Thought that the first date was great until... What should I do???

[pro_dudez]

I've met this girl on a mobile dating app about a month ago. We finally had a chance to go out on a date last Saturday. Picked her up at the station, went for a dinner at a nice cafe, followed by coffee. After that, we caught a movie and I sent her back home.

Personally, I think that there is little wrong that I have committed during the date. I was gentleman towards her and initiated most of the conversations, trying to make her laugh and smile whenever possible. She was kind of reserved. According to our previous texting, she mentioned that her friends label her as a "bimbo" and she's pretty straightforward.

Here's the text that followed after I sent her home.

Her: Thanks for everything. Sorry for being late. Drive safe!

Me: Just got home... No need to thank me, I had a good time too... Let me know when your schedule is free though... Busy woman... Hahaha...

Her: Haha seems like I didn't deter you enough

Me: Do you mean that you are usually a turn off? Haha...

Her: People find me fierce, just like you did.

Me: Do you think one date is enough to tell? But like I said, we're going out to have fun. If it works out, it works out.

Her: I think it's not enough to tell, but you can roughly tell the kind of guy. Yea, our outings should be stress-free.

Me: So am I your kind? As of now, it's only an outing, singular.

Her: My kind isn't good for me. Haha, right outing.

Me: Hahaha... Playboys? Bad boys? Clubbers?

Her: Haha i like guys with guts and are very manly, able to protect me. Basically just like my dad, but at the same time very doting and nice.

I've talked to a few of my friends about it and it seems that I am too available to her. Please give me your opinion on where this is leading to. If I would want to save the situation, what should I do?

 

[Poon King]

Listen.. men will always lose at "chit chat" because "chit chat" is the domain of women and faggots.

Your job as the man is to try to get laid. Your communication tool is flirting.. NOT chit chat. 90% of communication should be IN PERSON where you can touch her. Email, phone, texts are all tools to make plans.. NOT chit chat.

Her job as the woman is to try to convince you she is worth more than just sex. Your job as the man is to try to get laid. This is the simple formula that humans are naturally wired for. When we go against this we act like pandering tools. So don't go against it just because some feminist pig might call you a "dog" or a "douche bag".

 

[RangerMIke]

Too much fvcking texting.

When are men going to realize that it is never about what you do or what you say, but how you make her feel.

This is what you do. She texts you:

Her: Thanks for everything. Sorry for being late. Drive safe!

You: Yes, well.... you owe me one. You made me wait so you owe me another date. When are you free?

Anything other than a suggestion of a time/day for another date is FVCKING ignored.

Wait two weeks and call her and ask her out again. If she won't go out with you move onto the next one.

 

[cola]

You talk too much.


Her: Thanks for everything. Sorry for being late. Drive safe!
You: You're welcome. (Didnt you pay and drive? Wtf do you mean she doesnt have to thank you?)

Her: People find me fierce, just like you did.
You: Lol, ill text you tomorrow. Goodnight.

And did you even attempt to get her back to your place?
Wtf r you doing?

@ rangermike, two weeks is too long.

I disagree with only texting for dates, nothing wrong with a little banter inbetween, but keep it under two sentences.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Sosuave has turned into a bit of a parrot website, where one reply fosters the next reply and essentially everyone is saying the same thing without telling the OP where he specifically went wrong.

Now we weren't on the date so I can't speak for that.

But I can absolutely tell you that you came off as a nice "weak" guy in your post date texting.

Here's the text that followed after I sent her home.

Her: Thanks for everything. Sorry for being late. Drive safe!

Me: Just got home... No need to thank me, I had a good time too... Let me know when your schedule is free though... Busy woman... Hahaha...

You're showing too much interest too soon. Women like a man who's a challenge, they like to wonder & predictability makes you boring. You took any glimmer of mystery away from her mind by immediately asking her when she was free just after the date.

Her: Haha seems like I didn't deter you enough

Me: Do you mean that you are usually a turn off? Haha...

Her: People find me fierce, just like you did.

