Tihash's Daytime Approach Journal

[tihash]

Approach #87

I include this only because of the lesson learned.

See a cute girl at WM. In the food section. She has like 6 gallons of water in her cart.

Me: (with a smile for once!)-- Hey, what's with all the water? Is there a hurricane coming or something?

Her: (smiling)

Me: Do you know something I don't know? (smiling still)

Her: (smiling) No... (in a nice way as she WALKS OFF)


Lesson:

Stick to the fricking script! I have a pre-planned grocery opener about a healthy yet yummy dessert for a housewarming party that is open-ended and is usually a conversation starter as it has been field tested. But did I use it? Noooooooooooooo. I thought I was being clever with the made up on the spot situational opener. And you know what? It SUCKED! It was a yes/no question that was more of a drive-by COMMENT than a question and that did not require her to actually answer.

 

[tihash]

Approach #88

I include this only because of the positive reinforcement it instills.

At B&N, see what I thought was a HB. She is in the mystery aisle.

Me: Do you read a lot of mystery?
#88: (BIG smile and turning her whole body towards me and locking eyes) Oh, yes I do!
Me: Do you have any recomm... (she cuts me off bc of her enthusiasm)
#88: Yes, blah blah blah blah and blah and furthermore, blah blah blah

She was older than i had thought (mid 30's) and appeared slightly pregnant! So, I thank her and began inching away while pretending to browse...

Then...

Her: (big smile) Have a great day!


Point is this: You NEVER know who will just open right up to you and be the most friendly girl on earth and all you have to do is say ONE SENTENCE to her to open her up. Most girls are NOT like this, obviously. But some are. It is ALWAYS better to say SOMETHING than nothing.

 

[tihash]

Approach #89

Same B&N today. See a pretty girl, nice booty, setting up her laptop in the cafe. She is 28 to 33, somewhere in there age-wise. She leaves to get in line to get a coffee or whatever.

I grab a book and set up shop at the table next to her. The table next to her is HUGE, and meant to accomodate like a study group of 8 or something. I don't care and take it for me because logistics dictates it.

She comes back and sits down. I wait a couple of minutes (too long!) and then open her on whether they have Wifi there. Keep the convo going, tell a couple of stories, she is all smiles and asks me what I do, blah, blah. She is moving to another part of the state in two weeks. She is there to do work, and starts looking at her laptop while I'm talking. Rude. So I close and ask her to join me for a drink before she leaves town. She literally sits there, with a smile, thinking about it for 4-5 seconds then says she doesn't date people she doesn't already know. What stupid chick logic. NEXT!!

Lessons: I could have talked LOUDER and should have. Need to work on that for next time. Also, try to launch into a story as soon as I can because that makes the convo flow easier.

 

[stayfly]

I admire your efforts my friend.

From what I've read so far I think you need a slightly improved system.

You also seem to be looking for reasons to eject rather than engage. stop that asap.

What's your current system? Please let me know and I'll help you improve it.

If you don't currently have a system, try this one;

1. approach and open
2. make her laugh
3. ask question and tell story
4. repeat steps 2 and 3 until you are getting IOIs
5. number close

also, force youself to stay in set longer and increase over time up to 5 minutes or more

 

[tihash]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I really don't have a system because the locations where I approach, and the situations, are so varied. But I can see how a system would help out a lot.

I just usually open with a question, and then try to transition into personal stuff instead of the situational opener. Every once in a blue moon I go full out direct.

What do you recommend for the following common (for me at least) situations:

a. girl in WalMart/Target
b. girl in clothing store
c. girl in bookstore
d. girl in cafe

 

[tihash]

Approach #90

This is at WalMart. i see a really pretty girl, and she is in frozen foods. I open with a question about what to bring as dessert to a housewarming party. She gives a short and polite answer then scurries off.

At first, I think: "Dammit! This is why I should just go direct at all times!"

Then, I see her later in the store with her husband/bf and little kid!

So, I truly see the value of direct on the street, in a food court at the mall, and when you are walking out of somewhere. But I am still not on board with full-tilt direct in the frozen food aisle at the supermarket or in the picture frame aisle at Marshall's.

Thoughts?

 

[tihash]

Approach #91

Same WalMart today.

See a young hottie looking at jewelry. Open her with whether i should buy jewelry or clothes for my friend's bday. She has a polite convo with me for 2 minutes, I ask her what she is up to today, she says she is shopping with her mom. I say, "You're really cute, what's your name?" She says it, then shakes my hand. She is starting to walk off. I say, "Would you like to join me for a drink sometime?" "Sorry, I can't."

I think I should transition to direct while the convo is still very much alive rather than at the end when the girl is already starting to leave...

 

[stayfly]

I really don't have a system because the locations where I approach, and the situations, are so varied. But I can see how a system would help out a lot.

I just usually open with a question, and then try to transition into personal stuff instead of the situational opener. Every once in a blue moon I go full out direct.

What do you recommend for the following common (for me at least) situations:

a. girl in WalMart/Target
b. girl in clothing store
c. girl in bookstore
d. girl in cafe

for all those scenarios, open with ANYTHING e.g. I like ur glasses or that book was ok but the ending sucked or whatever

then make her laugh

then ask a question or make a statement

then make her laugh

then repeat that until she's into you and number close her

or make ur own system

you MUST create some attraction in the first few minutes or your wasting your time

once ur system is improved, you should be number closing consistently

good luck

 

[tihash]

Approach #92

This is at Burlington Coat Factory. A cute girl is looking at belts. I open her on whether jewelry or clothes make a cooler bday gift. A mildly forced convo for a few minutes. A keep it up then close, and she says she is only 20. Next!

