This will be unpopular, but has anyone tired stopping this pick up stuff?

[Scion]

I'm kinda curious if anyone has stopped trying this pick up stuff and then seen some sort of change in themselves. I'm honestly sick and tired of women and their ****ing games and behavior, and I'm afraid I've become a little cynical. I've thought of stopping trying this pick up stuff (reading theory, going out solely to meet women), and maybe see if my outlook on life improves (or maybe I'll just go back to how I felt a few years ago, not caring that I was a virgin who couldn't get women). I honestly hate the way I feel right now, basically I feel like a failure, and I'd give anything to not care anymore (since I don't see myself becoming better with women anytime soon, maybe in the future when I'm successful and have lots of disposable money). Anyway, just want to see people's comments before I block this site.

 

[Nygard]

Depends. Do you want to get somewhere with this? If you really want to, keep doing it. Keep it going, don't stop. Plow through. I stopped and quitted. I've been over a year without trying or caring and if for some reason I had nothing to do and failed to keep myself busy, I'd probably become so miserable that i'd go insane or kill myself in a couple of months.

So, please, don't stop, it's a bad idea.

 

[Scion]

Well before 2 years ago I didn't care about women. Figured I'd eventually meet a girl (I was 23 and never had been on a date, never kissed a girl, obviously a virgin, hell I still am). And to tell the truth I was happy. Sure I'd have some friends question me why I'm never with a girl, but in all honesty I doubt they thought much of it. I worked, studied, went out with friends on the wknds. Quite content. Then I started to like a girl I worked with (She was the second girl I ever really liked, and it had been 3 years since I meet a girl I liked). Started search online on how to get her to like me, what to do, etc. Long story short she crushed me. She obsessed over this a*shole that basically didn't give a **** about her, he pretended that he wasn't dating her and would only invite her over to his house to "hang out". Then I discovered sites like this about 2 years ago. Started reading, going out, approaching. It did help to get over the girl, but I never got anywhere with the women I was meeting. I guess the failures of the last 2 years has slowly built up and now I don't even want to try anymore (I know it's a defense mechanism to keep me from being hurt more). So the only thing I can think of is blocking sites like these and go back to my routine that I had before getting into this stuff (but I'll keep up going to the gym, that's a positive change I want to keep). Don't know if this will help but I still think I'll try it, maybe for just 3-4 months.

 

[Warrior74]

Yes. But not for your reasons. I've been on the backburner with "pickup" for a while. I had a few FBs and I was doing pretty good, but I ran into financial hard times. I still have one FB left, but most of my time is spent on focusing on creating a business online (which is why I am always online). But it's not from a place of frustration or giving up. I went through a lot of that and I am still learning alot....so if you are giving up because you feel like you fail....thats the wrong answer, if you are giving up to focus on more important things then thats different. Personally I would ask if maybe you are putting to much pressure on yourself to live up to some ideal? Baby steps are the way forward. Make this stuff only a small part of your life, not your whole life. Good luck.

 

[Scion]

Personally I would ask if maybe you are putting to much pressure on yourself to live up to some ideal?

I'm not trying to live up to some crazy ideal. Maybe just getting more than one date with a girl and finally having sex. Those aren't too much I think. But in 2 years I haven't been able to accomplish that.

 

[Warrior74]

Well before 2 years ago I didn't care about women. Figured I'd eventually meet a girl (I was 23 and never had been on a date, never kissed a girl, obviously a virgin, hell I still am). And to tell the truth I was happy. Sure I'd have some friends question me why I'm never with a girl, but in all honesty I doubt they thought much of it. I worked, studied, went out with friends on the wknds. Quite content. Then I started to like a girl I worked with (She was the second girl I ever really liked, and it had been 3 years since I meet a girl I liked). Started search online on how to get her to like me, what to do, etc. Long story short she crushed me. She obsessed over this a*shole that basically didn't give a **** about her, he pretended that he wasn't dating her and would only invite her over to his house to "hang out". Then I discovered sites like this about 2 years ago. Started reading, going out, approaching. It did help to get over the girl, but I never got anywhere with the women I was meeting. I guess the failures of the last 2 years has slowly built up and now I don't even want to try anymore (I know it's a defense mechanism to keep me from being hurt more). So the only thing I can think of is blocking sites like these and go back to my routine that I had before getting into this stuff (but I'll keep up going to the gym, that's a positive change I want to keep). Don't know if this will help but I still think I'll try it, maybe for just 3-4 months.