Me: Do you think one date is enough to tell? But like I said, we're going out to have fun. If it works out, it works out.

Her: I think it's not enough to tell, but you can roughly tell the kind of guy. Yea, our outings should be stress-free.

Translation: I'm not attracted to you, now don't take this as strictly looks. Probably has nothing to do with it, in fact since it was online I'd say the main reason she agreed was because she was physically attracted. Your demeanor, personality etc didn't match up with her hope for you.

Me: So am I your kind? As of now, it's only an outing, singular.

^^^^^ - total beta question. NEVER QUALIFY yourself to a girl. The girl should be wondering & doing this to you.

Her: My kind isn't good for me. Haha, right outing.

Me: Hahaha... Playboys? Bad boys? Clubbers?

Her: Haha i like guys with guts and are very manly, able to protect me. Basically just like my dad, but at the same time very doting and nice.

She just told you its game over with that statement.

We didn't get details of the date, but if you didn't tease her, lead and challenge her - you did it wrong.

Chalk it up as a lesson and let it go. She might text you if you go ghost on her now.

Whatever you do, don't become a desperate chump who keeps texting asking for that 2nd date, because its not likely to happen.









PIMP

 

[pro_dudez]

Thanks guys for the advice, especially for the detailed analysis.

I see what I did there that ruined my chances with this girl. Looks like I have much to learn from all of you and change from a BETA to an ALPHA.

Key Takeaways:
- Do not be predictable. Keep her guessing. Do not show too much interest (even though I am really interested in her).
- Never qualify myself to a girl.
- Texting is just a tool to set up dates. Real communication should be done face to face. Of course, a little flirting while texting is fine as well.

I haven't replied her since that last message, it's been almost 2 days now. Initial plan was to wait out for a week and then drop her a text, catch up and ask her out for a date. If she's not up for it, then guess it's time to move on. Or should I just go ghost all the way and wait for her to text?

Am just wondering, do you all think it is possible to turn things around? Turn things to your advantage? What should my next steps be to maximize my chances? Sure hope it isn't GAME OVER for me yet...

And sometimes, I just wonder, how can they make a judgement with just one date?

 

[BatJuan]

I agree with the other posters. But this chick sound a little off the rails. It's hard to get a read on someone after just one date, but apparently she has you all figured out (or so she thinks). It always amuses me when women make comments about me that are completely off the mark.

The other day I had a conversation with a chick about one of our mutual friends. Long story short, the mutual friend told me something that I mentioned in passing to the girl. Her brilliant analysis was that I was overthinking things and I must be insecure to make such a statement because what I said couldn't possibly be true. The basis for her beliefs was her assumption she knew our mutual friend better than she actually does. So she misread him and me.

That type of misread is typical with women who tend to be full of themselves. Be careful.

 

[pyros]

OP you seem to be too much of a nice guy...which is an attraction killer for the majority of women.

Analyzing your text exchange I conclude that as someone above said, she was attracted to you physically, but after the date she discovered how much of a nic guy you are, and all her horniness went to hell, her vag dried and she marked you as a male version of a female friend, ie, she she's not interested in your d-ick, but she will probably be interested in talking to you, stringing you along etc.

Wait a week to set another date?? what??? see this, in this case it doesnt matter cause you're not the type or jerk she digs, but for next dates with other women, do not wait so much to see her again, wait just a couple of days. If you wait a whole week she will loose interest in you because another option will pop up in front of her, ie, another guy that bangs her on the first or second date while you're still waiting for that whole week to complete LMAO...

My only tip for you is to get more practice, read all the red pill material you can and get real life experience, so after many messes you will start to do better.

For this girl I would not even contact her again cause she told you already, but indirectly, that she doesn't dig you. Unless you want some drama in your life, you want to waste your time, and you want to obssess over her of course.

 

[mustfirstregister]

I just hope you didn't pay.
Sounds to me that she wanted to fck.

