he is far from a DJ. he is far from a man, in my eyes. he is second rank and tacky. in many ways, not just how he treats the girls he supposedly cares about. i agree that he isn't ready for commitment (and so would he), but the way he handles things and the way he cries murder when results stem from his actions, should let you know this a boy we are dealing with, not a DJ, and not a man.

i am still upset, i still miss him, and this is very hard for me. it is hard to realize someone special to you might not be good in your life. and to let go of the fact that it isn't your problem.

very hard.

so this person is a fool, he's second rate and tacky, he has a history of treating girlfriends this way, once a cheat always a cheat, he's 'abused' girls in the past, he's a boy....blah, blah, blah...

and this TFL (total fvcking loser) had such a special place in your heart and you miss him? holy sh!t, you are twisted.

you went into this, knowing this about him, huh? sure you did, don't lie to yourself. you didn't just all of a sudden discover this about him. if you did, you are an idiot.

the worst thing is that you're all broken up about losing such a TFL. this is unbelievable AFC sh!t to the nth degree. and it's sh!t that you've grilled GUYS on! face it, you've got rock bottom self esteem.

you've just said something about yourself with this last post. i take it that you're an abuse magnet? you basically just said so.

NO! it is NOT hard for a woman to find a "good guy". if you're decent looking, you can get 50 fvcking phone numbers in one night and select the best of the bunch. BUT, it is especially difficult, if not impossible, to find a good guy when YOU SEEK OUT TOTAL LOSERS AND HAVE SEX WITH THEM!!!

"...oh, but no, this is different...i waited until i was sure...we had a genuine connection..." paraphrasing your utter BS previously. besides, you felt this way about a total loser? hmmmm.....

girl, you need to step back and take a hard look at yourself. you're digging at the bottom of the dumpster and you're wondering why you've got sludge caked all over your boots?

you need someone to slap some sense into you. you don't get it. WAKE UP!!!

jesus, i was insensed by this latest revelation, if you didn't notice.

i think mango was too. i don't think she realized that you were a woman when you tore up HER post about her email to that dude she dumped and wanted to apologize to. you've got NO PLACE TO TALK! PERIOD!

to remind you, here it is,

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=49819&perpage=20&pagenumber=2

sorry folks, but this burned me up. it's very instructive, though, because iqqi is the type of chick we all want to avoid!!! i mean what kind of guy wants a chick who wants (demands) a TFL. a loser, thats who!

physician heal thyself.