Thoughts on having money

[CrashOverRide]

I'm the same way. It's just how I was raised. And, I will not befriend anyone who is cheap. Sorry, but it aint happening. I feel exactly the way you do. My point is that if I don't have money, I DON'T feel comfortable. The key word there is I. I'm a man in early thirties. There's no way I'm going on dates if I'm broke. I wouldn't enjoy myself, and it would show, and she would leave.

I absolutely agree. People who are cheap are not people I want close to me.

That being said, it is wasteful to just pay for everything all the time for a girl. On the first date I like to be cordial and pay... but I've had girls offer to pay as well. When they do offer I have no problem letting them do it.

 

[CrashOverRide]

I for one must say there is no such thing as 'security'. Everything in life is a gamble. In my opinion, if a woman wants 'security', she wants a free ride off your a$$. My first date is coffee or meeting at a public place. If we agree on going to a restaurant later on - conversation going great, good rapport - I make it a point we go dutch. If she asked me out to dinner, it is customary that she pay. If I ask, I pay.

I try to get in the first three dates going to venues without having to pay for anything so as to get a feel for her. Is she psyco, selfish, emotionally unstable, has a chip on her shoulder, etc., etc? The last thing you want is to sit at a restaurant knowing within the first 15 minutes that there is no way this person is going to have another date with you and suffer having to talk to this person for a few hours. Not to mention the awkward moment when the bill arrives and she suddenly excuses herself to go to the bathroom. If we both know that there is not going to be a second date, I have stopped a women on their expeditious path to the ladies room and told her in a nice way "by the way, do you want to charge your half of the bill or will you be using cash?" They get the idea.

By the way, this is a pet peeve of mine, if I ever get so much as a whiff that she is texting her friend or fields a call during my time over dinner with her, unless it is an absolute emergency call, and I do mean absolute emergency, I always make it a point to lose her number. Sometimes depending on my mood I may even end the date right then and there.

I once walked out on a girl during a movie because she would not stop texting on her phone. She apologized to me the next day.

 

[5string]

I agree with squirrels above post. A guy should pay for the 1st date.

There are two reasons women are attracted to a guy with money:
1)She's a goldigger and wants her fancy stuff
2)Security, and don't tell me there is no such thing. You can still be a bad boy and be stable. Some women desire this above all else. At my age, I see it first hand all the time. Women love the fact I have a great job, killer home, etc. They tell Mrs.5string this all the fvckin time.

 

[squirrels]

I was out with a girl on Sunday...we went to TGIfriday's and got some food. The bill came to like 25 bucks...I paid it. She said, "thank you", as if she was embarassed that I was paying for everything. I told her not to worry about it, but she had to buy me a sundae at Vaccaro's (fancy italian bakery/gelato-place...chicks love it) sometime. We tried to change venues and head there on the first date but they were closed, so it all ties back together.

That's honestly enough...if she's awkward about you paying, present her with a future opportunity to make it up to you. Next time she comes to hang out at your place, have her bring beer or something.

What you DON'T want to do is make it feel like you're "buying" her company. She will either feel uncomfortable and want to get away from you, or she will milk you for all you're worth and leave you hanging.

 

[Slickster]

I know plenty of guys who try to impress their dates with their financial muscle. No surprise they always seem to attract the gold digger types.

Sure it's nice to show that you are secure but give me the cheap, casual, and fun first date every time. Screw trying to impress her with my money. I want her to impress me! I want to know if she's the type of woman who likes me for me, not my wallet. If you wine and dine her and spend a lot of money are you sure you are seeing the "real" person?

If she finds out down the road that I'm doing well financially then bonus for her.

In the early stages I'm impressing her with my charm, intellect, sense of humor, and personality. All things that money can't buy.

Any a$$hole can have money.

 

[Lateralus]

Ok, I'm not from the US so maybe that's why I'm wondering: what is the definition of being 'cheap'?

 

[Falcon25]

Ok, I'm not from the US so maybe that's why I'm wondering: what is the definition of being 'cheap'?

One who never pays for a drink when you go out with him and rest of your friends. One who never picks up the tab, or even his own tab, and makes everyone else pay for him. One who thinks women should pay on dates, especially the first date, and goes dutch thereafter. One who shows up at the party empty handed, and expects to eat for free because he is a guest. One who doesn't spend money on clothes, grooming, or anything else to make himself look good, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS THE MONEY TO DO SO. One who is repulsive, usually short, and has a complex that money is the most important element in a man's life and will sell his own mother to obtain it. One who hoards money, but refuses to help his friends in times of dire need. One who is shallow, unavailable, and just an all round reptilian mother fuvker. Cold blooded, and is preoccupied with minting money and nothing else. Any other questions?

