Thoughts on my situation...

[HankHill]

I appreciate the responses, believe me I do. I'm just letting my thoughts out in writing, so don't take them as if I'm not listening. All this is very helpful in keeping me honest. I also haven't responded to her text and I don't plan to either but help me with some more nagging thoughts:

- She swears up and down she hasn't slept with him (or anyone else) since the very first time we broke up and they got together - and that both her and him agreed afterwards they're better as friends than partners (though I don't believe he meant it). Why would a grown ahhsss woman flat out lie like that? What does she gain from it?
- Other than her last bday when we were together where I did pay for a night of stay at an Air BnB place and dinner I haven't spent a dime on her in 3+ yrs
- She practically begged me to go counseling with her because she wants to be with me. She completed a week long (2hrs every day after work) relationship class that the counselor suggested. She even kept going after I stopped.
- She still comes over when I ask her to
- She's trying to reach out to me now with her text even though I didn't respond to her previous text a couple of weeks ago
- She keeps in touch with my kid, asking how school is going etc
- She's a good looking woman even in her 40s, she can get male dildos without trying so why me?

All that seems like a lot of work to put into someone/something you're not really interested in...so why does she keep trying?

 

[Billtx49]

- She swears up and down she hasn't slept with him (or anyone else) since the very first time we broke up and they got together

You have to stop this line of thinking, you’re starting to make me laugh my ass off…

 

[HankHill]

OP here. Well, I never responded to her last text that I posted about. Today she sent another text with a picture of a patriotic heart that said happy 4th and she wrote 'Sorry, just having a weak moment...'
So I don't plan to respond again but the question still keeps bugging me 'why she keeps trying if she has so little interest'.

On a positive note, I had a date last night and it went really well. I liked the woman, she and I have a similar background. I have another date on Sat, the woman is slightly older than me but looks 10yrs younger than most 40yos. Then I have one more date the following weekend with a chick that's currently traveling in Europe and wants to get together when she returns.

Again though, while the dates have a healing effect, but it's temp. I deliberately have to shun the thoughts/history with the ex-gf as my mind keeps wanting to take me there...and the amazing sex. Damn.

 

[Ranger]

I’m rather new here. Last night I just finished listening to “The Rational Man” on Audible. It was a marathon listening session for me. 14 hours.
All I can say about what you posted man, is that it makes perfect sense what’s she’s doing.
There is no mystery in what she’s doing.
This is Hypergamy based on her survival strategies.
This is so fundamental that it’s scary.

There’s nothing to win here. There’s nothing to fight or lament against. This is no mystery. Except that I know that when you are embroiled in something it’s hard to see. I don’t know a lot of things yet but I know what makes sense or doesn’t make sense.
Just consider this one thing. As women do not have the same types of concepts about love and relationships. In fact not even close. It’s you and not her. She may even think that you do know what’s going on and that you are acting clueless.
She’s doing a good job of sexing you up. Sounds like some good stuff. Do you still not know that it is a tool to fulfill the feminine imperative? That it’s very likely that her feelings during this are not even closely related to yours even in what she’s feeling or thinking?

 

[HankHill]

Hypergamy - huh...I never thought about it that way. I really don't know what it is that she wants from me. Anyway, no contact or news on her since the last update.

My date with the slightly older woman went REALLY well; she's very sophisticated, classy and even hotter looking in person. Comes from a very well off family too. I'm thinking that some of the incredible looks are probably bought (botox, boob job etc) but I like the fact that she keeps herself up so well and yet is also completely a normal (not stuck up) type of a person. Her text on Sat night was "I just got home. Thank you so much!! I had a really nice time with you." I didn't text her yesterday but thinking I'll text her today, mid-day, something witty.

The woman from my first date has also been texting me but I'm drawn more to this 'older' woman now. I plan to meet them both again but my week will be a bit busy, I have a meetup with some friends on Sat. Then Sun may be meet the third girl when she's back from Europe. Then next week will be completely shot. Can I just find one woman for life and be done with all this song and dance

 

[Ranger]

Can I just find one woman for life and be done with all this song and dance

I wouldn’t even pretend to have anything to contribute to this. LMAO

 

[HankHill]

Blow off! Or at least it's what I thought it was. So yesterday during lunch I sent a txt to the 'older' woman who's family owns a chain of restaurants: "Hello, is this [restaurant's] order hotline? I'm in the mood for something that's delicious from the start and amazingly satisfying till the very end...what do you recommend?"

She responds with: "LOL!! <several lmao smilies> How are ya?!"

I told her I just realized it being lunch time she must be very busy so I'd let her get back to work and may be we'll pick this back up later tonight. She says 'it's fine, I'm in the office catching up on work from this weekend but later sounds good '

So then later I text her around 9pm 'Sooo...how was work?' and CRICKETS!! So I'm thinking ok she's probably out on a date or blowing me off...NBD!

This morning I get the distinct ding on my phone and I know it's her. 'Good morning [HankHill]! I had an extremely busy day yesterday and was too tired to return any messages. Just wanted to say hi and happy Tue! '

I'm going to wait till at least lunch time and then respond with 'hey [her name] no explanation is needed, I completely understand. It's just OLD Let me know when you're free to get together again so we can pick up where we left off '

The second, 'younger' girl, didn't text me all day yesterday (usually she would start the communication). I plan to reach out to her today too after work and see if I can at least line up date #2 with either of them.