This sh**'s getting old (pun intended)

[SW15]

If you move to a major city (I saw you also created a thread about Los Angeles) you will be a 'small fish in a big pond' and competing with many other hot guys who may even possibly be more financially successful than you.

@BPH created that and I responded.

In 2022, I created threads about Phoenix and Dallas. Both those threads are still ongoing. Both of them have great information about those cities.

Observations on Phoenix's Scene

Phoenix, Arizona has become one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the United States. It has grown a lot in recent decades. The 2020 Census estimated that Maricopa County (covering most of Metro Phoenix) has a 4.4 million population. In 1990, Maricopa County only had 2.1 million people. Almost...

www.sosuave.net

Observations on Dallas' Scene

Based on @Jesse Pinkman's write ups of New York City, Miami, and large state universities, I thought it would be worthwhile to write up Dallas, the city I call home. The Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area (DFW) is the 4th most populated metropolitan area in the United States. Dallas and Fort...

www.sosuave.net

'Small fish in a big pond' is a real consideration. Most men have to consider it. One of my cousins once turned down a job offer for Metro New York City in favor of staying in a mid-sized metro. Part of the reason he did that was because he didn't want to have the 'small fish in a big pond' experience in his social life.

 

[Plinco]

This is a Wilmington, DE problem. In bigger cities, no one cares if a man is 31 and single so long as he avoids college specific bars.

In your region, you need to be living in Philadelphia at your age and status.

A 31 year old shredded guy with a roommate in Philadelphia can still do well seducing women even without money and status in post-college bars.

This is the wrong mindset. You're allowing others to dictate how you live.

If the problem actually is age, why not go for women closer to your age?

I can't speak for BPH. For me however, integrity > sex
I'm only attracted to young women. Telling me to go after older women is telling me that I should only go after what I am not attracted to. There's a lack of standards among men, and that shows on this forum.

 

[Plinco]

Just lie about your age.

the answer is to lie about your age like I do lol

OP this is simple. Lie about your age.

What happens if he meets a girl that knocks it out of the park; whom he considers getting serious with, and then has to explain to her that he lied to her on day one?

It can be done playfully. If it doesn't go right, it will really put a pinch in his game.

My advice @BPH , just be blunt and honest with this one. Granted I know women use dishonesty, but I take the position of calling out their dishonesty and maintaining a sense of integrity.

 

[SW15]

This is the wrong mindset. You're allowing others to dictate how you live.

Age gap relationships are very difficult to get in general.

Men move older because that's what they can get.

@BPH is good looking so he's ahead of the curve in general.

College is somewhat of a bubble and the college specific bars are difficult to break into if you're not an undergraduate or graduate student at the local university.

A 31 year old non-student will usually have trouble at college bars. Going for a slightly older woman isn't that bad of a move.

An older woman in this case is 23-26 and a recent college graduate or a working woman who didn't go to college. It's not that old in general.

Additionally, the entire Wilmington market is a difficult market because it is overshadowed by 2 bigger cities within 75 miles. The bigger issue is that he needs to leave Wilmington.

 

[Plinco]

Age gap relationships are very difficult to get in general.

I see it all of the time.

Men move older because that's what they can get.

The average IQ is also 100

 

[BPH]

What happens if he meets a girl that knocks it out of the park; whom he considers getting serious with, and then has to explain to her that he lied to her on day one?

It can be done playfully. If it doesn't go right, it will really put a pinch in his game.

My advice @BPH , just be blunt and honest with this one. Granted I know women use dishonesty, but I take the position of calling out their dishonesty and maintaining a sense of integrity.

Yeah, I agree with this. I don't want to lie. I can't think of a single time where I've lied my way into a woman's pants - and I want to keep it that way.

I can only see that creating problems in the future. If they have a problem with my age, it's THEIR problem. Like I said, everybody has their preferences. I'm just frustrated by how often it seems to be a dealbreaker in this specific environment.

 

[sevbucmash]

What happens if he meets a girl that knocks it out of the park; whom he considers getting serious with

I'd consider getting serious with a 19 year old too! They hot while they young.

 

[zekko]

I don't really know what type of solutions I'd expect to read, this is more of a rant on the ridiculousness of a number on my driver's license being what's getting in the way of me and these women - and it's starting to really piss me off.

I think the problem is that it comes off as a little creepy that an older guy is hanging around a college bar, most especially on your own. I would think that if you had gone there with a younger friend who was more appropriate for the setting, you would have your reason for being there, and it wouldn't look so creepy.

 

[Plinco]

I think the problem is that it comes off as a little creepy that an older guy is hanging around a college bar, most especially on your own. I would think that if you had gone there with a younger friend who was more appropriate for the setting, you would have your reason for being there, and it wouldn't look so creepy.

That's actually not a bad suggestion.

I'd consider getting serious with a 19 year old too! They hot while they young.

Girls are more attractive when they are young women. Personally, I like to have a good conversation with the women whom I find attractive. A conversation that isn't all intellect and actually fun.

 

[BPH]

I think the problem is that it comes off as a little creepy that an older guy is hanging around a college bar, most especially on your own. I would think that if you had gone there with a younger friend who was more appropriate for the setting, you would have your reason for being there, and it wouldn't look so creepy.

