Copied from my blog, A Dark Heart
It may strike a number of guys that learning game, getting girls, and constantly putting yourself out there is large time sink which, some would posture, could be better spent elsewhere. But this is a foregone conclusion. There are 3 aspects to any use of time which need to be addressed.
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First, what is the ultimate goal and is it a priority?
When you decide to pursue anything, you must ask yourself why you want it, what you’re willing to sacrifice, and how high it ranks. With only so much available time, everything is a compromise. Take fitness for instance. If you want nice arms, a six pack, and an overall lean, muscular physique, you have to do the right things, consistently, long enough. If any of these components are missing, you will fail. Where people go astray by the 2nd week of January is their lack of conviction and purpose. They just want to look better, but have no final destination in mind, no time frame for its accomplishment, and no real reason why.
Just like fitness, wealth, and anything else in life, internalizing game and becoming more proficient with women requires you to do the right things, consistently, long enough. For many who turn to help, this means a total personality shift, which takes years of deliberate effort. It’s ok, the process can and should be fun. But in order to build and maintain consistency, there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel. What do you hope to accomplish? When? Why? Without these answers, there’s no reason to begin.
If you want to start a family and marry a woman who won’t bounce at the first sign of trouble or boff your neighbor, fine. If you want to restore order to a rocky relationship, fine. If you want to lay 10, 100, 1000 girls, fine. There’s no right or wrong, but there has to be an endgame.
Part B is priority. How important is it? If you’re waking up every day miserable because you can’t get a date, I’d say it’s fairly important and you’ll want to set aside a certain amount of time per week to self-improvement in the crimson arts. That is, if you want to avoid becoming the next James Holmes. On the other hand, if you’re already sexually and emotionally satiated and just want a little extra kick, research in passing.
Second, what are you giving up by pursuing this?
Read carefully. ‘It’s a waste of time, I could be doing ___ instead’. Then refer to #1, because it’s probably not important enough. But before doing so, consider what other areas of your life are a waste of time. Television? Check. Video games? Check. These are both colossal time sinks with no real benefit. No, WoW doesn’t make you socially adept or grant you managerial powers. While studies vary, the average person will spend anywhere from 20-40 hours per week glued to the flat panel. That’s approximately a decade over the course of a lifetime, not to mention a full time job. And what do you get out of it? Has it made you a better person? Have you developed socially, physically, spiritually, or financially as a result? No. Same goes for video games. Sure it’s great to unwind and take some frustration out on your first person shooter of choice, but you’ll get a superior chemical high and added long term benefits from hitting the weights instead.
That’s not to say you should switch off the cable and toss the Xbox right away, but consider the implications of making someone else rich by spending time you’ll never get back on these activities. Ask yourself: would I rather be getting laid right now or watching another reality show to forget about my day and not think of tomorrow? Stop escaping and face your problems lest you find yourself 20 years later the same person with the same issues in a crumbling body.
Third, is it balanced with other areas of your life?
Too much of anything is bad, though the argument can be made that there’s no such thing as too much sex. Whatever your goal, it needs to be balanced with the other areas of your life. We’ve all met men chasing the almighty dollar only to age well before their time, lose most of it to a woman they didn’t screen properly in divorce court, and now they’re fat, bald, bitter, and assume that flashing a fancy car will make girls line up for their chance. What a rude awakening to realize you’ve been sold a lie. There’s nothing wrong with aspiring to financial independence, but for true maturity and happiness to occur it must be counterbalanced with physical health, social development, and emotional growth. All the money in the world won’t keep your trophy wife from cheating with her hot personal trainer.
—
One of the biggest pitfalls is looking at game as a quick fix to larger inadequacies. You do some approaches, run some lines, get a date, and get laid. Now the world is all sunshine but you’ve learned nothing. You haven’t changed as a person. You short circuited both your own and your target’s brain, but it will come back full circle and you’ll be left right where you started.
There is no shortcut. A major personality shift is hard work. You will break hearts and have yours broken. You will see the ugly truths, feel a little jaded, maybe even mad – mad at yourself, women, the world – for duping you. But through it all you will find the light. Give it your time and effort and you will find yourself and be happier than you ever thought possible. Figure out 1-3 above and get to it. The rest is up to you.
