This short video is the reason I'll never do cold approaching

[LiveYourDream]

a blindsided cold approach wont work 99% IMHO
a cold approach from a glancing, mutual smile will likely hit +50% if done right I think

I get alot of "mutual smiles" and "hi/hello" from women (always from them first) when walking in the city/mall etc but have never pulled a "excuse me" on one and go for instadate...

@LYD what do you make of that behavior from women?

@MrWood, I am not clear what your question is actually asking me. Would you clarify it further please.

 

[DiegoSantori]

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

2. It makes you look desperate. This goes back to the "unnatural" reason above. Most guys tend to meet girls that they date or hook up with at bars/parties, or through friends. Doing random approaches, especially alone, makes it look like you're desperate and have no other avenues for meeting women.

3. You will never see any investment bankers, big law firm lawyers or doctors do cold approaches. Ergo: High status men don't do cold approaching.

/thread

 

[MrWiggles]

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

2. It makes you look desperate. This goes back to the "unnatural" reason above. Most guys tend to meet girls that they date or hook up with at bars/parties, or through friends. Doing random approaches, especially alone, makes it look like you're desperate and have no other avenues for meeting women.

3. You will never see any investment bankers, big law firm lawyers or doctors do cold approaches. Ergo: High status men don't do cold approaching.

/thread

1. It isn't "unnatural" to have a conversation with someone, stranger or not. Maybe your social skills are lacking if you can't simply have a conversation with someone.

2. It is only desperate if you are actually desperate. What do you think meeting a girl at a bar is called when you approach someone at a bar? Isn't that a cold approach because they aren't part of your social circle?

3. I think you are referring to Alphas when you use these examples and to that I say alphas do whatever the hell they want. I am pretty sure all of those examples have "cold approached" before. Do you think women out in the world are going to just come crawling to you?

4. Dont be scared homie.

 

[Serenity]

Why? Cold approaching is fun, if you're not trying to win.

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

I've seen myself do it, does that count? I also had a really good view of a typical daygame cold approach while at a restaurant with my female cousin. Saw it through the window, guy stops woman and they stand there talking and gesturing for 5 minutes. Exchange numbers and continue on their own way.

It happens probably 3 times a minute on a good sized nightclub, maybe a little less frequently in other bars. If you think of cold approaches as "hey", "you're attractive" and "can I have your number?", then that's the most awkward possible cold approach. I just walk over and hit up a conversation as if it was the worlds most natural thing to do. Then slowly work my way closer to her (given I like her personality too).

Whenever I did cold approach (not anymore since I'm exclusive) I counted on being rejected, but I did it anyways for the fun of it. I don't see what's so horrible about it. It just means that one single woman wasn't up for it, but there's always someone who is.

It's a numbers game as has been repeated endlessly on this forum. If you do 100 of them and get a number from 20 of them, that's a success rate of 20% or 1 of 5. That's a lot, but if you got rejected 4 times doing it and then decided to give up, you'd never know.

 

[guru1000]

2. It makes you look desperate.

^^ Here is the deeper issue: How an act makes you look (to others), as if others' opinions direct how you should or should not act.

You're a puppet directed by the strings of the puppeteer (others' opinions).

 

[MrWood]

@LYD "I get alot of "mutual smiles" and "hi/hello" from women (always from them first) when walking in the city/mall etc (but have never pulled a "excuse me" on one and go for instadate...)"

What is a woman feeling/expressing/saying with this type of attention?

I get this attention when Iam with other guys too (and walking with women but not as often), and my guys often comment on it (dude she totally smiled at you)
my friends are, to me, clearly more handsome, sharper dressers and younger (30's).

confused

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You can make money with the truth too. Just sayin'.

Generally speaking, no.

Few people (if any) want to hear the truth. But I will admit a lot of "Red Pill" is sold as "truth" when it's really just ego-protecting sour grapes.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Oh I see we talk again about "confidence" as if it is some magic spell that overcome physics.

So we get nature, demand and offer law, mainstream culture and so on simply overcome from "confidence", dont get me wrong Im not saying cold approaches dont work, Im saying that the work/benefits ratio is gonna be low if you're good looking and non existant if you're average or less than average, especially since in few seconds you cant build rapport or show your status.

Also dont forget that nowadays phone numbers are a benchmark of interested as much as a handshake was in the 90s.

Before someone bash me, I've been cold approaching from years in any possible place from the post offices to clubs, even couples or group of girls and I still do it.

Needless to say that a calibrated social circle game or attempts in place where personality and techinique matter more, the succes has been uncomparably higher.

 

[MrWiggles]

Oh I see we talk again about "confidence" as if it is some magic spell that overcome physics.

So we get nature, demand and offer law, mainstream culture and so on simply overcome from "confidence", dont get me wrong Im not saying cold approaches dont work, Im saying that the work/benefits ratio is gonna be low if you're good looking and non existant if you're average or less than average, especially since in few seconds you cant build rapport or show your status.

Also dont forget that nowadays phone numbers are a benchmark of interested as much as a handshake was in the 90s.