Sometimes I do go with friends, and even if I don't, I'm good friends with all the bartenders at this spot. Like, I have to throw my money at this one guy in order for him to take it because otherwise he just refills me with free doubles all night. I imagine that carries some level of social proof when you get served before the hot girls AND you get served for free - but clearly not enough to overcome the fact that I'm an outsider when it comes to their cliques.

 

[New_Journey]

I have come to think that you are a fraud @BPH . You are acting like a desperate incel who is a virgin, very thristy for women like they will be gone tomorrow, you are getting bvtthurt cause some women don't like you, are throwing temper tantrums like a toddler because they should be drooling for you, and you basically fail every $hit test.

A man who's fvcked 90+ women failing $hit test like a noob, doesn't compute. If you've fvcked all those women for real, you should see the patterns in them and if they are not interested you don't care. You are fraud and fake.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Sometimes I do go with friends, and even if I don't, I'm good friends with all the bartenders at this spot. Like, I have to throw my money at this one guy in order for him to take it because otherwise he just refills me with free doubles all night. I imagine that carries some level of social proof when you get served before the hot girls AND you get served for free - but clearly not enough to overcome the fact that I'm an outsider when it comes to their cliques.

I would argue being chummy with the bartender would make things worse in a cliquey college bar. They could view someone like you as not just an older dude who hangs around college bars, but one who's also a regular there.

 

[BPH]

I have come to think that you are a fraud @BPH . You are acting like a desperate incel who is a virgin, very thristy for women like they will be gone tomorrow, you are getting bvtthurt cause some women don't like you, are throwing temper tantrums like a toddler because they should be drooling for you, and you basically fail every $hit test.

A man who's fvcked 90+ women failing $hit test like a noob, doesn't compute. If you've fvcked all those women for real, you should see the patterns in them and if they are not interested you don't care. You are fraud and fake.

That's cool.

I would argue being chummy with the bartender would make things worse in a cliquey college bar. They could view someone like you as not just an older dude who hangs around college bars, but one who's also a regular there.

Yeah, that's a possibility actually...hadn't thought about it that way.

 

[Clockwerk50]

That's cool.

View attachment 14184



Yeah, that's a possibility actually...hadn't thought about it that way.

Did the girl flake?

 

[BPH]

Did the girl flake?

Which one? Girl number 3 from the OP?

 

[Divorced w 3]

You give off the vibes of the guy who lives at home because of your age, and where you’re hanging out. It’s not like it’s thanksgiving and you’re home seeing college buddies hitting the old spots. You need to get your life together.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Which one? Girl number 3 from the OP?

Yea. The one that’s was down from 7 pm or 8 pm on Saturday, but you switched it to Sunday.

 

[BPH]

You give off the vibes of the guy who lives at home because of your age, and where you’re hanging out. It’s not like it’s thanksgiving and you’re home seeing college buddies hitting the old spots. You need to get your life together.

I agree. Working on that. Just frustrated with what I'm running into when exploring what's available to me NOW.

Yea. The one that’s was down from 7 pm or 8 pm on Saturday, but you switched it to Sunday.

I'm picking her up in an hour. Now that I have a work truck I can pick her up in something a little less feminine than a damn Prius. Taking her to this nice, low-key bar off-campus. I gave her a lot of outs, and despite her constant sarcasm saying "maybe" she'll show up SHE actually texted ME today to confirm we were still hanging out.

She knows I'm older, I know she's graduating in a few weeks, so I'm kinda curious how well this could go.

In other news, today's my birthday and I went out in Philly with some friends last night. Met a younger girl who didn't have a problem with my age, and I thought I was going back home with her until her drunk friend basically forced her into a cab before she could decide whether she wanted to come back with me/invite me to hers.

Anyway, I say this because she FaceTimed me later that night and was drunkenly chatting with me, getting to know me a little better and she decided it was a red flag that I A. did not have any tattoos (because she did) and B. that I had been in 3 relationships.

I can't tell if she was joking or serious, but I haven't heard from her since

 

[zekko]

Sometimes I do go with friends, and even if I don't, I'm good friends with all the bartenders at this spot. Like, I have to throw my money at this one guy in order for him to take it because otherwise he just refills me with free doubles all night. I imagine that carries some level of social proof when you get served before the hot girls AND you get served for free - but clearly not enough to overcome the fact that I'm an outsider when it comes to their cliques.

You said sometimes the girls asked you why you were there. Maybe you could say you were friends with the bartender?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I agree. Working on that...


In other news, today's my birthday and I went out in Philly with some friends last night. Met a younger girl who didn't have a problem with my age, and I thought I was going back home with her until her drunk friend basically forced her into a cab before she could decide whether she wanted to come back with me/invite me to hers.

Anyway, I say this because she FaceTimed me later that night and was drunkenly chatting with me, getting to know me a little better and she decided it was a red flag that I A. did not have any tattoos (because she did) and B. that I had been in 3 relationships.

I can't tell if she was joking or serious, but I haven't heard from her since

You've still got a lot of work to do