Just read this. Dood. Go out and just get rid of your Vcard. Seriously. ****ng hiding and running from this isn't going to fix the problem. Your just gonna wake up older with more problems. Just get it done and over with. Stop being scared and do it. It's not about emotions, its about scoring. get it done.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173974

 

[Maxtro]

Learning pick up is only a very small part of getting women. None of this shit matters if you don't have high self-confidence and self-esteem.

Women are fucking nuts. Their thought process makes absolutely no sense to me.

Unfortunately I'm still failing with women after being on this board for 6 years so I can't offer any advice, except trying to improve yourself as much as you can.

 

[Warrior74]

Learning pick up is only a very small part of getting women. None of this shit matters if you don't have high self-confidence and self-esteem.

Women are fucking nuts. Their thought process makes absolutely no sense to me.

Unfortunately I'm still failing with women after being on this board for 6 years so I can't offer any advice, except trying to improve yourself as much as you can.

You shouldn't be making the first sentence if your making the last. You don't know what matters. What matters is having the will to get it done. There are only those with the will to make it happen and those who lack it. I'll go **** a fat bytch to loose my vcard just to get my dyck wet and get the ball rolling. Then **** my way through everything else up the food chain. My first was the neighborhood bike. She was hot with a hot body and cute, but she had a few miles on her. What ever...I kicked it with her...got it done. After that I wasn't afraid to get laid. Stop trying to make your first time something special and make it a nuisance to get over asap.

 

[hansol]

Yeah I got tired of it. I got tired of the "spin more plates" and the "...oh that's just a ***** shield, NEXT the tramp." A lot of times it could be true, but it seemed like any time a situation came up, it was "oh that's just a sh!t test, dump her."

Pickup for me was/is a means to an end. I didn't know how to act with women. I truely though the Disney/noble thing was the way to act, and it got me nowhere. I beat my head against a wall thinking that I couldn't BE any more noble and romantic! I did everything the hero in the movies did. Why wasn't it working? Then I saw an article in Esquire magazine that was an excerpt from Neil Strauss's book. I was hooked.

From there I went down the rabbit hole. Strauss, Mystery, Tyler Durden, David D, Keys to the VIP, basically ANY pickup material I could read. For me it wasn't about getting laid however: it was at first learning (okay obsessing) about the female mind. I couldn't believe how strangely they reacted to things. Indirectly though a more important thing happened.

Somewhere amongst all the pickup drivel and methods and teachings, you start to internalize certain MASCULINE traits. And I think that is all pickup is: a means to "re-learn" the masculine arts that we males have been brainwashed of. It's a way to subtly learn how to be Men.

The kicker though was it only generally teaches you the "Man-skill" of how to act/live with women. It doesn't directly help with your health, or your reading comprehension, or financial decisions, or how to fix a truck. Indirectly it does give you confidence to pursue these things, but that's about it.

Pickup was just a sliver of the big picture of life. I've moved on to different things since then, but I'm not even close to being 100% adept (I'm at maybe 65% on a good day) at sorting my OWN emotional reactions out. That's why I hit up these boards: I can get non-biased advice as to how to keep my own **** in check. Women are the easy part; it's fixing yourself that takes time.

Getting laid and snagging numbers is over-rated and gets old quickly. Bettering your life by understanding interactions and psychology and fixing your own negative traits is a good thing, and the more you do of that, the more you not only realize how far you've come, but how far you still have to go.

Use pickup as a stepping stone, not as a thing to create a life around.

 

[Scion]

I'll go **** a fat bytch to loose my vcard just to get my dyck wet and get the ball rolling

I've tried f*cking a ugly girl just to lose it. She was a ub4, maybe 5. Had her naked in my bed, had a condom on, went to put it inside her and she pushed me off her. So I started kissing her, tried again and nothing. She told me she wanted to stay a virgin til she met the right guy (this is a 19 year old girl). Anyway, after the fact I felt disgusted with myself and vowed I wouldn't go for a girl I wasn't attracted to. And since then I've only tried with girls I've found attractive but nothing. I'm done with the frustration of dealing with women. I've got enough problems in my life, I don't need problems because of them too.