 

[tihash]

Approach #93

At Kohl's yesterday. See a somewhat strange looking girl texting in the bath decor section. Open her on housewarming gift. Another mildly strained convo. Close for the heck of it, she has a bf.

 

[tihash]

Approach #94

At SuperWalmart today. Pretty girl is at the Redbox. I get behind her and start looking over her shoulder kinda, then she finally notices me. I say to take your time, I'll browse with you. We talk movies for a few minutes, I ask her who's bday it is (wrapping paper in her bag), blah blah. It seems to be going somewhat well. She even stumbles with her credit card and seemed a bit nervous maybe.

Then I F IT ALL UP.

I am so FRICKIN' IN MY HEAD that I can't decide whether to close, whether to try to get her to stay while I browse, what to say because of the lull from me thinking too much, all this crap like a big run-on sentence in my head until...

Until...

She takes her movie, smiles, says BYE, and walks off.

Damn.

I'm stupid sometimes. This is one of those times.

I keep thinking that I need more rapport, more this, more that in order to close. F all that.

If the girl is going to leave, I need to close!

Next time: "Hey, before you run off, we should get together for coffee sometime. You seem nice"

 

[stayfly]

^^^^^

good work bro. decide in advance to try and close every interaction that goes more than 2 or 3 minutes to take any uncertainty out.

 

[tihash]

Approach #95

This is at Ross yesterday. Very slim pickings at 5:15pm on a Friday.

What I thought was an okish girl looking at the crap in the back. She looked better after I opened her and saw her up close... pretty face and big boobs. Her dress just wasn't all that flattering.

Anyhow, opened her on a housewarming gift. Talk about that for a min or so, and she mentions she is just decorating her house too.

A problem i have had is transitioning away from the opener. I was happy that I seized upon that, and asked if she just got a new place, turns out she moved 3 months ago from Texas, blah blah. Total transformation to personal talk.

I time contrainted and closed, but she is seeing someone. No problem, because I am getting the structure down a little better. NExt!

 

[tihash]

Approach #96

My pimp hand is weak. I had a great late March and April 2010 with 4 new lays and 1 new BJ. But May and June have sucked.

I am at Homegoods yesterday and see an older (what I thought to be mid to late 30's) women with a great @ss and nice body and decent enough face. She is holding a pillow up to a painting. I roll right up and give me opinion on it like it is normal. And it was.

We get to talking, have a nice 20 min convo right in the aisle. She is very easy to talk to. I invite her to coffee and go for the #, and she objects based on my age. As you know, usually I have girls thinking I am too old. This one thought i was too young. So I say, "It's not like I'm asking you to marry me-- it's only coffee."

She is clearly uncertain as to what to do. She is flattered and seemingly attracted, but she thinks she is too old. Maybe she is early 40s. I'd hit that sh!t. She had a nice bod.

I give her my card, and say, "Well, my email is on here. Email me sometime if you want."

She then gives me her business card as well. It has her cell on it. Girls are so dumb.

 

[tihash]

Approach #97

This is at Ross. See a girl in her gym attire in the back where the home goods are. Ask an opinion about a housewarming gift. Turns out she goes to my alma mater. She is a sophomore, so prob. (in her mind) a little too young. I get the number, and text the next day with no response. Next.

 

[tihash]

Approach #98

This is at Target yesterday. I see a hot girl in the picture frame aisle. I open about housewarming gifts. I transition away from the opener and have a nice 5 min convo. She is only 20. I close and get the digits. We shall see...

 

[tihash]

Approach #99

At Wal-Mart today. See a really cute girl in the wine aisle. Open her on her opinion on wines for a gift. We talk for 3-4 min., mostly about wine. She starts to run off after I try to transition to personal (when i began commenting on her unique hat).

Ten minutes later she rolls up on me in the produce section and asks what wine I settled on. She sorta looks in my basket and of course I have no wine in there. I tell her I'm going to check out the wine store she recommended instead. She is all smiles and kinda sassy. I close and tel her we should get together for a drink. She literally has to think about it. Then she sorta whispers, with a big smile, "Who gets picked up in Wal-Mart?" We talk for another minute then she declines to give me the digits. Her loss. Girls are dumb.

 

[tihash]

Approach #100

This is at B&N today. See a nice looking chick, wait a wee bit too long to open (rusty from not approaching much in the last week), then ask, "What are you looking for?"

Note: "What are you looking for?" is SO much better than "Find anything interesting?" in the bookstore b/c it is open-ended. i still screw up sometimes.

She is in the business section, we have some common things to talk about, I visibly saw the "hook point," her IL seems high, all is well except she is 31 (no prob) and has a 15 y/o daughter! lol. Not LTR material, but I'd hit it. Let's hope she is not a flake. She readily gave me her number, volunteered it was "nice meeting you," and she left me with a "I hope to hear from you!" lol

 

[tihash]

Approach #101

This is at B&N. I am glad for #100, because were it not for her, I would have left before #101 came in.

She is very, very pretty. College grad, taking the MCAT to go to med school. Not as solid a convo as #100, but solid enough I think. She stays and doesn't try to run off, talks to me for 20 min until I end it, easily gives up the number.

Interesting, is she had what I would call a "fashion ring" on her left hand ring finger. I did not see it until after I approached. My usual policy is to not approach if there is a ring on the left hand ring finger. But now after this girl my policy is to approach so long as it is not a band or a clear engagement ring or bridal set.

I threw lots of stories at her. We will see if she is a flake or not...

 

[Hullothere]

tihash, whats your ratio of approaches to actual dates?

Do you feel less anxiety now that you have completed so many approaches, or are you nervous just as you were on your first approach?

Are you seeing your # and date ratio increasing as you do more and more approaches?