Before someone bash me, I've been cold approaching from years in any possible place from the post offices to clubs, even couples or group of girls and I still do it.

Needless to say that a calibrated social circle game or attempts in place where personality and techinique matter more, the succes has been uncomparably higher.

Cold approaching can help build bigger social circles as well so there really is more to it than "an act of desperation" like the OP was droning on about.

 

[LiveYourDream]

@LYD "I get alot of "mutual smiles" and "hi/hello" from women (always from them first) when walking in the city/mall etc (but have never pulled a "excuse me" on one and go for instadate...)"

What is a woman feeling/expressing/saying with this type of attention?

I get this attention when Iam with other guys too (and walking with women but not as often), and my guys often comment on it (dude she totally smiled at you)
my friends are, to me, clearly more handsome, sharper dressers and younger (30's).

confused

@MrWood There is no set answer to share on what women are up to with that. It depends on the woman and the interaction. The best way to find out is slow down or stop and immediately engage her in an easy, friendly, light-hearted, and fun way. She'll either be into it or be on her way. There is no loss to you. If your male friends are sensing you are passing up women looking for you to connect, then they are likely seeing something you aren't. Why not, up your response. You don't have to push for an instadate to make it worth your while. Just get out of your comfort zone and up your game. Shift gears from passing by such a woman, to stopping and speaking and having an interaction, of some kind with her.

Consider this, she's already smiled and maybe said hello, so she's a reasonably friendly woman. You have nothing to lose. The win starts with engaging the conversation. Make that your goal to start and get comfortable with it and as you are inclined up it from there.

 

[RangerMIke]

Social circles are easy... they are also the most messy.

Cold approach is better, you have to work harder and success rates are low, but it is MUCH easier after a break and easier to date multiple women if they do not know each other.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Cold approaching can help build bigger social circles as well so there really is more to it than "an act of desperation" like the OP was droning on about.

Out of the last 100 cold approaches you've done, how many lead to sex or to new social opportunities?

In my case a 10% ratio, probably less.

I believe its not the action itself that has to be judged but that action in the local environment and culture, what was a sign of bravery 20 yrs ago its now a sign or creepyness when done for most of the men in most of the environments.

But again it depends who you are even before than how you do it, a bold approach and a creepy one are mostly differentiated from a hair line and a symmetric face more than the rest.

 

[Atom Smasher]

In my view, effective "cold approaching" is simply being friendly, relaxed, and sharing your masculinity with the world around you. No techniques are needed. A high percentage of women will show interest. Once interest is shown, you escalate. You've already been invited to escalate by her smile.

 

[MrWiggles]

Out of the last 100 cold approaches you've done, how many lead to sex or to new social opportunities?

In my case a 10% ratio, probably less.

I believe its not the action itself that has to be judged but that action in the local environment and culture, what was a sign of bravery 20 yrs ago its now a sign or creepyness when done for most of the men in most of the environments.

But again it depends who you are even before than how you do it, a bold approach and a creepy one are mostly differentiated from a hair line and a symmetric face more than the rest.

to answer your question, I have been shot down way more times than I have been successful BUT Ive said this before somewhere else on this board but just because you cold approach and you think your game is on point doesnt mean youll be successful anyway. Not every girl is going to like you but the point is this... why limit yourself to only social circle game because you arent as successful with cold approaching? Sounds like ego protection to me and thats closed minded. There will be plenty of girls in your social group that will reject you too I am sure but it doesnt sting as much because you dont come across as a "creep"

I am not against social circle game at all because who hasnt done that but dont be crippled by your fear of what other people think of you when you cold approach. This is more directed at OP since you say you still cold approach. so what if the girl thinks youre creepy? what if the next one thinks youre brad pitt?

 

[LiveYourDream]

In my view, effective "cold approaching" is simply being friendly, relaxed, and sharing your masculinity with the world around you. No techniques are needed. A high percentage of women will show interest. Once interest is shown, you escalate. You've already been invited to escalate by her smile.

A Man cold approaching me this way feels like the natural flow of life. Women like that. It also subtly feeds a woman's romantic ideas of how things can unfold. When done right, it feels really good to a woman (and for the Man). It is not the experience of some creepy guy targeting me from afar, or out of the blue.

This approach is done as part of life. It automatically massively exudes the Man's confidence and assuredness, to the woman. As a woman, these are fun and easy going interactions, that are often flattering. It feels good to a woman when a Man chooses to share his attention and masculinity with her.

They are simply interactions where it's clear that the Man is not outcome dependent and simply engaging you as a woman. The woman then feels free, in the Man's complete lack of neediness with her. Understand he may want her and even make that 100% clear. Because this man's approach, in life and thus the interaction, comes from centeredness, it is the opposite of needy or creepy to her. It is massively attractive. It increases her openness to him. The interaction then feels natural and perks her interest. This creates the space for her to comfortably engage with him (and feel attracted), in the moment and beyond. If she chooses not to, both move on with a smile, as it was simply a fun moment together.