 

[Falcon25]

I absolutely agree. People who are cheap are not people I want close to me.

That being said, it is wasteful to just pay for everything all the time for a girl. On the first date I like to be cordial and pay... but I've had girls offer to pay as well. When they do offer I have no problem letting them do it.

Yeah Crash, I NEVER keep friends around that are cheap. I'm glad to see someone who has their senses together. It is repulsive behavior among men. I don't like picking up the tab on someone else, especially when they make more money than I do. I refuse to even converse with them.

 

[Lateralus]

One who never pays for a drink when you go out with him and rest of your friends. One who never picks up the tab, or even his own tab, and makes everyone else pay for him. One who thinks women should pay on dates, especially the first date, and goes dutch thereafter. One who shows up at the party empty handed, and expects to eat for free because he is a guest. One who doesn't spend money on clothes, grooming, or anything else to make himself look good, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS THE MONEY TO DO SO. One who is repulsive, usually short, and has a complex that money is the most important element in a man's life and will sell his own mother to obtain it. One who hoards money, but refuses to help his friends in times of dire need. One who is shallow, unavailable, and just an all round reptilian mother fuvker. Cold blooded, and is preoccupied with minting money and nothing else. Any other questions?

Haha. Those people... no, of course not. Who would like them as company? There are eating from your wallet. I have never seen any connection with height, though. I have one friend who is kind of slow in buying drinks when we go out. I'm still figuring out if it is pure cheapness or he just forgets we are giving rounds. But when it's his turn and we have to wait 20+ minutes and there is still no action I just say: 'Hey, I want a beer!'

But being cheap in this case... You just have to find a balance I think. Spending a fortune to impress some girl isn't good, but being a broke cheap ass either.

 

[Slickster]

One who is repulsive, usually short....

Holy sh!t this made me laugh out loud!

I'm pretty sure looks and height don't factor into being cheap but funny nonetheless.

 

[backbreaker]

I know plenty of guys who try to impress their dates with their financial muscle. No surprise they always seem to attract the gold digger types.

Sure it's nice to show that you are secure but give me the cheap, casual, and fun first date every time. Screw trying to impress her with my money. I want her to impress me! I want to know if she's the type of woman who likes me for me, not my wallet. If you wine and dine her and spend a lot of money are you sure you are seeing the "real" person?

If she finds out down the road that I'm doing well financially then bonus for her.

In the early stages I'm impressing her with my charm, intellect, sense of humor, and personality. All things that money can't buy.

Any a$$hole can have money.

I don't understand why everyone thinks if you spring for something nice, that youa re trying to impress a woman.


Why would I take a woman on a date, that I would not do if i were by myself? lol I take my son to basket robins lol, why am I going to take a grown ass woman to baskit robbins? It has nothing to do with money, that' sjust not, **** I do in my every day life. Being cheap for the sake of being cheap, is just as stupid of spending money to impress a woman imho.
The rule of thumb I have adeapted on this, is I have things I like to do. some cost money, some don't. We are going to do what I want to do, and ifv ti costs some money, it just is going to cost some money, if it doesn't, it doesn't, but more than anything, i need to make sure that we are compatible, and for me to do that, she needs to enter my real life, not my basket robbins, sharing an ice cream cone life.




I go to the rep for instance to watch plays. I love plays. Play ticket costs 35 bucks. I don't think that's alot of money but i could see how some could say that's too expensive. I ask you this: which is more expensive, spending 70 bucks, plus maybe 10 dollars for food / misc **** on a date to find out if you are compatible or spending hundreds of dollars over a longer period of time becuase you were doing things that were pretty generic and did not show if you were or were not compatible? I'm not going to find out anything by taking a woman to starbucks. I will find something out by taking a woman to the Zoo however, which is pretty cheap actually, but that's something I like tho do.



I have had success with both. First date I went on with my current woman, costs me all of waht, 12 dollars for drinks, we went to the beach. my last REAL GF I took to the rep with me.

money is not the constant, it's integrating a woman into your everyday life.

 

[Zarky]

Back in the recession of 2001/2002 I lived in my car for a year. Literally slept in my car every night for a year. Didn't have anything. Banged two chicks during that time. One in the car, one at her place.

Buddy of mine is broke and living in a van right now. He just found a new girlfriend. There's women everywhere if you just have a little personality and are somewhat outgoing.

Admittedly money makes thing easier, and you usually get hotter women, but it's really mostly about your attitude.

EDIT: 600th post beeatch