 

[handle]

The moment I said "fvck this sh!t" was when I became successful. All the **** I actually needed (decent social skills, ability to make myself look good, have a conversation, etc) stayed with me and I stopped thinking about all the other bull**** that wasn't helping. I really think all the "inner game" should come from your own personal revelations. This stuff gets you on your feet if you need it. After that, it's really about what YOU want to get out of it (probably different from 85% of the posts here!) And you'll probably be just as frustrated as I was if you aren't taking the forum/"techniques" with a bucket of salt.

Once you've got some basics and something works for you, stop the "pick up stuff." Just do your own thing.

 

[Rasputin]

I'm kinda curious if anyone has stopped trying this pick up stuff and then seen some sort of change in themselves. I'm honestly sick and tired of women and their ****ing games and behavior, and I'm afraid I've become a little cynical. I've thought of stopping trying this pick up stuff (reading theory, going out solely to meet women), and maybe see if my outlook on life improves (or maybe I'll just go back to how I felt a few years ago, not caring that I was a virgin who couldn't get women). I honestly hate the way I feel right now, basically I feel like a failure, and I'd give anything to not care anymore (since I don't see myself becoming better with women anytime soon, maybe in the future when I'm successful and have lots of disposable money). Anyway, just want to see people's comments before I block this site.

Dude congrats, you are actually in the same mood like I was several times before. But I can help you: First of, you must accept is, when you approach women, you will have MASS failure. I just reached this insight short time before. And please ask yourself seriously: How many women do you really have approached yourself? 1,2,10,100,1000? Until you reach 100, there's nothing wrong with you. And I bet you didn't get 100
But your real problem is your inner game: Self conscious and a good self esteem paired are priceless for a good interaction and a solid approach rate. Maybe you read a book about fear of rejection too.
I don't know, how familiar you are in understanding your mood/body, but I hope you understand my remarks.

Cheers and head-up, your mood clears up faster than you think

Rasp.

 

[Scion]

Thanks for the comments guys. But I've decided to put girls on the backburner for. And I'll be blocking sites like these since being on them is kind of a waste of time right now. I'll do that for next 4 months and see if anything changes. In the meantime I got lots of other stuff to concentrate on. See ya all in sept.

 

[moneyisking]

you're hitting something that i emphasize. more and more it feels like women and all the other pick up bs is actually not a problem. it has to do more with yourself and i think pick up is kind of irrelevant when getting girls. like some guys said up there on the post, confidence, attitude, and just totally not giving a f uck is the good way, but our problem is... we (or I) always regress to giving to much f uck and screwing things up and end up being nervous.

 

[Maxtro]

You shouldn't be making the first sentence if your making the last. You don't know what matters.

No. You're wrong. I do know what matters. Just because I'm not good at it, doesn't mean I don't understand.

What matters is having the will to get it done. There are only those with the will to make it happen and those who lack it.

That will comes from having a good amount of self-confidence and self-esteem, what the community calls, inner game.

My inner game is absolute shit and is the reason why I'm doing so poorly. I don't have the strength to keep trying and to repeatedly push myself.

I've also had sex with women not because I liked them but just for the sake of sex and it feels meaningless to me. Granted, money was involved in all of those occasions.

 

[DanelMadr]

Hey OP. You are missing a point here.

And very important one.

You think that you worked hard and earned nothing and it frustrates you. O.K. I can understand that.

But your mistake is thinking you earned nothing...you experienced many things which makes you more rich and mature. And stories you will laugh about later.

You forgot to enjoy the ride. The goal is unimportant in fact. The ride...your life...present moment is the important thing.

And I think that is why you are not so successful achieving the goal. You care too much about the goal and not enjoying the ride.

If you don't think you deserve happy life...enjoying ride...well...give some money to charity or something or just don't be so hard on yourself ;-)

 

[Scion]

Hey OP. You are missing a point here.

And very important one.

You think that you worked hard and earned nothing and it frustrates you. O.K. I can understand that.

But your mistake is thinking you earned nothing...you experienced many things which makes you more rich and mature. And stories you will laugh about later.