 

[Alvafe]

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

2. It makes you look desperate. This goes back to the "unnatural" reason above. Most guys tend to meet girls that they date or hook up with at bars/parties, or through friends. Doing random approaches, especially alone, makes it look like you're desperate and have no other avenues for meeting women.

3. You will never see any investment bankers, big law firm lawyers or doctors do cold approaches. Ergo: High status men don't do cold approaching.

/thread

people already said what should be said but I will also toss mine here

1) not "unnatural"?, only if you make it so, you talk with people everyday, people you don't even know and will never see again, sometimes it happens others you will just need to use a certain element in the scene to do it, but its hardly unnatural, and that is comming from a dude who never do small talk with people around, I see it happening and it does happen with me.

2) only makes you desperate if you don't take hints of someone not willing to talk and you keep pushing, plus you are thinking on you will try to talk for a end to get her number (with per see means nothing), when you should be thinking, she is pretty let's see if she smart enough to hold my interest for a min or 2, then move on. also note talking with people in partys you never did know before with no one around close by could be called cold aproach, only normally since you ahd some drinks already you don't over think on this.

3)never? are you sure? try again


only problem I see here is you don't feel confortable to talk with random people, and think you going to talk with a girl means by default you will look as a creep for just thinking about it, youa re seeking validation on your actions and want people here to agree with you, when they don't you get defensive about it and try to push and look agresive in doing so

 

[Who Dares Win]

to answer your question, I have been shot down way more times than I have been successful BUT Ive said this before somewhere else on this board but just because you cold approach and you think your game is on point doesnt mean youll be successful anyway. Not every girl is going to like you but the point is this... why limit yourself to only social circle game because you arent as successful with cold approaching? Sounds like ego protection to me and thats closed minded. There will be plenty of girls in your social group that will reject you too I am sure but it doesnt sting as much because you dont come across as a "creep"

I am not against social circle game at all because who hasnt done that but dont be crippled by your fear of what other people think of you when you cold approach. This is more directed at OP since you say you still cold approach. so what if the girl thinks youre creepy? what if the next one thinks youre brad pitt?

You make it more complicate than it is, for me is work/benefit ratio, if cold approaching would grant me a 10% success rate and social circle game a 5% one, I would be doing more cold approaches than the other way around.

When it comes of cold approaches is 90% look, when it comes of social circle game probably 60% in my opinion, guess good looking guys with a plain personality or low status would have different results in the two fields, personally I'm very lazy and only put work where the chances of success are the highest.

Not saying that this is the only way to act, if someone likes the thrill of cold approaches despite the result good for him, personally as I said Im lazy and put work only when necessary or where it pays the most.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Cold approaching is the equivalent of working a ****ty minimum wage job for a living. The ***** slayers of my fraternity never had to approach or girl or even knew how to in the first place. Girls would come to parties looking for them or they got hooked up through a friend.

 

[DiegoSantori]

^^ Here is the deeper issue: How an act makes you look (to others), as if others' opinions direct how you should or should not act.

You're a puppet directed by the strings of the puppeteer (others' opinions).

Just lol. You're contradicting yourself. You all care about your cold approach success rate which depends solely on the opinion that women have of you, but then you want to tell me that I'm other people's puppet? It does matter whether women think you're desperate or not because this determines whether you're successful or not. A lot of you are so blinded by the IDGAF concept that you ignore other people's reactions and how they think of you. Oh, you don't care about what other people think? Congratulations, you must be so cool. But please don't be surprised when a lot of women think you're weird and reject you while you're busy living your IDGAF life.

only problem I see here is you don't feel confortable to talk with random people.

Oh, don't worry brah, I feel very comfortable talking to random people. But they're usually coming to me, not viceversa. Be the flame, not the moth, you know what I'm saying?

I don't get you, guys. You're quick to call guys on this forum "desperate" and "needy" for god-knows-what-reason but when it comes to cold approaching, you suddenly ignore your principles. "Your attention is your currency"? Your attention isn't worth a dime if pretty much any woman walking down the street can have it! "Don't put women on a pedestal"? By thinking about your success rate and spending hours and hours seaching for a woman who is willing to give you the time of the day, you're putting women on a throne larger than the one Xerxes I of Persia was sitting on!

Lamborghini doesn't call you to sell you a car. By cold approaching, you officially tell a woman that you're a low value second-hand car. Even if you manage to get her number, she's busy trying to get the Lambo.

Cold approaching is the equivalent of working a ****ty minimum wage job for a living. The ***** slayers of my fraternity never had to approach or girl or even knew how to in the first place. Girls would come to parties looking for them or they got hooked up through a friend.

Thank you! Glad to see someone else who knows the truth.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Plus people don't like getting aggressively hit on. We had a pledge that would cold approach girls with game tactics at parties and every where in general. We started hearing back girls were creeped out by this guy and he was bothersome. We ended up dropping this pledge because this. Guy wasn't ugly either, looked liked that sunshine guy from Remember the Titans.