It may strike a number of guys that learning game, getting girls, and constantly putting yourself out there is large time sink which, some would posture, could be better spent elsewhere. But this is a foregone conclusion. There are 3 aspects to any use of time which need to be addressed.
—
First, what is the ultimate goal and is it a priority?
When you decide to pursue anything, you must ask yourself why you want it, what you’re willing to sacrifice, and how high it ranks. With only so much available time, everything is a compromise. Take fitness for instance. If you want nice arms, a six pack, and an overall lean, muscular physique, you have to do the right things, consistently, long enough. If any of these components are missing, you will fail. Where people go astray by the 2nd week of January is their lack of conviction and purpose. They just want to look better, but have no final destination in mind, no time frame for its accomplishment, and no real reason why.
Just like fitness, wealth, and anything else in life, internalizing game and becoming more proficient with women requires you to do the right things, consistently, long enough. For many who turn to help, this means a total personality shift, which takes years of deliberate effort. It’s ok, the process can and should be fun. But in order to build and maintain consistency, there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel. What do you hope to accomplish? When? Why? Without these answers, there’s no reason to begin.
If you want to start a family and marry a woman who won’t bounce at the first sign of trouble or boff your neighbor, fine. If you want to restore order to a rocky relationship, fine. If you want to lay 10, 100, 1000 girls, fine. There’s no right or wrong, but there has to be an endgame.
Part B is priority. How important is it? If you’re waking up every day miserable because you can’t get a date, I’d say it’s fairly important and you’ll want to set aside a certain amount of time per week to self-improvement in the crimson arts. That is, if you want to avoid becoming the next James Holmes. On the other hand, if you’re already sexually and emotionally satiated and just want a little extra kick, research in passing.
Second, what are you giving up by pursuing this?
Read carefully. ‘It’s a waste of time, I could be doing ___ instead’. Then refer to #1, because it’s probably not important enough. But before doing so, consider what other areas of your life are a waste of time. Television? Check. Video games? Check. These are both colossal time sinks with no real benefit. No, WoW doesn’t make you socially adept or grant you managerial powers. While studies vary, the average person will spend anywhere from 20-40 hours per week glued to the flat panel. That’s approximately a decade over the course of a lifetime, not to mention a full time job. And what do you get out of it? Has it made you a better person? Have you developed socially, physically, spiritually, or financially as a result? No. Same goes for video games. Sure it’s great to unwind and take some frustration out on your first person shooter of choice, but you’ll get a superior chemical high and added long term benefits from hitting the weights instead.
That’s not to say you should switch off the cable and toss the Xbox right away, but consider the implications of making someone else rich by spending time you’ll never get back on these activities. Ask yourself: would I rather be getting laid right now or watching another reality show to forget about my day and not think of tomorrow? Stop escaping and face your problems lest you find yourself 20 years later the same person with the same issues in a crumbling body.
Third, is it balanced with other areas of your life?
Too much of anything is bad, though the argument can be made that there’s no such thing as too much sex. Whatever your goal, it needs to be balanced with the other areas of your life. We’ve all met men chasing the almighty dollar only to age well before their time, lose most of it to a woman they didn’t screen properly in divorce court, and now they’re fat, bald, bitter, and assume that flashing a fancy car will make girls line up for their chance. What a rude awakening to realize you’ve been sold a lie. There’s nothing wrong with aspiring to financial independence, but for true maturity and happiness to occur it must be counterbalanced with physical health, social development, and emotional growth. All the money in the world won’t keep your trophy wife from cheating with her hot personal trainer.
—
One of the biggest pitfalls is looking at game as a quick fix to larger inadequacies. You do some approaches, run some lines, get a date, and get laid. Now the world is all sunshine but you’ve learned nothing. You haven’t changed as a person. You short circuited both your own and your target’s brain, but it will come back full circle and you’ll be left right where you started.
There is no shortcut. A major personality shift is hard work. You will break hearts and have yours broken. You will see the ugly truths, feel a little jaded, maybe even mad – mad at yourself, women, the world – for duping you. But through it all you will find the light. Give it your time and effort and you will find yourself and be happier than you ever thought possible. Figure out 1-3 above and get to it. The rest is up to you.