 

[pro_dudez]

I paid... For dinner, drinks, movie and sent her home after. Right... Mr Nice Guy... Nice guys don't end...

Roger that fellow Don Juans... Most likely things are game over with this girl. But will still try for one more date. Lost touch with the dating field for approximately 4 years. Am still having the impression that on dates, have to be as gentleman as possible, respecting the girl's wishes and all. Guess that took all the magic out of the date.

Hate the feeling of being rejected (i.e. Can't make the cut). But I shouldn't be qualifying myself based on her criteria.

Found a site with all the Redpill Material (https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26a8r8/my_compilation_of_core_redpill_books_read_now/), will take some time to go through them and "evolve"...

Meanwhile, anyone who has any other advice (whether it's pertaining to this case (i.e. turning things around) or for future dates), shoot. I'm here to learn.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Ha her friends label her as a "bimbo".......it's the "nice" way of calling her a sl*t.

Looks like you've done enough re-search to stay busy for a while! Start with the DJ Bible, it's free. The books from the reddit site are great as well and all have been endorsed on here as well by many posters. Man you have some reading to do my friend, knowledge is power brother!

You are 4yrs out the game? Cut the dinner game & movies out, that's for later on down the road if she's worth it.

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

 

[GS750]

So she likes bad boy types who are a big softie around her. But...that's not you and she pretty much told you that. Probably wouldn't hurt to ask her out again...but chances are she's gonna give you the run around and keep you in orbit land.

 

[Suspens]

____________________________________________

Here's the text that followed after I sent her home.

Her: Thanks for everything. Sorry for being late. Drive safe! RED FLAG #1

Me: Just got home... No need to thank me, I had a good time too... Let me know when your schedule is free though... Busy woman DLV ... Hahaha...

Her: Haha seems like I didn't deter you enough Probably you didn't escalate. She is kinda disappointed with something.

Me: Do you mean that you are usually a turn off? Haha...

Her: People find me fierce, just like you did.

Me: Do you think one date is enough to tell? But like I said, we're going out to have fun. If it works out, it works out.

Her: I think it's not enough to tell, but you can roughly tell the kind of guy. Yea, our outings should be stress-free.

Me: So am I your kind?Seeking validation. Worrying about where it is going. As of now, it's only an outing, singular.

Her: My kind isn't good for me. RED FLAG #2 Haha, right outing.

Me: Hahaha... Playboys? Bad boys? Clubbers? Seeking validation. Lack of confidence

Her: Haha i like guys with guts and are very manly, able to protect me. Basically just like my dad RED FLAG #3 , but at the same time very doting and nice.

_______________________________________________________________________________________




If she gets in touch, you ask her to come over. No more "let's get to know each other" bs. Good luck with the next one.

 

[pro_dudez]

Hi guys! Am planning to drop the girl a text. Consider it the last try after 1 week of going ghost since her last reply.

What is a good opening? Am planning to ask her out for dinner and drinks after.

 

[Obsidian]

good opening is: "Hey do you want to meet up for [whatever]? I'm available on [specific day 1] or [specific day 2]"

And I would perhaps wait a second week.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Hi guys! Am planning to drop the girl a text. Consider it the last try after 1 week of going ghost since her last reply.

What is a good opening? Am planning to ask her out for dinner and drinks after.

Have a plan pick up the phone and call her, optimal time she'd be able to answer. If she ignores you then you know your answer.

 

[Obsidian]

I used to think phones were best. But I've about been converted to the whole texting thing.

 

[El Payaso]

Lol. I'm sorry but your texting is AFC to the core. Too many places where you messed up. Quite simply, use your phone only to make plans and not to "talk".

 

[usernamedox11]

text her and tell her she's the ugliest girl that ever rejected you

 

[GS750]

Obsidian has it. I get the feeling that this one is dead in the water. She hasn't reached out to you. But if you must contact her, text her and tell her you're going to xyz bar at x time and she should meet you there. If she refuses, gives an excuse, says maybe, or flat out doesn't reply..lose the digits.