You forgot to enjoy the ride. The goal is unimportant in fact. The ride...your life...present moment is the important thing.

And I think that is why you are not so successful achieving the goal. You care too much about the goal and not enjoying the ride.

If you don't think you deserve happy life...enjoying ride...well...give some money to charity or something or just don't be so hard on yourself ;-)

well I did gain something, I'm no longer afraid of making a move with women. Before i'd get stressed out over kissing a girl. I think my problem is that I care too much about succeeding. That's why I thought of getting away for a bit.

 

[thefonz]

Don't block the site, you can always come back later when you feel better

I've been right where you are guy, eventually you will start to go out and see all these hot bodies walking around and want to know what to do about it. That's normal.

The best advice I can give you is don't become you're own worst enemy. Don't beat yourself up EVER. Be positive after each female interaction. If you only knew how powerful your thoughts were you would never think a negative thought.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Know what you're feeling right now, down and out with the "Pick Up" stuff Leaving here for 2 weeks won't do no harm. The fact is to leave it for good, this should be you're bunker of communication when shyt hits the fan. Theres something you aren't DOING, list things on what you want to improve on, maybe its tweaking one or two of those things to achieving more success with women.

I also am starting to get very cynical, but thats only when I'M FEELING DOWN, when I'm feeling bad, on fire, most awesome guy alive, I don't sit in dispair, so take the good with the bad, but I understand where you're coming from. A user called "YAboi" once wrote up a thread about the before and after effects of coming to sites like SoSuave.

I say to myself, was I actually getting more success with women before joining up here, or isit me just noticing the truths that are told on here, which makes me do the things I do, whether I succeed or fail with them. I'm in a constant battle of "What If" or "Did I fail because I said this or did that", I'm in a time travel of thinking how I USED TO DO IT - I guess you could say just "NATURAL" whether it broke the rules of the community or not. I was still alot happier with women. Knowing whether you're getting better or not is really hard, kinda like walking on eggshells. To be honest, I was more cheerful not knowing the uncomfortable truths of women and being an AFC. Now, it seems like a system of tables to achieve a "pinaccle" which looks completly impossible to reach.

Don't let them make you quit, if you're going to go out, go out swinging.

 

[bukowski_merit]

As i reach into my encyclopedia knowledge of underground rap lyrics, i pull out this:


"Sometimes i reflect, sit, and wish that i was ignorant
Unaware of the poison, so i could enjoy sipping it"

I really feel that way sometimes... But with me - it's not about pick-up; it's way deeper than pickup...

Example:
I was just talking to a girl i have sex with about once a month. I wouldn't even consider us FBs.

She was telling me about how she was talking to a guy (a guy she called a player), they hung out a few times, some drama happened (another girl tried to fight her over him,) the guy took the other girls side, and she goes on to tell me how much she hates him now and how pissed off she is that the guys taking this other girls side. All this while claiming to me that they're only friends, and never messed around.

If i were dumb to male-female dynamics - i would probably believe her; maybe even say "yeah, you learned your lesson for hanging out with a guy like that". (even though i am a guy like that, im just open about it; whereas he lies about everything lol)...

But with my knowledge of women and how they operate - i heard about 20 holes in her story. Enough to make me say to her, "you know you have no reason to lie to me right? we're not anything more than friends who fvck sometimes."

Even still, she continued on "I don't have feelings for him" and "i never messed around with him"

My mind goes even deeper into it - and im thinking "if this guy is really good with women - he'll know that he can easily turn that anger into a better emotion with a few well placed words to her"

Then im like "why the hell am i analyzing this?!?!??!" - i have no reason too... but my mind just does it.... Same thing when i am over my parents house and they get into an argument.... or listening to a friend complain about his relationship... or at a cookout and hear a woman tell a man what to do.


And i really wish sometimes that i didn't see things so clearly. It's scary sometimes how clear everything appears....

I hate matrix analogies.... But sometimes i don't feel like fighting the war for the underground... I just wish i could sip my poison in peace with a smile....

But unlike pickup - once you learn about relationship management, and once your exposed to the sickness of most women - you can't really just forget it.... i will see signs until im too old to recognize them....

--

But anyway, even with all this - i still wouldn't want to go back to the way i was for the first 19-20 years of my life.